foreign
the new Montclair virtual reality system
is plugged in and ready for testing once
more
very good at Oswald very good news
indeed I am so glad my dad gave me a
small loan of a million dollars so I
could make a game of Minecraft to play
in turn it on at once please so I may
jump back into it immediately forgive me
and my hesitation sir but don't you
think you are diving in a little bit too
much
I fear that it may be so fun you might
end up late for your appointment with
your tubby [ __ ]
nonsense me and my boyfriend anniversary
is still ours away I need to make sure
it's ready so he can experience the
street to its fullest I've been dropping
hints all month about this and he's
ecstatic
to deny him his wishes now would be an
injustice beyond measure
very well master I will begin the
program just send word if anything goes
wrong
with my life you have been working with
the Montclair family for two generations
now the exploits of the Montclair family
couldn't be in more capable hands
initiation transfer now
data
loading entering datascape
now
what a treat for the eyes it's like I'm
really in a desert by home and Minecraft
I can even feel the wind on my cheeks
and I don't mean my face
since this world is under my control I'm
allowed to give myself pantsless chaps
how sexy my [ __ ] is surely going to
love this
brilliant
bottleby the system is looking stable
you have successfully entered the
virtual world oh oh my I didn't expect
you to enter the biome with your bare
ass and balls out
no need to worry about that Oswald we're
both guys here
and you always tell me your straight
anyway
straight right haha straight as a
[ __ ] pickle
now what was it that you wanted to share
with me
oh right I have to head down to the
kitchen to make sure the beef wellington
will be done in time for dinner do you
think you will be fine on your own in
this virtual realm without my guidance
is the earth flat
what a dainty little thing what should I
do with you first shall I take you into
a German Apple bite or shall I wait
until my [ __ ] goes up so I can Nestle
you deep in his butthole so many options
the virtual realm is a wonderful place
indeed
by the heavens where did that Arrow come
flying in from
that's strange neither Oswald nor Ice
Pond mobs into this version of the game
yet
if an arrow was fired it could only mean
someone besides me logged into the
server but the only way someone could do
that is if they had a password and all
passwords are safeguarded by the
montclair's employees
perhaps it was just a glitch in the
system I'll have to talk with my butler
about that upon his return I might have
to spank him
in the meantime I believe I'll go build
a quaint little house over there by that
mysterious Terrain
uh-huh it almost looks like a penis
I don't get it somebody must have hacked
my game was it one of those Indian call
scammers
foreign
goodness it's half past three already
[ __ ] you came I was oh you you brought
your friends on our anniversary date no
lit
we heard you were going to show our
brother something cool we wanna see it
too
no no Dairy blue what did pawpaw tell
you about secrets
I'm sorry Beefcake I tried to talk them
out of coming but they just wouldn't
leave it alone
oh that's all right I do love spending
time with your family and friends
you do yeah you look like I want to beat
your ass for leaking out top secret
montclaw family technology to your
stupid friends
go Oswald my [ __ ] with the fat asses
here come say hello
wow your bit is huge I can see why my
master has taken a liking to your
delicious little pound cake
haha Sonic is embarrassed because
someone called him out on his massive
butt
don't make that a speech we all know you
love showing it up why else would you
walk about but naked with your flabby
ass hanging down to your ankles
by the way sir may I take the afternoon
off
why you're supposed to work 24 hours
straight seven days a week but isn't
yes I know but you see my father sent me
a letter and his cancer has progressed
to the next stage the doctor said he'll
pass sometime this week I wish to be by
his side when that moment comes
if only your dad spent as much time
beating cancer as I do beating my own
mother very well you are dismissed but
in her new Arthur were crisis hide
or else you will be put back in the
attic with the other seven battles I
have fired
and you won't be getting paid anymore
either
so where's this new reality taxonic wood
and shut up about oh my God don't you
ever stop talking that's literally the
second thing I said today you lot showed
up here uninvited you have no ground to
stand on when it comes to making demands
in my Mansion it should be fine
can we go in now pretty please
now that's quite unfair my love using
those great big puppy dog guys on me how
can I say no to such a [ __ ] little
face
I'll write in my home skillet G biscuits
follow me into a brand new world
oh my God I don't believe it we're
actually in the world of Minecraft
haha this is so exciting I've never been
in a virtual world before
I'm going to prove to the world right
here right now that [ __ ] can be Gamers
too I wasn't sure if the virtual reality
helmet would work on plastic
so what should we do first
okay dudes last one the fine diamonds
has to live in a house made of dirt
come on Sonic let's go ain't no way this
guy's showing us up
come on Mindy let's go pick some flowers
to decorate the biome since we're
females
don't touch me
mendia look out there's a creeper behind
your ass oh my God
Oh no you're down to just two hearts we
have to find some food if you want to
live aha you stupid [ __ ] turns out
[ __ ] can't play video games after all
did you say hey creeper is in the game
mobs aren't supposed to be here yet
what do you mean bartlebby did something
happen
someone appears to have tampered with
the game listen up beach and girls
