WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.100 --> 00:00:03.540 Everyone on YouTube knows me as a nice guy. 00:00:03.540 --> 00:00:06.140 I'm practically the nicest guy on the entire planet. 00:00:06.140 --> 00:00:07.920 Not to brag or anything; 00:00:07.920 --> 00:00:10.620 but I am a such a nice guy. 00:00:10.620 --> 00:00:12.080 When women reject me, 00:00:12.090 --> 00:00:14.200 I do not reach for my AR. 00:00:14.200 --> 00:00:15.840 I reach for my fedora. 00:00:15.840 --> 00:00:17.340 I respect you. 00:00:17.340 --> 00:00:19.580 I respect you too damn much. 00:00:19.580 --> 00:00:21.720 Please live a full life without me. 00:00:21.840 --> 00:00:24.340 That's how nice of a guy I am. 00:00:24.340 --> 00:00:27.200 But what I respect even more than nice guys, 00:00:27.200 --> 00:00:28.700 such as myself by the way, 00:00:28.700 --> 00:00:30.760 is of course nice girls. 00:00:30.760 --> 00:00:31.700 That's right. 00:00:32.100 --> 00:00:33.820 Girls can be nice too. 00:00:33.820 --> 00:00:37.100 So let's go through some examples of nice girls, 00:00:37.100 --> 00:00:37.780 because 00:00:38.559 --> 00:00:41.140 I just respect you too damn much not to. 00:00:41.140 --> 00:00:43.949 (Reads title) Because guys aren't allowed to find women attractive. 00:00:44.460 --> 00:00:54.080 (Reads) My girlfriend told me she would suck John Mayer's peepee in front of her own dad, because she loves him so much. 00:00:54.940 --> 00:00:55.820 Same. 00:00:55.820 --> 00:00:59.609 (Reads) I said the girl on Netflix showed we were watching was cute 00:00:59.609 --> 00:01:03.940 (laughing) and she got mad and told me to watch it myself. 00:01:04.020 --> 00:01:06.580 See, she is being nice here. 00:01:06.580 --> 00:01:08.480 She's like she's stepping aside. 00:01:09.680 --> 00:01:12.120 Realizing when she stepped over boundary. 00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:16.380 Oh you like this girl, I will step aside. Enjoy yourself. 00:01:16.470 --> 00:01:17.360 Have a good time. 00:01:17.360 --> 00:01:22.020 (Reads) My wife gets when I have Piper as companion (laughing) in Fallout 4. 00:01:22.020 --> 00:01:24.520 (Reads) Yeah, we can meet up and go through the project. 00:01:24.520 --> 00:01:26.900 (Reads) It looks easy enough. We can finish quick. 00:01:26.900 --> 00:01:28.980 Wow this seems like a great time, 00:01:28.980 --> 00:01:30.940 you know, a boy and a whaman. 00:01:30.940 --> 00:01:33.509 Just working on their science project together. 00:01:33.729 --> 00:01:36.140 (Reads) Okay, just don't try anything. 00:01:36.140 --> 00:01:40.640 (Reads) You were talking about your girl last class and I don't want to interfere with that. 00:01:40.640 --> 00:01:46.760 (Reads) I've been the other woman before and I don't want to ever every do that again. 00:01:46.780 --> 00:01:49.720 I don't want to ever redo that. 00:01:49.720 --> 00:01:53.920 (Reads) I saw you staring at me last class and I don't think you should be going, 00:01:53.940 --> 00:01:55.720 Be doing that if you have 00:01:55.720 --> 00:01:56.800 (reads slowly and quieter this time) a girl. 00:01:56.800 --> 00:02:02.060 (Reads) You brought three honey buns to class. I was staring cuz I thought you'd offer one. 00:02:03.740 --> 00:02:05.760 (Reads) You didn't by the way. 00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:09.580 See she's clearly just making sure of this persons diet 00:02:09.800 --> 00:02:14.960 What a nice girl. Those damn unattractive people staying in loving relationships. 