WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.800 Danny! 00:00:01.800 --> 00:00:03.220 Danny, get out of there! 00:00:03.380 --> 00:00:05.220 Danny, it's not REAL!! 00:00:05.220 --> 00:00:13.680 D- [music] 00:00:13.740 --> 00:00:17.140 [music] *echo effect* Danny! IT'S NOT REAL! D- 00:00:17.620 --> 00:00:18.800 *background* Danny... 00:00:19.620 --> 00:00:21.720 *echo effect* Danny, get out of there! 00:00:22.320 --> 00:00:24.900 *echo effect* Danny, get out of there. 00:00:24.900 --> 00:00:25.920 Danny! 00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:27.920 Danny, are you playing with the... 00:00:28.020 --> 00:00:29.920 Can you hear me? 00:00:29.920 --> 00:00:32.320 [Music] 00:00:32.360 --> 00:00:33.820 [Music intensifies] 00:00:33.820 --> 00:00:36.740 I might as well... play this myself then I guess. 00:00:37.120 --> 00:00:40.160 I guess I have no other choice but 00:00:40.160 --> 00:00:42.300 to play this game myself! 00:00:42.500 --> 00:00:43.500 It's not~ I don't want to 00:00:43.500 --> 00:00:44.400 I guess, 00:00:44.400 --> 00:00:46.400 just to show you that it's wrong. 00:00:46.550 --> 00:00:47.500 I will do it. >:( 00:00:47.500 --> 00:00:48.300 We're gonna play- 00:00:48.300 --> 00:00:48.949 oh. 00:00:48.949 --> 00:00:51.000 So it's "Tropical Girls VR". 00:00:51.000 --> 00:00:51.500 (aka Virtual Reality) 00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:52.800 This game was announced 00:00:52.800 --> 00:00:54.300 pretty much, very early. 00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:56.240 [Uh.. picture Spongebob music with a romantic more tropical twist.] 00:00:57.620 --> 00:00:58.120 HO! 00:00:58.120 --> 00:01:00.120 [ignored] 00:01:00.260 --> 00:01:03.600 WoooOaAaaAAH 00:01:04.120 --> 00:01:04.620 How- 00:01:04.620 --> 00:01:05.600 My hands! 00:01:06.100 --> 00:01:08.100 Wow ಠ_ಠ 00:01:09.680 --> 00:01:11.020 *whispers* Thank you. 00:01:11.020 --> 00:01:13.020 *whispers* Thank you! 00:01:13.520 --> 00:01:14.240 Wow! 00:01:14.260 --> 00:01:16.260 Well, hello! What a nice pool- 00:01:16.480 --> 00:01:19.420 -it... it really looks like real water there. 00:01:19.820 --> 00:01:22.360 This truly feels like the futur- 00:01:22.460 --> 00:01:27.080 Can I walk? Oh my god, I can walk, wo- Oh my go- 00:01:28.120 --> 00:01:30.340 There's hot babes everywhere! 00:01:30.500 --> 00:01:32.560 Of course I can't interact with shit 00:01:32.570 --> 00:01:34.640 Don't worry about me ladies I may look 00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:36.840 like I'm a table... 00:01:36.860 --> 00:01:38.680 *silent* Actually that's perfect... I am a table! 00:01:38.680 --> 00:01:40.600 Keep doing what you're doing! 00:01:40.600 --> 00:01:43.060 Wow! *laughs* 00:01:43.060 --> 00:01:45.220 It looks so shit like honestly... 00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:47.980 Wow, you look... you look good there, you look good- 00:01:47.980 --> 00:01:50.980 merging with that... with a fucking wall... 00:01:50.980 --> 00:01:57.720 Aight, I'm just gonna drown myself... 00:01:57.740 --> 00:02:00.020 Yeah this is much better! 00:02:00.060 --> 00:02:01.800 This is definitely more interesting! 00:02:01.900 --> 00:02:03.700 This is the game that as soon as they 00:02:03.710 --> 00:02:05.780 announced VR everyone was like 'oh my god' 00:02:05.780 --> 00:02:07.700 I'm going to play porn on the VR it's 00:02:07.700 --> 00:02:12.340 gonna be so.. *jump scare* EY! Jesus Christ... That's close... Excuse me.. 00:02:12.420 --> 00:02:14.580 *change of music* It's day 64 00:02:14.600 --> 00:02:17.250 I've been... I've been camping out here 00:02:17.250 --> 00:02:19.140 away from the girls. 