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now remember kids whatever tree you pick
out is going to have to be one you can
all agree on and if I see any fighting
we're going straight the [ __ ] home
shut the [ __ ] up mother it's Christmas
we're getting whatever the [ __ ] we want
ha ha ha you tell her Manik you showed
that dumb [ __ ] down
don't began an expensive iterator cow
save yo yo Mingo Tim wanna be at some
level DSS take a chill pill old man yet
we ain't scared of you [ __ ] Sonic Manic
you guys just have to come and check out
this amazing tree I found it's so pink
and cute it looks like it would be the
perfect tree for the living room Sonia
you have to be [ __ ] [ __ ] if you
think we're ever going to get a pink
Christmas tree yet we would be the
laughingstock of the neighborhood if
anybody saw that the Johnsons are
already making fun of us because of that
stupid inflatable chair that Uncle Chuck
put down by the driveway as a Christmas
decoration isn't that so cute how Sonia
wants the pink Christmas tree do you
remember how excited we would get you're
in Christmastime when we were kids the
only thing I remember is that the Dino
studs anti didn't exist before a
spanking me us well I think that this is
the best Christmas tree ever
whatever come on bro let's go look for a
tree that doesn't look like a smelly
pile of [ __ ]
huh what's up bro is something the
matter it's just at this ornament is
yellow like Bartleby so it made me think
of him
I invited him along because I thought we
could have a fun day but he's been in
the bathroom for the last 20 minutes I
hope he doesn't have diarrhea I
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shouldn't have eaten chili dogs before I
came here oh well what's done is done
time to wipe my ass
are you [ __ ] kidding me do the people
here at walnut I really think the type
but lobby Montclair of Dresden I'm going
to wipe my ass with toilet paper I only
wipe my ass with 50 million dollar bills
are you telling me warm at decent even
have thought how disgusting oh well it's
a good thing I always carry a couple
trillion dollars in my pockets [ __ ] I
forgot I came here on a speedo because
me and my [ __ ] were going ice skating
after this
hello is anybody there I'm not Lobby
Montclair of Dresden and I need help I
need money to wipe my ass if somebody
can lend me a fifty million dollar bill
I will pay you back eight thousand
trillion dollars can anybody hear me
I don't have any pants and my butt is
covered in [ __ ] take your time in here
son our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ
wouldn't want you to ship your best when
you're done come and meet me in the
produce section where I'll be handing
out Bibles hey hey kid yo you are you
listening to me God God is that really
you I had no idea your voice was so
freakin sexy nope my name is Matt levy
Montclair of Dresden though some would
liken me to a God I suppose wait the
world famous mark levy
you're the richest man alive I would say
you're above God my father is a pastor
at our church and he prays for you and
your boyfriend Sonic every night well
you're not God
but would you still listen to what I
have to say
you see I've been going through some
really stressful stuff recently a little
while back I I really started to
question my sexuality being that my
family is Christian well you can
probably see why that would be a problem
my family says that gay people go to
hell and stuff and it scares me like I'm
a little [ __ ] I see I can understand
why that would be stressful have you
told your father how you felt I've tried
a couple of times but he would just
spank me and say the power of Christ
compels [ __ ] I don't get what his
problem is so what if I like a boy it's
my life not his fortunately yes
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daddy I am back from school and you will
never believe it
I just met the cutest boy I've ever seen
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his butt must have been this big
his name was Sonic and he comes from a
poor family but he was really nice to me
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what in God's name are you wearing this
is the only pair of clothes that I own
you bought them for me on the day I was
born
don't you remember you and money went on
a business trip for three straight years
after that that's why I don't have
anything else to wear these don't go
dandy
I'll be a good boy forgive me for
speaking out of line Cyril Montclair but
I cannot condone what you're doing here
you had just gotten back from your
business trip 10 minutes ago and you're
already leaving again
you haven't even talked to your own son
since the day he was born three years
ago how do you think that makes him feel
to know that he won't be seeing his
father for another seven years daddy
please don't go please don't mean
so why are you stuck in the bathroom
stall leave a lock break or something
nope I'm just don't have any 50 million
dollar bills to wipe my ass with wait
that's why you're locked in there
you do know toilet paper exists right
are you stupid
are you [ __ ] [ __ ] you really don't
know how to wipe your [ __ ] ass with
toilet paper you like gonna regret those
words Beach holy [ __ ] you're crazy [ __ ]
Knuckles doesn't this deer costume look
super cute mom said I can buy it if we
all stay out of trouble today
isn't that bitchin you always saw it oh
with this instead of event you don't you
know I wasn't trying to well let me tell
what you should own with your Oh
sweetheart we don't have enough money
for a single tree what will we tell our
kids well they even love us anymore of
course honey pie we can make our own
tree out of toilet paper rolls and glue
they will be mad at first especially
when they see that it's used and covered
with my wet crap but they will
understand I'm sure of it
what a pity they don't even got enough
money for a [ __ ] tree what Domingo
you say we go over today and assert
dominance over a deep ravine that way of
amore money excuse us but we noticed
that you didn't have enough money for
the tree it is kind of tough during the
holidays here take some money oh I just
don't know taking other people's money
only Mexicans do that kind of thing go
on there isn't anything wrong with
accepting help once in a while well if
you are really okay with it
just 20 bucks what the hell can we buy
with 20 bucks can you not read [ __ ]
that tree costs 125 dollars well damn if
you are going to be like that then I