whatever you do don't you dare run out
of lives if my assumption is correct it
could also spell your certain Doom in
the real world as well
you're kidding but mannequin Knuckles
are already gone
they could be anywhere by now we have to
find them before they get themselves
blown up or worse
yo check its Knuckles gold we can bling
ourselves out
[ __ ] that [ __ ] [ __ ] it's either
diamonds or nothing
I'm not settling for berate garbage
hey speaking of diamonds looks like we
just hit the motherload
oh yeah now that's what I'm talking
about baby
but it's surrounded by [ __ ] lava how
in the goddamn are we going to get to it
man this is Minecraft let's just make a
[ __ ] fridge and go get that [ __ ]
laughs
watch my fat butt don't want any of
those cute little baby zombies touching
me inappropriately
while I make my way over The Lava pool
manic watch out we aren't alone in here
manic no no it can't be you will pay for
this damn you
chip I can't hit him he's too fast maybe
because he's so tiny and cute
hurry Knuckles pull me out use a water
bucket anything
book obsidian I'll just use the flint
and steel I found earlier to make a
portal to the nether
great idea nux let's do it to it
[Music]
aha fool you think you're safer in the
nether your little bean sprouts I'll
find you I'll have both of your meaty
tight little [ __ ] in mind grasp soon
enough wait for me little boys I'll find
another portal and track you down
there that will be the last time we'll
be seeing that [ __ ] Jesus manic why is
your health so low
what about it oh I'm down to two hearts
well that [ __ ] happens
but I'll respawn back at full if I die
should I just jump in the lava pool and
kill myself now
haha manic why are you like this you're
such a psycho
I'm starting to see why your username on
Facebook is crazy basiliskboy69.
come on let's see if we can find The
Fortress in this [ __ ]
do you see anything [ __ ] shut up
oh
oh yeah [ __ ] I see something all right
Sonic I'm scared do you think Knuckles
and Mana car you know
yeah your brother manik is dead I guess
I'll stop dating Chester from down the
street
don't even think about it Sis but
remember that it's manicon and not one
of us so Mom won't be as disappointed
come on let's go see if they're over
there by the river don't tell me what to
do [ __ ] [ __ ]
don't nobody move a muscle there's a
cute baby zombie over there
why aren't you wearing armor we have to
be careful our targets can build and
dismantle walls and ceilings that will
as though they were using god-given
Magic
I tried turning the Lana into obsidian
with a water bucket but all that's
turning into a stone you [ __ ] lie to
me you said it was easy to make another
portal but it's not you know what
happens to Liars around here we dropped
them from high places after raping them
so I'm going to stick my stinky balls
inside a butt and then your mouth and
then I am going to take you to a
mountain where you will meet your end
was it a still of the source Beauty it
needs to be a non-moving water source or
it won't work are you really this much
of a noob okay I didn't know that ever
mind I won't rate you sorry for saying
that it's okay I hope they've dropped
some fat loot when we ripped their hips
clean off their bodies I just hope one
has a fat butt
did you guys hear that
I don't like the sound of this my little
green bean casserole is in trouble we
haven't time to lose it is apparent that
we reach the nether post taste huh why
the nether
weren't you paying attention to a thing
they said Sonic
no I'm gay
oh well those little zombie midgets said
they needed obsidian so that would mean
they probably want to get to the nether
right
I guess
you see girls can't be good at Minecraft
too no
why is it just me or does this game feel
so much harder in virtual reality
maybe we should look for supplies to
craft a map so we can figure out a way
out of here
manic everyone knows people who use maps
in Minecraft are mentally ill-fat Hearts
now grow a pair and slap down the portal
this ought to be far enough away that
the cute zombie man won't find us portal
I thought you had it I was in charge of
the food
why did you think I was lugging around
all these potatoes
potatoes that's like the worst source of
healing in the history of Minecraft
you should be collecting golden apples
not [ __ ] potatoes
if we are spotted by a guest we as good
as dead at this rate
don't got to worry about that Nooks
looks like our old pal just got here
hahaha
well dang today must be my lucky day
when I get my Indian hands on you I'm
going to make you two [ __ ] each other
while I filmed a perfect present for my
boyfriend he's really into yeah he you
know
Knuckles hurry let's dig the tunnel if
we're lucky he won't find us digging
under the ground
[ __ ] you Knuckles the cool Echidna
doesn't run from any fight
he creates chaos even when it's the
least optimal solution at hand like
black people when police tell them to
freeze
damn Knuckles you're badass
oh [ __ ] you got him
please I I was only kidding I wasn't
really going to hurt you it's just a
prank bro
prank you try to rape Us in the ass
you're right I did and you taught me the
error of my ways forgive me forgive this
man just this once and I promise never
to hurt anyone again you have to believe
me I'm begging you please don't let me
die like a [ __ ]
we will help you
manic no we can't he's a [ __ ] we're
heroes Knuckles we fight for the greater
good
if we let him fall we would be no
different than the evil Dr Robotnik
manic don't be a [ __ ]
robots it's happening again what do I do
tell them to stop it
but the last time I said that to an
Indian man over the phone he said he
would send a whole swarm of cops to our
house and murder my whole family
they're so clever they already got
twelve hundred dollars from us in
Walmart gift cards then we can only pray