00:02:19.440 --> 00:02:21.580 I hate them, they are disgusting! 00:02:22.040 --> 00:02:24.680 Where am I? Oh, I'm here... OK... 00:02:24.920 --> 00:02:27.980 I paid, erm... I paid money for that one... That's pretty cool 00:02:27.980 --> 00:02:29.420 that's a pretty cool game *sarcasm* 00:02:29.420 --> 00:02:31.420 [music] 00:02:31.420 --> 00:02:33.220 [music INTENSIFIES] 00:02:33.220 --> 00:02:35.460 Ok, so, I... This is kind of weird because 00:02:35.460 --> 00:02:38.070 this game, I'm in first person, but you 00:02:38.080 --> 00:02:41.680 guys will see me as 3rd person. 00:02:41.680 --> 00:02:44.760 I don't know. Let's... Oh my god, this is so strange! 00:02:44.760 --> 00:02:46.520 [Bar crowd] 00:02:46.520 --> 00:02:48.000 Where am...? Why am I out here? 00:02:48.000 --> 00:02:52.240 Oh... 00:02:52.240 --> 00:02:54.440 Can I come in please? 00:02:54.440 --> 00:02:55.480 Hey! 00:02:55.480 --> 00:02:59.560 AAAAAH!!! *pewds transforms - acquires 'hand'* 00:02:59.560 --> 00:03:01.840 There we go! 00:03:01.840 --> 00:03:03.720 One, uh... 00:03:03.720 --> 00:03:05.520 Bro fist, please! *laughs silently* 00:03:05.880 --> 00:03:06.400 Oh, there we go.. 00:03:06.400 --> 00:03:06.920 My hand.. 00:03:06.920 --> 00:03:10.720 No! Wrong.. Hand movement... What the fuck are you doing? 00:03:10.720 --> 00:03:14.550 Calm down! Calm down!! AH! No! 00:03:14.550 --> 00:03:19.440 Put it down! ssshhit... I'm not doing anything! 00:03:19.440 --> 00:03:22.770 OK, let's just go over here. 00:03:22.770 --> 00:03:27.280 Let's change song... [crowd reacts] There we go. 00:03:28.840 --> 00:03:30.840 Excuse me, chair? 00:03:30.840 --> 00:03:35.400 *euhh* Oh... Oh... Yeah... 00:03:35.400 --> 00:03:37.400 Yeah, that goood... 00:03:37.400 --> 00:03:39.400 Ooooooh uh... 00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:41.760 Can I sm... [NPC hurt sound] 00:03:41.760 --> 00:03:44.040 Oh, got him! I got him! 00:03:44.040 --> 00:03:45.080 [Fight sounds] 00:03:45.080 --> 00:03:47.320 Oh, oh, it's on! Oh, oh, oh! [Fight sounds] 00:03:47.320 --> 00:03:49.760 You want some of this? You want some of this, bitch? [Fight sounds] 00:03:49.760 --> 00:03:53.720 Yeah! That's right, I fuck you up, I fuck you up! 00:03:53.720 --> 00:03:56.320 Cash me ousside, how 'bout that? *laughs ironically* 00:03:56.320 --> 00:03:58.640 No... No! He's slapping me! ugh... 00:03:58.640 --> 00:04:01.920 ueyug eyug uweh weh (Accurate transcription) 00:04:01.920 --> 00:04:08.640 I take you on, everyone, every single last one of... One of you *laughs* A-hey! 00:04:08.640 --> 00:04:12.120 Wow, shit, he did a roundhound... house kick! 00:04:12.120 --> 00:04:14.360 Wha, I've lost it! 00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:16.400 No! I died! 00:04:16.400 --> 00:04:18.240 I got to pick myself up... 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:25.360 Ah, shit, I flew everywhere... Fuck, where am I? 00:04:25.360 --> 00:04:27.680 Damn it... 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:29.040 Damn it! 00:04:29.040 --> 00:04:32.920 [Announcer] The bartender won't serve you down there, maybe next time you should pick yourself up! 00:04:32.920 --> 00:04:34.520 Shut the fuck up... 00:04:34.520 --> 00:04:36.520 [music] 00:04:36.520 --> 00:04:37.960 [It intensifies] 00:04:39.560 --> 00:04:41.640 Whoa, that's cool! 00:04:41.640 --> 00:04:43.640 This is cool actually. 00:04:43.880 --> 00:04:47.900 OK, so I can.. walk... How do I walk forward? 