WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en-GB

00:00:00.400 --> 00:00:01.040
IT'S TIME

00:00:01.480 --> 00:00:04.420
It's time for me to play a hard, real fucken hard game.

00:00:04.600 --> 00:00:05.400
AHH GEEZUS!

00:00:05.640 --> 00:00:07.520
And for me to do real extra well,

00:00:07.520 --> 00:00:09.340
I made sure cos I'm a pro-gamurr.

00:00:09.780 --> 00:00:11.020
I'm gonna put these...

00:00:11.220 --> 00:00:12.620
...on my balls ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

00:00:12.640 --> 00:00:13.280
*laughs*

00:00:13.960 --> 00:00:16.440
I literal- I was supposed to do nipples but I just changed my mind.

00:00:16.440 --> 00:00:17.880
I'm putting them on my balls.

00:00:18.260 --> 00:00:20.480
*a very confident Swedish guy with hard rock testicles*

00:00:20.720 --> 00:00:22.480
*maybe pewds is horny idk*

00:00:23.220 --> 00:00:25.100
The- I realised this is a little wierd

00:00:25.440 --> 00:00:28.160
for me to... do- be doing this on camera.

00:00:28.500 --> 00:00:29.540
Oh no...

00:00:30.240 --> 00:00:31.940
OHH *laughs* (pewds liking it)

00:00:31.940 --> 00:00:35.680
Okay they- I will-- I'm not lying these are attached to my nuts.

00:00:35.680 --> 00:00:37.200
Now if I die in the game...

00:00:37.800 --> 00:00:38.840
I die in real life ;-;

00:00:38.840 --> 00:00:41.320
I mean, I get electrified on my balls.

00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:44.040
I'm legit scared (don't be a pussy pls)

00:00:44.480 --> 00:00:47.420
Aww fuck, I don't even remember how you fucking play.

00:00:48.180 --> 00:00:48.680
BOOM

00:00:48.900 --> 00:00:49.540
BOOM BOOM

00:00:50.180 --> 00:00:52.040
Ohmygawd, I almost died already.

00:00:53.440 --> 00:00:53.940
*scream of fear*

00:00:55.960 --> 00:00:57.860
Okaaay, I'm still alive somehow \( OAO )/

00:00:58.660 --> 00:00:59.640
HEARGHHHH

00:01:00.120 --> 00:01:01.100
*rly fearing of getting his balls zapped*

00:01:01.840 --> 00:01:02.340
BALLS (?)

00:01:03.360 --> 00:01:03.860
BOOM

00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:05.340
*hyperventilating/panting*

00:01:05.600 --> 00:01:07.320
*RIP toasted burnt hairy Swedish meatballs*

00:01:07.660 --> 00:01:08.400
NO *laughs* *in state of denial*

00:01:08.420 --> 00:01:10.040
CMON WE WERE BARELY JUST GETTING STA-

00:01:10.040 --> 00:01:12.600
-okay okay fine, y'know wat how bad can it be? :)

00:01:12.940 --> 00:01:15.180
*suspense music kicks in*

00:01:15.180 --> 00:01:16.900
(suspense indeed)

00:01:16.900 --> 00:01:18.100
(h0ld on papa peudsz)

00:01:18.440 --> 00:01:19.020
HOW

00:01:19.480 --> 00:01:19.980
BAD

00:01:20.260 --> 00:01:21.620
...can it really be?

00:01:21.860 --> 00:01:23.900
(you sure about that?)

00:01:26.080 --> 00:01:27.840
How bad, I mean c'mon! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:29.600
How bad can it really be-

00:01:29.600 --> 00:01:31.120
*in agony* OHH OH JE-

00:01:31.760 --> 00:01:34.320
(oh how you were so wrong)

00:01:34.600 --> 00:01:35.800
ee- OHH OH FUCK

00:01:35.920 --> 00:01:36.740
JESUS

00:01:38.300 --> 00:01:39.540
GODDAMMIT

00:01:40.940 --> 00:01:41.780
I'm not doing that. (the fans are begging for more)

00:01:41.780 --> 00:01:42.860
I'm not doing the balls.

