man Sonic this party for King sucks
balls when you invited me over for a 4th
of July party he told me that this was
going to be the party of the century I
thought we were going to play games eat
great food listen to black people music
and [ __ ] which is all night long but all
we've been doing all day
is standing in your front lawn drinking
Capri Suns and watching your bro Manic
light sparklers that he bought at the
dollar store your Uncle Chuck has been
dancing the party in the USA for the
past 4 hours the pool man pooped himself
20 minutes ago and still nobody is rave
enough to tell him well sausage head if
you don't like my party that much you
can just go home we don't want you here
but before you do give me those 15 bucks
you owe me
I told you those Capri Suns weren't free
Knuckles leave my bro alone it's not his
fault you came here expecting to [ __ ]
[ __ ] no bro Knuckles Knuckles is
right this perty does suck balls someone
needs to go tell Uncle Chuck he crapped
himself if it makes you feel any better
Sonic Mindy and I are having a lot of
fun shut the [ __ ] up Sonya did you
forget that he made me pay an $80
admission fee to come to this party
because Lutz have to pay extra
well guys check out that colorful bus
driving up the street that looks [ __ ]
badass that sure is a big bus I wonder
how many people are on it or rather I
wonder how many of them would [ __ ] me in
the ass oh my God oh [ __ ]
Sonic Manic is that who I think it is
you're damn right it's them Sonia come
on we need to get inside before they see
us
well well well if it isn't some of my
favorite people the Sonic Underground
[ __ ]
bus driver Bob what the hell are you
doing here I thought we already told you
that if we ever saw you around our house
again we would gang rape your ass so
hard that you would regret ever being
born oh don't mind me fat ass I'm just
passing by the Doodlebops have quite the
busy day today did did you say the
Doodlebops so there with you on the bus
right now of course they are all three
of them in fact we're on our way to a
gig of theirs right now it's 4th of
July so it's only natural that a famous
band like the Doodlebops would be
invited to perform at a huge firework
show downtown unlike smaller more
insignificant garage bands like your
little group the Sonic Underground
Rooney doodle
hey there Sonic long time no see how is
your band doing what's it called again
Sonic under [ __ ] is that it ha ha it's
called the Sonic Underground not under
[ __ ] leave us alone just because you're
more famous than us doesn't mean you
have the right to bully us Moe doodle
DeeDee doodle what's up [ __ ]
DeeDee doodle is in the [ __ ]
house [ __ ] I will suck anybody's
balls for 13 bucks Rooney doodle
I'll have you know that my bad is a
million times better than yours we may
not have money or fame but at least our
fans are all over the age of 12 and what
exactly is wrong with that
it's the 12-year olds that really get me
going if you know what I mean Manic I
don't understand who the hell are these
three sexy [ __ ] and why are you and
your siblings so afraid of them these
three Knuckles just like us are a rock
band
they're called the Doodlebops the blue
one with the afro is the bandleader and
their oldest brother his name is Rooney
doodle
the other two are DeeDee doodle the
keyboard player and Moe doodle
the badass drummer our band the Sonic
Underground and their band the
Doodlebops work under the same company
that is DIC entertainment we joined the
company before they did as you know the
sound Underground band rose to stardom
quickly before long we started doing
world why ters autograph sessions we
were always top of the charts we had
become the most famous band ever the
Sonic Underground was the [ __ ] and
everybody knew it we were a household
name we were dick entertainments mein
money source but not everybody was happy
eventually there were a few people who
became jealous of us that is where the
[ __ ] Doodlebops came and jealous of
our success and lost in their own greed
and lust they're joined to canter
tainment in no time at all they become
more popular than us especially when it
came to entertaining babies they become
the head of the music industry and ruled
over all of DIC entertainment grabbing
their by the balls with the Doodlebops
rise to fame the media started to forget
about the sounding Underground the
Doodlebops became even more famous than
Elvis Presley or Michael Jackson they
were rolling around in money while we
had to perform on street corners just to
get by DIC entertainment gave up on us
for the Doodlebops
so what are you dropping by here just to
make fun of us get lost Rooney doodle
can't you see we're having a party a
party you call lighting a few fireworks
