foreign
honey can we break for lunch I'm tired
shut up [ __ ] you got donuts on your
head just eat those
for the hundredth time they're not
Donuts they're earmuffs
well I wish they were Donuts because
then there would at least be a good
reason to keep you around
this is getting ridiculous why don't we
just contact foster care and ask if they
had seen him the worst they can do is
say no
why don't you get it men don't ask for
help lady
as the man of the house I need to
establish absolute dominance over the
Dominion that is my household
but marshmallow we've have been looking
for our son for 11 years
and in that time we only knocked on four
houses because you're so damn lazy
and two of those times nobody answered
the door
well damage it ain't like I don't get
other [ __ ] to do
at least I'm trying
but you're not
I'll tell you what sweet sugar pie
regardless of whoever answers this door
I say we pull a Jeffrey Epstein on their
ass and grab the first child we see
I'm worried what if Sonic grew up to be
you know different
you're going to have to be a little more
specific than that [ __ ] I had four Dr
Peppers this morning
well what if he has different views like
what if he believes Epstein really did
kill himself
we already went through this sugar bun
the ccdvs that were pointing on him at
the time of his death was erased due to
technical errors nobody actually
believes he killed himself
can one of you kids go get that while I
finish up the dishes
he they're little Sunny there wouldn't
happen to be a brat named Sonic living
here but there he's got blue fur and he
has a big butt
he looked like this as a [ __ ] baby if
that will help
um can I ask who you are exactly nope
why won't you answer my question
you're not hiding something from me are
you son you know I can't smell a wire
and you have that stench all over you
I think you have the wrong house I'm
going inside now
you're not getting off that easy it's
time for tougher interrogations or what
I like to call
[ __ ] your tight little ass
manic what did I say about yelling in
the
what the hell is going on in here
mom why is there a grown man chasing our
brother around the living room without
any pants again
if my memory serves me correctly I'm
afraid those two are Sonic's parents
don't have a [ __ ] clue why they're
trying to rape manic though
what but you're our mom
dear look that round kid
I [ __ ] knew it what did I tell you
[ __ ]
oh I'm so happy we are finally going to
be a family again
hell yeah [ __ ] we're going to be
whole like a butthole up in this piece
of ass
I'm so happy I might just poop
thank God I pulled down my pants
so I pooped on the floor instead
[ __ ] hell you two let go of my kid
right this instant before I have you
rested
as if you can stupid what Sonic the
Hedgehog doesn't belong to you anymore
or did you forget
God you still have those
that's right those are the adoption
papers that you left in his stupid baby
basket
but but these aren't
not fair I was being hunted down by
assassins
I didn't have a choice surely now that
it's safe exactly but you gave him away
imagine how that must make him feel fate
let him to our doorstep
and now we've returned for him just like
how he was left on our doorstep that
fateful night
we have come to his and bring him home
where he rightfully belongs
you guys have a house is it big bigger
than this one
hell yeah with three bathrooms so you
can poop out of your fat butt damn that
sounds awesome is it close by
oh goodness no dear we live in Canada
Canada you think you can just walk into
my home and take my son our son your son
and move away to Canada
yep
well I did all I could do kids go say
bye to your bro
what are you saying Mama go over there
and snatch him yet don't you own us
woman
I mean technically
the day the evil Doctor Robotnik took
over our kingdom I was told by the
Ancients here that I had to separate you
kids for some reason
obviously I couldn't leave you homeless
you had to go somewhere
Sonic was left at the door of those two
folk right there
honey there's a kid outside
ah is he lost how old is he
it's a dumb baby should I just toss it
in the dumpster
good gracious no bring him inside where
it's warm you're right we can probably
sell it on the side of the road and buy
some apple and cinnamon oatmeal
cause he was stolen before the lady
answered the door
you didn't even wait for them to answer
the door before leaving me out in the
cold
damn [ __ ] I think I should kick your
ass
go on and try it see what happens when
you [ __ ] with me
now now if we fight about this it's
going to make it harder on Sonic when we
leave for Canada
why don't we all settle down and discuss
this over Dr Pepper and pancakes
trust me you'll never find maple syrup
this good here in the states
it's as though a Canadian and broken to
your house and pooped in a bottle of
Angel sparkly tears dad is Canada cool
oh you're going to love it we've got
hockey and we got maple syrup
what else
we've got hockey and we got maple syrup
