here we are at the ugo world
championships where sonic the hedgehog
has his uncle jack on the road
the crowd is going wild
is he going to clinch the wind or does
uncle just have another trick up his
sleeve only time will tell
go dark magician mow down my enemies
with your mighty dark magic
the crowd is going wild
and just like that we have a winner
everybody give a round of applause for
the undefeated champion
for the fifth year in a row barnaby's
[ __ ]
is there no one who can stand before
this sexy boy
[Applause]
now hold it right there
i hear there is supposed to be someone
that's a better to list than either is
that true
you can bet you're smelly on y pass my
bro is the best dualist in the whole
world
so it is in that case sonic i challenge
you to a duel so i can beat your [ __ ]
ass
and what makes you think i'd agree to
that i just spent six hours in this
tournament why would i fight you when i
can go to mcdonald's for chicken nuggets
and a root beer
because if you don't i will use my dark
magic to send your soul to the shadow
realm
as the king of kings i can't just stand
by and let other people be winners that
turtle belongs to me alone
if you want to fight my bro then you'll
have to get through me first you've got
to work your way up kate
too long i demand to fight the champion
now so we shall make this attack duel
and because i'm so good it doesn't
matter if my partner sucks tristan get
over here before i whoop your ass
a tag duel against me and my bro hub
bring it i'll show you who the real king
of game really is
[Music]
so
[Music]
my move i start my turn by playing bay
to the magnet warrior in attack position
and that's not all i also play one card
face down
that will be the end of my turn a trap
card do you really think the almighty
king of games would fall for such a ploy
you expect me to attack your monster
head on but i won't you to calm down
it's not even your turn yet it's mine
be quite tristan because i'm the king of
games i want to know i demand to go
first to show my power over you
i draw
i don't want this card i'm drawing again
usually you can't do that that's against
the rules
you [ __ ]
i draw three cards
what shall the king of games do first
what card will assure my victory the
quickest so i can go and suck on
chambers fat juicy balls
i summon the giant soldier of stone in
defense mode
try getting past that [ __ ]
sonic there's no ring i'm getting past
this guy with my one thousand seven
hundred attack toilets you have to use
an equipped card on me or something
just hold on in the meantime wait to the
magnet warrior i'll think of something
well you better think fast because i
only want to beat this like a grave
between that guy's giant great but
cheeks
sweet movie you really put them on the
road with that one
the one whose head looks like grass make
you move so i can end this pathetic
match we'll see who's the one talking
when this duel is over
draw
hey bro you wouldn't mind me using one
of your cards right
oh come on you hurt my feelings just
having to ask you know we share
everything besides this is a tag duel
what's mine is yours
in that case i will use the spell card
exchange this will let me exchange cards
with my bro
damn bro those are some mighty good
cards and is that even a hollow super
rare i see there
but you know i think i'll take this one
i may be able to put some use to it here
look at that those hedgehogs are working
together and they're frequently in sync
why can't we be like that ug
because our decks are like our
friendship tristan they have no
compatibility with one another they have
no chemistry yours is a bland deck with
no more than weak mortal monsters
meanwhile my deck is full of powerful
monsters traps and spells
like the egyptian god cards or the
celtic cording
i am not blind tristan you are wearing a
jacket the same color as khaki pants and
your hair goes into a point you look
like a number two pencil
all right let's start the real show put
on your sunglasses because i play the
swords of revealing light
[Music]
soldier of stone
don't let those swords around you or you
are finished
[Music]
you're not going nowhere i'm taking
here's out right here
[Music]
and lend him a hand
[Music]
it doesn't matter what you try or my
defenses are way too powerful even for
you
not if i activate my face down
no stop defense
this will switch you to attack mode
whether you like it or not
i activate the sword of dark destruction
to give my monster an extra 400 attack
points
but that card only powers up dark
monsters the giant soldier of stone is a
rock attribute
the heart of the cards tells me you are
wrong and also gay
oh
i suppose that means it's my turn now
all right i'll use i think i'll go with
oh nuts i've never done this before
tristan
hurry that fed us up
we don't got all day we don't
i'm trying don't yell at me
shut your pothole you damn fool
you got your hand over the card on your
right
just play that one
but ug i don't even know what that card
does
that's what you sound like
you know what just to make you mad i'm
playing the card on the left tristan
stop
i saw in dark hole in attack mode
yuffie what happened where did your
monster go
you [ __ ]
my turn
the king of games draws one card
i summon the celtic guardian attack move
and i also summon the dark magician
protect me my old friend
this isn't good bro if yuki keeps
cheating like this there's no way we can
win yuki you can't do that the rules for
dual monsters state that you can only
normal sum in one monster per
shut up tristan i'm trying to
concentrate on the duel and you're
making me mad don't make me come over