00:02:14.960 --> 00:02:20.500 (Reads) I get really depressed when ugly people get lasting relationships 00:02:20.500 --> 00:02:24.600 and I can't find a single decent boy to want me back. 00:02:25.760 --> 00:02:28.090 It's tough being a nice girl. 00:02:28.090 --> 00:02:31.500 Guys, it's really though. (claps hands) 00:02:31.500 --> 00:02:35.300 This whaman just wants a lasting relationship. 00:02:35.300 --> 00:02:37.300 And look at all these ugly people. 00:02:37.480 --> 00:02:40.320 How dare they, how dare they? 00:02:40.440 --> 00:02:47.140 (Reads) My boyfriend is set for hours playing this and ignoring me. So I fixed his little issue. 00:02:47.140 --> 00:02:51.489 (Reads in maniacal voice) It's cruel and basically abuse to pick a game over your girl. 00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:55.000 (weird "kreee" noise) 00:02:55.060 --> 00:02:58.660 Come on that's full at 4. She's practically doing him a favor here! 00:02:58.900 --> 00:03:02.400 (laughs) 00:03:02.780 --> 00:03:09.840 (Reads) Are you home? Yes babe. Take a picture with a spoon on top of your head. Why? 00:03:10.220 --> 00:03:12.220 (Reads) To prove you're home! 00:03:12.260 --> 00:03:13.740 (Reads) Okay, wait. 00:03:14.260 --> 00:03:17.780 (laughs) 00:03:18.200 --> 00:03:21.000 Hmmm, hmmmmmmmm 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:22.380 Male: What? 00:03:22.380 --> 00:03:25.480 Female: You could've taken that yesterday 00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:28.700 Male: WHY TF WOULD I TAKE A PICTURE WITH A SPOON... 00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:32.020 You never know, see this is what I'm talking about. 00:03:32.550 --> 00:03:34.420 a whamen (chuckles) 00:03:34.420 --> 00:03:36.449 A real whamen questions everything. 00:03:36.600 --> 00:03:41.500 iI isn't just, she doesn't just buy into anything that the man or anyone says. 00:03:41.500 --> 00:03:45.400 She doesn't fall for the lies of the media, and boyfriends. 00:03:45.400 --> 00:03:46.440 She's too woke for that. 00:03:46.440 --> 00:03:47.900 Why don't you add a timestamp? 00:03:48.200 --> 00:03:53.280 Everyone knows you need to engrave a timestamp in the spoon that you put on top of your head. 00:03:53.460 --> 00:03:59.560 This is really the fault of the man here and I completely agree with the whamen as I do always. 00:03:59.560 --> 00:04:01.030 this is- 00:04:01.030 --> 00:04:04.890 how to solve an argument with the whamen: flowchart 00:04:06.010 --> 00:04:08.540 Is the whamen wrong? 00:04:08.540 --> 00:04:09.900 Yes 00:04:09.900 --> 00:04:14.000 Whamen is never wrong. Is the whamen wrong? No --> 00:04:14.000 --> 00:04:15.260 Whamen is never wrong 00:04:15.260 --> 00:04:18.500 That's right everybody -claps hands- whamen is never (wrong) 00:04:18.780 --> 00:04:23.220 Did the whamen murder someone? Is the whamen wrong? Whamen is never wrong. 00:04:23.220 --> 00:04:25.700 Did the whamen copy strike your videos? 00:04:25.700 --> 00:04:27.460 (giggling softly) 00:04:27.460 --> 00:04:28.870 Whamen is never wrong. 00:04:28.870 --> 00:04:35.729 (Reads) Because saying how you actually feel in a healthy manner is sooo overrated if I throw a fit and tell you to- 00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:43.220 (Reads) Leave, please don't leave because I will be over in like three minutes. Okay. Hang in there, baby. 00:04:43.220 --> 00:04:48.280 This reminds me of '13 Reasons why', have you guys seen that? Or is it '12 Reasons why'? I don't remember. 00:04:48.850 --> 00:04:54.500 There's this one scene where the main character basically tells the guy: 00:04:54.500 --> 00:05:02.220 'LEAVE! JUST GO!' And he goes 'no... No, I really want to stay with you, please like don't tell me to leave, babe' 00:05:02.220 --> 00:05:05.740 'LEAVE, JUST LEAVE. Why aren't you listening?' 