[Music]
so
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life is harder than i like to think
but it's easy when you're by my side
no point in calling you'll just have to
see
the fundamentals
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my whole life been searching just to
find you just quantity
it hasn't got the right
did you say something no riding your
skateboard in the hallway this is the
last time i'm going to tell you sleet
yeah yeah you got it mr wilson
you're late against sleet next time it's
a write up
thanks for the heads up teach william
get out of my seat
your seat ahaha last i checked it didn't
belong to you anymore snot bag
what today is the first day of the
second semester
so i let the students choose where they
want to sit for the rest of the year
one of the perks of getting here on time
but this is my seat and the best seat in
the class
it's the one closest to the pencil
sharpener correction
it was your seat once [ __ ] but it's
mine now
okay well where am i supposed to sit
there aren't any more open seats
actually there's one far in the back
right over there
teacher you can't do this to me i can't
sit over there
why not because that's that's dingo
everybody hates dinko he always smells
like bush's baked beans
and he pooped his pants during social
studies last week
he always stands by the vending machine
to try and steal people's candy bars
hey james you want a [ __ ] candy bar
yes i could go for snickers
sorry did you say you wanted a snickers
or a milky way
give me that [ __ ] let go this is mine
i'll [ __ ] rape you [ __ ]
if i have to sit next to bingo i'll be a
laughingstock for the rest of the year
you should have thoughts about that
before coming to class late now go take
your seat before i write you up
hi what's your name my name is dingo
i'm sorry you had your seat stolen from
you but you really should have gotten
here earlier
if you wanted to keep it don't talk to
me until lunch
are you a planetary exchange student too
you look different from the other
students
are you also from mobius i heard a lot
of other mobians signed up for the
planetary exchange student program to
come to earth
but i never dreamed any of them would
have also chosen to come to this school
that's so cool hey can you teach me how
to skateboard
can you skate anywhere you want on that
fine piece of ass
like mcdonald's or to the store to buy a
kind of bushes baked beans
has anybody ever told you you got a fat
[ __ ] dumb truck ass
i mean [ __ ] [ __ ] you could fit a
lawnmower in that thing
why are you still talking to me you said
i could talk to you after lunch
i did did you really say that i don't
think so
william he is listening with a bow
i don't know but watch this however
then william just used to lisa in my
class
no you're going to break his stupid no
you're crazy today
you have some utility ups and starting
new creator upzomatic
he almost makes me wanna kiss you and
you will leave you will never
she's kidding me mr wilson had it coming
just like sleet sleet simobian and
mobians have no place on earth
william it's just basic nature the weak
should always fear the strong
and i am the strongest man in school i
never told anyone this oliver
so you have to keep it a secret but i'm
not really a 16 year old boy
like the rest of you i'm actually a 36
year old man
yeah what the [ __ ] was that
watch were you throwing this thing [ __ ]
you could have seriously hurt my best
friend
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[Applause]
[ __ ] i think i just pooped my [ __ ]
pants what are you waiting for fool
take me to the bathroom
oh hey william what do you want i
thought you always poop at exactly 5am
isn't it only two in the afternoon right
now wait i thought you always poop alone
what's going on here me and my buddy
oliver here saw that you became quick
friends with dingo
dingo is not my friend i just have to
sit next to him during class now
that's all but you were eating together
at lunch
and he saved you from being knocked out
by that ball during gym class
he's the one following me around i've
been trying to get him off my back all
day
why does oliver there have a baseball
bat don't you get it now sleet
you used to be one of the cool kids like
us but since you started hanging out
with dingo that title of yours is gone
you're pretty much on the level of a
[ __ ] now what
no i'm still one of the cool kids i'm
way cooler than you are william
and how the [ __ ] is oliver a cool kid he
just moved here from france two days ago
and he pooped his pants in social
studies on his first day
and make me cool [ __ ]
are you really going to make me ask
where this clown came from
there's no way he goes to this school
he's got to be 30 years old at least
this is my older brother dominic or as
he likes to be called due to the clown
i call myself doo doo because after i
kill somebody
i take a massive [ __ ] doodoo in their
mouth during the day he works
as a teacher's assistant over at the
elementary school but at night he's an
assassin who hunts down and kills
anybody i want gone
he was nice enough to come out during
the day though just for this occasion
you should be honored yeah [ __ ] okay
but why is he dressed like a clown
is it some weird fetish [ __ ] yes i
really need to get back to class i think
i hear the teacher calling for me
ah what's the rush cutie don't you wanna
have a little fun
[Applause]
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don't forget to break his legs big bro
that way he can't run away
and oliver go pull down has [ __ ]
pants i want to enjoy this
we please you
get away is enough a [ __ ]
you are going to go easy on you you're
going to already
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saved by the bell you are lucky i have a
math test to get to
this isn't oversleed we'll be meeting
you after school
and make sure to bring that [ __ ] dingo
with you so we can make this quick
come on boys let's make like a bunch of
bananas and peel out
sleet how was your pee break you didn't
miss the toilet did you
i do that a lot too don't talk to me
[ __ ] what am i gonna do william is a
black belt in karate there's no way i
can fight him
especially if oliver and his big brother
dude are also going to be there
but i can't just back out from a fight
then i really will be a total [ __ ]
i won't be the coolest kid in school
anymore either
sleet can i tell you something i just
said don't talk to me
but it's important fine what is it
promise not to laugh i can't promise
that
i just wanted to say thank you for being
my first friend
