foreign
[ __ ] it make it four and throw in some
of those honey sticks
a orange Renaissance festival's just the
greatest Mama I'm so glad to see you
enjoying yourself it's like we're really
medieval royalty
no Sonia on the contrary I'm not having
much fun I'm a queen that's been reduced
to a fraud and cheek garments from
Goodwill
[Music]
cheer her up girl just don't tell her
she looks like an eggplant
I think you look pretty mama you remind
me of an eggplant damn it
thanks [ __ ] don't let your mom's
acrimonious negotiations deter you from
the excitement of overpriced corn on the
cobs okay we're going to walk around now
stay away from petofiles
come on Subs let's go find Uncle Chuck
[ __ ] didn't you hear what your mother
just said
bro look that guy over there doesn't
look like a human do you think he's a
mobian too
call up that's no ordinary mobian that's
[ __ ] Titus who the [ __ ] is Titus he
looks gay and that makes me mad
he's a scam artist from Mobius
one time he tried to trick people
pretending that he created a
d-reboticizer
but luckily we were able to thwart his
evil schemes only thanks to bartlebby
surely sounds like somebody needs the SB
greetings friends can I by chance
interest you in some of my Wares
cut the act man we know why you're
really here now box up your fake [ __ ]
and leave
oh Sonic you little [ __ ] you can't make
me leave not while there is money to be
made
that's the bomb that Robotnik found from
mobile pinchu you stole that
yeah and next to it you're selling the
Chaos Emerald for three dollars and 17
cents
how in the world did you get this it was
lost forever after the floating island
fell from the sky
no no it cannot be Say It Isn't So you
monster
curse you you demon from the hottest
hell
[Music]
you open them down so I can rape his
butt I'm gonna show him what happens
when you steal someone's chicken salad
sandwich
[ __ ] you
[Music]
I think the island is falling we have to
get off this island before it hits the
sea
if I'm going out then I'm getting some
ass first
toothpicky though we don't have time for
this I'll rape you too [ __ ]
[Music]
oh my boy I'm so glad you are safe
after what is happening to our love at
18 patch of land
what do you think you read [ __ ] someone
has stolen the Chaos Emerald we have to
get off the Smith trap before it hits
all right
is this how
[Applause]
apple look it's my best friend
don't focus on their Knuckles we have to
worry about our own asses first
people seem to be grouping up over there
maybe they found a way off this island
or their [ __ ]
[ __ ] these [ __ ] actions only brought
us to the ledge
it's no use couples we're going to have
to jump
are you dense old man those are
shark-infested Waters
they will eat us up like succulent Souls
3 sticks
we must hurry at the raid we are falling
the island will hit the ocean in only 17
days
get out of my way [ __ ]
look he's actually going to jump is he
crazy someone grab him
[Music]
let's go everyone to Freedom
[Applause]
everyone look out there's sharks in the
water
oh God the sharks are already swarming
them
it must because we are all shades of red
like blood
I don't believe my eyes wickedness are
going extinct and all we can do is stand
here and watch like little [ __ ]
who could have done this
[Laughter]
gosh darn it I forgot we have a hot air
balloon field exactly for moments like
this
guess we release at the bed with this
one come on Knox
[Music]
we'll have air you and I are the last
two wickedness in all of existence
seems like it on the bright side though
it means a whole lot less stolen TVs
what do you mean by that
well you see despite making up only 13
of mobius's population
98 of crimes are done by echidnas
I'm sorry knuckles
that explains why the floating island
the home of the Echidna sunken to the
moby and see on a random Thursday [ __ ]
you Titus you foul piece of poop I'm
going to tell the cops
too bad for you since I sold all of my
export I'm a billionaire
and everyone in America knows that laws
don't matter to rich people
hey this is my underwear
no it's not you dirty [ __ ] that is mine
good gracious that's my pendant from the
emerald Peninsula that the Hedgehogs
lost by using it to unclog a toilet
what Incarnation that's the tractor from
my backyard
and this is my hoverboard I always keep
this under my bed at home
seems like you got some explaining to do
Mr
[Applause]
[Music]
Titus how could you did you learn
nothing from selling innocent people to
the evil Dr Robotnik in the past
you still willingly choose a life of
crime have you truly no shame
well now let me think about it
hub
Trevor look I see some of those handsome
gnome statues like from the garden
section of Kmart
Noms you say take me to them they've
oh mama I will never understand why they
always make gnomes look so sexy
I know right hey I'll give you eight
dollars right now if you fondle the big
ones balls are you crazy what if it's
some old gizzer only pretending to be a
gnome
that would only make it better
damn you know what you're right yellow
boy
hey Cyrus help a brother out which one
should I sexually assault first
how about the one with a mustache like
the one wearing The Kilt over there
I'm not an omu stupid kids I'm a viking
a Viking Warrior
can't you tell by my battle ax I bought
off of demu for 80 off
shut up you're again home
stop it stop calling me a gnome why is
everyone calling me that today
just because I'm short and fat like
Sonic the Hedgehog's Uncle Chuck
it's not my fault that the black people
working at the waffle house next door to
my home make really good mac and cheese
and grits
looked Cyrus the beach ball is crying
ah did we hurt the poor Vikings feelings
what kind of Viking sobs like a girl
foreign
[Music]
what's he doing oh [ __ ] he's grabbing a
weapon
huh this is the police hands up now okay
now listen here Mister you are going to
do everything I tell you to do
or else I swear to God that I will bust
a nut I mean a bullet in your ass
do you hear me or do I got to repeat
myself
can you repeat that I will not
and what are you going to do to me if I
don't comply
since you're white I'll give you 18 more
chances and then taser you and then I'll
give you a couple more chances and if
