(不要用可悲的google translate 傷害我的眼睛 , 混帳東西) PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW PEW
Today, we are doing something a little different. (rocket ship?)
Today we are playing...
Not one game,
But three games! (wow you win an oscar)
If that doesn't prove that I'm a gamer,
I don't know what does.
Three games...
In V.R. baby!
Let's frickin' go!
So the first game, is a Sonic Simulator.
Ok uhhhh... what do I need to do?
"Type your actual height"
Ok, so...
Five hund- 3 metres
Nine metres.
Ok I'm 1.8, I don't care what anyone says
[The jazziest of music]
Here we go. Here we go.
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HOOOOO MY GODDD
WOOOOOO I'M SONIC BABY
This is a dream (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
*music keeps playing*
WOAHHH!!!
F A S T E R R U N N I N G
FASTERRRRRRR
Ok we gotta jump now
HUP
*more lit music*
JUMP GOD-
*lit music ends* Ok,
I think it comes to a moment when you realise
I'm gonna throw up if I play any more...
*lit music has reentered the chat* SO LET'S PLAY MORE :D
SPIN!!!
*lit music leaves the chat again* I'm not playing this... no way... NO... WAY...
I am NOT playing this game
This is a barfing simulator (-﹏-。)
Oh god I'm getting old [old sigh]
*lit music makes brief appearence*
Ok, I've played this game before
But I rEAllY, ReAlLy, rEaLlY, ReaLLy wanna play it again (do you really Felix?)
It's called drunken bar fight simulator
And I am ready to make -ah- action with the -eh- -eh people
Ah ok "please stand up straight and pull trigger"
Oh you're gonna get the taste of the Swedish Meatballs™
Ohh a game where you walk normally
Character: I can't stand it that my wife complains that she always sees me as a woman.
Excuse me.... What??【・_・?】
Ohh you're a beauty- OH! I DIDN'T MEAN TO PUNCH YOU D:
OH PLEASE! Charactor: you wanna shot? Felix: PLEASEEE! Charactor: Here's a shot!
Don't hurt me! Aarghjlk!!
*rip felix*
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
What the- what the hell *count down begins in background - 10, 9*
GET UP *8*
GET *7*
UP *6*
*5, 4*
Oh yeah *3* you gotta pull yourself up *2*
Pull yourself up man *count down stops, cue dramatic music*
Youuu made a dangerous enemy
Hey, please...
PLEASE DON'T HURT MAEEE
STOP. PLEASE. PLEASE DON'T HURT MAEEEEE
BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM
OHH DAMN I GOT THE POWER!
BOOM X4 YEAH!
You wish you would never fight ME
UHHHHH now let's get those goddamn knees
Ah god damnit [rabid dog sounds]
Don't get up. Don't get up, you will regret this
Don't get up you son of a gun
(omg I'm captioning assault)
Ya ever got a brofist here??? (probably)
Oh you're s- OH GOD EW EW EW EW EW EW
Slap your knees... slap your knees. (moaning, grunts)
YEAH!! YEAH! YEah yeah. uh uh uh!
Where are you going?? huh? where are you going? come back here :(
Come back here
Stop right there criminal scum
What happened??
Character: Welcome to my bar. Its the worst in the city.
Oh yeah you can get drunk in this game
Character: I'm a motivational speaker against alcoholism
Felix: Smell this. Charactor: so i teach by making an example so i get the point across.
SMELL THIS.
Ya like that? ;)
Ya like this? ;)))
Now kiss it ( ˘ ³˘)♥
AWW ye ye ye you like that
._.
AHH AHH see just tell me if I should stop
(Pewds continues to assault the video game characters)
Character: Live life like Marky Mark, I always say.
*yeet*
Ohhh limboooo! You wanna limbo?
*nearly breaks neck*
You wanna limbo?
*BOING*
P-haha what is this?
Charactor: you can't judge me for being a drunk...
