WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

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Good meme, good ''intro"

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Today we're going to review greentext memes

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Yes, that's right(Subscribe me @ Dushyant Saraf)

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the funny reddit memes, people discovered that if you write on reddit with a

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greater than sign the text turns green!

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How cool is that? So people started using it for ways to write  f..funny stories or perhaps share embarrassing moments from their past

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if you don't know what I'm talking about here's a great example

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>Sex Ed teacher eight years ago told us to be careful when having sex.

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>Never have sex

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how about that one Mrs. Smith?

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That's right. How about that? (laugh*)

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Gotcha good didn't I!?(Laugh*)

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>Be at Swedish ship cruise

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>haven't defecated in a week week

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>*OOF* at least three giant python in the toilet

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>try to flush

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>not working.jpg

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>panic

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>try to flush again but *OOF* doesn't flush

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>look for a cleaner lady in the hallway

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>Swedish is really bad so grab the hand of cleaner and take her to the bathroom

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>try to flush and say "titta" (watch in Swedish) while push the flush button

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>*OOF* goes quite normally away

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??????!!!?!

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Did this happened to me?

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I feel like it had. it could have- it could have happened to the best of us.

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I feel like at least everyone has a really great *OOF* story. You know what I mean? (YASS DADY)

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>Watch several ISIS videos because I love gore.

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????

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Okay...

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>The song that plays in them gets stuck in my head

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>Start humming it to myself at work

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>Muslim co-worker puts his hand on my shoulder says "soon, brother. soon."

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>Lay in hospital bed

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>family is surrounding you

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>everyone crying

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>let out your tear

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>Life is flashing through your eyes

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>50 years of hardcore porn in one millisecond

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>nut all over everyone

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>your last words are

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* O O F *

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>Let out last breath

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>die

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This is why you all need to stop watching porn

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>be fat

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>Go to /fit/ and find a solution

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>Main problem is I eat like a dumpster

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>apparently things with loads of fiber is going to save my filthy soul

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>"Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you feeling full longer, and it helps with digestion"

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>Go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy breakfast bars

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>the first day I have fiber bars for breakfast lunch, and lots of snacks.

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>I don't *OOF* that day

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>next day I fiber myself up even more.

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>I don't *OOF* that day either

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>Fiber Jesus is surely worth his magic in my colon

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>Can feel pounds dropping off because I'm not very hungry anymore.

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>I don't *OOF* the third day

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>I don't *OOF* the fourth day

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>thefinaldaydawns.mp3

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>I have my morning coffee. I feel my insides rumble in that familiar way

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>The second I hit the toilet the weirdest fart in the world exits me

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>It's whistling

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>just a thin, continuous air stream of fart that smells like grandpapas coffin

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>no sound other than the whistling hiss

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>suddenly stops

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>the hole is plugged

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>SOS

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>this *OOF* is so solid it feels like I'm giving anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson

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>hang on the shower curtain and pray

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>the rock is shot out of my *OOF*hole at mach speed

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>my entire ass is covered in toilet water

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>now the fun begins

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>a fart that can-

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oh god jeezus

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>a fart that could do more damage to the ozone layer than aerosols ever did is shooting *OOF* bullets out of me

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>solid and perectly round nuggets

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>the smell is killing me

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>Blacking out

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>the thuds of nuggets shooting around the bowl propelled by my insane fiber

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>Flatulence is giving me war flashback.

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>iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg

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>My guts are yelling in German

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>sounds like a moose in heat lives in my belly

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>most of the *OOF* isn't even digested at this point

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>Just forced out by all the gas that I'd been building up by my throat

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>After an hour it finally seems to be over.

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>I'm shivering and crying

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>Both legs collapse as I try to stand up

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>My stomach hitting the bathroom tiles forces one last trumpet

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>Gondorcallsforaid.rar

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>Shakily wipes my ass

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>Completely clean

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>Go on akinator

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>say yes when asked if your character is a porn star

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>Answer in accordance to what you want your porn star to look like

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>Akinator gives you a hand-picked porn star to fit your pri- preferences

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Why do I wear the headphones?

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That's genius!

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akinator help me find my dream wife

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Does it work with anime girls?

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It's your character older than 18?

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*silent laugh*

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P R O B A B L Y

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Okay. Apparently, I have found my anime waifu

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Sorry Marzia.

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>Be year 2014, woman rule the world

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>Rihanna is their leader

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>Be stuck in conentration camp for men

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>Rihanna killing all the dudes because they found a way to reproduce without us

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group of us overpower gaurdesses

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>Be running

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>get surrounded

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>standoff.png

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>all of a sudden a masked hero appears with his schlong flapping in the wind

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>Beats up all the women

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>sets all the dudes free

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>wow many thanks

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>takes mask off

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It was Chris Brown

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O h

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I fucked up big time boys

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>Be happily married for six years

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>wife and I call each other cute pet names more than our real names

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>Introduce us both at a function.

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>"I'm Anon and this is my wife...uh..."

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>sweetfuckingchrist.jp-

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>tfw i don't remember her name

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>mfw she's making me sleep in the backyard

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how do i recover-

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*felix mating call*

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Got a story about this

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>Be 12

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>6th grade

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>really need to piss

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>excuse myself from band class

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>rush to bathroom

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>It's all the way on the other side of the school

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>Discretely holding my *OOF* closed as I do

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>arrive

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>Decide to kick down stall door like I'm in the movies.

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>It's *OOF* Occupied

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kid *OOF* frog style with both feet on the toilet seat

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>watching his turd quickly retract into his rectum like a scared turtle

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>the scare causes me to *OOF* myself

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>mfw

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>Make a friend while playing team fortress 2

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>Never really had a vidya friend before

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>we played together often talk about life a bit too

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>he mentions he's had a girlfriend for about four years

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>One day says he's going to propose to her

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>give him some encouragement

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>Next day he's online. He says she rejected him

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>tried to be supportive of him

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>He spirals into depression

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>spends all his time playing vidya for a few months

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>one day he tells me that he's planning to commit suicide

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>Talk to him for a few days see if he's really serious about it

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>Realize I can't talk him out of it. He stopped going to his job after his girlfriend dumped him, just became a recluse

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with no will to live

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>Wish him the best in the afterlife and say goodbye

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>last online: 1764 days ago

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>be gopnik

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>be effing dumb

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>need to form a sentence to get attention from people

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>Squat, so circulation to your legs actually denied

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>more blood go to your brain

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>You can actually make sentences

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>use it to lurk people closer

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>get up and start punching the *OOF* out of that

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That's right the reason Matty the SWAT is so you can have more blood into your pumped into your brain

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What are you stupid?

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This is the body movement of intellectuals true thinkers, but yeah, try out the green texting is really cool

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he works on every websites ever so just let me know if you had get on with it and

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Remember to like if you enjoyed check out another video and as always

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Pewdiepie with the six-oh win

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Taking over YouTube,Tryna get like him

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Brofist to the face

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Can you keep up with the pace?

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And i’m never gonna switch

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BUT CAN YOU DO THIS???

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How’s it going bros?

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Gotta get it like this

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When you wanna hit the flow

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Grinding like open up pop a top and never stop

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Run up in the city and i’m never gonna flop

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Tell me when to go i’m like whenever

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I’m done with this pass the mic to Edgar