WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Being sad is funny!!

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Logan Paul has an exciting announcement!

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And can pugs be racist?
(Hmmmmmmmmmmmm)

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This and more in Pew News.
(Best news ever)

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I am Gloria Borger.

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(Pew sounds)

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(Pew News Intro plays)

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( pewds in his girl accent) Hello everybody, it's Gloria Borger

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Welcome back to poo *cough*

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*dies, then sips his Pew News mug*

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Ah, that's much better

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Have I told you about our new merch?

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You can buy one. Check out the link in the description.

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I think you'll like it. Tastes great

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Now let's get into the first NeE tu yu, guys

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Nichole Arbur, the smug-face son of a... ball

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Has returned to YouTube with another one of her wonderful comedy sketches

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Nichole, of course, which last year, published a very famous video

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Dear Fat People, where she basically conveyed the message that i-it's your own fault okay

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You're just being really lazy

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And now she made a video in the same sort of fashion

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But about depression

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Now I don't personally give my own opinions here Pew news, I am

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Biased... Unbiased. I keep getting it wrong *laughs*( lol)

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I am completely unbiased

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But I think this is great

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And I, for one, can't wait for the video "dear disabled people"

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Uh, dear disabled people

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It's all in your head

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heheheheheehee

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Look, you just have to stand up. I can do it

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*stands up*

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So can you. It's all in your head, stupid

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She uploaded the video, saying "why depression is all in your head"

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Only one person can get you out of depression, and that person is you

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It's all in our head. All in our head

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You idiot, it's genetic. Haha nope. ( wow she is pretty stupid)

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Now we are getting a little into youtube gossip territory right now

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But i feel like i have to give you enough context

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Because that's really important

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So, basically, right

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Nichole Arbor used to date that top 10 guy on youtube

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His name was Matthew Santoro I think (it is)

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And they used to be together

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And everyone was like "why is she dating him. He is so ugly"

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But she has a really ugly character ( 10/10 roast)

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So it sort of works out

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But then, all the sudden *poof* they broke up

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Everyone was like "why"

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And then he made a really crying video

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Saying "oh, she hit me"

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And then Nichole replied

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"Well, I didn't hit him, that's bullsh*oof*"

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It's not true, I did not hit her

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I did not (oh hi Mark)

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And then Matthew made a video a few months later saying "I am depressed"

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Now, Nichole is making fun of depression because she wants to get back on her ex

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That's right, we dig deep here on Pew News

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*laughs*

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No, for real, Nichole..

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I sort of understand what she's trying to say

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Most people go through periods of life where they are feeling down

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And that's not the same as depression

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A lot of people already don't think that depression is a real illness with real symptoms

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So trivializing it as you're just feeling bad is irresponsible

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Just flat out short-sighted

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And a complete lack of empathy for other people

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Just because something worked for you, doesn't mean it'll work for other people

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Same thing with diet. E-Everyone is different, and they react differently to

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These things. It's just how it is

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And just because you figured it out doesn't mean you have the answer for everyone

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*pewd's noises* (but can you do this)

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I'm Gloria Borger, and the next news is very interesting

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That's right

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Last week

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Drake, famous Canadian rapper

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Played Fortnite (wow)

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And everyone lost their mind

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It is the greatest thing that has ever happened to the internet

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The fact that another human being

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Plays video games

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Just blew everyones' minds

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This livestream broke a twitch record, and came out in a recent interview that

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Ninja makes 500,000 a month

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Playing video games. That is almost as much as I make

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*sips pew news mug for advertisement*

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* immature cough*

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Whenever there is success in a certain field online

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There's always a swarm of people coming in afterwards

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you have

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The flies to the pies

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The creatins to the sweatins

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The maggots swarming to the f-f-fine

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*claps as he thinks of what to say*

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So Logan Paul, of course

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the low live scumbag

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announced that he is going to do a twitch stream as well, which is apparently news worthy because he gained 200,000 followers

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Without even livestreaming

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Excuse me, excuse me

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I have 900k on twitch, and I never stream on twitch

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Why does no one care about me

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if This doesnt prove, once and for all, that the media is biased towards me, then nothing will

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A lot of twitch streamers have had something to say about this. We have Summit saying that

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i dont think that people should be upset at all about Logan Paul on Twitch.

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the amount of people he could bring over from Youtube can only be a good thing for the site because theres more people now and a-and

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use your buisness mind on this one dudes..

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*laughs*

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Yes, great.

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Other people are saying.

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so logan paul is gonna start streaming abd bring his sh*oof* should i read it in a female voice?

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so logan paul is gonna start streaming and bring his *oof* toxic idiot fanbase over to twitch

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i cant see anything positive for the community as a whole lol

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They're all kids, they're all kids, they're all kids

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It's not important

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It's doesn't matter. Nothing matters

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Stop. Just stop. Please.

