WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:06.980
*EPIC MUSIC*

00:00:06.980 --> 00:00:09.300
YEAR: 2974

00:00:09.300 --> 00:00:11.540
*Rolling*

00:00:11.780 --> 00:00:12.900
*tent ruffling*

00:00:12.900 --> 00:00:15.880
You didn't see me, but here I am.

00:00:15.960 --> 00:00:18.520
BeastMaster64™

00:00:18.520 --> 00:00:23.300
*DIFFERENT EPIC MUSIC*

00:00:24.340 --> 00:00:25.660
*Eating grass*

00:00:26.900 --> 00:00:29.480
It's been a thousand years since Trump drained the water ..

00:00:29.740 --> 00:00:31.120
I'm running out of time...

00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:33.000
*COUGH* *spits grass* *DISGUSTED*

00:00:33.200 --> 00:00:34.000
I need water!

00:00:34.400 --> 00:00:35.700
I NEED A WATER SOM---

00:00:36.260 --> 00:00:36.760
HELLO

00:00:37.720 --> 00:00:39.400
I'M SO THIRSTY !

00:00:39.820 --> 00:00:41.740
I'm pissing dust...

00:00:41.800 --> 00:00:43.880
I don't have much time left...

00:00:44.380 --> 00:00:46.300
There's only one way...

00:00:46.480 --> 00:00:47.040
*COUGH*

00:00:48.280 --> 00:00:49.560
Pray to the goddess

00:00:51.560 --> 00:00:53.000
*Apocalypto Music Plays*

00:01:02.720 --> 00:01:04.200
*He is praying to Jaguar Paw*

00:01:04.240 --> 00:01:06.400
OWOOHHWHHEWAA!!!!

00:01:06.960 --> 00:01:13.000
OWHHHEEE AAHHH OOHHH

00:01:14.000 --> 00:01:21.000
*moans and groans*

00:01:21.300 --> 00:01:22.700
(cries) GODDESS!

00:01:23.360 --> 00:01:24.560
Grant me this wish

00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:26.560
*Marina Joyce Voice*

00:01:27.480 --> 00:01:27.980
The gift of...

00:01:28.600 --> 00:01:29.740
LIFE!

00:01:34.940 --> 00:01:37.020
I'm a buddhist (MARINA JOYCE)

00:01:37.500 --> 00:01:38.300
OH MAY GAWD!

00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:39.760
Thank you so much!

00:01:39.760 --> 00:01:40.900
love you so much!

00:01:41.300 --> 00:01:42.700
The Marina straw

00:01:42.700 --> 00:01:44.080
A legendary loot!

00:01:45.280 --> 00:01:45.920
*drinks*

00:01:47.620 --> 00:01:49.000
Taste just like her

00:01:49.000 --> 00:01:50.000
The marina straw

00:01:50.600 --> 00:01:53.880
filters any form of liquid with this

00:01:53.880 --> 00:01:55.900
I might make it out alive

00:01:56.040 --> 00:01:59.560
Now we just have to find something liquid right there

00:01:59.920 --> 00:02:01.680
you see that?

00:02:06.140 --> 00:02:07.820
I'm not gonna be sick, am I?

00:02:09.200 --> 00:02:10.320
You've tested this?

00:02:10.500 --> 00:02:11.860
Yeah? (not sure)

00:02:11.960 --> 00:02:14.200
DOCUMENTARY BRAD HOW DID YOU MAKE IT BACK?

00:02:14.240 --> 00:02:15.200
Brad: I'm alive!

00:02:16.000 --> 00:02:19.040
we must bless the choice *throws petals in*

00:02:19.040 --> 00:02:21.200
*mixing the water with the petals*

00:02:21.200 --> 00:02:22.360
*drinks and swallow it*

00:02:30.260 --> 00:02:31.200
OH SHIT! WRONG END

00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:32.320
SHIT SHIT SHIT

00:02:33.780 --> 00:02:34.280
AHH

00:02:34.500 --> 00:02:35.380
SWEET WATER!

00:02:40.320 --> 00:02:41.400
I'M GONNA LIVE

00:02:43.440 --> 00:02:44.720
*gags*

00:02:49.440 --> 00:02:52.160
that was some great juice but I need more

00:02:52.640 --> 00:02:54.640
I've had this bottle of bleach

00:02:54.640 --> 00:02:57.380
I wonder could the marina stick filter it ?

00:02:58.040 --> 00:02:59.320
YES.