00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:51.200 Lantern, calm down. 00:04:52.760 --> 00:04:54.960 How do I walk? 00:04:54.960 --> 00:04:56.800 YAWH! *laughs* 00:05:00.400 --> 00:05:02.400 *clicks buttons* 00:05:04.840 --> 00:05:09.960 Whoa, this is creepy guys, this is actually pretty scary 00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:12.160 I really feel like I am in a corridor. 00:05:12.160 --> 00:05:14.160 [Scary background noises] 00:05:14.320 --> 00:05:17.400 This better be... This better be a porn game, Danny! 00:05:17.400 --> 00:05:19.600 I swear to god... 00:05:19.600 --> 00:05:21.840 [Scary footsteps and breathing] 00:05:21.840 --> 00:05:24.040 Can I walk a little slower? *sarcasm* 00:05:24.040 --> 00:05:27.800 Some creatures are attract... Oh! 00:05:27.800 --> 00:05:29.800 Better, eh... Turn it off then! 00:05:29.840 --> 00:05:36.240 God, it's scary, this is scary, I'm scared, I don't like it 00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:38.030 hello? 00:05:38.030 --> 00:05:43.760 Aight, let's check where we are... 00:05:43.760 --> 00:05:48.380 OK... where VEE are [sounds like "VR"] 00:05:48.380 --> 00:05:52.850 Oh god, THERE'S SOMETHING BEHIND ME! 00:05:52.850 --> 00:05:56.640 Oh, bad! 00:05:56.640 --> 00:06:01.160 Oohhh my goodd, this is really scary, I don't like it! 00:06:01.160 --> 00:06:02.760 I don't wanna play this! 00:06:03.120 --> 00:06:06.400 I don't know what that is, but I'll be going THIS way! 00:06:06.400 --> 00:06:09.520 Some creatures will... Shut the fuck up, text... 00:06:09.520 --> 00:06:11.080 [Alien sound thing] 00:06:11.080 --> 00:06:16.720 OH! *swedish curses* I don't... 00:06:16.720 --> 00:06:20.000 All right, uhm...... next game 00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:22.360 [MUSIC] 00:06:22.360 --> 00:06:23.880 [INTENSIFIED MUSIC] 00:06:23.880 --> 00:06:29.640 On second though, I think this game is... Pretty good actually. 00:06:29.640 --> 00:06:32.420 Hey, how you doing, what's your name? 00:06:32.420 --> 00:06:33.480 Lisa! 00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:39.600 Wow, jeez, don't do that. Do not do that, Do NOT do... 00:06:40.960 --> 00:06:42.760 How you doin' down there? 00:06:42.760 --> 00:06:45.680 Keep doing your thing, you're doing a great job! 00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:48.520 Hello, hello. Welcome to... 00:06:48.520 --> 00:06:50.680 "Don't tell Marzia Productions" 00:06:50.680 --> 00:06:52.680 [MUSIC] 00:06:52.680 --> 00:06:54.000 [MORE MUSIC] 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:57.920 OK, next.. next one, Danny lov... Danny loves this one! 00:06:57.920 --> 00:06:59.280 [annoying music] 00:06:59.280 --> 00:07:01.800 wow, what a good game. 00:07:01.800 --> 00:07:05.120 [annoying music] 00:07:05.120 --> 00:07:07.640 wow 00:07:07.640 --> 00:07:09.640 Oh, I'm going this way. 00:07:09.640 --> 00:07:11.880 [Annoying music] 00:07:11.880 --> 00:07:14.960 And now I'm going... this way! 00:07:14.960 --> 00:07:17.280 Oh, I see! 00:07:17.280 --> 00:07:21.280 [Annoying music] 00:07:21.280 --> 00:07:23.000 [Music stops] 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:25.040 [Annoying music continues] 00:07:25.040 --> 00:07:26.960 [Music stops] 00:07:26.960 --> 00:07:28.440 So, you go forward... 00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:30.000 Oh, swing your arms! 00:07:30.000 --> 00:07:33.680 Oh! Okay, NOW it makes sense! 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:38.160 Holy SHIT I'm fast! Holy fuck I'm good. 00:07:38.160 --> 00:07:41.320 [Awkward sounds] 00:07:41.320 --> 00:07:43.240 wow 00:07:45.080 --> 00:07:47.320 Wow, this is so cool! 00:07:51.400 --> 00:07:52.880 Take me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 00:07:54.920 --> 00:07:58.280 [Music again...] 