[Music]
him over
here thanks again for letting me do this
BBY never in my wildest dreams would I
have thought you would let me house it
one of your $300 million manins bonic is
so cool I love BX Sonic it's my favorite
ship yeah I know here have some sparing
soda I imported from Indonesia I dipped
a cherry in it so it stinks like La Croy
well here comes my goldplated helicopter
that I won in a European bidding war
I'll be back in a few days with some
exotic fruits after my work is done at
Area 51 if you get hungry there's some
weenies in the fridge that you can does
in the
microwave come on in everybody make
yourselves at
home
so what do you [ __ ] think of my new
house my daddy helped me pick it out
after we went to the food bank for free
potatoes and Mar roach and ramen packets
this doesn't add up my brothers just
last week Mindy told me she only made $6
after prostituting for 3
months haha you said tooting that's a
funny word because that's the sound a
butt makes when people squeak a fart out
their
butt
um what what do you think guys you
haven't congratulated me on my success I
must say Indie you plagiarized Bartle be
style quite well
plagiarized you will forgive my
preconceived notions but I did not
expect you to share the love for Bartle
be's favorite foyer wall color maroon
number c
32148 I guess BBY and I just have
similar T in our Decor perhaps so where
the [ __ ] are your Butlers rich people
are supposed to have Butlers greet them
at the door Bartleby tells me that
having ownership over another living
being is what truly defines superiority
come on bro stop trying to debunk my
girlfriend's success she probably sucked
at truckload of balls to nail this kind
of yeah bro not everyone owns another
person like Bart leby laid claim to your
ass okay okay maybe I am being a bit to
hard on her I guess I'm just a little
sad because Bartle be went on a trip to
study down UFO in New Mexico New Mexico
what happened to the old one usually he
asks me to house sit for him when he's
away do you guys think that he's grown
bored of
me have I become nothing but a burden to
him no way big blue don't even think of
such things that's right it's not like
he's ignoring you on purpose he's
probably busy fighting
aliens then why didn't he let me know
why must he keep me in the dark oh great
now he's crying someone go fetch him a
bottle of warm milk don't talk about me
like I'm a baby but bro you pee in the
bed all the time face it bro you're just
a fat
baby where's the bathroom Sonic quit I
have a strong desire to wipe away my
tears and powder my nose in Cas Bart
till be gets back
early oh my mistake these appear to be
the maid's
quarters hey wait Aus minute these are
all size
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx XL I'm the only one in
town that wears size
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx XL my mes are all fat
they're all in the hospital dying of
diabetes a second ago you told us they
were on break what is the truth manicure
my boyfriend I can't believe you're
taking his side typical of a [ __ ]
trying to pick Bros against bro is the
sple be [ __ ] house oh be sure I don't
have to take this let's go we're going
to the next
[Music]
room go Indie I cannot believe you have
done
this what are you watching there there's
this really ugly [ __ ] named m l and
he's the sweetheart of the drummer in
the Sonic Underground band I told her
she could take care of my expensive
house while I was away but she's
spreading lies to all of my friends and
telling them that it's
hers damn that sucks do you want an
olive on your grilled cheese yes you may
give me an
olive damn my balls are itchy well go
ahead and scratch them then my good sir
we're both guys here ahaha you're
right would you like a TR pickle
toothpick umbrella with your great wine
too if you would be so kind good because
I came prepared with just the perfect
color blue just like your lover golly
you know my Bach Bartleby this is first
class on the Spirit
Airlines is it really so surprising that
you would run into a bonic fan in a
place filled with successful people
bonic is [ __ ]
cool take me to the down alien
spacecraft I need to see if the little
green men are awake so I can buy patches
of land on their extraterrestrial home
world and here you can see that Trevor
what are you doing in bartab I mean my
house I sent Bartleby an email asking
for a job I knew he would say no if I
used my own name so I used Sonics
instead I got the message saying I was
hired luckily I showed up late so bleby
was already gone to go fight aliens wait
if bleby hired you then why are you here
cleaning mind's Windows well since he
already hired me he technically can't
fire me until tomorrow when he gets back
I'm sort of hanging out here cuz I got
nothing better to
do Trevor may I bother you for a moment
sure thing sugar
buns look Trevor I'm lying to Sonic
Manic and Sonia so they think this place
is my home I kind of picked that up
already let me guess you want me to do
you a solid and cover your ass would you
please I had to bleby never hired me I
actually broke in trying to murder him
out of jealousy because he was born so
extremely handsome when I noticed he
wasn't here I panicked and started