00:01:42.920 --> 00:01:44.080
I'll do- I'll do at my nose.

00:01:44.560 --> 00:01:45.060
BOOM

00:01:45.220 --> 00:01:45.860
BOOM BOOM

00:01:46.700 --> 00:01:47.200
BOOM

00:01:47.660 --> 00:01:48.460
BOOM BOOM

00:01:48.840 --> 00:01:49.340
Hell...

00:01:49.400 --> 00:01:50.200
...YEAAAH!

00:01:50.800 --> 00:01:51.300
FUCK

00:01:51.660 --> 00:01:52.160
*orgasm*

00:01:53.360 --> 00:01:54.320
*second orgasm*

00:01:54.660 --> 00:01:55.700
*major ejaculation*

00:01:55.840 --> 00:01:57.140
So I gotta make the turns

00:01:57.320 --> 00:01:58.340
and hit the right points,

00:01:58.560 --> 00:01:59.900
and if I don't do it right.

00:02:00.240 --> 00:02:02.520
*finish your sentence ffs*

00:02:02.920 --> 00:02:03.960
OH SHIT I fucked up.

00:02:05.620 --> 00:02:06.180
*in disbelief*

00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:07.280
What happened?

00:02:08.880 --> 00:02:09.620
*experiencing a slight shock*

00:02:10.340 --> 00:02:11.220
AH SHIT

00:02:11.700 --> 00:02:12.420
WHAT THE F- AHH (get zapped biatch)

00:02:12.540 --> 00:02:13.400
There it is~

00:02:14.280 --> 00:02:15.240
AHHHH~ ( °///▽///° )

00:02:16.060 --> 00:02:16.680
*high on flakka*

00:02:17.260 --> 00:02:18.840
Come on! I see the butthole ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

00:02:19.440 --> 00:02:20.540
*reaction after finally going through the butthole ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*

00:02:20.940 --> 00:02:22.060
F--FUCK YEAH

00:02:22.880 --> 00:02:23.840
Did it, C rank.

00:02:26.520 --> 00:02:27.020
AWHH

00:02:28.020 --> 00:02:29.760
This is what a real gamer looks like.

00:02:31.520 --> 00:02:32.080
*snort*

00:02:32.340 --> 00:02:33.220
SHHHIIIT

00:02:33.460 --> 00:02:34.640
BOOM BOOM AWACGIHBASDFGHJ

00:02:34.860 --> 00:02:35.820
BOOM BOOM BOOM

00:02:38.520 --> 00:02:39.200
NOOOOO

00:02:39.620 --> 00:02:41.340
NAWWW WHY THE SPIEKS!

00:02:41.340 --> 00:02:44.540
How does this work? Cos sometimes I don't feel anything and sometimes...

00:02:45.080 --> 00:02:46.420
*sudden seizure attack*

00:02:46.480 --> 00:02:46.980
GOD

00:02:47.420 --> 00:02:47.980
DAMN IT!

00:02:48.120 --> 00:02:50.420
A'ight well, I mean it's- it's made for the nipples.

00:02:50.500 --> 00:02:51.200
(Pewds'a masochist confirmed)

00:02:51.500 --> 00:02:53.160
I just wanna be a good gamer :(

00:02:54.980 --> 00:02:55.700
OHH YEAHHH *horny ftw*

00:02:55.740 --> 00:02:57.020
*shocked* Ahhh, fuck

00:02:57.020 --> 00:02:57.640
*second shock*

00:02:57.640 --> 00:02:58.340
Djeesuz.

00:02:58.860 --> 00:03:01.320
Okay, it's Wörkeing.

00:03:01.920 --> 00:03:03.000
LET'S DO THIS

00:03:03.000 --> 00:03:03.500
*cue le epic synth bgm*

00:03:03.500 --> 00:03:04.000
HEHHH

00:03:04.480 --> 00:03:04.980
HOOO

00:03:05.260 --> 00:03:05.760
OHHH

00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:06.580
NOOO

00:03:06.980 --> 00:03:09.980
Left turn! Right turn! Shit, fuckass.