00:07:58.280 --> 00:07:59.760 WHOOOOOOOOO! 00:07:59.760 --> 00:08:01.200 That was cool! 00:08:01.200 --> 00:08:04.880 Oh my god, I killed a deer... I killed another one. 00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:08.760 I feel sick. 00:08:08.760 --> 00:08:11.040 [MUSIC!!!] 00:08:12.400 --> 00:08:14.280 I found... the best game of all time 00:08:14.280 --> 00:08:16.440 by the way, no joke, no joke this time! 00:08:16.440 --> 00:08:18.810 No jo- Not this time! 00:08:18.810 --> 00:08:21.280 No, no, no! Not this time... 00:08:21.280 --> 00:08:23.200 Trump simulator, VR! Let's go. 00:08:23.200 --> 00:08:27.840 OK, so I'm Trump, right? Okay, so... Hey! Hey it's Trump! 00:08:27.840 --> 00:08:31.760 I believe, I am, de Trump *laughs awkwardly* 00:08:31.760 --> 00:08:34.320 I'm so beautiful! [Female voice] Mister Truuump, 00:08:34.320 --> 00:08:37.389 [P]: yes. [Female voice] Mister Truump, you're on stage in fiiiiiiive. 00:08:37.389 --> 00:08:39.419 [P]: *Trump impression* eh, excuse me? [Female voice] I made a todo list for ya. 00:08:39.440 --> 00:08:44.880 [P]: Exc... Ugh! [woman] If you could just get through, that - that would be greaat. 00:08:44.880 --> 00:08:48.720 [P]: *Trump impression* It's so good to be Trump, I... This is the worst Trump impression ever. 00:08:48.960 --> 00:08:52.880 *Trump impression* But m8, I Iook good, ay you can't say I don't look good. 00:08:52.880 --> 00:08:54.880 *Trump impression continues* How good do Iook I Imma Trump 00:08:55.600 --> 00:08:58.960 'Scuse me. 'Scuse me. 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:02.560 *deepthroat* ah, ah, ah, oh 00:09:02.560 --> 00:09:05.360 Oh my god we got STEAK! The Trump steak! 00:09:05.760 --> 00:09:11.280 Oh my, I've always... I've always wanted to have a Trump steak. 00:09:13.040 --> 00:09:15.040 I can't reach it! 00:09:18.160 --> 00:09:20.640 fuck! 00:09:20.640 --> 00:09:23.120 I can't, It's not fair! *Trump honk* 00:09:23.120 --> 00:09:27.520 *Actual Trump* China. President. Make. I. wall. 00:09:27.520 --> 00:09:29.520 (silence) 00:09:30.400 --> 00:09:32.400 (builds to music) 00:09:32.400 --> 00:09:34.400 [Music] 00:09:34.400 --> 00:09:35.680 [Music] 00:09:35.680 --> 00:09:37.920 [Bar crowd] 00:09:37.920 --> 00:09:40.160 [NPC hurt sound, applause] 00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:41.460 [NPC hurt sound] 00:09:41.760 --> 00:09:43.200 Get my beer! 00:09:43.200 --> 00:09:44.720 Yeah! 00:09:44.720 --> 00:09:45.680 Get dat POWA! 00:09:45.680 --> 00:09:46.960 ["Mortal Kombat"] 00:09:48.400 --> 00:09:54.640 The drift, Jaegertack, based on DARPA jet-fighter neural systems. 00:09:54.640 --> 00:09:57.280 Two pilots mind-melding through 00:09:57.280 --> 00:10:00.560 memories with the body of a giant machine 00:10:00.560 --> 00:10:04.240 the deeper the bond... the better you fight. 00:10:04.240 --> 00:10:06.240 *Mortal Kombat theme* 00:10:06.240 --> 00:10:11.360 *sounds of fighting exertion* 00:10:11.360 --> 00:10:13.200 fuck you mate, fuck you 00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:14.080 *fighting sounds* 00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:16.480 That's right, I - I'll fight you both at the same time! *intense fighting* 00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:18.480 At the same god damn time! *intense fighting* 00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:20.480 I'm KongFuMasta. *intense fighting* 00:10:21.280 --> 00:10:23.280 What you want, what you want? 00:10:23.300 --> 00:10:27.400 Arghhh.. Ahhhh.. 00:10:27.400 --> 00:10:29.100 ahhh 00:10:30.300 --> 00:10:32.560 А...А.....а.......а....