It's time for an update vlog
I've been holding out on you. I've been waiting
to do this cuz i thought *gibberish* a year review
Was in good time for the holidays
to do... ummmm it's been quite
the year i don't know if you notice *christian snicker*
ahhh it's probably been the most insane year of my life
uhhh literally so many things
got completely switched up side down
uhhh lost a lot of friends
lost alot of uh uh alot of things
but i'm looking back on 2017 and it doesn't feel
negative (positive pewds) doesn't feel like a necessarily bad thing
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
and i will try and explain
WHY... At around this time last year i made a video saying
that i was gonna delete my channel at 50 million
but we're at 58 million now btw thenk u
bery much *sexy christian giggle*
i know you're gonna think i'm joking right now
(stfu you won't do it) but i'm gonna delete my channel
(sad music) i swear to you at 50 million subs
when we hit 50 million
huge landmark coming up
HUGE deal.. not.. never
been done before no one's even close
I aM dELetING MA ChaNNel... *snicker* so dramatic (yeah pewds stfu you aint doing shit)
fuc- (swisstian channel)-in asshole
IM GONNA DELETE MA CHANNEL AT 60 MILLION GUYS
I PROMISE (WOH LIZARD EYES) IT'S DEFINITELY GOING TO HAPPEN
ummmm... that was sort of a joke
but at the same time
i didn't feel like that was necessarily the case... i really felt like
i wanted to delete my channel :( uhhhh
because i was so stuck in between
all these business side of youtube
you didnt see
a fraction of it but
for me to do youtube every single day... upload daily
videos.... st.. still be going on trips
for all these different events... uuhhhh
going on trip for business stuff... uhhh... having calls
every single day talking about
y'know revel mode and things i was working on
and working on scare pewdiepie being away for
a month i was sooo burned out
and i know boohoo me right (it's okay pewds) i put myself in that
situation but i realize this is not waaahh
i'm stuck here and this is not what i want
i just wanna make videos... well ... i ... what the hell..
happened... i literally went through like
an actual mental breakdown *sad giggle* (dont be ashamed pewds)
it just got too much for me and i think i have
a really strong mental psyche like
i can handle more shit than
most people... i feel confident saying that
but it really got to me at that point and i'm not trying
around *fake crying* that's not the case
so when all the stuff happened in february
when all the stuff about me being
nazi came out... some things of it were awful
the fact that scare pewdiepie season 2 got cancelled
just sucked... i dont... and
in retrospect... it doesn't.. it still doesn't make sense to me
so many people worked on that show... it's.. it's
it's really... it's a shame for everyone who are involved
and i'm really sorry for everyone involved... uhhh...
but it also got me out of all these things
that i didn't even enjoy working on at the time
i was so fed up with it... so
it was sort of a blessing in disguise... and... and this year in general
the main thing through out all these bad things happening
i regained so much support
from you guys :)
and it's something i never thought i would get back
i sort of give up on the idea that my fans
really gonna have this sense of community again
and
you know for all these bad things to trade that
I would take it... it's just been amazing
THEN the adpocalypse happened
OOOOHH BBBOOYYY
and i vowed to go family friendly
*snicker snicker* thAt wOrkeD OuT GReAt
didn't it... to be honest when the adpocalypse happened
i did get hit really hard... it was the time of panick
cuz all of a sudden none of your videos are... you're not getting any
income... with the wall street stuff happening
My CPM which is my average income thing
dropped because i was kicked out of
youtube... eehhh... what is it called
their special ad program or whatevur
then i realised hey
i can literally put one extra mid roll in the video
and it doesn't make any difference... like i dont actually lose anything
and uuhh so i started doing that as a way to like
y'know what F you wall street you're
not gonna make me go down y'know
it's not that i need the money... it was more like uuhh
i wanna show them that this is not gonna affect me in anyway
incase you're wondering why there's a mid roll there you go
*cute giggle* umm at the end of the day
i used to have an office... i used to have a bunch of people working for me
uuuhhhhhh... but i also realised
i didnt want that... i used to have like a secretary helping me
get coffee and like i dont really feel comfortable
letting other people do stuff for me... it
really wasn't what i wanted at all... so i just
panicked... i got super sick
like the worst sickness of my life and i decided
that hey i can just record from this place
it's so much more convenient... i dont have to have
other people n the other room when i record... this is how
i started making videos in this room and
that's how i wanna keep it simple... i would always
say like oh uh
youtube is the best because you get just me
and it's not me and a producer and a writer but had all these people
helping me do all these
stuff... and it really felt like i was getting
against what i
was so spoken about before
so i got really sick and then these jake paul stuff
came out and it was like the best... that was like
the best thing... that could... that could happen
because i had something to just make a video of
right away when i was away
which is always nice
and this when i decide i'm gonna grow a beard
is keemstar tryna roast ma beard... i made a video
called "tired of trying"
where i basically talked that i really used to be
focused on trends
i used to be very focused on like how well a video did
and that would take up alot of my mind space... i think
most youtubers think like that... i realise i dont want
i wouldn't wanna shape my channel that way... i wanna do
what i wanna do... i wanna make the kind of videos
i enjoy making and uh
that has been my mindset for the past couple months
and it turned out so much better
y'know whether it's me
talking about something that i enjoy like whiskey
that for me has been really fun... i've been enjoying
just sharing stuff that i like
and think you guys have as well and it's been really fun to
and it's such a better way of making videos
maybe it doesn't get as many views but it's more fun
i would rather watch someone talk about
stuff that they like... than fuckin play a game they dont really
enjoy... i started doing this
LWIAY videos where i react to
your reddit stuff and that was just the best idea ever
i know it just meme it's not original content
and *snickers* or whatever but..