what you know the two of us are
different from everyone else in school
everybody here are earthlings so they
find us to be a little weird
i've been here for half a year already
and in that time i never made a single
friend
i was beginning to think it would never
happen but then one day you showed up
i think i was really lucky
oh yeah that's pretty cool i guess
do you want to hang out at my place
after school
um actually dingo i think i hear the
teacher calling my name
you can go without me you got it sugar
tits
don't keep me waiting too long
come here you big [ __ ]
those guys have got to be gone by now
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why are you still here
i was waiting for you to be finished did
you do what the teacher wanted
are you ready to go home
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this is my first time visiting another
person's house on earth
although dingo is another mobian like me
so i guess it doesn't really count
have you taken an interest in my beanie
baby collection
what the hell are you wearing all of a
sudden whatever do you mean
i told you i was going to slip into
something more
comfortable no you didn't you told me
you were going to take a [ __ ]
are you thirsty sleet not really
dinko put that away we're not old enough
to drink ha ha
that's right sometimes i forget
how can you forget your own age tell me
wolf boy
do you listen to music
[Music]
that's a pretty [ __ ] question
everybody listens to music
how about i put some on then only if
it's lincoln park or green day
i got you some linkin park right here
big boy
[Music]
well this really tickles my balls now i
gotta clean this [ __ ] up
don't go anywhere sleep
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sleet sleet where do you go
hey jimmy what do you want hey sleet can
i
ask you something uh sure i guess
so like is it is it true the rumor going
around school
what rumor oh just well
you know
jimmy i very clearly don't know what
you're talking about so just tell me
so is it true is dingo really [ __ ]
you in the ass
[Applause]
what the hell have you been telling
people you knocked down my yukio cards
answer me right now have you been
telling people you [ __ ] me
would that be a problem [ __ ] get out of
your seat you coward we're going to
fight
god this is just horrible i haven't been
this mad since you knocked over my milk
at lunch
sorry don't worry about it i don't
understand
why would you want to fight me aren't i
your best friend
what like hell i'm your best friend i'm
not even your friend
i barely know you you know what saying
stuff like that to me
i don't think i want to be your friend
anymore did you did you not listen to a
word i said
i literally just said we were never
friends shut up [ __ ]
i'm not your friend anymore don't talk
to me
stupid [ __ ] [ __ ] i wasted 165 bucks
on that bottle of wine
and you didn't even drink it [ __ ]
look speed and bingo are fighting
you really hit me good job sleet you
really showed him who's boss
yeah that was awesome seeing him run
away like a crybaby
you're the man
dinko
you guys again what have i ever done to
you let me go please
shut that hole under your [ __ ] nose
we're just getting started here
[Laughter]
get away from him
i said get away from my [ __ ] [ __ ]
[Applause]
stay back i i'm not afraid of you that's
fine
i'm not the one you should be afraid of
huh
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please have mercy on me silly little boy
to give mercy is to be weak and i am not
weak
no
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just so you know i would have been just
fine even if you hadn't shown up
[Music]
what are you watching same thing i watch
every friday
lingo showdown with bobby flay on the
food network
i made you a grilled cheese
[Music]
this just in the judge has officially
stated that the three-year-old baby
who shot up a school last week may have
actually been justified
in the attack it looks like bart will be
montclair of trust and will not receive
any jail time
much to the despair of the dead
children's parents
our reporter franklin is live just
outside the courthouse
mr bartleby is it true did you really
shoot up the school and kill your fellow
students
you're damn right i did and i do it
again don't you have any remorse for
what you did
you took those children's lives i don't
know you tell me [ __ ] get these cameras
out of my
holy [ __ ]
good evening citizens of planet mobius
it is i
your proud and chubby little boy your
ruler the evil doctor robotnik
yes kneel before my glory and sexiness
this [ __ ] sucks ever since this robot
nick guy has become the ruler of mobius
he's been hijacking the airwaves every
30 minutes
we can't watch anything today my [ __ ]
i am here to make a special announcement
and [ __ ]
i have thought long and hard about this
due to how great and powerful i have
recently become it has come to my
attention
that i will need protection that is to
say i am looking for personal bodyguards
did he just say bodyguards don't even
think about it dingo
or bounty hunters not bodyguards to be a
bodyguard is basically to be somebody's
[ __ ]
although i bet it would pay pretty good
what the hell is taking you so long for
this stupid picture up already
it can't be that difficult but sir isn't
the picture kind of gay nonsense it's a
cool picture
just for saying that i'm going to robot
oh size you
uh this is why i only work with robots
as you can see this fine specimen of a
man would be my ideal bodyguard
those muscles and beautiful hair and i
want two buddy guards
not just one two so that they can each
slap one of my butt cheeks i mean stand
on either side of me
if i were to ever be in danger
nothing would please me more than
standing between two muscular men
with their massive [ __ ] hairy balls
in my face
men who will fight and die for me let me
repeat that
one more time so i can make sure
everybody understands the job listing
nothing would please me more than
standing between two muscular men
with their massive [ __ ] hairy balls
in my face
i will now repeat what i just said for
the third and final time
nothing would please me more than
standing between two muscular men
with their massive [ __ ] hairy balls
in my face
is this really about bodyguards this
sounds more like a job listing for a gay
porno
bingo i think we've got a new job
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right
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messages i can't ignore it
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can't leave the house