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Why do you care

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It also shows that Logan is planning on doing a fortnite livestream with rapper Soulja Boy

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I think you can link between systems

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Just let me know bro, we can get a place together asap

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I'm pretty sure- why would anyone wanna see that

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The reason why the drake fortnite thing was popular

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Was because Ninja is actually really good at fortnite

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Combined with a really popular celebrity

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Which, I don't want to give this credit, but I will for the sake of Logan Paul

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It legitimized the streaming community in a way that has never been done before

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It hurts to say that

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No one is gonna want to see these buffoons play

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It's so moronic

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Why does he think he can do the same thing

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My god

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Is this what we've come to in online entertainment

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Whatever is popular, everyone else is just going to do

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Oh shoot, that's what I've been doing for years, dammit

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ignore that last bit guys, dont worry about it

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*advertises mug* pewpewpewpewpew

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Next news comes from Youtuber convicted of hate crime making a nazi joke

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Just hold on, one second guys

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Excuse me, Pewdiepie's lawyer

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Am I going to jail

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No, because I am more attractive and more popular?

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Okay, that makes sense

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So what do I do

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Pewd's lawyer: Just tell everyone that you're really upset about this

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Uh huh

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Got it

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This is absolutely despicable

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Why anyone would make a nazi joke

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Is completely beyond me

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Especially pug related, that's the lowest of the low

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The fact that it was a joke doesn't matter. At all.

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I don't understand these people

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With these terrible senses of humor

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Disgusting.

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Absolutely disgusting.

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Count Dankula needs to go to jail.

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And I'm so glad that this man is put behind bars because I will finally feel safe at night.

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Knowing that this man will not make anymore nazi jokes

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Disgusting

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Absolutely despicable

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Hate crime. Hate crime. Boo

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Now I'm going to boast about this on social media so that people can like me and actually think I'm good even though I actually have no

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positive qualities about me except shunning other people

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even though I'm

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The real question here

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I know you're thinking as well

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Why hasn't the pug gone to jail

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Why is the pug allowed to keep spreading hate crime

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Absolutely, there is no justice in this world

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For real though, if you haven't seen the video- I don't want to show it because it probably just going to

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demonetize this video and it probably is already and please buy mug

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Nevertheless, he basically said

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I want to get back at my gf while she's away

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So I'm gonna play a prank on her

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So I'm gonna teach her dog

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To be a nazi

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Which is the ugliest thing I can think of

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That was the pretext of the video

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That is the context

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It was clearly set out to be a joke

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And anyone who watched the video can understand that, but you can also take

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What was taken out of context, which seems to be

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A common theme these days

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And dismay completely the fact that it was, indeed, just a joke

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It's supposed to be a joke

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You may not find it funny

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But that doesn't change the fact

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Of the intent behind it

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Ricky Gervais, British comedian, tweetd out about this saying

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a man has been convicted on a UK court of making a joke that was deemed "grossly offensive"

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if you dont believe in a person's right to say things that you might find "grossly offensive", then you dont belive in the freedom of speech

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Which is so true

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If you're curious why he got convicted

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Even though we do have freedom of speech

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There are a few exceptions to the law

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What he was convicted for was the 127 communications act

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There's a lot of people defending this verdict

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saying that he deserves to go to jail

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That's right LAD Bible does news

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Thank you, Stewart

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Thank you for showing everyone what a quintessential moron looks like

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You're supposed to be a journalist

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Although it's from LAD Bible, you're still supposed to be a journalist

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Do you understand what you're writing

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Do you understand anything at all?

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What you're saying, or what you wrote

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Yes, count dankula is not above criticism

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Anyone has the right to speak out against him

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People have the right to feel whatever way they want about the video

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Like it, dislike it, it doesn't matter

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The point is, it's not up to the government to decide whether it's a joke or not

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It's a scary thing for any society

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That the government have that power, in my opinion

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That, to me, doesn't mean freedom of speech

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We have laws to protect for hate crimes

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But they shouldn't cover what is meant as jokes

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And what isn't set out to be any ill intent or harm

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Anyone that watched the video

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knows that that's the case, and i think that's the case for my original video

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Yes, was my video about criticism? Absolutely not

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But anyone that watched the video understands

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That there was no ill intent behind it

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But it's so easy nowadays to take any clip out of context

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And say "this is hateful"

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It's a dangerous act

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Especially now that the government comes into play

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That being said, I already have too many things in common with count dankula

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I am now going to auction away this pug. That's right

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He is a despicable pug

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That will put me into jail

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So please, someone take this dog away from me

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I don't want him anymore, and I don't want anythign to do with Count Dankula

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Oh, am I boring you

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(Pewds sounds)

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I'm Gloria Borger, and this was Pew News everybody, Remember to leave a like

00:12:01.880 --> 00:12:07.800
This video is 100 percent going to die from monetization, so make sure to check out the mug

00:12:07.800 --> 00:12:11.000
It's.... out of drink so I don't even know why I tried

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Thank you, and namaste, and goodbye

00:12:13.440 --> 00:12:15.220
Goodnight Americans

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And people

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See you

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Pew News (best news ever) Outro