00:03:10.420 --> 00:03:10.920
COMONN

00:03:11.800 --> 00:03:12.980
COMMONNE BEAAA

00:03:13.200 --> 00:03:13.700
PAAA

00:03:13.860 --> 00:03:14.360
PRRAAA

00:03:14.640 --> 00:03:16.940
PRAA PRAA PRA- PRRRRRRRAA
(sound pewds makin', when adrenaline rush kicks in)

00:03:17.120 --> 00:03:18.460
C'mon MY NIPPLES.

00:03:18.580 --> 00:03:20.260
I feel like such a badass!

00:03:20.740 --> 00:03:21.380
FUUUCK!

00:03:22.020 --> 00:03:22.520
FUUCK!

00:03:22.740 --> 00:03:24.020
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *minor epilepsy attack*

00:03:24.020 --> 00:03:25.080
AAAAAAAAAAA (you forced this upon yoself :v)

00:03:26.340 --> 00:03:27.500
*laughs*

00:03:28.580 --> 00:03:30.200
*inaudible* about my neighbours *inaudible*

00:03:30.520 --> 00:03:31.400
Poodiepiew...

00:03:32.560 --> 00:03:33.740
Let's share the pain.

00:03:35.800 --> 00:03:36.300
Huh?

00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:38.240
Doesn't work?

00:03:39.280 --> 00:03:39.780
Doesn't work-

00:03:39.960 --> 00:03:41.180
ARGHHHH GEEZUS

00:03:41.240 --> 00:03:42.660
PewDiePie 2016.

00:03:42.960 --> 00:03:44.360
I think we're ready for the balls...

00:03:44.900 --> 00:03:45.720
...again (just do it).

00:03:45.760 --> 00:03:47.000
What if I do my penis? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:48.000
Would that be weird? (nope)

00:03:48.160 --> 00:03:49.900
I think the peenus is a little to far.

00:03:50.060 --> 00:03:51.260
Okay let's do my ass.

00:03:51.880 --> 00:03:53.560
But I'm gonna do my ass...

00:03:53.860 --> 00:03:54.400
There we go!

00:03:54.400 --> 00:03:55.040
(poor cardboard cutout, the horror he can't unseen)

00:03:55.040 --> 00:03:56.480
There we go it's attached!

00:03:57.000 --> 00:03:57.600
There we go.

00:03:58.620 --> 00:03:59.120
OHH

00:03:59.340 --> 00:04:00.100
We are,

00:04:00.860 --> 00:04:02.940
We are locked and load baby [sic]

00:04:03.420 --> 00:04:05.380
I never been shocked in the arse before.

00:04:05.740 --> 00:04:06.700
I REALLY DON'T

00:04:06.860 --> 00:04:07.900
WANNA GET SHOCKED

00:04:08.060 --> 00:04:09.600
IN MY BUTTHOLE, alright?

00:04:09.880 --> 00:04:10.440
Come on.

00:04:11.280 --> 00:04:12.000
Fuck yeah!

00:04:12.660 --> 00:04:13.880
Wait it fell- it fell off.

00:04:14.580 --> 00:04:15.400
Romanian!

00:04:15.960 --> 00:04:16.720
Romanian slave: Ja?

00:04:16.780 --> 00:04:17.640
I need ju.

00:04:18.040 --> 00:04:18.680
Romanian!

00:04:18.680 --> 00:04:21.060
Romanian: *mumbles* what- are you doing? *laughs*

00:04:21.520 --> 00:04:23.200
I need you to tase my ass ;)

00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:25.540
*Romanian slave laughing*

00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:29.360
Yes if I die tase my ass, okay?

00:04:29.420 --> 00:04:30.940
Romanian slave: *laughs* Okay
Master: Okay?

00:04:31.120 --> 00:04:31.960
Romanian slave: Okay I'm ready.

00:04:32.080 --> 00:04:34.200
Go down, you gotta go lower.

