I'm gonna do it
I'm gonna say the n word
Imma do it
I'm gonna pull out my meat scepter
No more meat scepter
*laughs*
H-h-hello there *look down shyly*
Pulls out meat scepter *laughs*
KEN-KUN!
huh?
K E N K U N ! ! !
P A P A
It's time to review Reddit!
Yeahh
Nice!
Woahh
Greentext is when people read funny stories and confessions in a format on Tumblr
I don't get it
As an example we have this one
Birthday is on New Year
Family forgot
Friends forgot
Sad
Nintendo emails me happy birthday
Feel better and play some Smash Bros
Thank you Nintendo
Pic related
Wholesome story
It's pretty much that level of a.. of pathetic most of them
It's kind of like, what do we do last time?
There's no meat scepter, as far as I'm concerned so far
I'm.. I can't do this I'm sorry
11 years old
Twin brother dies
Parents don't let me go to his funeral or tell me where it is
Where it is?
I guess it would be inappropriate to be there as it could confuse people
*it's too silent*
Jesus Christ
*Felix laughs*
You can't go to your brother's funeral 'cause you look like him
People would be confused
IT'S A ZOMBIE!
Oh God
*inaudible*
What the
What are you doing here! It's a miracle!
Ok wait. 10/10. My mom died once
[that is so sad can we get a f?]
Oh right there in the comments. Oh my mom died once, I feel for you u bro. Just once though
*reads greentext*
Wow. (What the fuc- What the hell is this)
That's the same guy? (Noo)
Year 2020. Trump is elected
Not again! [
Immediate... immediately declares war on Vietnam
Not again!
Vietnam 2.0
*ken laughs like a werido*
Thousands of GenZ kids are drafted into the military
A few months later...
Be rice farmer in Vietnam
start hearing little yard playing in the distance to the sound of
rotary engines. Helicopters start flying over me
good gang started blasting from the helicopters in the
area around me gets napalm while my life is awful.
Choppers
drop up enemy troops. Get smoked by a 17 year old
with a pick a Rick sticker on the side of his helmet. He does
support nine deaths. I've been
to a
God damn Vietnam I'm sorry you heard
it's gonna be the absolute worst way to die. Possible.
I'm maybe too old. How do you eat someone you throw in. Yay.
Yay. Anonymous says
Bme. A good start. Surgeon thirty
five hour operation do it perfectly with no mistakes.
Everyone thanks God. But I mean
here I am you know with a God complex
surgery as I get as if people thing. YouTube
For her videos. Thank you. You too. Thank you YouTube HQ video
match day. Big thank you so much everyone.
Thank you to be the chat.
Be meet 18 new at this school
gym class. I'm a pretty decent looking guy. I look good in
sports because Matt pics. Ok we get to play
dodgeball FBI play for a bit
trying to show off for the security OK. Yeah. Sure.
While playing dodgeball. Is that how you got ladies in the in the school. She's into me.
She's now she's on the other team. How does he know that
she's into him. She throws at me dodge grabs ball
throw it at some dude with the force of a thousand suns. I miss him.
Hit the kitty in the face. Are you kidding me. God damn
JP. Her nose is bleeding teeth through her lip.
She's crying. I can't cross the line to help her because the
rules I lose in the game
spaghetti epic spaghetti
and that's how I met your mother.
B10 watching Scooby door. What
DFW Thelma's sexy oh
dark stroking my journey through the blank it
Was so good that P.G. Villa
volcano riff in my law he must be only
made scepter I knew it. Yes. No
stop.
Scout scoop is a busted
load. Start doing on the rag.
Oh. My
Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo Mombasa me all season Scooby Doo for
Christmas.
Oh what a nice story.
Thanks Mom.
Where do. You
Live in Virginia. Move to North Carolina.
See ya later virginians
Virginians like all the people who make these. Yeah exactly.
Exactly. Wow. Put the words out of my mouth.
This is not my story but one I had seen like seven months ago
have spider bro as you do
eats random bugs and shit in my kitchen.
Once killed a mouse. damn. we live happily together for a few months.
One night go to bars and pick up a girl. Bring
girl home and end up heading to my bedroom.
Spider bro is on the wall. Girl screams, runs home.
So angry I kill spider bro for denying me my needs.
Noooo spider bro
finds out from friend.
Couple of days later that the girl had herpes. Spider bro knew
Sadface.jpg
Why you laughing?!