cleaning the windows instead then why
are you wearing a Victorian made outfit
you can come out now Cyrus our cover is
blown damn
it it's a fetish thing for him I don't
like it but I care so deeply for him
that I power through it if you keep our
secret that we're fat gets we'll keep
yours
okay bro stop bothering the lemon head
he's busy increasing his finances I have
to gunky poops if I don't get to the
bottom of this who
[Music]
will sorry [ __ ] can't talk right now
I'm repairing a down UFO and I'm trying
to get a te born
again [ __ ] the aliens woke up got a
bounce [ __ ] hey aliens you can suck my
ass
[ __ ] and then when I woke up I was
upside down seriously my whole bed just
flipped completely upside down while I
was laying in it damn you need to like
call an exist or something your room
sounds haunted as
[ __ ] lady Mindy the Oriental ship the
Master of the House hired has just
arrived shall I prepare the table for
brunch I mean I
guess French cruising perfect this
should prove once and for all if mind is
really accustomed to the wealthy LIF
French etiquette is easy the spoon on
the far right is dedicated for Supan
Chows next to that is the salad knife
paralleling the salad fork on the left
working your way in are there utensils
for eating fish and the centermost knife
is specifically designed for meat and
that's not even counting the dessert
spoon up top well Indie I can't imagine
anything that puts more pressure on you
than this little
scenario oh should Tas stick she grabbed
her spoon right after I grabbed mine is
she really mimicking what I do because I
myself no French
etiquette what sort of Fool Am I have I
given away all the clues did I act to
soon I'm making every gay person around
the world look so
bad Trevor look it's one of those
Oriental chefs that throw food in your
mouth I [ __ ] love those guys OMG are
you that world famous Iron Chef masah
haror Oto from the Food Network no I'm
just another Asian guy now who wants to
have a go first how about you you're fat
which means you must really like food
well sometimes I do get tacos from door
Dash oh you don't have to beat around
the bush with me tuby this ain't my
first rodo but this will be my first
time throwing food into the mouth of
someone so sexy now open wide for my fat
[Music]
load
oh [ __ ] he's doing it again this is
crazy haha beuty you've been throwing
food into the guy's mouths for 28
minutes when are you going to feed one
of us girls oh I'm not really into that
kind of thing what's that mean no you
wouldn't even
know this dinner has been simply Divine
I really must call my lover and share
this moment with
him
not a good time Beach I've been chosen
as the ambassador of planet Earth and I
am in the middle of preventing an alien
in Asian by having a shootout with the
alien
king unless whatever you're about to say
will persuade these [ __ ] from
destroying the human race I'm going to
have to hang
out why are you ignoring me well why are
you whining like a little beach does the
poopy baby need his dat changed BBY they
got Bobby fle Bobby fle like from the
Food Network I'm coming
Bobby I can't lie to you Sonic this is
one of B's Mansions Mindy is just trying
to pass it off as her own to look cool
Trevor how could you you trat her your
first mistake was ever thinking you
could put your trust in gay man he's
right you
know the Messiah has
returned but you're back already
that is right this was all a test for
you Indie and I'm sad to say that you
failed me but why would you do this B
mon clear of drin I thought about it and
one day it dawned on me one day I will
marry my [ __ ] and you are dating my
bitch's brother so someday we might
unfortunately be related I'm sure you
understand being the time part of the
montcla household I have to be aware of
my inner
circle but don't you worry since I am
rich I'm used to people using me for my
money so I already expected you to be a
[ __ ] a [ __ ] and a gold digger I'm not a
[ __ ] then why are you not wearing a
shirt all of a
sudden Bart leby I think Mindy was
acting like this was her house [ __ ] did
you just like Z out 2 minutes
ago daddy you remember how I told you I
won the lottery and got a million doll
Mansion not really
well I lied it was actually Bartel be go
upstairs you're grounded
forever why hello there Bart Levy mon
Clara Dresden what do you mean you're
bulldozing my house with your
biceps whatever my daughter did to you
I'm so so sorry I can make up for it
just don't destroy my [ __ ]
house I'm afraid I already have the de
Mr later this land is mine now you have
two hours to get everything out or you
will be flattened like a Jimmy Dean
breakfast
[Laughter]
sausage sorry for the long wait and what
can we do for you two today I need to
take out a loan because the richest man
on earth bought the patch of land at my
house was on and won't give it back well
let me see what I can do for you you big
loaf of Sweetman and a
bread oh my it says here that you've
been taking $10,000 loans every month
for the past 3 years no I haven't I've
only been taking $8,000 loans each month
to use at the strip club to put money in
[ __ ] dirty butt cheeks where in the
world could the extra $2,000 be
going