00:04:34.820 --> 00:04:37.520
I won't fart, bet--okay- only if I die, okay?

00:04:37.820 --> 00:04:39.260
Hey, hey caerful! >A<

00:04:39.640 --> 00:04:40.880
I don't like that, you gotta-

00:04:42.200 --> 00:04:42.700
HEYYYY

00:04:42.860 --> 00:04:43.360
It's li-

00:04:43.580 --> 00:04:44.080
STOP!

00:04:44.080 --> 00:04:45.080
Give them- give them to me.

00:04:45.220 --> 00:04:45.720
Romanian slav: Do-

00:04:46.800 --> 00:04:47.980
Romanian slave: They, they don't *inaudible*

00:04:48.920 --> 00:04:49.480
Romanian slave: You're *inaudible* ?

00:04:49.800 --> 00:04:50.440
Romanian dude: AHHHH HAHAHHH~

00:04:50.440 --> 00:04:52.460
*laughs* you got zapped?

00:04:52.600 --> 00:04:54.200
Okay just put this on my ass then.

00:04:54.200 --> 00:04:55.260
Romanian guy: uh--Oh- okay.

00:04:55.440 --> 00:04:55.940
Romanian slave: Okay.

00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:57.060
Michael Bay: Let's try.

00:04:57.240 --> 00:04:58.940
*shock* AHH Iesus, fuckkkk.

00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:00.640
Is this gay, Romanian?

00:05:00.640 --> 00:05:01.140
Michael DeSanta: A little bit.

00:05:01.140 --> 00:05:02.980
A little bit, okay here we go!

00:05:03.280 --> 00:05:05.100
Don't zap me unless I die, okay!

00:05:05.320 --> 00:05:06.080
Thats ze rules!

00:05:06.520 --> 00:05:09.720
It's to- AHH shit shit, okay I'm not dead, I'm not dead, I lost a life!

00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:12.800
Don'tchu dare, this is so distracting Jesus Christ.

00:05:13.680 --> 00:05:15.340
(gonna do it anyway because fuck you)

00:05:15.820 --> 00:05:16.620
HEYYY HEY

00:05:16.740 --> 00:05:19.200
What the fuck is wrong with you, don't touch my ass!

00:05:19.980 --> 00:05:20.480
oHHH

00:05:21.640 --> 00:05:22.580
AHHH AHHHH *in misery*

00:05:22.680 --> 00:05:23.320
DJCHEEZUSS

00:05:24.000 --> 00:05:24.540
GIMME DAT

00:05:25.560 --> 00:05:26.120
GEDDAUT

00:05:26.640 --> 00:05:27.760
Get out *laughs*

00:05:28.360 --> 00:05:30.540
(here we see a Swedish man abusing his Romanian slave)

00:05:31.980 --> 00:05:33.840
Okay, how 'bout this, I'll just sit on it

00:05:34.040 --> 00:05:35.260
I don't need you Romanian.

00:05:35.700 --> 00:05:36.540
Michael H. Hart: Bye...

00:05:36.620 --> 00:05:37.120
PYE

00:05:37.480 --> 00:05:39.400
(pewds just came back from sauna)

00:05:39.780 --> 00:05:42.820
I think for me to really, truly improve in this game

00:05:43.560 --> 00:05:45.360
I need to look at the real masters.

00:05:46.580 --> 00:05:47.280
How they do it.

00:05:47.720 --> 00:05:48.920
Woman: Hi baby gurl.

00:05:49.220 --> 00:05:49.720
HI

00:05:50.040 --> 00:05:50.540
*creepy laugh*

00:05:50.860 --> 00:05:52.660
Middle-aged woman: Everything's okay, I promise ;)

00:05:52.660 --> 00:05:53.380
Thank Yew.

00:05:53.480 --> 00:05:54.220
Hopeless Romantic teen: I forgive you

00:05:54.220 --> 00:05:55.000
*deep nasal snort*

00:05:55.060 --> 00:05:56.180
I kept dying ya'kno?