Spider bro knew. He was trying to protect him
Bro don't do it man. You got it.
So today for the first time my little toddler finally
counted 10. Wow. My God. I know
right. Everyone was celebrating saying how proud they are in my kid
Wow.
Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Weird. Not in your grammar
suddenly Ben sharpo kicks open the door. Wait Ben. Who.
I don't know. Then why was Shapiro.
Shapiro.
What did i say?
(laughs)
Be 20, heard you can F watermelons
Buys personal watermelon
*Visible confusion*
What does that even mean. This is how all watermelon you bought are?
Yeah.
This is my public watermelon that I bought .
Cuts a round hole
starts effing watermelon
Took like 40 minutes
wait... to cut the hole or F the watermelon
Yeah I I don't want to know.
Probably both. Not much better than fapping I felt shame.
Buried melon in shallow grave.
Come summertime melons grew in the backyard. Family eats them.
Oh no you don't. You don't want it any melon.
No. Mind you're having them watermelon. Delicious.
Oh it's so so juicy.
oooh
This personal watermelon. It tastes personal
Girl looks at me. The image really isn't what
the image of me is now pulsing through her neurons.
Technically am inside her
Later virgins
did it
20 at formal basically prom in college
dressed great look great my date looks great she's the
love of my life got to try and impress her
pulls out all the stops expensive liquor excellent
steak dance the night away I think we're in love.
Wake up the next day really drunk have to poop
decide to hold the head till we get back to school not a long
drive drunk driving back to Philly. Moving faster
than when will started making trouble in his neighborhood.
I need to poop butt cheeks clench harder than Penn State
locker room alcohol it made me loose it's hard to
squeeze grit my teeth not gonna make it back to school
good.
Go on. Wait. I don't think you made it. Oh
it was drug driving. This was this is the last message you sent before he ran
off the road. It. Is
Latin. This is a Bible lesson for all of you who
don't get your butt cheeks and graph
Just poop. You let it go. Damn. Just let it go.
Behind her embracing figures at Pompeii could have
been gay lovers after the scan reveals that both men beat
me drinking wine with best brew served 10 years
normally together. What saved my life once named my son
after the guy
Mountain freaking explodes. Find house in the hard
for shelter. Give each other one last bro hug.
Ash Burns is both 1000 hundred years later get found.
Well gay boys
They're not gay. They said no homo before it happened. They said
No God damn it.
I wanted to be clear on one thing. It's so typical as well I owe two
people.
They must have been gay lovers. They were both boys.
They were gay.
They been playing Red Dead to all day everyday for a week straight
had to actually leave the house for groceries and center. I live in at a
college so I actually have to do things for myself when I
decide to try it to be more like Arthur Morgan. I guess that the guy from Red
did yes the main character. Okay about
to walk past the guy in the street.
Say the first cowboy ish thing that comes to my head when I pass him
approach him a sexy
that's gas cow calorie OCD thing. No howdy
partner no nothing. Just
Hey sexy. Hey sexy. And then I slapped his ass
wrote him off into the sunset.
17 fem
try to get abotion
start to hear whispers in my ear
lol what
look behind me
needle goes into my throat and I get knocked out
Jesus Christ
wake up
I'm tied to a chair
look around
sEe Ben Shapiro
pulls bat out
Hits me so hard I cant move
Takes the baby out. no painkiller
Says "Libtard, i will raise this baby"
Bleed and die in the middle of nowhere
All i see is ben sapiro chant a magic spell and a baby grows into a clone of Ben Shapiro
*felix laughs*(smh)
I die a few minutes later
what the actual
3rd grade
grew up with dad, had an absentee mom
told me to hit people back if they hit me first
didn't tell- oh this should be good
didn't tell me it doesn't apply to girls
jesus christ
in class, a roastie talks sh- to me for no reason
Politely told Rosa to stop. I don't know
a girl apparently. She eventually shoves me with
after a big slam on in her face
flies across the room knocked unconscious with her skull
correct and is starting to bleed as Christ put the
class run away in fear of me. Principal comes
damn screams at me and calls the cops got fired. Later
that day it was third grade. Yeah
I want to get fired from
My like for spider bro. Check out Ken. For some
reason. If you want to. I got
meat scepter jokes and it's always
Broke bro paste. You read it for this can do but do.
You want pyramids. We gotta. Oh you're into castles huh.
We got you covered baby. You want some pants. Easy.
We got it all. This game is still relevant. God damn it.