WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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'Twas was a night before christmas

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When all through the house.

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not a creature was starring.

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except for Santa.

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Who was dying.

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*groans*

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I'm dying.

00:00:17.620 --> 00:00:19.220
The YouTube algorithm.

00:00:19.840 --> 00:00:20.740
*coughs*

00:00:21.320 --> 00:00:22.940
It's killing Santa.

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All of the elves are dead.

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All of them..

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reindeers are dead.

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Even Rudolph.

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Nothing can save me..

00:00:35.560 --> 00:00:38.220
Christmas is surely doomed.

00:00:38.220 --> 00:00:41.200
Edgar: There is one cure known to mankind.

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Pewds: Ohh..

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Edgar: Grandma's old christmas cake

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has been known to cure many disease

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at christmas time.

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Pewds: In order to save christmas,

00:00:48.700 --> 00:00:53.580
you must first save Santa Claus.

00:00:53.820 --> 00:00:56.000
Don't worry Santa, it's all gonna be fine.

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Edgar's on it.

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*dying Santa coughs hard*

00:01:00.080 --> 00:01:02.080
 

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Here we go.

00:01:20.720 --> 00:01:23.240
Let's get.. Let's get it right here.

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One flour, here we go.

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Okay.

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Oh boy.

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Fuck, I can't wrap it.

00:01:31.020 --> 00:01:33.100
Oh, I got it, I got it, here we go.

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Fuck.

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Alright, there we go.

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Perfect.

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First ingredient in grandma's recipe is flour.

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Grandma used to be a flour.

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Moving on..

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Now let's be very careful

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with the eggs.

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Anything could happen at-

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Second ingredient is eggs.

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Cuz' grandma loves- loves eggs.

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Gentle

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Gentle

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Gentle

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Got it.

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Santa's gonna feel great.

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Santa's gonna feel so good.

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And now, oh shit.

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Oopsy.

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Now-

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Get a hint of salt.

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You ready?

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One...

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Two...

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Nailed it!

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Got 'em

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Grandma's secret stash:

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Herbs.

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It makes you feel nice and warm.

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Grandma knew how to have-

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find the dank shit

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Grandma was a little of a drinker.

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And by little bit,

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I mean

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Holy shit.

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Da- damn I'm not wasted.

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Shit.

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No.

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Alright, here we go.

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There ya go, perfect.

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Just as it was intended.

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Now this

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Mix it up a little bit.

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Let's give it a good sniff.

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Oh yeah.

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Next ingredient!

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Every christmas was a sad memory

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because grandma was alcoholic.

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but we have to honor her recipe

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Ohhh...

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Wow...

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Pour it a little bit, there you go, more.

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Next ingredient!

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Grandma was also addicted to class A drugs.

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She loved heroine, cocaine, and

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any pills you can find, really.

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Santa, have a lil' taste.

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You- you gotta pour it a little bit for me, buddy.

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So good...

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Once this is in the oven,

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I'm sure I will be a 100%

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but until then,

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*groans*

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I'm dying.

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Hey, by the way Santa, what did you get me for christmas?

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That's funny you should ask, Edgar.

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A loot anime.

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Wanna open it together?

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Edgar: Yes! A sponsored lootcrate.

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That will do just great.

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Okay, the first item..

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is..

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Ichigo Kurosaki!

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Pants!

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Oh my god, you love pants!

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So much that he goes away *laughs*

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Oh my god, its Ichigo

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my favorite Naruto character.

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There ya go Edgar!

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Woah, what is this?

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Oh my god, I love these!

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These are ancient scrolls.

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A- a scroll!

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A magical scroll!

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You've earned it!

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*giggles*

00:05:07.400 --> 00:05:08.620
Oooh, what is this?

00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:11.020
It's a manga!

00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:12.720
Sword Art Online

00:05:13.120 --> 00:05:14.000
that's cool!

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I wanna read this one.

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Lootcrate exclusive!

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So it's like an OVA?

00:05:18.500 --> 00:05:19.500
Edgar: You fuckin' nerd.

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*pewds laughs*

00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:22.080
Ooooh!

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Fuck yeah!

00:05:23.620 --> 00:05:26.120
Okay this is Berserk, one of my favorite anime.

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It's a blade letter opener.

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WOAHH!

00:05:29.580 --> 00:05:31.760
That's cool! It's his sword!

00:05:32.080 --> 00:05:33.980
This sword is like the most badass sword

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in any like, fiction- fiction I've ever read about.

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It's so cool.

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Woah

00:05:38.560 --> 00:05:41.160
Is this an anime poster?

00:05:43.140 --> 00:05:43.640
Oh yeah

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I'll definitely put this on my wall.

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The final ingredient that we've been looking for!

00:05:47.960 --> 00:05:48.840
You found it!

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*cough*

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Oh, I'm still dying

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but there's a way to save another way to save Santa.

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S-sign up between November 28 and December 27

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to get December's theme galaxy

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It's got stuff from Cowboy Bebop and Sailor Moon.

00:06:03.780 --> 00:06:06.120
Go to lootcrate.com/pewds

00:06:06.120 --> 00:06:07.100
Enter the code: pewds

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and save 10%

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Now,

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Hurry.

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I must be fast

00:06:12.420 --> 00:06:13.300
and more safe

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I did it.

00:06:16.080 --> 00:06:17.400
It's ready to go

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in the oven.

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Here we go.

00:06:27.760 --> 00:06:29.360
Jesus Christ.

00:06:33.720 --> 00:06:36.760
It must be cooked for 7 minutes and 77 seconds.

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Hold on Santa! I will save you!

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It's done!

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The masterpiece that will save Christmas.

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Fuck

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Luckily, there's one left.

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Let's see what Santa says about it.

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Oh what?

00:07:02.620 --> 00:07:03.500
Oh, help me

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Oh Edgar, you came for me

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Oh thank you Edgar.

00:07:14.140 --> 00:07:15.180
Christmas is safe!

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You saved my life.

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You saved me.

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I didn't save you

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I saved Christmas.

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No Edgar, I believe you owe me a face massage

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*pewds moans*

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oh Edgar...

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gentle..

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gentle, gentle please..

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ohh yeahh..

00:07:34.400 --> 00:07:35.120
ohhh.....

00:07:37.160 --> 00:07:37.660
No...

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*Sad moment*