00:05:56.180 --> 00:05:57.220
Guy: Everything's gonna be okay.

00:05:57.220 --> 00:05:57.900
Well it's not :(

00:05:58.120 --> 00:05:58.840
Pewds' BF: I LUF YEW

00:05:58.840 --> 00:05:59.480
THANK YOU

00:06:00.740 --> 00:06:01.740
Poods's trophy boy: ICH LIEBE DICH SO MUCH

00:06:01.740 --> 00:06:02.820
I mean I love you too.

00:06:03.300 --> 00:06:05.460
Pewds' virtual lover: I love you more than there are, grains of Sans.

00:06:05.460 --> 00:06:07.360
I- Grains of s- I was about to say that.

00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:09.360
Webcam secret lover: Every beach.
Pewds: every beach in the universe.

00:06:09.360 --> 00:06:11.240
Webcam secret lover: Every planet.
Pewds: And every planet.

00:06:11.500 --> 00:06:13.540
Webcam secret lover: Of every galaxy.
Pewds: Every galax-

00:06:13.540 --> 00:06:14.240
Partner-in-crime?: Of the universe.

00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:15.300
Ahhh thank you -w-)

00:06:16.240 --> 00:06:17.360
Wait what the f- shut the fuck up.

00:06:18.340 --> 00:06:19.080
What the fuck is this?

00:06:20.380 --> 00:06:21.320
*Bee Movie scene plays*
Barry B. Benson: God, she's my cousin!

00:06:21.320 --> 00:06:21.820
Adam Flayman: She is?

00:06:21.820 --> 00:06:22.620
Protagonist: Yes we're all cousins.

00:06:22.620 --> 00:06:23.160
Bespectacled bee: Right you're right.

00:06:23.160 --> 00:06:25.180
*bee movie continues playing*

00:06:25.180 --> 00:06:26.560
*inaudible bee movie dialogues*

00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:28.340
*pewds: smh*

00:06:29.060 --> 00:06:30.260
12 million views?

00:06:31.640 --> 00:06:32.140
Really?

00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:36.160
So this is where all my fucking views went, Jesus of Nazareth.

00:06:36.540 --> 00:06:37.040
OHH

00:06:37.360 --> 00:06:37.860
OUH-

00:06:38.120 --> 00:06:39.340
*pewds' suffering from Parkinson's*
OHH NOW I'M REAL PISSED

00:06:39.420 --> 00:06:40.860
Shitty Bee Movie memes...

00:06:41.980 --> 00:06:43.400
...are taking over my channel.

00:06:44.100 --> 00:06:45.840
Oohhh I gotta- wouhhh I gotta step it up now.

00:06:45.840 --> 00:06:46.980
Fffffuck you

00:06:47.340 --> 00:06:48.200
Bee Movie

00:06:49.480 --> 00:06:50.860
I'm doin this for my boyfriend. (told ya)

00:06:51.540 --> 00:06:52.920
I'm at the top of my career.

00:06:53.120 --> 00:06:54.400
I'm at the top of my gaem.

00:06:54.740 --> 00:06:56.200
This is some quality content.

00:06:56.360 --> 00:06:58.080
I'm sure you're thinking the same thing.

00:06:58.080 --> 00:07:00.440
*triggered* You're not gonna zap my ass today!

00:07:00.680 --> 00:07:01.460
NOT TODAY

00:07:01.760 --> 00:07:03.820
OR ANY DAY FOR THAT MATTER!

00:07:04.020 --> 00:07:05.440
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder!

00:07:05.660 --> 00:07:07.580
*Lucifer possessing pewds*

00:07:07.680 --> 00:07:09.820
*the unholy Satan using Pewds as His vessel*

00:07:09.980 --> 00:07:13.180
*panting*

00:07:15.180 --> 00:07:19.020
Doesn't feel that bad in the ass if you think about it cos like you have a lot more-

00:07:19.020 --> 00:07:19.880
-O! Jesus!

00:07:20.080 --> 00:07:20.580
(into Bee Movie memes, are you now?)