you still don't comply I'll give you a
harsh warning
you do indeed drive a hard bargain sir
for that I Surrender
wait here I'm going to get a final cake
but for booking you down at the station
fat stuff
don't you dare try to run where I'm
calling 9-1-1 and telling everyone if
that home is on the loose
foreign
they were the only kids I mean hello
oh those two boys aren't the reason why
I'm getting arrested
I farted on a baby a moment ago because
he called me a dwarf
the cops have been tailing me for like
20 minutes I could have gone home and
escaped capture but I was just having so
much fun here
where everyone doesn't look at me like a
villain but what I really am
just an obese Ginger with diabetes
that's not so bad
thanks I'm glad you understand I don't
know why they're making such a big deal
about it hey while the cops are
preoccupied can I have a bite of that
turkey leg
it's so Smoky and delicious I'm going to
miss this while I spend the next 50
years of my life Behind Bars
Subway then we
you you remove my handcuffs
because
deserve it that's it
wow Charles if I wasn't a super villain
that usually wears a red leotard and
Black Panties with a red cap and
shoulder pads I would thank you
for a hedgehog maybe you're one of the
good ones I always had that idea about
you because you also had good enough
taste to grow a mustache
how about we go watch the jousting
competition together
[ __ ] do you see what I see bro why is
Uncle Chuck hanging out with Dr Robotnik
you don't think he's being brainwashed
do you
oh a kiss
Robotnik I challenge you to adjust and
if I win then you have to let my uncle
go
wait Tony this is
oh yeah well if I win you have to buy me
eight dozen turkey legs and since we're
battling let's use the eugeo battle City
Rules where we have to offer something
okay fine
if I win I get your robot making factory
so I can shut it down once and for all
if I win I get your brother manix hair
gel
[Music]
gather round Lords and Ladies to Bear
Witnesses Champion sir Sonic Hedgehog
takes on the Mad dwarf King sir Robotnik
of the Eastern Hood who is defending the
honor of his known boyfriend
stop it I am not a dwarf also you are
being super homophobic even though I'm
not gay
these two Champions well what can I say
about them except that they must have
led an unfortunate life judging by their
rotund appearance
alas we couldn't exactly if the
challengers battled on Horseback since
they are so heavy they would likely kill
the horses but fear not for they will be
handed to trusty states of modern
invention
pushed skiers that we bought from Teen
who.com
[Music]
hey you can't buy from teenmood.com they
are Chinese service that uses slave
labor shut up
this my beloved if you miss a man that
Lodge you deserve to lose
now go out there and win your uncle back
I'll be watching from the side with your
family
oh
are you want to Domingo this Robotnik
it's not too late
and pass up upon the opportunity to
destroy my arch nemesis in front of a
live audience I would be a fool to quit
now
oh and you remember how I said I farted
in that baby's face
yeah
it wasn't a fart
[Applause]
all right
and just like that folks our Champions
Sonic weighs the White Flag he
surrendered he lost no he failed us
betrayed us Saul
what happens now
because you surrendered you will be
taken to the Gallows and beheaded in
front of the whole Fair guard for
punishment
what but I thought this was role play
congratulations
no Sonic's Uncle this isn't the victory
I dreamed of
though it pains me to admit he and I
share very special connection
to let him be killed by another's hand
would be a rather unfavorable outcome
Sonic and my destiny will not end like
this
yeah
what's in the black box
power that I've been holding back power
that if I use it will change me forever
in short a costume that I made when I
was 12 years old
back when I thought I would grow up to
be a superhero instead of a super
villain
after I turned evil I vowed I would
never were it even after 10 000 years
but here I am calling on its power after
only 57.
Sonic the Hedgehog now that you heard
the charges against you do you
understand why you must die
yes but why are you doing this
why do you kill
because my daddy never helped me even
when I was a baby
so the only warmth I receive is the
blood of the guilty you live your way
and I'll live mine
Bart Levy aren't you going to go up
there and on chain our brother
note it's as I always say play stupid
games Win stupid prizes so you're just
going to sit there and watch as my twin
brother gets beheaded by a random guy
stop it stop talking to me let me eat my
popcorn
you with the sock on your head I command
you to halt your attack at once
where is that voice coming from Who
Dares Angelina the criminal's execution
it is I
where I don't see you
hold on I'm still coming down
who are you
ha ha were you he says
I am the Divine Warrior sent by the holy
deities to rescue you
foreign
I can't reach him in time I better get
out of here before I make myself look
bad
I don't believe this the Divine Warrior
is actually running away
he's leaving my brother at the hands of
the enemy
I sprained my ankle somebody help me
come help the Divine Warrior
sorry Sonic if only I didn't try to run
away like a coward just now
we wouldn't be in this massive pickle
it's cool Divine Warrior the fact that
you came for me at all is enough to show
me that you are indeed a true bona fide
hero
if you knew the truth about me you
wouldn't be saying those words
she caught his mask show us the divorce
base
please I beg of you leave this mask on I
don't want him to see my face I don't
give a [ __ ]
in fact since it's that important to you
I want to take it off even more now
for straight get him Divine Warrior win
this day
hey
[Music]
I'm free I'm free everybody
thank you so much Divine Warrior
[Applause]
remember Daddy
do you remember what you said to me all
those years ago
your hair looks like a [ __ ] peanut
well Dad it seems like you were wrong
about me after all your baby boy could
become a hero
I'm going to celebrate at Applebee's
[Music]
[Applause]
thank you
open your eyes not your mouth bud
foreign
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
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