WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:02.620
*DEATH METAL STARTS HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAH*

00:00:00.180 --> 00:00:02.180
*Machiavellian laughter*

00:00:02.580 --> 00:00:04.460
It's me

00:00:02.720 --> 00:00:04.140
It's me

00:00:04.460 --> 00:00:05.740
*coughing*

00:00:04.860 --> 00:00:06.340
*coughing*

00:00:05.740 --> 00:00:06.360
*starts to die*

00:00:06.940 --> 00:00:08.440
*his life flashes right before his eyes*

00:00:06.980 --> 00:00:07.940
*his life flashes right before his eyes*

00:00:08.440 --> 00:00:09.500
*rip pewds*

00:00:10.030 --> 00:00:17.480
Poodiepie: the greatest gamer on YouTube. I have the most subscribers which means I have the most

00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:18.240
SKILL!

00:00:18.240 --> 00:00:21.540
*Weird accent* Aaah, oh this game is a little hard !

00:00:18.480 --> 00:00:21.540
*Weird accent* Aaah, oh this game is so little hard !

00:00:21.540 --> 00:00:22.840
Ooooh, booohooo,

00:00:21.640 --> 00:00:22.760
*Oh booohooo.

00:00:22.840 --> 00:00:24.720
Boeoheohoehhooo

00:00:24.720 --> 00:00:31.300
It's just like-a Dark Souls. I asked you to challenge me for real. I ask you "Hey give me a real game,

00:00:25.020 --> 00:00:30.040
It's just like a dog. So I asked you to challenge me for real. I asked you :

00:00:31.380 --> 00:00:33.400
Give me a real challenge."

00:00:31.400 --> 00:00:33.400
"Give me a real challenge"

00:00:33.400 --> 00:00:39.220
* high pitched voice* hey pewdiepie you should play i wanna be the guy, its a really hard game, its just like dark souls.

00:00:33.400 --> 00:00:39.549
* high pitched voice* hey pewdiepie you should play i wanna be the guy, its a really hard game, its just like dark souls.

00:00:39.740 --> 00:00:40.700
HEADPHONE WARNING!!!!!!
*Loud Megaman music*

00:00:40.700 --> 00:00:42.700
Aaaaaaaaaah...

00:00:41.500 --> 00:00:42.000
AHHHH *looks at headphones*

00:00:42.940 --> 00:00:43.080
Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ

00:00:43.080 --> 00:00:44.500
Jesus Christ

00:00:44.580 --> 00:00:47.820
*Game squeals*

00:00:47.940 --> 00:00:50.600
I wanna to be the guy, the movie, the game.

00:00:47.950 --> 00:00:54.029
Want to be the guy the movie the game, so you jump with shift what the fuck are these controls ?

00:00:50.600 --> 00:00:52.180
So, you jump with "Shift".

00:00:52.200 --> 00:00:54.100
What the f*ck are these controls?

00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:57.320
I must be able to shoot then. Okay I can.

00:00:58.580 --> 00:01:00.980
Okay, okay fine.

00:01:00.980 --> 00:01:07.940
OH, The game is hard, they say. OO- *dies the first try*

00:01:08.080 --> 00:01:11.400
Whatever zero deaths, let's do that again. HeeeeEEeeyY

00:01:14.760 --> 00:01:16.760
WOAH OKAY HERE WE GO

00:01:17.400 --> 00:01:19.420
*mocking voice* Oh, The game is so hard. OH.

00:01:17.410 --> 00:01:19.410
*mocking voice*The game is so hard. Oh

00:01:19.740 --> 00:01:21.760
Oh, wow, look how hard that game was.

00:01:19.750 --> 00:01:21.750
Wow, look how hard that game was

00:01:22.180 --> 00:01:25.220
Easy trap -- anyone can see through that sh*t.

00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:27.840
Get the f*** away from me, trap.

00:01:27.840 --> 00:01:29.840
Alright, next level--*failure #3*

00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:36.220
Zero deaths!! This is the easiest game I've ever played in my life.

00:01:36.220 --> 00:01:38.460
I just have to stand here. Oh, wow.

00:01:37.728 --> 00:01:39.270
Oh wow that is Super hard

00:01:38.460 --> 00:01:39.400
That is SUPER hard.

00:01:40.500 --> 00:01:42.760
That's, like, straight up impossible.

00:01:43.760 --> 00:01:46.800
Alright, I wonder what the next one is going to do.

00:01:46.800 --> 00:01:50.720
*DISAPPOINTED*

00:01:51.200 --> 00:01:51.760
Oh, I gotta run

00:01:54.620 --> 00:01:56.260
Oh, wow, this-- OooOH.

00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:01.500
What the f*ck was that? Shut up, what the f*ck?