it really came back the
the sort of community on the chanel
uhhh seeing your humour and my humour
sort of collide into different types of memes
it's so cool and so fun and uhh
i love it so much... i love that
i love that we have a community on this chanel... rather than just
me doing random bullshit playing
random games
i'm really proud of that... i'm really proud that
we are at this point where we are
really thanks to everyone for posting in these
started doing you laugh you lose... which was also
the kind of thing people didn't really like in the beginning... they were like
you're just looking at other people's clips are you RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON
(Not so christian pewds)
I enjoyed it.... i enjoyed making them
they were fun i love laughing at these stupid
clips so why shouldn't i make them and i'm really glad i kept doing them
cuz i think you guys actually really like them too
... aww man and
i started streaming cuz i was really into
pub g? and i dont think... i... before i was
so preoccupied with youtube i had literally no other
interest... it was youtube or nothing
that was all that was in my head 24/7
so i allowed myself to enjoy other things and actually
playing games again on my spare time that's why enjoy streaming so much
this is the day before
the slip up
awkward laugh hahahaha
gasp
then the slip up happened and uhhh
definitely... y'know... once a year
not even worth... once every ten years
like twice a year... you fuckin idiot
uhhh
this time it was sort of different... i felt
personally responsible... if elt like y'know
this is my fault
i shouldn't even
i shouldn't even defend this and uhh
that's what i did i'm ahh i'm really glad
for all the support i still got eventhough
i clearly fucked up... i'm glad people accepted my apology
uhh and i was able to move
past it... i really started making videos that just
about stuff that fascinated me like Chris Chan
and uhh or just talking about memes
ItS nOt ORiGiNaL cOonTenT.... yes i know
but... i love talkign about these things
i love sharing these things and i think it's so much
more interesting hearing someone talk about they're interested in
and that's just been my approach
would i ever make a fuckin star wars review
2016... HELL NO... but did i really have alot
thoughts about the movie i wanted to share
uehehh... YES and that's why i did it... i think it such a
better approach... and i'm so happy i stuck with it
so much has changed this year but at the end of the
year... i am so much happier (awwww)... i'm so glad i'm
here... finally internet is
gonna be installed on the 22nd maybe that has happened
already... even me just keeping my fukin beard
cuz this is the kind of thing that everyone in the comments
will tell you JUST SHAVE JUST SHAVE but i'm like well i like
the beard... i'm gonna keep it... it's really
i know it sounds stupid but i really think i
i'm really proud of myself for gaining alot of confidence
in my self... uh to resist what other people
say i should do or how other people
tell me how to do things. It's so easy to
listen to the comments. I think everyone does.
UUUMMMM
But uhhhh
I think at the end of the day people will
appreciate that you are you and not just a product
of what other people want you to be
that sounded a lot deeper than I meant it to be
I'm also just really grateful that I can keep making videos at this point
You look at anyone else that has been number 1 on youtube
and it's practically a dead chanel
They didn't last very long. So for me at this point
to still be relevant enough that people care
what I say and what I do and click on my videos
that really means the world to me because I still very much enjoy
videos. I get so many "haters" saying
like "Oh iF I WaS peWdiPie I Wuld Just quiT
mAkinG viDeoS he AlReadY mADe miLLioNS, WWhAT an IdiOt"
MAYBE I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT IT, MAYBE I STILL ENJOY IT
It's like... I really think 2017
was the year I lost
uhh a lot of support from youtube
but it's the year I regained my support from my fans
and that I will never forget cuz I
went through so many changes so it felt like
so many of my fans hated me or whatever
I'm just so glad that finally we have a community
and finally again
and finally uhh i have people that I
I really feel like there are people that support me
I really do feel that finally
That really means alot so thank you... it's been
despite all the downside it's been an amazing year
and I'm really proud and happy looking back believe it
or not... You learn from your mistakes and uhh
that's just life
THAT'S LIFE (room reference everybaady) Thank you
to everyone for uhhh hanging out with me this year
can't wait fro next one and... uhh
as alwayss squad fam
should we do... should we do a brofist (YAAASSSS QUEEEN)
I'll let it slide this time (Brofist)
THE BROS GOT YOOUR BACK PEWDS