*BOING*
... when it's part of my job
How's your hairline going there buddy? (oof)
*drinking sound*
*punch*
Character 1: AHHH, this is- (inaudible)
Character 2: OWWW, you can't hit me there!
Character 2: How C R U E L
Guys, please D:
(overlapping speech)
Please...
*Super Saiyan Pewds*
*continuous knee attacks and shouts of agony)
Random Guy: wAt dID YOUU dRiNk? T E Q U I L L A?
This is how we fight in Sweden...
(shouts of agony)
UNDEFEATABLE
*more shouts of agony*
YEAHHHHHH
WA- *ded*
NOO!
Get up
Get up, goddammit,
Not like this...
Not like this!
I'm back
I'm back!
Character: YOU GOT TO FIGHT ME!
*oof*
Goddammit, he got me from behind
*count down starts: 10, 9*
Get up *8*
GeT uP gEdDaMmEt *7, 6*
Get UUPPPPP *5, 4*
UP! *3*
I'm up! *2*
I'M UP! *1!*
I'M UP!!!
Fu-
*ingame cheering*
Not fair
(plays with stool)
Woah!
The physics are so crazy!
Character: I hate my ex-wife;
Always telling me I drank at parties-
P: Hey buddy, you wanna hang?
*boof*
I like how tha- that doesn't bother him at all
EH HA
Here you go, now you have hair; you're welcome!
*chime*
IS THAT A FRICKIN' MACE?
THERE'S A MACE?!
That's AMAZING! (pun intended)
You want some tips? (WE GOT EM!)
*wicked skills*
Or you'll regret...
...making me very angry
*breaks mace* *cue dramatic sad music*
DAMMIT!
Come back here!
I messed up!
Come back mace, pleaseeee!
Don't goooo!
I love youuuu! *dramatic sad music stops*
Ok, let's be gentle...
*o shit*
OHO- JESUS!
OH MY GOD
Sorry guys!
(we've witnessed murder)
._.
NO ONE LEAVES COMPLETELY (inaudible)
(ingame rioting)
Stop it
Stop it!
(ingame rioting)
P: (inaudible)
Please come help us!
come near me and no one gets hurt (???)
NO my shield (??)
*finally the noise stops :D*
DAMMIT!
I was so close!
Woah!
Well I went out like hero style
Character: I bought this top with- (inaudible)
Damn, I'm really good
Alright, let's go for the nipple
*boof*
OHHHHHHHHHH
Pewds: HUH
Character: AHHH
Pewds: AH- (laughs)
Pewds: HUH
OHHHH MY GOD!
I'M SORRY! (x2)
UGH! PLEASE, I'M SORRY!
UGH- nooooo
(laughs)
Ohoho god, look at him
(oh nooooo D:)
I felt sick for hours yesterday
I dunno why I can't play-
Sometimes I play, like no problem,
And then, sometimes...
I play a little bit and I just wanna die...
But hopefully, that won't happen again
*ding*
Ok, let's go up here
Yeah, let's go to the roof, guys!
So, I didn't know you could do this,
I dunno if it's a new thing, but,
We have a whole new roos-
Hello!
Ok, Felix,
Just act cool,
And you'll blend right in.
Oh My GODDDDDD
That's how Mafia WORKS!!!
(laughs) dammit
THAT'S how MAFIA WORKS!
DAMMIT!
Ok, ok, ok (chuckles)
Here we go
excuse me sir
Ingame: OHHHHHH
P: Hey...
Stay- stay away
THIS IS HOW MAFIA WORKKKS!!!
*ded*
WOAH!
*random sounds*
Woah!
No! (chuckles)
(pewds is dying)
NOOOhoo! NOOhe
Look at his face!
Hey, what are you doing?!
THIS IS HOW MAFIA WORKS-
BEEEEE--
OHH-
*explosion*
OHHH
(laughs)
Stay away (x3)
STAY AWAYYY!