00:02:02.220 --> 00:02:04.460
How the hell am I gonna be able to do that?

00:02:05.720 --> 00:02:07.040
Ooo, that one touched my nip ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

00:02:07.860 --> 00:02:10.140
I like it. Do it again please. Come back!

00:02:10.140 --> 00:02:14.380
I love you, I LOVE YOU, please stay with me I wanna-- Oh sh*t.

00:02:16.860 --> 00:02:18.280
Missed me b*tch.

00:02:18.280 --> 00:02:25.589
This is not hard. This is memorizing a series of patterns, which is child's play anyone can do this.

00:02:26.440 --> 00:02:33.300
Anyone. Give me a challenge that requires skill with these magical fingers, okay, give me that

00:02:34.820 --> 00:02:35.380
f*ck you

00:02:41.300 --> 00:02:43.300
What the f*ck am I doing wrong there?

00:02:43.920 --> 00:02:47.000
It just hits me anyway, what the f*ck am I supposed to do?

00:02:50.100 --> 00:02:55.460
My God, this is so f*cking boring. I have to wait for this shit every f*cking time.

00:02:56.180 --> 00:02:59.640
Oh, wait, I can't swear because the video will get demonetized.

00:02:59.640 --> 00:03:01.720
I mean-- no! This is--go!!

00:03:02.840 --> 00:03:04.140
GO

00:03:04.140 --> 00:03:07.780
Jump over there. You didn't jump!! You mOROn!

00:03:08.100 --> 00:03:10.760
Gogogogogogogogogo

00:03:10.940 --> 00:03:14.980
You didn't jump what the f*ck is wrong with you?! I get it now

00:03:14.980 --> 00:03:15.620
I get it.

00:03:15.620 --> 00:03:16.820
I got it before I started.

00:03:16.820 --> 00:03:21.580
I just wanted to pretend that I'm bad just so you feel bad about yourself. Just so you feel like oh,

00:03:21.589 --> 00:03:26.740
maybe he's not that good. I'm f*cking good. Okay watch this; first time I've ever played this game.

00:03:26.740 --> 00:03:29.020
I bet you had to watch tutorials to play this game.

00:03:29.040 --> 00:03:33.600
*High-pitched* Oh wow! I beat darksouls on my third try!

00:03:33.800 --> 00:03:37.000
Yeah, did you look online people playing it on YouTube

00:03:33.810 --> 00:03:41.089
Yeah, did you look online people playing it on YouTube because then it doesn't fucking count YOU didn't jump oh wait

00:03:37.000 --> 00:03:39.600
because then it doesn't f*cking count. DIDN'T JUMP....

00:03:40.600 --> 00:03:43.300
oh wait, He can double jump... oooooh

00:03:43.020 --> 00:03:44.540
*pewdipie discover how to play*

00:03:44.000 --> 00:03:45.540
oOH
*pewdipie discover how to play*

00:03:45.540 --> 00:03:48.040
Oh, i see, you can play with EZ mode.

00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:49.520
Fine

00:03:50.380 --> 00:03:52.140
Fine, 'cuz i am the guy!

00:03:53.960 --> 00:03:57.020
Double jump, more like bitch jump

00:03:57.460 --> 00:03:58.840
Alright, look at this

00:04:00.280 --> 00:04:01.880
Why it's not coming now?

00:04:06.100 --> 00:04:06.660
no skill

00:04:08.440 --> 00:04:16.000
how am I supposed to make it all the way?!? how oh my God this game is so dumb to play and be

00:04:18.360 --> 00:04:21.400
Absolutely loved that's offensive there every other game in the world

00:04:21.420 --> 00:04:26.600
You don't have to think not played a zelda game before they straight up. Oh my God that's so offensive

00:04:27.180 --> 00:04:29.180
Go go go go

00:04:32.220 --> 00:04:33.060
Hit me

00:04:34.540 --> 00:04:36.460
How do I get there?

00:04:36.460 --> 00:04:38.460
'right, how do I get there?

00:04:39.020 --> 00:04:40.460
I just walk down

00:04:40.480 --> 00:04:46.200
I dump what happened to double jumping huh, what happened to double jumping huh does it count as a jump

00:04:46.260 --> 00:04:52.480
Did you walk off idiocy this game is STAHPID STAHPID game you stupid

00:04:46.260 --> 00:04:52.480
Did you walk off idiocy this game is stupid stupid game you stupid !

00:04:53.100 --> 00:04:56.400
I mean it's barely scratch your surfaces

00:04:57.140 --> 00:05:00.200
I mean this.. "thing"

00:05:00.580 --> 00:05:02.240
oh, I get it. I get it now !