by the way you stink when was the last
time you took a bubble bath
our brother doesn't take baths he's
afraid of weather
Sonic is this true you mean you've been
sitting on my lap for 20 minutes with
your unclean rear if I move you will I
find poop stains on the ball sack
Village in my skinny jeans
probably
here's the deal you go clean your ass
right now and I'll heat you up some
chili dogs
deal
wait a minute Sonic actually does stuff
you just have to bribe him
why sure he does all kids are the same
around his age
no wonder our bro is so fat you got him
hooked on chili dogs since he was a baby
so old sport what you do in Canada
I'm so glad you asked
we are in the maple syrup business
we do that thing where we tie buckets to
trees and wait for it to be then we
bottle it up and sell it so people can
pour it on their succulent pancakes
that's actually why we came looking for
him harvest season is coming up and it's
always good to have extra hands to work
the land
I won't allow it you are not taking my
son my son your son just to work him to
death that boy cries in the morning
cause he's too fat to roll over and turn
off the alarm clock you're going to kill
him can't you just buy some child slaves
or something
that was the original plan but now we
don't have to this will save us seven
dollars but don't you fret
when we take him to Canada he can eat
all the maple syrup he wants
and he will be let out of the basement
for two hours a day as long as he
behaves
Dad I'm ready
your bags are all packed good go wait
out front with your adoptive mother
Sonic you're really going with them what
about the Sonic Underground
the Sonic Underground is dead my own bro
maybe if you play better I would have
taken you with me
oh well at the very least you and me can
still be a band Sonia
ah no that's okay
don't make that face baby bro you can
have my laptop just don't delete my
bardonic fanfics on it or bartelby might
come to the house and murder you
and I can eat RB Caribs without you
stealing them from me
laughs
well that's that if you want to say your
goodbyes Now's the Time boy
I'm still not sure about this do I
really have to go
if you don't want that to lean a [ __ ]
to go to jail for kidnapping then yet
whoa whoa whoa who the [ __ ] are you
supposed to be
look if you are taking my beach I gotta
come too
we kind of like a package deal
you mean like a hot dog package that
comes with two extra buns cool
you know I would have expected him to
put up more of a fight
who cares I get my own room now
so long [ __ ]
damn this lava lap Uncle Chuck got from
the flea market as God dang the Chen
and to think Sonic would never let me
put it up because it was green instead
of blue
what do you say to that now bro have you
finally eaten your own words
[Music]
you guys are going to [ __ ] love
Canada with its Perpetual winter when we
get back home the first thing I'm going
to do before throwing you down in the
basement is make you both the whole play
of Flapjacks do you hear that [ __ ] do
you love flag Jacks maybe we can go ice
skating afterwards at some point when
we're allowed out of the basement
oh no you'll be in the basement first
for at least three weeks
we have to get you used to the lifestyle
after all that's quite fun as long as we
are together I don't mind where I am
actually you'll both be chained up on up
as hens of the room with the noise
canceling wall put between you that way
all you can think about is harvesting
maple syrup
I miss my brother
you know I used to have a brother
you did what happened to him
sure did haven't heard from him in a
while
because we had a bit of a falling out
how so
I never told anyone this but I came from
a pretty wealthy family
well Wealthy by mobian standards at
least one day I met my honey bunch
and suffice to say it was love at first
sight right
got that right [ __ ] I couldn't help but
spend every penny on her
oh honey you know I never cared about
your money
shut up [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm trying to tell a
story
last time I heard he went to the emerald
Peninsula to recoup the cost by
capturing a mythical creature like
Bigfoot or the guy on the Lucky Charms
box so you chose mum over your family's
money that's so sweet
hang on I'm sitting in a poor person's
car
[Music]
[Applause]
bark Levy are you feeling okay my love
tie your shoes blueberry boy they're
going home to your middle class family
marshmallow they're going to get away
don't let them cross back over the
American Border
already on it woman it's a good thing we
hid this hunting rifle between your
massive badonkadonks
hurry and tie this around your plump
belly Beach
ouch
let's go
foreign
[Music]
the Sonic Underground is together again
I'm so sorry you guys the thought of
leaving you should have never crossed my
mind
will you ever forgive me
oh how could I stay mad at you big blue
what matters is that you did come back
he's right but it's not about what you
did but what you didn't do
now I'm going to spank your ass