00:07:21.160 --> 00:07:23.940
[According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly]

00:07:23.940 --> 00:07:26.660
[Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.]

00:07:26.660 --> 00:07:29.540
[The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.]

00:07:29.540 --> 00:07:31.580
[Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.]

00:07:31.740 --> 00:07:33.100
*drunk pouds*
Bee moweeweedowt bees.

00:07:33.100 --> 00:07:35.600
[Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.]

00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:37.540
[Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming!
Hang on a second. Hello?]

00:07:37.580 --> 00:07:38.600
OHH I'M FURIOUS.

00:07:38.620 --> 00:07:41.900
Hey YouTube, where's all my suggested views, huh!?

00:07:42.300 --> 00:07:44.780
You're all going to, fucking Bee Movie!

00:07:44.920 --> 00:07:45.640
IS THAT WHY

00:07:46.100 --> 00:07:49.160
Is that why all my views right now, are so shit?

00:07:49.900 --> 00:07:51.340
HUH? ISZAT WHY

00:07:51.360 --> 00:07:53.980
MY SUGGESTED VIEWS ARE LESS THAN ONE PERCENT?

00:07:54.440 --> 00:07:56.360
WHEN THEY SHOULD [BEE] 58 PERCENT!

00:07:56.700 --> 00:07:59.600
IS THAT WHY I LOST HALF MY FUCKEN VIEWERS?

00:08:00.020 --> 00:08:02.980
YOUTUBE, FOR SHITTY BEE MOVIE SUGGESTIONS!

00:08:03.040 --> 00:08:05.100
THE THING THAT I BUILT FOR 84 YEARS

00:08:05.440 --> 00:08:07.220
YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL MAH CHANNEL YOUTUBE?

00:08:07.220 --> 00:08:08.700
BUT I'M NOT GONNA MAKE YOU STOP!

00:08:09.420 --> 00:08:10.800
Oh my fuck!

00:08:11.940 --> 00:08:16.340
*enraged and triggurd*

00:08:16.540 --> 00:08:17.160
Doesn't matter.

00:08:17.360 --> 00:08:18.780
What's the point of me even bee-ing here.

00:08:19.100 --> 00:08:20.780
My videos are fucking so low.

00:08:21.240 --> 00:08:23.040
(don't be sad pewds... ;-;)

00:08:23.080 --> 00:08:24.700
(we're here... ;w;)

00:08:25.040 --> 00:08:26.500
They removed the suggeseh-

00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:27.740
-suggested videos.

00:08:28.380 --> 00:08:29.060
*interval snort*

00:08:29.400 --> 00:08:30.900
It used to be 30%

00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:33.880
*very moving bgm*

00:08:35.180 --> 00:08:37.500
Suggested videos are zero decimal two.

00:08:37.840 --> 00:08:40.060
(actual tears)
(disheartening crisis)

00:08:40.780 --> 00:08:43.000
You know I used to think it was my shitty content.

00:08:43.900 --> 00:08:45.440
But it's clear that it's YouTube.

00:08:47.020 --> 00:08:48.080
Please leave a like.

00:08:49.320 --> 00:08:50.440
So that this video,

00:08:50.700 --> 00:08:51.260
will get

00:08:51.260 --> 00:08:51.760
views.

00:08:52.980 --> 00:08:54.120
Suggested videos.

00:08:55.360 --> 00:08:58.080
If you see this video on the sidebar please click on it.

00:08:59.020 --> 00:08:59.520
YouToob.

00:09:02.900 --> 00:09:03.460
Please.

00:09:04.400 --> 00:09:05.540
I'm setting it on max.

00:09:06.400 --> 00:09:17.100
*self-torture in process*

00:09:17.680 --> 00:09:20.200
AHHH HAAHAA HAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

00:09:20.200 --> 00:09:21.320
Broo- fi- fisst.

00:09:24.400 --> 00:09:25.920
fucken subs pls.

00:09:27.000 --> 00:09:28.480
watch more of pewds cringey shit pls

00:09:29.640 --> 00:09:38.020
According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!