00:02:59.320 --> 00:03:03.660
It's either that or I'm dying but what's the f*cking difference?

00:03:11.220 --> 00:03:12.100
What's this?

00:03:12.560 --> 00:03:13.060
*picks up a jar*

00:03:13.640 --> 00:03:16.980
I could use this fo-for my bleach

00:03:17.620 --> 00:03:19.980
GIVE ME DA BLEACH!

00:03:20.760 --> 00:03:21.400
GIMME DAT

00:03:22.180 --> 00:03:23.300
IT'S MAH BLEACH!

00:03:24.580 --> 00:03:25.860
MAH PRECIOUS JUICE

00:03:28.180 --> 00:03:29.540
*pours mighty bleach*

00:03:29.740 --> 00:03:30.380
*drinks*

00:03:37.220 --> 00:03:38.020
*swallows manly*

00:03:40.720 --> 00:03:41.520
does it look gay?

00:03:50.720 --> 00:03:52.400
this is a tough one to filter

00:03:52.640 --> 00:03:54.000
its almost like it's lethal to drinking

00:03:54.700 --> 00:03:56.000
*laughs*

00:03:57.300 --> 00:04:01.920
hmmmm hmmm ooooohhhhhhhhhh

00:04:01.920 --> 00:04:04.200
*cough*

00:04:05.060 --> 00:04:05.860
the bleach!

00:04:05.860 --> 00:04:07.100
the source of life!

00:04:07.660 --> 00:04:09.020
*kisses the bleach*

00:04:09.020 --> 00:04:10.600
(actually it's lemon juice don't bother)

00:04:13.920 --> 00:04:15.360
I drank all the liquid

00:04:17.160 --> 00:04:19.080
there's only one source left

00:04:20.500 --> 00:04:21.000
blood

00:04:21.260 --> 00:04:22.720
I have to kill someone.

00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:25.280
meanwhile, a word from our sponsor

00:04:37.820 --> 00:04:38.700
We're sponsored by Lootcrate

00:04:38.700 --> 00:04:41.360
This is last month's crate Antihero

00:04:41.740 --> 00:04:42.540
from August

00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:47.800
Lootcrate services change every month on the --- 19th.

00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:50.400
September's theme will be SPEED

00:04:50.820 --> 00:04:51.320
mmhmm.....

00:04:51.320 --> 00:04:52.880
I wonder what that could be..

00:04:53.000 --> 00:04:56.200
SONIC? FLASH? KEEM

00:04:58.100 --> 00:05:02.440
let's cheCK INSIDE OHH MAH GAAWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD

00:05:02.600 --> 00:05:04.780
First, we have a t-shirt

00:05:04.780 --> 00:05:05.940
*looks at the t-shirt*

00:05:05.940 --> 00:05:07.500
Do you know where this is from?

00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:11.500
Archer! That's right.

00:05:11.560 --> 00:05:14.120
Michael do you want the *throws t-shirt*  Michael: yeeee thank you

00:05:14.920 --> 00:05:15.800
oh mah gawd

00:05:17.100 --> 00:05:17.600
SOCKS!

00:05:17.600 --> 00:05:20.380
I've never had socks before in mah life

00:05:20.380 --> 00:05:20.980
kill bill socks

00:05:21.280 --> 00:05:22.720
Does dogs wears socks?

00:05:24.060 --> 00:05:25.100
well they do now

00:05:25.200 --> 00:05:26.520
HEHAHAHA

00:05:26.700 --> 00:05:28.400
Harley Quinn figurine

00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:30.840
Put it on the Lootcrate shelf

00:05:34.740 --> 00:05:35.860
*champion song*

00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:37.000
HELL BOY

00:05:37.160 --> 00:05:38.060
More like HELL YEAH

00:05:38.260 --> 00:05:39.380
It's a money bank!

00:05:40.100 --> 00:05:41.300
We need one of those

00:05:41.300 --> 00:05:43.280
It's perfect and it's brofist!

00:05:45.100 --> 00:05:46.220
*champion song*

00:05:46.620 --> 00:05:48.420
Oh mah gawd there's--there's a pin!

00:05:48.580 --> 00:05:52.200
does dogs wear pins? here we go alright

00:05:52.660 --> 00:05:53.300
*laughs*

00:05:53.680 --> 00:05:54.680
I'll put it on the scarf

00:05:54.800 --> 00:05:55.500
shit!