want my money back
[ __ ] you come on honey let's go get back
up here
okay listen up Manic I want you to go
over and take my money back from them
but you told me stealing is wrong
[ __ ] that go over there or I'm going to
pull down your pants and spank you in
front of everyone bro you can't you put
your thieving life behind you remember
don't belittle me Sonic I'm still the
best thief in the [ __ ] world this is
child's play
yep I still gutted now to sneak hon back
over to the others you wait right there
I saw it all
what were you doing sneaking around that
lovely couple just now just checking out
that Men's Finance Officer it was big
ass [ __ ] very well but just in case I'm
going to have to give you a pat-down
put your hands against the wall and
stick out your butt is this the right
position officer close rise your butt
cheeks up a little higher that's looking
real good so how old are you boy you
must be quite young with a body like
this it's so soft you smell so good down
here
you must wipe your ass good huh um well
I guess so oops sorry about that officer
I had a bean burrito for breakfast
haha don't worry it's not a problem at
all
run along now you shouldn't keep your
parents waiting otherwise a stranger may
trying talking to you no impressive bro
do you seriously showed them how did you
do it he went through your pockets and
all I swear even grope your butt okay
but I got to do it quick so nobody sees
war he clinched the money between his
butt cheeks and it's not just that look
there's even more money than just the
$20 bill
are you done showing off yet pull your
pants up the whole store can smell that
sure here you go the $20 along with the
wallet of the husband and wife and the
police officers to world home money
young know my opinion of Yahoo hosting
career still a little bit early
go buy yourself some a porn magazine it
what the [ __ ] are you teaching him you
can't reward him with born for stealing
relaxes its FinNick you see so they
Alberto MN so this is a home for me uh
actually no it's not you fat [ __ ]
they're my kids stop acting like you are
entitled to everything you're just some
creepy ass Uncle Creepy I do you all say
that the Lord wanted ways for say he'll
always me know he loved the dollar you
gave him Sonic told me that you scare
him hey the gifts are gonna let's go say
wish for a magazine demonic is going to
bleep
Oh what did you see something my person
I usually you see stick on the ice lip
damn Manic that was crazy
what kind of grown-up tells a 16 year
old to go buy porn what a creep
yeah for sure I'm just getting a candy
bar I'm being serious
like I bet he's spying on us right now
ha ha ha
no way that would be [ __ ] strange man
no like what if he really wants watching
you to see what form you are going to
buy okay now you're just being creepy
Bart levy has been pooping for 45
minutes I hope he's okay Bart levy Bart
levy are you in there I'm coming in hold
on [ __ ] is the tomb it's about time I
was about to walk out of here with my
eyes covered in [ __ ] you've been trapped
in here what happened is the door locked
or something worse than that I don't
have a 50 million dollar bill to wipe my
ass
hurry [ __ ] run home and get my pants I
should have a couple billion dollars in
my back but
Oh Bart levy you silly here just take
this money you gave me
no bitch I I can't I gave you that
million dollar bill so you could buy
chili dogs don't worry about that it's
the season of giving giving help to
those who need it that's what Christmas
is all about
you
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what is it Bart levy are you feeling all
right oh my apologies [ __ ]
I was just thinking about what you said
back there if this really is the season
of giving then then why didn't my father
ever give me a Christmas do you never
had the Christmas with your family
that's unbelievable
I couldn't no matter how much I wanted
to my mother and father were always away
on business trip it was always just me
and my Butler Alfred who would make
potato soup I guess we are the same in
that regard
I never even got to know my father
either no Sonic
you're wrong my life is worse than yours
at least you have your brother and
sister and even a mother unlike you I
had to fight for myself ever since I was
a baby you had friends that helped to
show you the light but I am the one who
had to fight the darkness Oh Bart levy
you're right I just didn't want to
accept it knowing that you went through
so much sadness more than I ever did it
pains me to know that I couldn't be
there for you when you were alone stop
all that fussing about what's important
is they we'd have each other now I love
you so much
Bart levy
now that is just the cutest [ __ ] okay
you two lovebirds
hurry back inside we already picked out
a Christmas tree we are going to plug it
in to make sure it works I don't
understand why won't anybody take a
Bible please God give me answers why is
it that many people are turning down
your grace it's because you closed off
your heart you put so much faith in some
imaginary God that you didn't give love
to what really matters your friends your
family or even your own son
goodness my child what happened to your
arm
it's nothing my father I deserved it
more importantly I want to speak with
you father growing up you showed me all
kinds of love now I think it is time for
me to teach you about what love really
is oh my boy could it be true
have I been blinding myself from reality
all this time I take it all back it's
okay if you like boys you will always be
my precious son who would have guessed
that you have been growing up from a
mere boy to a big strong man right
before my very eyes
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you know I apologize for the way I acted
before it's Christmas we should all be
kind I hope you can find in your heart
to forgive me
mum Uncle Chuck can we see the tree now
everybody is here that money keep it in
your pants boy Petra isn't going
anywhere
No stand back everybody we're leaving
this [ __ ]
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stop it
stop singing stop having fun Sonic
Underground is bad don't you see it sir
I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you
to jail put your arms behind your back
take me to jail what for the cause of
what you and your kind represent
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yet looks like another job well done
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