00:05:05.740 --> 00:05:08.720 'Please. Oh god. Okay fine. I will leave.' 00:05:09.120 --> 00:05:10.800 'Why did you leave me?' 00:05:10.980 --> 00:05:12.060 (laughing) 00:05:12.460 --> 00:05:21.600 I'm not even making fun of it. It's exact.. verbatim. I know I'm pushing this meme pretty hard like I don't (laughs) 00:05:21.640 --> 00:05:24.220 We're just having fun here guys, okay, please! 00:05:24.760 --> 00:05:28.680 We are respecting whamen here on this channel. No funny business. 00:05:28.800 --> 00:05:36.240 Whamen are always right, all whamen are a queen. Can we get in the comments everybody so that it doesn't get 00:05:37.340 --> 00:05:39.340 miss-misunderstood by 00:05:40.249 --> 00:05:43.419 random articles that will pick one comment out of context. 00:05:44.300 --> 00:05:46.810 And be like 'this is what people think out of this video.' 00:05:47.080 --> 00:05:49.280 'We found one comment saying this.' 00:05:49.280 --> 00:05:51.860 (Reads) What do boys even find attractive about boobs? 00:05:52.120 --> 00:05:56.020 (Reads) They're literally a ball of fat on a girl's chest. 00:05:56.260 --> 00:06:02.440 (Reads) Like if you can love me for the fat on my chest, why can't you love me for the fat on my stomach? 00:06:02.620 --> 00:06:08.800 (little squeals and almost-silent laughter) 00:06:08.960 --> 00:06:11.340 Why don't you love all my fatty lumps, huh? 00:06:11.380 --> 00:06:17.620 You only care about the to fail in love with the boob milk come from (?). (Reads) Why do women find hair attractive on man? 00:06:17.620 --> 00:06:21.000 Why don't why can't they appreciate the hair on my butt as well? 00:06:21.000 --> 00:06:28.740 (Reads) Hey. I hope you don't mind me asking who this is. We met at Snoopys in SR last week. 00:06:28.960 --> 00:06:34.180 (Reads) You don't remember? I met a lot of people there. So no sorry. Mind if I ask how you got my number? 00:06:34.699 --> 00:06:37.658 I overheard you give it to the dude you were learning with. 00:06:38.330 --> 00:06:44.229 I gave it to him since he asked. Not okay to do that. Sorry. I think I'm done here. Why not? 00:06:44.229 --> 00:06:47.739 It's harmless, though-thought we could get to know each other. 00:06:47.839 --> 00:06:54.129 Sorry, but I don't even know who this is, and I'm a bit uncomfortable with this. It's Naomi, my bad 00:06:54.129 --> 00:06:58.520 I didn't say it earlier. Sorry. It's super. So you're gonna be there on Friday, right? 00:06:58.880 --> 00:07:02.000 (dramatic piano music) 00:07:02.180 --> 00:07:06.540 Jesus Christ! I didn't realize girls were equally psychopathic as boys. 00:07:07.140 --> 00:07:11.760 This has really changed him. This has changed my perspective on a lot of things 00:07:12.539 --> 00:07:15.619 (Reads in high mocking voice )Honestly, I hate online dating websites. 00:07:16.020 --> 00:07:23.320 When I ask a man how tall he is and he asked me how much I weight back. It's a sign of immaturity 00:07:23.400 --> 00:07:29.000 Let me break this down: every human is different and we all come in a unique shapes and sizes 00:07:29.000 --> 00:07:34.160 but as long as you ask me what my unique shape and size is 00:07:34.520 --> 00:07:36.520 (almost not-understandable) You're an immature bastard! 00:07:36.780 --> 00:07:39.580 And I agree also, of course. (Reads) I don't know how to read 00:07:40.350 --> 00:07:42.889 american measurement 5'6'' in China 00:07:42.889 --> 00:07:49.189 You are still 5'6'' in the US. That measurement is solid and looks the same all over the world. 