a party haha I mean I understand that
your little band isn't famous enough
anymore for some big-name company to
call you up and ask you to perform
somewhere for 4th of July but damn
this is kinda pathetic only six people
showed up and half of them are your
Stoops
[Music]
and what exactly is wrong with that it's
the 12 year olds that really get me
going hey eyes forward Fat Boy don't you
know that it's rude to stare at other
people's property stop somebody stop
them stop it come back here please give
me back my son oh well would you look at
the time it's almost time for us to get
to our show
wouldn't you agree Rooney
[Applause]
[Music]
his name is Bartleby Montclair of
presence ever since he was a baby he was
a worldwide celebrity chances are you've
already seen him before as his face can
be seen on the cover on many magazines
all around the world but if you don't
know who he is there were only two
things you need to know
Sonic the Hedgehog is his [ __ ] and he
currently holds the world records for
being the richest and the sexiest man
alive we thank you all for tuning in
tonight where we have the honor of
having an exclusive one-on-one interview
with sir Bartleby thank you for having I
would have gotten here sooner but my
limo which is 33 miles long got stuck in
traffic so I had to take my 59
billion-dollar private jet instead well
all that matters is that you're here I'm
sure there are many people watching
tonight who would love to take a ride in
your private jet fifty nine billion
dollars is quite a lot especially for
the average person uh-huh well what can
I say I'm got lebih I'm not exactly your
average person beak before you came here
you told us there was something you
wanted to reveal to the world do you
mind telling us what that is well I
think now is as good a time as ever
you see I decided to write a book and
not just in a book a children's book
actually I call it but onic seasonal
harvest that's wonderful can you give us
all an idea of how this book came to be
what influenced you to write such a
masterpiece aimed specifically at
children it's a funny story actually one
night right after I had a can of potato
soup for dinner I was banging my bikini
at like he was being run over by a
steaMroller and then it hit me I want to
make children happy in some way so I
called up some guy in China and told him
to write a children's book and he
actually did it
that's great
while we were talking my staff went
outside and gathered up some homeless
kids from off the street would you mind
reading to them just to show the folks
at home how easy it is to read to the
young ones why I would love to nothing
makes me happier than making other
people happy and [ __ ] our right kids
show everybody what you've got it's time
to read the good [ __ ]
Bart Libby's boyfriend Sonic has a bit
but but Bart Libby smack
and if you all think that's impressive
you haven't seen anything yet if you
would all turn your attention to the TVs
the reviews are starting to come in from
all around the world regarding
Bartleby's book
how's it going my [ __ ] haha hey my
name is Jamal me and my gang just bought
Bart levees book the only thing I love
more than a bucket of KFC and my
basketball is this book homie my name is
Lee Jung Jin Yan Yan Mr liu Shinya and
this book is so good that I skipped
ninja class just to read it migrated
dropped from an e + 2 nd - so my dad
beat my ass severely but he promised me
that if I let him read at 2 I will bring
honor to my family once more
super of the book of birth plebeian
Sannikov sexist to tell miskova delegate
igneous and law in public hola
my name is Carlos I am Kumiko with me
Familia and we making tacos and burritos
when the commercial for Barbies book
came on TV and I was like hey mama I
need that [ __ ]
you
[Applause]
done that I shall try jalapeño playing
the ripe troll kids yo kitto ton
buoyancy the two white helpers he is it
in our own for this [ __ ]
we'll be right back answer just pull
around front and we will meet you there
do you want us to get you anything yeah
hit me open large a flea asunder yet
cookie haha Diet Coke it's because you a
fat ass [ __ ] isn't it hey dudes there's
something going on over in the Burger
King parking lot
[Applause]
[Music]
what are you guys doing here didn't you
guys have a concert to get to we do and
we are this is where we are performing
do we look stupid enough to believe that
why the hell would you be putting on a
show here
it's simple Fat Boy it's because we are
actually good unlike you of course
everyone loves the Doodlebops be them
children or even the adults the fine
establishment of Burger King is paying
us 28 bucks to play music
while you guys are at your house playing
with tiny fireworks we are out here
getting this left and right that's right
