[Music]
[ __ ]
if it is not too much to ask may i
honorably request a precious moment of
your time please
of course is everything okay no
nothing is okay when you invited me down
here to the seasonal hiking expedition
i had thought that you only did so so
that we could laugh at all the poor
people
who find joy in walking through the
dirty wilderness and stepping over dried
poop
it simply did not cross my mind that we
were going to take part in such events
oh I'm sorry I suppose I should have
made it more clear
do you want to do something else today
no if this is what you want to do it's
good for me too
besides my butler dropped me off and
won't be back to pick me up until 4.
for this Manic I don't want to go on
some stupid hiking retreat
i wanna go to the mall and get some
avocado toast
my mom spent eight dollars in gas to
drive us down here you are gonna respect
that and do as I say like hell when you
said you take me on a date I thought you
meant a real one
call me next weekend when you start
behaving like a real man
you wanna see a real man I will show you
a real man
my Uncle Chuck said girls don't get to
say no to boys
so we're going hiking whether you like
it or not so get up
i said get up dad
can you take me home what for I think
this is a lovely place for a date
here in the arms of sweet mother nature
where beasts like us may run wild
yeah right anyone who likes hiking
retreats are total losers
like Sonic
no one wants to hear what you have to
say [ __ ] you're dressed like the banana
guy from curious George
hey now I don't appreciate the way
you're talking to my daughter yeah
well I don't appreciate the way you're
wearing pants so short
that I have to see your balls slap
against your hairy ass cheeks every time
you take a step
don't touch my goggles
i wouldn't touch those berries if I were
you
you might accidentally pick something
poisonous if you're not
careful what's that
my mom bought it for me at the last
school book fair
jealous much
[Music]
huh that's weird the forecast didn't say
it was going to rain today
oh well even if it does I doubt it would
end up really pouring
come on let's get ready for the hike
is there anything you want for the trail
before we set up
oh baby Charles
if you want the honey roasted peanuts
again you can
i got enough no way if the oblast emul
iria did not stay stinking but I thought
you like honey roasted nuts
that's why I always pick them up on my
way back from work
domingo in private if the obvious
emerald
area did not stain you thinking right
only hyper
nodes in terms did a millennial
or zuma tell you that you need to stop
picking fights with baby
but it's true so my honey from you to
recommend
meso okay well I'm not gay
so i'll just buy whatever
God I hate my life
[ __ ] did it have your money again
ah yeah I have eyes I can see it [ __ ]
stop it Aleena you can't who's really
clicking like that's where I take kiss
hey there a lot of people have been
having trouble with that vending machine
all morning maybe my son here can help
get you out what you need
if it got stuck he just got his green
belt in karate and he's been super
excited to show it off
would you mind letting him give it a few
whacks that's perfectly fine
what
don't touch my son
[Music]
peanuts
help is not for the weak either he will
lift the vending machine off himself or
he will die
what's the matter with you it's only
night
why are you so
don't
[Music]
is everyone's bags secured we'll be
parting off in about three minutes
so now is the time for some last minute
adjustments
hey I’ve been following you around all
day because you have a fat ass
i just wanted to say that I like your
coat
it's cute that you and your boyfriend
are matching
why thank you for noticing you're
welcome
yeah where did you get that Jacket i
know you didn't use my credit card
what happened to the one I brought for
you I threw it away mom
Bartleby doesn't want his pudgy boy
walking around and hand me downs
and if you want to know how I got this
expensive piece of ass
ask my sugar daddy all righty explorers
prep time's over gather round before we
enter the trail
i must inform you of the rules first off
no touching what is it on the path also
we don't fly solo around these parts
locate a buddy and stick with them that
way nobody will get lost
if you don't have one I will fill that
role preferably for those that have the
male gender and under the age of 10.
are there any precious lonely little
boys who doesn't have a body
oh gee what's the matter are you all
alone
wherever are your parents they dropped
me off
they never told me that there was a
buddy system
oh [ __ ] looks like I forgot to tell them
when they bought you a ticket
don't worry i'll take good care of you
i'll show you such a good time that when
your parents come back you'll want to
stay with me instead
whoa thanks sir
now if you would all look to your right
you will find many blueberries growing
on these bushes
we came at just the right time of the
year where the berries are perfectly
moist and thick
and juicy of course I know of somebody
here is also already acquainted with two
other round
blue objects isn't that right Bartleby
haha
look everybody look at Bartleby's
boyfriend Sonic is blushing
that's because the two round blue
objects I was referring to were is fat
butt cheeks
actually those aren't blueberries
growing on the bushes those are
raspberries
you can't tell because raspberries are
red I'm sorry you baloney colored [ __ ]
did I ask for your opinion I know the
difference between a blueberry and a
raspberry I haven't been a tour guide
for six years of my life for nothing
how have you been a tour guide for six
years if you don't know what a blueberry
is
Bartleby look a yellow tulip it's the
same color as your hair
wonderful how about you go pick it for
us my [ __ ]
hey stop that picking flowers on the
trail is strictly prohibited
hey don't Bell at my bitch he's only
having fun
bart let me look I got you this flower
do you like it
[Music]
[ __ ] do me a [ __ ] favor and look
down would you
tell me what you see with your fat
eyeballs
[Music]
i see your massive hairy balls no my
[ __ ]
i mean below my balls what else do you
see
[Music]
oh no oh my God Bartleby I'm so sorry
your expensive shoes
if you were really sorry you wouldn't
have done it
what are you waiting for do the job that
i keep you around for
and lick the dirt off my shoe
of yours fat boy
I'm getting hungry did the brochure for
this hiking trip mention anything about
lunch
do you want some of my trail mix yeah
i say already
