WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en-GB 00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:05.800 *Classic Nokia Ringtone* 00:00:05.800 --> 00:00:06.500 It's me... 00:00:06.700 --> 00:00:08.000 Mr. PewDiePie. 00:00:08.100 --> 00:00:09.000 It's Google. 00:00:09.200 --> 00:00:10.400 Google... 00:00:10.500 --> 00:00:12.700 Google... You called at last. 00:00:12.700 --> 00:00:13.600 Now tell me... 00:00:13.600 --> 00:00:15.500 Tell me about the secret algorithm. 00:00:15.500 --> 00:00:16.500 You promised, 00:00:16.500 --> 00:00:18.100 once I hit 50 million, 00:00:18.100 --> 00:00:19.500 you would tell me everything... 00:00:19.500 --> 00:00:21.400 I need more power! 00:00:21.400 --> 00:00:22.000 I'm running low... 00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:23.860 JackSepticEye is catching up! 00:00:23.860 --> 00:00:25.000 I'm falling behind, 00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:25.740 Google... 00:00:25.740 --> 00:00:27.740 What, d'you want Lily Sings on top? 00:00:27.740 --> 00:00:29.120 That's right, I know you don't... 00:00:29.120 --> 00:00:32.180 Now that you've finally made it to 50 million subs, 00:00:32.180 --> 00:00:34.660 you have access to a super secret 00:00:34.660 --> 00:00:36.660 higher level of Youtube Heroes 00:00:36.660 --> 00:00:38.660 Youtube Super Saiyan God Level Hero 00:00:38.660 --> 00:00:40.700 Youtube Super Saiyan God Level Hero? 00:00:41.300 --> 00:00:42.920 What is the key information? 00:00:42.920 --> 00:00:44.980 Listen closely to this information- 00:00:44.980 --> 00:00:46.040 Okay... 00:00:46.040 --> 00:00:48.400 The likes, they don't do anything 00:00:48.700 --> 00:00:50.300 It's a dead button 00:00:50.500 --> 00:00:53.560 It's been a dead button, all along... 00:00:53.600 --> 00:00:56.700 *intense music* 00:00:56.700 --> 00:00:58.840 No... 00:00:59.340 --> 00:00:59.840 Ugh...! 00:01:00.440 --> 00:01:02.780 *desperate inhalations* 00:01:02.780 --> 00:01:04.100 The dislikes... 00:01:05.900 --> 00:01:07.560 What about the dislikes? 00:01:07.560 --> 00:01:09.820 Don't you see? That's the key 00:01:09.820 --> 00:01:12.340 The more dislikes, the more POWER 00:01:12.340 --> 00:01:15.640 How do you think so many shit channels can rise to the top- 00:01:15.640 --> 00:01:16.900 Ghostbusters... 00:01:16.900 --> 00:01:18.140 Rebecca Black... 00:01:18.140 --> 00:01:19.460 JustinBieberVEVO... 00:01:19.460 --> 00:01:20.500 Call of Duty... 00:01:20.500 --> 00:01:23.400 So you're telling me, if I get more dislikes... 00:01:23.400 --> 00:01:26.600 You will become more powerful than you could ever imagine- 00:01:26.600 --> 00:01:28.400 *Intense camera looking* 00:01:28.400 --> 00:01:29.300 It will be done... 00:01:29.300 --> 00:01:31.160 *More INTENSE* 00:01:31.160 --> 00:01:33.400 *MORE POWER* 00:01:33.440 --> 00:01:34.000 *R.I.P. phone* 00:01:34.680 --> 00:01:36.960 YO, WHAT'S FFFFFFUCKING GOOD!!!!! 00:01:37.120 --> 00:01:39.100 ONE MILLION DISLIKES!!! 00:01:39.100 --> 00:01:40.600 CAN WE SMASH IT?! 00:01:40.600 --> 00:01:41.180 *fart noise* 00:01:41.180 --> 00:01:43.920 One million dislikes, or I'll drown myself! 00:01:44.360 --> 00:01:45.260 AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:46.720 *proceeds Swedish mating call* 00:01:46.720 --> 00:01:47.220 *nevermind* 00:01:47.220 --> 00:01:49.160 FUUUUUUUCK!!! 00:01:49.440 --> 00:01:51.380 *tries to open the window* 00:01:51.600 --> 00:01:53.780 ONE MILLION DISLIKES!?!?! 00:01:54.880 --> 00:01:56.040 [R.I.P. Headphone users] 00:01:57.800 --> 00:01:59.600 One million dislikes... 00:02:00.680 --> 00:02:01.900 or the Romanian dies. 00:02:01.900 --> 00:02:03.460 Maya, ur so cu- 00:02:03.460 --> 00:02:05.500 ONE MILLION DISLIKES!!! 