Goddamn, they're CRAZY-
I'm trying to light a firework
DON'T MAKE ME DO IT!!!
AHHH
Gotta light another one
Shame on you!
*applause*
Pewds: (shouts)
OHHHHH...
*intense music*
*lights firework*
Say hello to my little friend- (Pulls out meatscepter)
WAHHHH!!!
(laughs like Mario)
Why are the fireworks the best?
Stay away, sir!
Oh God
WOOOOOHOOOOO
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WOOOOOO
OOOOHHHH (x4)
OHHHWOAWOWA
NOOOO! What the heck-
Excuse me, sir
I belie- oh
Charater: I hAvE a GoOd dIvOrCe lAwYeR LiNeD uP iF aLl oF tHis fAllS through-
Pewds: Please listen to me Marzia-
Don't marry him...
You're supposed to marry ME! (that's right)
Please!
*sad music has entered the chat*
Oh!...
What is happening?
What is happening?!
*bell*
*rioting*
YOU WANNA FIGHT?
(screeches) STAY AWAYYYYY!
STAY AWAY! (x2)
UGH!
*explosion*
OHHHH
I'll do it again!
Character: Aaowwww!
Pewds: AHHH!
*punches guy*
I'll never fight a woman
Oh- Sorry
I'm so sorry
*breaks glass*
Oh my god, there's stuff here, dude!
This changes everything!
*crab king battle cry*
Boop
*I be flossinnnnnnnn-*
JEEEEEESUS CHRIST! (same here)
*yeets people with fireworks*
Sorry!
Come here
I love you...
I love you so much...
Come here (x2)
Gimme a hug (x2)
Please hug me
I love you
I love you, man
I love you man, we're friends
Right?
*grunting T_T*
*YEEEEET*
*thanks Brad*
*deadly knee attack*
Here it is...
You're ass is mine, boi
(laughs evilly)
*o ma god*
Bai!!!
You!-
Dammit- if the helicopter comes...
…apparently it's over
(omg she's back!!!)
'I HaVe a gOOd divOrCe layWer LinEd uP iF aLL OF tHiS-
YEEEE
Aw, hell yeah!
I love this song!
(moans)
(moans) (im scared)
Ah...
Ugh..
*bottles clink*
*chugs like a boss*
*bottles clink again*
Another one!
*chugs once again*
*bottles clink*
Another one, please
*this is unsafe, don't try this at home*
*b o t t l e c l i n k*
What are ya looking at?
How dare you...
...talk back to an elderly man like this...
HUH??
How could you!
(rioting)
Ohh….
OHH....
Oh, little did you know...
I GO FOR KNEES! (CRAB KING!)
and NOTHING ELSE!
*Swedish battle cry*
I will die fighting for what I believe in!!!
AH!
I GO FOR EVERYONE'S FRICKIN' KNEES!-
No!
NOOOOOOOO!
Damn, I feel sexy
Goddamn, I FEEL GOOD
But I'm also...
Old (aww D:)
So oldddd (you turn 30 this year D:)
Excuse meee
I just need to go home and shit myselfffff
Excuse meeeeee-
*videogame character has seizure; Felix enters super saiyan mode*
*smack*
AHHHHHH
Stay down!
Stayyy downnnn!
How could youuuuu-
(Felix lied to us.. T^T)
Alright...
I'll return next time,
Stronger than ever!
Smash Like, Subscribe,
And buy- mer- I don't even know... (buy the (90mil merch guys!)
Bye Guys!
WHAT?
Tuber Simulator is becoming relevant! (no way :O)
*lit 8-bit version of b*tch lasagna*
No!
No, don't leave!
No, please!
Sponsor Eagle, please do something!
*it's a me, SPONSOR EAGLE!*
Yes!
Yes!!! (laughs)
Ahhh... (that's hot)
This game is still relevant goddammit!
*denanaaa denena na naaaaaaaa*