00:05:02.560 --> 00:05:04.740
I get it now, lookatme lookatme lookatme

00:05:04.800 --> 00:05:06.480
*cue weebanese*

00:05:06.550 --> 00:05:09.500
Okay, look and then we go back. Oh

00:05:09.580 --> 00:05:11.060
*boring censored content*

00:05:11.140 --> 00:05:13.140
This is the first stage

00:05:13.540 --> 00:05:19.840
So I'm free to walk here now, but as soon as I hit a certain point... The "thing" activates... there.

00:05:13.540 --> 00:05:16.600
So I'm free to walk here now, but as soon as I hit a certain point

00:05:21.440 --> 00:05:21.940
*Genius*

00:05:28.960 --> 00:05:36.840
How am I supposed to make that jump how how am I suppose to make that

00:05:38.500 --> 00:05:40.340
HAW

00:05:40.340 --> 00:05:42.340
jumP

00:05:42.160 --> 00:05:42.660
*no skill again*

00:05:42.980 --> 00:05:46.140
How is that even physically possible? It's way, too...

00:05:47.180 --> 00:05:54.400
There must be a way with these, these brown things in the back that must be a way with them. There's some secret to them. Oh

00:05:56.180 --> 00:06:03.100
I know I got it. I got it before you got it shush you shush you I got it*alright we get it*

00:06:03.100 --> 00:06:07.130
I got it. Okay. I don't need you to tell me oh*high pitched voice* PEWDIEPIE WHAT YOU NEED TO DO

00:06:05.180 --> 00:06:10.460
*frustrated people* OH pewdipie, what u need to do is...It's so Obvious. It's so obvious, pewdie

00:06:07.130 --> 00:06:10.460
It's so Obvious. It's so obvious PEWDIE

00:06:11.040 --> 00:06:13.980
*high-pitched's pewds voice again* OOOOOOOOH

00:06:11.750 --> 00:06:13.750
*dying whale noise* OHHHH

00:06:13.980 --> 00:06:17.640
No, no, no no no no, look at that

00:06:19.940 --> 00:06:20.440
*A genius is born*

00:06:20.800 --> 00:06:22.280
*censored content* GENIUS!

00:06:22.660 --> 00:06:25.320
SO SMARD! you see that *censored*

00:06:22.669 --> 00:06:25.329
So smart you see that shit

00:06:25.480 --> 00:06:29.560
*frustrated people* OH I beated... it was really easy !

00:06:33.520 --> 00:06:34.600
Okay

00:06:34.600 --> 00:06:41.500
Okay, can we move on now easy this game is easy you see how we haven't hit the save yet. OH God

00:06:34.610 --> 00:06:41.500
Okay, can we move on now easy this game is easy you see how we haven't hit the save yet. OH God

00:06:41.500 --> 00:06:43.500
There is gonna be a trap here by the same

00:06:43.900 --> 00:06:45.909
*Censored* You not on my *censored content* watch

00:06:43.909 --> 00:06:45.909
You not on my fucking  watch

00:06:47.640 --> 00:06:54.900
Got it got it. Oh wow these spikes fell down ! Oh, what is this? We're gonna shoot up. Oh

00:06:47.650 --> 00:06:54.900
Got it got it. Oh wow this spike fell down. Oh, what is this? We're gonna shoot up. Oh

00:06:55.360 --> 00:07:00.200
Wow, oh, what did the apples go into attack me n- *what*

00:07:01.200 --> 00:07:01.700
LOL

00:07:03.000 --> 00:07:06.140
Oooh wow, let me guess the water makes me survive

00:07:07.840 --> 00:07:12.700
You don't die in water great now what the fuck do i do then?

00:07:08.280 --> 00:07:12.700
You don't die in water great, now what the *censored content* do I do then ?

00:07:18.520 --> 00:07:23.020
*exasperated pewds*

00:07:25.220 --> 00:07:31.760
There best not be two apples in that spike if there's two apples in this spike this guy is not gonna be happy

00:07:25.240 --> 00:07:31.480
That best not be two apples in that spike if there's two apples in that spike this guy is not gonna be happy

00:07:33.380 --> 00:07:33.880
u bad

00:07:35.080 --> 00:07:36.600
Ok, we got it

00:07:38.780 --> 00:07:39.400
WHOOW

00:07:39.500 --> 00:07:42.040
Ok, those apples can NOT be trusted

00:07:42.160 --> 00:07:44.620
They're going to shoot VERTICALLY *shows up horizontally*

00:07:44.860 --> 00:07:46.200
aah? aah? *genius*

00:07:46.280 --> 00:07:47.100
That's right

00:07:49.400 --> 00:07:51.160
Ok, you can't shoot the apples, but that's fine

00:07:51.300 --> 00:07:53.340
mother fucker
*sorry censored content again*

00:07:52.160 --> 00:07:53.340
*sorry censored content again*

00:07:53.500 --> 00:07:55.510
Since when does apple kill anything

00:07:53.510 --> 00:07:55.510
since when does apple will kill anything

00:07:56.380 --> 00:07:59.660
Shut up appl es tuck ! What I say

00:07:56.390 --> 00:07:59.650
Shut up apples duck what I say

00:08:00.700 --> 00:08:02.700
Is anyone ever died from an apple?