00:02:05.500 --> 00:02:06.820 AAAH! *Cancer Pose™* 00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:13.680 *gargling sound* 00:02:13.860 --> 00:02:14.740 AAAAAHH. 00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:17.120 AAAH FU- 00:02:17.380 --> 00:02:19.380 ONE MILLION DISLIKES! 00:02:19.380 --> 00:02:21.660 Can we get one million dislikes! 00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:22.580 Please...? 00:02:22.580 --> 00:02:24.100 ONE MILLION! 00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:33.480 *carrousel song* 00:02:34.820 --> 00:02:36.020 We strike at dawn! 00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:38.540 ONE MILLION DISLIKES! 00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:39.800 ONE MILLION DI- 00:02:39.800 --> 00:02:40.400 No! 00:02:40.480 --> 00:02:41.200 No 00:02:41.340 --> 00:02:42.280 No ho hou- 00:02:47.460 --> 00:02:50.800 *awkward silence, carrousel music still going* 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:51.620 ONE- 00:02:51.900 --> 00:02:57.700 *carrousel music continues* 00:02:58.700 --> 00:03:00.600 *nailed it* 00:03:00.600 --> 00:03:01.880 *Brought to you by The Topless Men Epic Fail Inc.* 00:03:01.880 --> 00:03:03.920 ONE MILLION DISLIKES!! 00:03:04.700 --> 00:03:05.500 ONE MIL- 00:03:06.100 --> 00:03:06.880 CAN WE GET- 00:03:07.200 --> 00:03:08.380 ONE MILLION 00:03:10.300 --> 00:03:14.300 [Well, this is awkward...] 00:03:16.460 --> 00:03:18.880 ONE MILLIOOOOON! 00:03:19.580 --> 00:03:21.320 ONE MILLIOOON- 00:03:22.100 --> 00:03:23.320 DISLIKES! 00:03:24.040 --> 00:03:26.560 Can we get one million dislikes?! 00:03:27.600 --> 00:03:28.500 Dislikes! 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:32.040 She likes likes. 00:03:33.700 --> 00:03:35.040 Bet she likes Leafy too. 00:03:35.400 --> 00:03:36.400 ONE MILLION!! 00:03:36.800 --> 00:03:40.800 *sad music* 00:03:41.280 --> 00:03:42.340 Don't look at me... 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:49.000 *cries in Swedish* 00:03:49.640 --> 00:03:50.140 *wat* 00:03:50.140 --> 00:03:50.660 00:03:51.220 --> 00:03:53.300 ONE MILLION DISLIKES 00:03:53.740 --> 00:03:57.300 Poor Pewds :( 00:04:00.740 --> 00:04:02.260 Alright, so apparently, 00:04:02.920 --> 00:04:04.480 likes doesn't mean shit. 00:04:04.940 --> 00:04:07.060 We've been liking videos for nothing. 00:04:07.380 --> 00:04:09.540 Fantastic... Now it's all about watchtime, 00:04:09.540 --> 00:04:11.740 and making you keep watching more videos. 00:04:11.960 --> 00:04:14.360 No one really knows what's going on on YouTube anymore. 00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:17.040 Everyone's just... testing out different things 00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:20.300 Begging for likes- OH THAT GUY GOT A LOT OF VIEWS 00:04:20.300 --> 00:04:22.420 I, I jus- I must beg for likes as well 00:04:22.660 --> 00:04:26.000 Well apparently, likes doesn't even do ANYTHING 00:04:26.260 --> 00:04:28.120 Except dislikes - don't forget to dislike 00:04:28.120 --> 00:04:31.700 What YT wants is watchtime, and that you watch more videos 00:04:31.720 --> 00:04:33.320 That's all they really care about so 00:04:33.340 --> 00:04:35.700 Speaking of which-why don't you check out this video? 00:04:35.700 --> 00:04:37.440 This is a really great one, 00:04:37.440 --> 00:04:39.680 that I think you'll really enjoy watching 00:04:39.680 --> 00:04:42.780 'cause it's very-it's practically the same video as this one 00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:45.580 Oh my god... 00:04:47.420 --> 00:04:48.800 I'm getting too old for this shit. 00:04:48.800 --> 00:04:51.260 Don't forget to dislike the video. 00:04:52.040 --> 00:04:52.540 *regrets life*