to God that they don't want more
hey Robotnik this is manic can I ask you
a question
oh manic it's just you you almost gave
me a heart attack
why have you called the top secret
headquarters of the evil Doctor Robotnik
I was just wondering if a stranger was
trying to hold that thought I got to
open a window it's getting really stinky
you may proceed
if a stranger was trying to rape you and
about to fall off a cliff would you let
them die
I would most certainly not
wait are you saying you would save their
life but wouldn't that mean you would be
doing good
well no actually manic you already
clarified to me the man is a rapist
therefore bad
so by letting him live you are
indirectly adding to his evil Deeds
when he goes on to rape even more
victims
you're quiet did you expect another
answer by chance
um I'll call you back later
I did a lot of thinking throughout my
life as a super villain manic I hope
with whatever situation you are finding
yourself in right now that you make a
decision you are comfortable with now
wipe my ass
oh that wasn't directed to humanik you
know unless you want it to ha ha
you know what I'm going to wing it take
my hand I'll help you up but only on one
condition
you have to become our friend
gosh Mister truly you would really have
me I guess all I have to say to that is
so long [ __ ] eating being sprouts oh no
Manic the Hedgehog from the hit Saturday
morning TV show Sonic Underground is
about to meet his end
This Is How It Ends somehow I knew it
would end like this but I am satisfied
for I was able to take one with me to
hell
oh
what I see now a fire resistance potion
how clever it seems I've been outplayed
from the very beginning good game then
your little being sprouts
oh
where the hell have you guys been we've
been looking all over for you
I'm impressed you were able to get to
the nether so quickly you must really be
Minecraft's veterans
we ran into some trouble with a zombie
but it's cool
we were able to trick him and do falling
into a lake of molten lava
well just shut up I'm just glad you're
both safe now I won't have to go to
prison for kidnapping is that what you
think foolish children manic is that the
zombie that was after your fat ass
goodness he's so hot
you son of a [ __ ] you almost forgot me
you didn't think you were the only ones
with a fire resistance quotient did you
yes yeah what did I say I was going to
do [ __ ] that carried green ass of your
belongs in the palm of my sweaty hands a
fire resistance potion but I thought
modern supposed to be able to group
oceans now they understand I used so
much money making this game since I'm
rich
in this game is able to act with
human-like autonomy if we don't put a
stop to him now he just may transfer
over to the real world and then she will
be able to stop him
in that case let me handle this
dumbass one hit from him and yours is
class leave this to the big boys
you may have Survivor fall into lava but
can you survive a fall from this height
indeed you could if you had a potion of
slow falling in your inventory but from
the look on your face I doubt you'd do
please have mercy
and why should I grant that [ __ ] you
see green boy
because like I see now what I did was
wrong and you taught me the error of my
ways forgive me forgive this man just
this once and I promise never to hurt
anyone again
you're just saying that
I mean it you have to believe me I'm
begging you please don't let me die like
a [ __ ]
no you like going to fall and go plat on
the ground like a water balloon filled
with chili which will cause you be
killed until you die to death please no
I'll do anything just don't kill him
don't kill my lover
wait you're gay
we lick each other's [ __ ]
I get it now you guys weren't evil at
all course not today is our anniversary
we've been together for four beautiful
years we've never wanted to actually
hurt you
well I'll be damned me and my because
doing the very same today it's a small
world
we don't give a [ __ ]
yo this doesn't make sense why did you
go after me and manic in the cave-in
simple really diamonds are so rare to
come across well you two were going to
take the last one I was planning on
music to propose to my lover oh darling
we've talked about this I don't need a
ring your love and a bag of fun yums is
the only treasure for me
you still tried to rape my ass
I saw you'd ruling back there in the
darkness eyeing my body up and down like
I was a porn star
well why aren't you wearing any pants
when you're walking around with cheeks
like that you're pretty much asking for
you 34.
yeah I would like for you to have it
instead
for me but why I'm just a zombie
because seeing the love utusha it really
touches me where I live
wow I I don't really know what to say
yes you do go on now say what you've
been waiting to say all these years
babe every waking moment when you have
been the best moments of my life nothing
would make me a happier song be than to
have your hand in marriage I know there
will be some who this is hungry because
we are both boys babe will you be my one
and only My One True Love
zombie I don't know how to say this I um
I've been seeing a villager what did you
say [ __ ] every night after you go to
bed I've been sneaking down to the
Village to get why ass Roberts by the
villagers down there he really knows how
to party and [ __ ] unlike you who only
wants the fun
[Music]
not if I kill you first
[Music]
thanks for taking me out today bartelby
this has been the best anniversary ever
my love for you you ought to know by now
how much you did a cardinal B you gave
your [ __ ] Sonic the Hedgehog the best
anniversary gift of all time the world
would be a better place if we were more
like you
[Music]
lead the way for us
I'll be there for you if you should meet
me
you don't have to change
[Music]
cause Nothing's Gonna Change
[Music]