nobody cares about the Sonic Underground
now get out of here we have our 4th of
July party to get back to yeah well it's
not like not like him jealous or
anything just leave us alone all right
Hey hey you I'm talking to you what the
[ __ ] do you want
can't you see I'm shaking my smelly ass
on the dance floor I want you to
apologize for making my friend cry no
those Hedgehogs deserve no respect when
they look down on us a band that is
actually cool do you know how many
[ __ ] that I get to bang in the ass if
you so good then why the hell do you
just make music for little children and
babies
well let's just say this a 10 year old
is a lot slower at running than an adult
is what what do you mean by that
I believe we both know exactly what I
mean by that kids really love the
Doodlebops ha ha sometimes I even take
them for a ride on our tour bus do the
parents know about this you don't need
to ask any more questions hey how old
are you exactly
you're about as small as a 10 year old I
bet I couldn't even catch you if you ran
ha ha I'm 14 I see that's quite
unfortunate I thought you'd be younger
well run along kid we got a concert to
get back to now my sweet boy let me show
you around the Doodlebops fan just you
and me and remember you can't tell your
mommy or daddy what happens when we get
inside got it
[Music]
get your hands off me you [ __ ] creep
let him go mo there's no point nobody is
going to believe him anyways we're the
Doodlebops
one of the most beloved children's bands
in the world we are absolutely
untouchable
Sonic Sonic you have to listen to me
you're not going to believe what just
happened outside
not now Knux we're ordering food can I
get 22 burgers put 20 in a different bag
because those ones are mine
I want extra cheese and pickles on them
actually make it 26 burgers also do you
have those $1 cookies
I want like hey toes do you want to
drink with it yet just get me a couple
jugs of Mountain Dew hey Sonia what game
is that you're playing it looks super
cool it's awesome give it a look holy
[ __ ] that's [ __ ] sweet like damn
where do I buy you can buy it from its
dotty oh it's only ten dollars - really
only ten dollars but that games looks
way too good to be that cheap
I'll definitely pick that up later here
you go fat boy
try not to it at all in one sitting haha
it's it's not like this is all for me
stupid I'm not fat why are you being so
mean to me of course are you [ __ ]
that's a Hedgehog you know from the
Sonic Underground that is [ __ ] holy
crap is that one of those helicopter
hats yesterday Hey look what I can do
watch closely now boys
mommy mommy where's the [ __ ] bathroom
I accidentally all her might knew that
God damn it son this is exactly why your
father left us because you keep doing
[ __ ] like this hey do you guys hear
something outside [ __ ] bus driver bob is
singing again these Doodlebops really
know how to piss me off yo guys they
have a crowd of at least 2,000 people
out there mm are you sure definitely
then our worst fears have been realized
we are to move quickly if the Sonic
Underground is to survive
Hedgehog what your tardes want can't you
see we are getting our groove on out
here well we just needed to ask you if
your bus driver Bob gets the money you
guys earn from concerts of course not
he's like just how herbage is that so
that's really strange because we saw him
with this huge sack of money earlier
what you've got to be wiping my ass are
you serious
it's true we even heard him saying that
he makes you eat ice cream off his butt
cheeks don't listen to him Rooney
they're lying to you bus driver Bob
would never but what if they aren't can
we really afford to not at least ask him
ourselves
let's go my siblings I think it's time
we pay Howard dear bus driver a visit
who the hell is opening my [ __ ]
bus without my permission oh it's just
you [ __ ] what the hell do you want
don't you have little boys to spy on or
some [ __ ] where's the money Bob don't
even think about lying to us what the
[ __ ] are you talking about Doodlebops
I just got done taking a [ __ ] [ __ ]
let's just say a fat little boy with a
mohawk told us a secret he said that he
saw you running off with all of the
money from tonight's gig I ain't telling
you [ __ ] doodle [ __ ] get out of my
bus we ain't getting out of here until
we get our [ __ ] money you fat piece
of [ __ ]
you think I'm scared of you [ __ ]
Doodlebops
don't forget that you work for me
without me you wouldn't even have a
[ __ ] bus driver
come on Supes let's drag this fat man
around back and teach him a lesson
you've got the camera ready to go you
bet your monster truck-sized butt cheeks
I do cool we're about to end this bands
whole career
I got to be honest with you Bob I've