00:05:55.500 --> 00:05:56.780
*edgar can't breathe*

00:05:57.180 --> 00:05:57.680
okay!

00:05:57.680 --> 00:05:58.580
congratulations

00:05:58.580 --> 00:06:01.220
you're official sell out, how does it feel?

00:06:06.100 --> 00:06:07.020
great

00:06:08.000 --> 00:06:11.220
alright whatta whata bomb--bomb ass box

00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:16.020
remember to check out lootcrate.com/pewds

00:06:16.320 --> 00:06:17.680
enter the code: PEWDS

00:06:18.940 --> 00:06:20.140
you get 10% off

00:06:20.220 --> 00:06:21.340
*champion song*

00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:29.640
You didn't see me but neither did he

00:06:35.400 --> 00:06:36.600
it's time to drink

00:06:43.180 --> 00:06:46.680
*sucking noise*

00:06:46.940 --> 00:06:49.260
Is it gay to drink from another man?

00:06:49.300 --> 00:06:51.220
tastes like survival

00:06:53.760 --> 00:06:56.000
That's just like my dad

00:06:57.280 --> 00:06:58.800
wait--wait a minute!

00:07:00.300 --> 00:07:01.900
It's fake blood! *SLAPS *

00:07:01.900 --> 00:07:04.800
YOU'RE NOT EVEN DEAD, ARE YOU?! YOU F*CKIN BITCH! *Michael laughs*

00:07:04.900 --> 00:07:07.680
I GOT A REPUTATION TO PROTECT HERE! GET UP!

00:07:08.320 --> 00:07:09.360
GET THE FUCK OUT!

00:07:09.360 --> 00:07:10.900
BET YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE MARINA!

00:07:10.900 --> 00:07:12.480
that was three weeks of dinner

00:07:12.560 --> 00:07:13.560
dammit

00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:14.440
f*ck

00:07:14.820 --> 00:07:17.640
there's only one thing left

00:07:18.240 --> 00:07:18.740
ME

00:07:22.540 --> 00:07:25.800
bloody bleach mah favorite

00:07:26.160 --> 00:07:28.320
it's time fo--to drink my own juice

00:07:29.840 --> 00:07:30.560
the source of that

00:07:32.180 --> 00:07:35.140
can you see my dick?

00:07:35.500 --> 00:07:38.340
*pewds peeing*

00:07:38.340 --> 00:07:40.100
Michael: are you pissing right now?

00:07:40.520 --> 00:07:41.020
Yeah

00:07:41.020 --> 00:07:43.400
Michael: That's really weird [laughs]

00:07:43.800 --> 00:07:46.640
Oh shit I have I'm I--I I had a lot more than I thought!

00:07:50.120 --> 00:07:51.400
yeah boys! (Michael: oooohhh)

00:07:54.680 --> 00:07:57.000
COME ON, MEN! COME ON!

00:08:04.020 --> 00:08:04.660
*drinks*

00:08:10.460 --> 00:08:12.860
that is not filtered fucking hell

00:08:18.960 --> 00:08:19.760
*throws up*

00:08:20.020 --> 00:08:22.260
that's some good shit I can filter this

00:08:22.900 --> 00:08:25.600
*drinking from his spit on the grass* OH THAT'S GOOD

00:08:25.640 --> 00:08:27.880
Michael: But your piss is soo dark, man!

00:08:27.880 --> 00:08:30.220
Michael: You need to drink a glass of water

00:08:30.300 --> 00:08:31.700
That's healthy! That's healthy!

00:08:31.700 --> 00:08:34.380
Michael: Glass like it-- It's almost black

00:08:34.980 --> 00:08:36.580
No it's a good it's a good shade

00:08:36.740 --> 00:08:38.200
Marina would approve

00:08:38.480 --> 00:08:39.400
I have deal to meet survival

00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:43.880
there's only one thing left to do

00:08:47.940 --> 00:08:51.460
*stuck* I need to go to another planet!

00:08:51.720 --> 00:08:53.000
*runs while stuck*

00:08:53.000 --> 00:08:55.020
There's no life substance here! *sits*

00:08:55.580 --> 00:08:58.420
*flies away like a rocket*

00:08:59.420 --> 00:09:01.400
PAPA Pewds! AaaAaaaAAAHH

00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:12.260
REMEMBER to check out lootcrate.com/pewds

00:09:12.300 --> 00:09:15.300
enter the code : PEWDS 
you get ten percent off