[Music]
I live from New York I'm sayin Asha
welcome to the show want to begin
without some breaking news out of Italy
all of Italy is now on lockdown of Italy
is now on lockdown
over the coronavirus Italy's Prime
Minister making the announcement a news
conference just minutes ago he said the
measure was taken in order to protect
the population especially
what's going to happen Bart levy will we
be alright of course I will be alright
but I'm the richest man on earth only
poor people like you are going to die
because here in America it costs too
much money for the average person to get
tested and protect themselves but don't
worry rich as long as I'm here nothing
bad will never happen to you so go to
Sleet and dream of pleasant dreams
knowing that you're safe big dream of
pleasant dreams
pleasant dreams yet I do that Bart levy
[Music]
man Sonic you were going so fast you
even rammed right into my ass a few
times for a minute there I thought you
were trying to rape me
instead of win the race hey what can I
say I need to give it my all if I'm
going to win the big race tomorrow
man I'm so sweaty especially round my
butt cheeks it's a shame that cars don't
have hands so I can't wipe all the sweat
off yet we really worked up quite the
sweat I'll get that for you Sonic
[Applause]
oh yeah that's the stuff so Lightning
McQueen wanna head back to my place
my boyfriend Bart levy just bought an
entire Chinese restaurant for dinner
damn a whole restaurant well I guess
that's nothing for the richest car in
Radiator Springs I would love to join
you lovebirds but I'm going to stay here
and practice a bit more
you got it lightning maybe some other
time then see you later
I gotta go poop and hey turn that frown
upside down some day you'll beat me in a
race
you
[Applause]
I can't wait for the big race tomorrow
Sonya do you think your brother Sonic
will really win I'm absolutely sure
Sonic is going to win the race
Sonic has been training with Knuckles
all week long every time I go to
Knuckles house to check up on them Sonic
looks tired as [ __ ] either Sonic and
Knuckles are secretly having car sex or
they have been training for this all
year
Sonic has got this race in the bag [ __ ]
s that lightning Nick [ __ ] doesn't
stand a chance
guys look
Sonic is pulling up in the driveway
let's go meet him
[Applause]
guys I got terrible news it's about it's
about Lightning McQueen I just got word
that Lightning McQueen got the
coronavirus his boyfriend mater told me
over the radio
oh my God that's horrible how did he get
it
I'm telling you mate or she's a cyclops
and she's gay she pulls over the main
characters on the side of the road and
tells them she has a girlfriend it's the
most progressive [ __ ] I've ever seen
that's not too progressive Lightning
Disney is a company who only acts left
they care about the LGBT community for
the sake of financial gain they don't
give a [ __ ] about people like you and me
what's with you mate or why have you
become such a downer lately you you've
changed
you're no longer that sexy tow truck
that I let bang my ass every hour of
every day what happened to you babe
what happened between us I'll tell you
what happened lightning I I got the
corona virus I'm going to dock tomorrow
no you're lying
we just had car sex and you didn't even
tell me yeah that's right and because I
just stubbed my toe in cable up your
disgusting smelly ass you have a to
[ __ ]
you