00:07:49.189 --> 00:07:53.720 Why you know me if she's a weightlifter I am over 200 pounds weight. How much is that Tony? 00:07:53.760 --> 00:07:55.760 Why you know me if she's a weightlifter? That's pretty impressive. 00:07:55.760 --> 00:07:58.240 (Reads) But I carry my weight- 00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:00.240 She is a weightlifter! 00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:06.200 (Reads) Like a damn Queen. But someone taller or shorter than me with the same weight is gonna look different from me. 00:08:06.330 --> 00:08:08.180 So when I ask how tall a guy is, 00:08:08.180 --> 00:08:13.250 I'm trying to see on the most basic fundamental level if I'm going to be attracted to you. 00:08:13.250 --> 00:08:16.340 (Reads) My number on my scale is not going to change anything about me. 00:08:16.340 --> 00:08:21.520 I love how she's so... Aware. She's so self-aware. 00:08:22.380 --> 00:08:27.880 That's what I love about whamen...like this one. It really makes you think. 00:08:28.100 --> 00:08:33.000 Oh! This is the original? Is this the original of the meme that everyone keeps posting? 00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:36.500 (Reads) Why can't I find a guy like (woooaw sound) 00:08:36.560 --> 00:08:40.720 Hey,!- No.- I'm literally the guy in the pic. 00:08:40.720 --> 00:08:43.520 I always thought that's what the original was. That's hilarious. 00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:49.220 This proves that whamen doesn't really want anyone. (Reads) Me: I'm so happy in this relationship! 00:08:49.220 --> 00:08:54.480 Also me: plant a hair tie in his bed, pretend it's not yours, blame it on another girl and start a fight. 00:08:55.830 --> 00:09:02.689 Jesus Christ this reminds me of that clip. ''promised me we would have two kids and now he doesn't want any more.'' 00:09:02.689 --> 00:09:04.320 (Crowd awwws) 00:09:04.320 --> 00:09:07.580 ''My friend think I should trick him and stop taking my birth control.'' 00:09:07.580 --> 00:09:09.580 (crowd shocked 'oh' and Pewds surprised 'WTH!') 00:09:09.860 --> 00:09:13.720 ''What do you think Wendy?'' Yeah, what do you- what do you think Wendy? 00:09:13.820 --> 00:09:20.700 ''I'm embarrassed to say this because I don't like spousal lying. However, men have never been in control of our bodies.'' 00:09:20.790 --> 00:09:24.500 ''We're the ones in control. I'm not going to suggest that you do that'' 00:09:25.260 --> 00:09:30.540 ''but look into my eyes and tell me what I'm saying, okay?!'' (crowd applauses) 00:09:30.920 --> 00:09:36.140 I'm not gonna tell you to stop using birth control without telling your man and make a- 00:09:36.360 --> 00:09:41.240 conceive a child without the other person's consent, bUt Am I GoNnA?! 00:09:41.240 --> 00:09:44.040 (fake crowd cheering) 00:09:44.060 --> 00:09:46.920 Are you a nice girl as well? Do let me know because... 00:09:47.880 --> 00:09:48.640 umm... 00:09:49.350 --> 00:09:54.640 I will tip my fedora to you. Leave a like if you're a nice girl and leave a like-like if you're a nice guy and 00:09:54.640 --> 00:09:57.780 leave it like if you're just nice in general. 00:09:57.920 --> 00:09:59.920 Fedora tip. And as always- 00:10:00.560 --> 00:10:03.000 Good good. Have a great day. 00:10:03.020 --> 00:10:17.540 (soft bongos music. Then more percussions, some maracas, etc. Overall nice chill music) 00:10:17.540 --> 00:10:25.700 ANIMAL SUPER SQUAD is out on all consoles (according to Felix) 00:10:25.700 --> 00:10:29.000 (aggrssive music transtion...piano high notes?) 00:10:29.000 --> 00:10:52.780 (cool arcade-like music. It's a boss battle = fast tempo) 00:10:52.780 --> 00:11:16.260 ASS is out guys! (classical music when boss is beaten)