been wanting to do this for a very long
time
bro are you sure we should really be
filming this shouldn't we stop them no
Manik
we need to film everything the world
needs to see the real Doodlebops ladies
and gentlemen boys and girls the show
and Desi's got lucky this time bus
driver Bob will deal with you after the
show
brynnie my bro what is it that you see
what do you think dumbass
it's the Hedgehogs they're filming
everything
[Music]
what the hell did you do bro you broke
the [ __ ] camera now we'll never beat
the Doodlebops oh my God
Sonic you fat [ __ ] why why did you do
this why how funny you actually thought
you could take us down [ __ ] we're the
Doodlebops
without that footage you won't be able
to prove [ __ ] better luck next time
Sonic Underground
thanks a lot bro you know I really
expect it better from you
come on gunky poops don't tell me you
underestimate your own bro that much
I've got the camera footage right here
no way bro you really have it but how I
thought the camera busted ha ha well I
can't spell all my secrets but let's
just say I shoved it up my ass
you
Master Bart levy please excuse me for
interrupting your interview on live TV
but we had just gotten a package in the
mail that came from your boyfriend Sonic
all that was in the package was this
small thing of film does it mean
anything to you master Bart levy oh you
receive the package from your [ __ ] if
you would like we can take a short
five-minute break a break will not be
necessary quickly I want you to take
this footage and air it on live TV right
now make sure that it is on every single
channel all around the world whatever
the hell is on this film I'm sure my
Beach wanted every single person on
earth to see it
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you
okay you [ __ ] get in there dinner
will be at 7:00 tonight you three are
really lucky you know that if I had it
my way
I would kill you but the laws won't
allow hope you like prison life [ __ ]
nice going Rooney I hope you understand
the mess you got Dustin you're one to
talk
if you caught that red kid we would have
gotten away with it gotten away with it
haha
typical Rooney all you think about is
sweet little boy yes well newsflash
[ __ ] I'm not about that life
my dream was to be the best drummer in
the world and now it's ruined thanks to
you [ __ ] I will rape your sorry ass can
you two please keep it down we are
trying to Sleet over here so you're
looking to fight hub that's fine by me I
will even [ __ ] you in the ass violence
is not the Jedi way
I implore you to stand down before you
get yourself into trouble what did you
say to me I'm a [ __ ] doodlebop [ __ ]
I'll destroy you
don't try it you're weak just like I
thought what makes you think you can
take on a Jedi thankfully for you
support a cuss and me are the good guys
so we won't kill you but that isn't to
say that others will be as kind good
guys Jedi I don't understand who are you
why are you here we are here on a secret
mission to meet up with someone my
apprentice Anakin Skywalker
I suggest you lay low you don't want to
be mixed in with us
hey master how's it going sorry I took
so long
Anakin where the hell were you when
tattooing or something hey I'm here
aren't I and I said I was sorry
get off my ass so non-diegetic need you
a blue watermelon apple Inglot Oh
finally me welcome abuja oh okay you two
let's go I parked my Jedi Starfighter
right outside wait please take us with
you you can't leave us here we must have
our revenge against the Sonic
Underground help us you you hate the
Sonic Underground now I know
[Music]
stuff to set once my battle woman I do
not approve of what could cry hunting
[Music]
and I can what did I just tell you what
you only said not to hurt those two you
said nothing about the third one
whatever it's not important now
we must hurry and go so soon
oh he ate our Ocwen to see hope you want
someone who will be a powerful weapon in
our upcoming battle he is young but when
it comes to science his skills are
second to none easy at sea Kenan his
name is hey said your mummy and daddy
said it's almost time for school we need
to get ready to go I'm not going to
school today Gerald just who are the
boys what are they after this is what I
must know why do they Harbor such a deep
hatred for Sonic Underground you're
going somewhere but I thought we were
going to have but sex I can't today
Gerald you go to school without me tell
the teacher in busy or that in taking a
huge ass dump on the toilet
said is this about the prophecy that you
dreamt about a week ago I can't tell you
anymore Gerald I already told you too
much if word got out that I told you
this you would become a target for the
enemy
don't worry about me it'll be back
before you know it do sexy boy
you