WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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OW-OWOW-OW-OWOW AOW

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(Poods screams in absolute terror)

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Some player haters say...

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I'm too scared to play games...

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And to those people I say...

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(shows the finger) "Go play Bear Simulator" (swag)

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"...bitch."

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(Poods swagging it out)

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It's time to take off the Hater Blockers©™

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And get into the game

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(struggles with headphones)

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(Satan walks out, not giving a shit)

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Fuck yeah!

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Okay, I'm grabbing my guns

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(groans inappropriately)

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This game is called Arizona Sunshine

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It's supposed to be a super scary zombie game

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Sounds like a game for lil' girls

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(shoots self in the balls) (effectively ensures that he will never have little Pie children)

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Let's go!

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Okay, look at this! (super swaggity swig swag moves ensue)

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[oh wow, Poods]

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GOT 'EM!

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FUCK YEAH!

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[wowowowow]

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OH!

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Okay, watch this... [the amount of swag in this video astounds me]

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Okay, okay.

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*Gross moaning noises*

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OH WHAT'S UP! Oh, here we go. I'm a little scared. But being scared is only for... (pause) losers...

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This is so cool! I am in the desert of Arizona

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Oh my god, there's zombies coming. Oh my god, it's coming real fast! What the fuck, NO!

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The hell am I sitting on? Rocks? It's very comfy.

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You thought you could get ME? You thought you could playa hate? Too bad!

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What the fuck is this?! (laughs)

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I'm sorry

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What up! What's good, bitch. *Lucifer the fallen angel appears near the dining table*

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OH! OH! (laughs) This is amazing! Oh god, oh my god!

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Helvete! Oh, they got an- (screams indiscernably)

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OH JABLAR! Oh!

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Yeah, you like this? Yeah, yeah? You like that?

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What's that, that's my... THAT'S MY RESCUE!

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[I dunno about you man, but if I was stuck in a desert staving off zombies, shooting the rescue is the last thing I'd do... but whatever, you do you man]

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Why did I shoot it then? [asking the imp. questions here]

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JESUS! OH GOD!

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YEAH

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WIN, WIN, WIN NO MATTER WHAT.

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Get rekt, bitch

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Did you see that?

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[Aww yis, this is the quality content I am subscribed for]

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I'm sorry...

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OH YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD PULL A FAST ONE ON ME!

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(IT'S OUR QUEEN. SHE'S HERE. SOUND THE DRUMS!)

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AW JESUS

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OW

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I hit my knee (Marzia's still losing her shit)

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I'm sorry. -Why would you do that?

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I didn't see there... -OH MY GOD I'M DYING

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I'm so fucking good at games

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EDGAR, WTF

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Alright, fine, you know what? Do you wanna check it out?

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Yes. -It's your turn.

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To be as cool as I am. -I wanna... -I bet you're impressed to have such a cool boyfriend.

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Yeah, the farts made it all special [OHMYGOD LMAO]

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You saw those? -Yeah. -So, Marzia... -Yeah? -What would you say you're good at? (dramatic montage)

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...that woman are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy!

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Cars! -Cars? (she laughs) Wow that's, what a weird coincidence, 'cause we're playing an automobile repair game

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Yay! -Breaking all the gender stereotypes. -I'll be so good.

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You'll be better than I am. -I know my cars... you know? I know my stuff.

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Let's do it! -Alright, let's do this. You've never done this before, right? -Nope.

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Okay, how's this? -My face is kinda tight, my (laughs)

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You got your hand. -OH MY GOD! Oh my god, it's freaking me out. -Yeah.

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I don't wanna look at my hand. -I'll be using, I'm your right hand, left hand [make up yo mind Felix]

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This is crazy! -Hey!

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Oh my God this is (screams, laughs)

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and then pull it, yes!

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High five!

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Oh, it's dark. Are you sure it's not scary?

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100%. -OOOOH, ketchup!

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Okay, so open the garage. WOOHOO!

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Yay, look it's my car. -It's your car, literally.

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Ready to pick. What, what did I touch?

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Okay, ok, oh. Oil, where does the oil go?

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Wait, that's not the oil. That's the oil. -Of course, I knew that. [ofc ya did Felix]

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Oh, excuse me, I am a man. This is how you do it. -We did it, we did it. -Okay.

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Get off!

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Okay, let's open the car. -Do you wanna go inside the car?

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Get up! (laughs)

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-What is this? -We're going in the car! -No, we're gonna get toxicated

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Toxicated? -Is that a word? My face is sweating

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You change the board, there you go, which part... -Flowers! (Pewds almost gives up)

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Where do I put the flowers? -That's not how you fix cars Marzia! -Beautiful (laughs). -What are you doing?

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Beautiful! -How do you keep getting more flowers?

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Go get in the car. -Noooo...

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Why do you... NOOO, don't slow me down.

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(Pewds is shocked) Look what you did!

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Oh, the potato. The potato. Okay. The potato. -You didn't get to eat there? I think you can... what are you doing with the potato?

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Oh, really?

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Hey, hey, take this.

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Okay. -Wait, why is it not working? -Like frisbee... NO!

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Lots a.. -A potato. -Oh, lots of batteries.

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Yeah, we can get another battery. -Yeahhhh. -Really? -Yeahhhh. -That worked?

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Uh, now they have to pay I guess? -Okay. -Oh, print.

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Throw it to him. -Three, two... -No, on the right... right.

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Here.

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Alright, you did it! -I wanna play more! -You can't, but wow you did so well, Marzia, -Thank you. -You really have a talent for video games.

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And automobiles. -Thank you. Easy. -That's, I am amazed. No, please...

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Okay. (she giggles)

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What is that? Ooh, almost killed me!

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