did I just hear you correctly old man
are you seriously offering me a bag of
nuts for lunch
I'm a man man don't suck on salty nuts
that's [ __ ] gay
are you [ __ ] gay [ __ ] the little red
boy with sausages growing out of the
side of his head is
right Charles men do not eat nuts we
wear them proudly between our legs as a
trophy of our manhood
nor do they eat trail mix trail mixes
for little babies and Karens
honestly the fact that you have been
eating trail mix makes me want to punch
you in the face
man our hunters gather roars we find our
own food
and live off the land look at these
berries do you know why they're around
earth made them round to look like my
ball sack to show that
man will always be superior to women
hey a tour guide guy are they supposed
to be eating berries off the bushes
what absolutely not those bastards are
they still causing trouble
delicious perfect nature's candy a woman
could never appreciate its flavor
the way this berry just explodes when
you bite into it
it's as if another man's balls just
busted in your mouth coating it with his
[ __ ] pee
oh my God daddy are you okay
I'm okay baby girl daddy just took a
really manly [ __ ]
i think a little bit of blood came out
hey Sonic can I see the travel guide i
think it's in your backpack
yeah one sec let me just find it real
quick here it is Knux
Sonic this isn't the travel guy this is
Yu-Gi-Oh dao jinshi
my bad I’ve got the travel guide right
here
there it is wild berries of the west
written by betty derek and margaret
fuller
it looks like Mindy's dad just ate some
mistletoe which is extremely poisonous
everybody start packing or sit we're
moving up the trail
wait a minute we can't leave those
others behind we have to tell them we're
leaving listen here you little ginger
boy those three tarts have gotten on my
last nerves
drop your pants and get on your knees
no stop it stay away from me somebody
anybody
don't just stand there help me
now come on we're going I said we're
going
come on I said come on do you want
another spanky
[Music]
no we can't chase them I won't let you
leave them behind
wait a Mobius minute where did the rest
of the tour group go
you don't think they're already
available domingo
[ __ ] we had better catch up to them we
don't want to be stuck out here in the
forest
i hear rapists gather around here during
nightfall
it's all your fault we are lost out here
how is it my fault if anything it's your
fault not keeping your eyes open for
landmark like you were supposed to
that's enough boys we can make it
through this just
imagine we're in a forest biome from
minecraft we just need to find square
watermelons
all of this bickering is getting us
nowhere i'll take charge
wait right here we'll climb up to the
treetops and see if I can find
civilization
[Music]
Bartleby watch out
it's a good thing I was the one who
climbed up there had it been any of you
i doubt you would have survived that
fall
okay sorry let us make haste for that
cave over there it will provide a
shelter from the rain
mom I don't want to go in that cave what
if we run into a dangerous animal
like a grizzly bear or Jeffrey Epstein
I'm afraid that's just risk we're all
going to have to take
seems to be clear everyone get inside
and get commie
this is where we're staying for the
wow check it out are these gemstone so
pretty
I’ve never seen anything like it and to
think
we wouldn't have been able to see it if
we stayed on the tour
and followed the path hey bro
i got an idea why don't you go find a
nice big one for bartel b
yeah why not he likes diamonds and [ __ ]
maybe he'll even spank your big round
[Music]
butt
that's perfect i'll find one while he's
preoccupied
you look for one here I'm going to see
if I can find better ones deeper in the
cave
hey
hey Sonic are you hungry I got a whole
plate of chili dogs for you in the back
part of the cave
if you want some why don't you move over
here away from your friends
and we can eat some together I know
you're hungry
um no thanks my mom told me not to talk
to strangers
i gotta go wow your mom sounds like a
dumb ass
are you sure I’ve got a whole lot of
fortnites back here
i know you kids love that
[Music]
come here you big [ __ ] Sonic
run away Bartleby
bartelby what is it my [ __ ] what is
frightened you sir
tell daddy there's some scary man in the
cave I think he's trying to lure kids
over with candy and games
you mean Jeffrey Epstein is here
they are not jeffery fixed in get out
here and stop scaring my [ __ ]
what the hell kind of tour guide are you
you said it wasn't supposed to rain
during our hike
shut up all of you just shut up i
already said I'm sorry
i can't exactly hold on to this kid so
he doesn't run away
and keep my mind on my job at the same
time so if you need to blame any men
blame the kid here sony
money where are you wait you don't see
me familiar anyway
what's going on here
[ __ ] it looks like one of my little
[ __ ] managed to find their way back
to me
oh well not like it matters I flipped
the sign a little while back down the
trail
they were being so disrespectful to me
and my dog that I just had to get rid of
them
if any luck they're all probably lost
right now
or dead in a ditch somewhere I saw which
way your family went sir
please help me how many times do I have
to tell you to shut your [ __ ] mouth
you [ __ ] but i'll kill you no stop it
let me go I'm tired of being here a
[ __ ]
oh
stupid little kid I thought we had
something special
what do you really hate being spanked by
daddy that much
i don't remember ever saying i'd hated
it you nerdy little fan it
[ __ ] you naughty little [ __ ]
hurry old man I saw your family go that
way
there I think I see them over there in
mccain
ah you guys is that Uncle Chuck gets
your ass right
you are so worried about yo don't worry
about
us Uncle Chuck we had Bartleby here with
us in case anything bad happened
everybody look it stopped raining and
the sun is coming out
awesome then we can finally go home and
i can massage
Bartleby's feet but we still have a
problem
it's not raining anymore but we are
still lost without the trail
don't worry my friends because I have
left a way for us
to find art all the way back to the
trail
you see just before we started our hike
i ate a spicy bean and cheese burrito
and it gave me explosive diarrhea stinky
pulpy has been flipping out of my back
ever since we started walking through
the forest all we have to do is follow
the strong and rancid stench
and we'll be back home in no time
I’ve been loving everything
just drinking in your sunlight
in my eyes