there and show my millennium puzzle up
urs again go kill tick guardian attack
tristan's life points directly
yes that's it run away tristan run for
your pathetic little life but too bad
the kill tick guardian is faster
thera stop you have to stop this leave
my friend alone
[Music]
what have i told you about trying to
control me eugene you know the rules
doing duels this body and everything and
it belongs to me including you now
fought for me fart for me yuki if you
fart for me i'll go easy on your friend
tristan but you have to fart for me
right now
whoa that one was really stinky
oh yeah that feels nice i love the
vibrations on my wrist this is why i
keep you around you key i truly am
nothing without my other half but i lied
to you beauty i won't actually go easy
on tristan i'll make him suffer for
talking back to the king of kings such
as the way of the duelist no fear i'll
stop
tilted guardian attack
beauty what are you doing we have the
same life points don't you remember
whatever damage i take you take as well
do i look like i am concerned about that
tristan i am the king of games losing a
mere 1400 life points is not going to
[ __ ] me in this
now i play the fusion spell card
polymerization
by fusing my dark magician and my kill
tick guarding i can make the strongest
part in my deck
[Music]
said she killed tick guardian
any little boys under the age of 10
better run when this elf is in town he
will stick anyone's balls for five life
points sexy kill tick guardian attack
sonic's life points directly
you activated my trap card
mirror force
do you really think you're safe behind
this wall little boy nothing will stop
me from raping your fat little ass
you are not fully aware of what mirror
force does are you it doesn't just
negate your attack
no it also destroys the attacking
monster
draw
hey bro mind if i borrow one of your
cards go ahead big blue what's mine is
yours first of all i will play the spell
card monster reborn
to bring yuki's dark magician back from
the grave then using polymerization i
will choose dark magician with bubble
man who is in my bros hand to make the
fusion monster
sexy bubble man
i will stick anyone's balls for five
dollars
sexy double man attack
yuki you should get out of the way that
bubble looks like it's going to be
awfully stinky it's okay tristan i'm
into that [ __ ]
[Music]
now that that's done i will use the
spell card diffusion to defuse sexy
double man
with dark magician and the original
bubble man on my side of the field i end
my turn my turn i will draw a card
i summon ki maze number two in attack
position
teenage number two attack science dark
magician
tristan what the hell do you think
you're doing can't you see the dark
magician has more attack points than
your monster
dark magician dark magic attack
[Applause]
goddammit tristan if you are going to do
alongside me you should at least learn
the rules of the game this is why i have
butt sex with senocamba instead of you
at least he can give me a challenge
wait yuki what did you just say
i said this is why i do [ __ ] okay bye
instead of you at least he can give me a
challenge
it's your turn bro make the final move
those two only have 300 life points left
you know what no i'm going again it's my
turn
you can't do that that's cheating it's
my bro's turn which i've been cheating
this entire goddamn time you really
expect me to play fair when i'm getting
my speed i play the spell card change of
heart
it allows me to take one monster on my
opponent's side of the field come back
to me my dark magician
[Music]
dark magician
don't go
[Music]
welcome back to me my old friend it was
all through the heart of the cards that
you would be my path to victory in this
duel
i'm sorry sonic i can't disobey him just
as you are the bookstore barnaby mike's
lair of dresden i am the [ __ ] of the
king of games the only difference is i'm
not gay so it sucks balls
[Music]
see you in hell fat boy
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
it's sonic's game lover the richest and
sexiest man of love bartleby montclair
of dresden
bartleby my lover
you and me pharaoh one-on-one unless
you're a poopy baby [ __ ]
[Music]
i'll let you make the first move you'll
need it very well i'm going to be too
faster than russia invaded ukraine
i draw one car
[Music]
as you can see this dual is over for i
have already drawn all five pieces of
the puzzle
[Music]
the unstoppable
[Music]
here take this the tournament first
plays trophy but i didn't win
it's true that you didn't win the match
but you fought a good game and tried
your best
if you ask me that's what makes someone
a real winner
besides dual monsters is about having
fun i don't need a trophy because
memories are forever
sonic i i don't know what to say thank
you your boyfriend barbie truly is the
king of games
where the hell do you think you're going
with that price you [ __ ] fake it the
prize belongs to eugene give it to right
now before we pull down those gins of
yours and [ __ ] it right in the butt
give me my trophy it doesn't matter what
sonic says
only what bardoby says matters and he
didn't say [ __ ]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
he starts sweep one thing i don't know
why it doesn't even matter how hard to
try keep that in mind i design design to
spend a new time oh line no time is a
viable thing watch your fella as the
pendulum swings while she gone down to
the end of the day the gloves knees like
away
no
no watch it and go right out of the
window china all done but didn't even
know i wouldn't stand it up just to
watch you go i get everything inside