daddy did you know floral has been
taking out loans to fund her failing
Bakery no but now we have Bartleby to
thank for helping us find this out what
a great [ __ ] guy that man is we
selling that Bakery for no less than $8
poor Flora to think Mindy's dad traded
her shop to a homeless guy behind the
Ali's department store for $2 well it's
Bart's fault if he didn't put mind's
entire family into bankruptcy this
wouldn't be happening it doesn't matter
who's at fault what's important now is
that we be there for the Lors in their
time of
grief and all of those sweet puffed
pastries sitting on the shelves never to
be sold o Bartleby you might have to
carry me home in a wheelbarrow Flora
it's the Sonic Underground your dad sent
us over to evict
you oh hello you guys I'm just packing
my things since my life is basically
over you don't look so good if you
you're feeling sick we can come in and
help no it's fine thank you but it's
fine just go away it's cool we ain't got
anything to do at the moment and more
importantly do you have any fresh
desserts you are willing to par with
quite we can relocate them to a good
home in my bitch's
belly
poor Flora I knew losing the bakery
would be hard for her to
stomach but I didn't expect her to faint
like that there has to be more to the
picture something we're not
seeing fortunately it's pretty common
you see our mom died when we were really
young and she never really recovered
from it she's been latching onto her
mother's dream of owning a cake shop
that's why she runs a bake shop because
it's what your mom wanted no she just
really likes the smell of pre-made box
cake mix for some reason so I told her
to buy a bakery as a joke and she
actually did it since she's stupid
haven't you ever asked her what she
wanted to do maybe she doesn't want to
be a baker who gives a [ __ ] she got
herself into this mess anyway on the
contrary there is but one person here
who is at fault as well you for buying
my house that person is human for some
time now I felt that both you and your
sister may be feeding into each other's
more worrying habits what what do you
mean we're nothing alike that's exactly
my point Flor is not even true and you
are a [ __ ] like two forces that repel
one another you push each other in the
opposite direction Mindy is to blame for
all this damn straight you too you were
the one who bought the bit shop in the
first place it is well and good to want
to support your daughter but constantly
feeding into a child's desires will only
achieve the opposite effect there ought
to be limits especially when money is
involved with you agree Bartley by
buying my [ __ ] house you taught me so
much Daddy is Flora going to be okay I
don't know exactly what she's feeling at
this very moment but what I do know is
that we are family even if we are poor
as [ __ ] [ __ ] I'm going to dig around
in the papy dumpster for
dinner what hang inis oh eight a
strawberry Jell-O Paget I bet that was
good I haven't tried it yet haha that
explains why there's still jellow in it
Flora I just wanted to say that I'm
sorry for causing you to lose your
bakery I know how much that place meant
to
you I'll water under the bridge then is
that all no I spoke with Dad outside I
think we should take this time to talk
you know about us yeah I don't really
feel like it why not we aren't right for
each other as friends much less sisters
we only bring each other Misfortune like
you did to me today you even brought
your friends here to laugh at me in a
sorry State well maybe I wouldn't have
to be here at all if you want secretly
taking loans do you know me and Daddy
will have to live in a tent on the side
of the road now and when I get out of
the hospital where am I going to stay
daddy says you can stay with
us it may tarnish my image but if you
want I I'm
talking it may tarnish my image to the
church if I was caught Sheltering with
one who partakes in premarital
sex oh really so you think you're higher
on the totem pole Than Me Now oh Mindy
the last thing I would ever want is to
make you feel like you had to be as good
as me I know that's
impossible somebody stop her she's
damaging a National
Treasure do doctor m is attacking Flora
because Flora made her look dumb it's
true I let her talk I don't know what's
happening that I'm confused and really
scared don't you see this is why we're
not a right it it always ends like this
so that's it then nothing else to say
but gee these past 17 years were fun
while it lasted but so long no it wasn't
fun but it's over starting today and
it's for the best bye-bye
hi Daddy hi M what's for dinner today
suck [ __ ] pull up a trash back for a
seat we're reaching some beans beans
again suddenly I'm not so hungry Daddy
I'm not either father the only substance
that fuels me now is my unrattled hatred
for my two sisters that flushed all our
money away
damn I love unseasoned beans it's thanks
to bartelby that I can eat unseasoned
[Music]
[Applause]
beans I'll face myself to cross out
would I
be change
myself and let go of what I
[Music]
done
[Applause]
[Music]
what you thought of
me while I clean this l with the hands
of
uncertainty so let Mercy
come and
wash
away what I
done I'll face myself to out what I
[Music]
be