00:08:02.840 --> 00:08:06.160
A child died in 1921. The cause of her death was a stomach ache after eating green apples, so yes!

00:08:06.160 --> 00:08:11.320
We need to trigger this apple. This game is about triggering apples

00:08:15.120 --> 00:08:21.180
Look at the pure gaming skill, okay. Look. Oh, wow the apples. See? I'm one step ahead

00:08:15.129 --> 00:08:20.998
Look at the pure gaming skill, okay. Look. Oh, wow the apples .see I'm one step ahead

00:08:21.520 --> 00:08:24.580
I've thoght that they'll go vertically, but no they did not. (is pewdz related to science?)

00:08:24.580 --> 00:08:27.100
Oh, god, that apple i don't trust for 1 second

00:08:27.500 --> 00:08:28.000
great.

00:08:28.800 --> 00:08:30.440
greeeeeaaaaaat

00:08:31.060 --> 00:08:33.460
Just what I wanted !

00:08:34.140 --> 00:08:36.140
Alright, let's take it easy

00:08:36.780 --> 00:08:39.880
Take it easy. Let's take it easy. We can do this oh

00:08:40.680 --> 00:08:44.400
*Creepy ''aaah''* aaaaaaaaaaaah

00:08:44.880 --> 00:08:46.880
hah *boom*

00:08:48.540 --> 00:08:53.160
Shut up you have to trigger all the apples then the to comet won't come

00:08:48.560 --> 00:08:53.160
Shut up you have to trigger all the apples then the to comet won't come

00:08:53.700 --> 00:08:55.700
it's an old trick my

00:08:55.740 --> 00:09:01.829
Grandpa told me all about it. Hey pewds. If there's ever a comet, trigger all the apples.

00:08:55.750 --> 00:09:01.829
Grandpa told me all about it. Hey poods. If there's ever a comet, trigger all the apples I

00:09:02.640 --> 00:09:08.280
I know were you thinking '' oh pewdipie giving up now''. You can't do it. I could do anything I want

00:09:02.649 --> 00:09:08.279
Know were you thinking oh pewdiepie is giving up now. You can't do it. I could do anything. I want

00:09:08.280 --> 00:09:14.520
*Long Censorship*

00:09:11.529 --> 00:09:13.529
*swear words*

00:09:14.600 --> 00:09:16.220
AAH you can't make that jump

00:09:17.640 --> 00:09:21.900
Not today comet . ALRIGHT Fine coming you win this round.

00:09:17.649 --> 00:09:22.919
Not today comet . ALRIGHT Fine coming you win this round.*High pitched voice* the game

00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:26.720
*High pitched voice* 
"ooh the game is hard, because you have to learn how the game works"

00:09:26.780 --> 00:09:28.780
"I looked it up online"

00:09:28.920 --> 00:09:35.760
"But that's fine because I'm good at game" come on comet. Come on comet come on comet

00:09:28.930 --> 00:09:35.760
But that's fine because I'm good at deep come on comet. Come on coming come on come it

00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:38.000
Don't you want to live forever?

00:09:38.010 --> 00:09:40.010
*swearing*

00:09:39.360 --> 00:09:40.980
*censored* comet

00:09:40.010 --> 00:09:42.010
*swearing still*

00:09:42.100 --> 00:09:47.920
Okay, so we got to trigger these two apples by jumping to them as close as humanly pahssible

00:09:42.110 --> 00:09:47.919
Okay, so we got to trigger these two apples by jumping to them as close as humanly pahssible

00:09:48.800 --> 00:09:53.860
Not today not today apples not today not any *swearing* day

00:09:53.500 --> 00:09:59.160
because I am the apple Master of disaster. Oh comet. Oh comet

00:09:53.860 --> 00:09:58.860
because I am the apple Master of disaster. Oh comet. Oh comet

00:09:58.870 --> 00:10:02.290
Oh, oh no, not that comet anything

00:09:59.280 --> 00:10:02.280
Oh, oh no, not that comet anything

00:10:02.700 --> 00:10:06.960
It *censored* following you are you kidding me ?! What the hell

00:10:02.940 --> 00:10:06.600
It *censored* following you are you kidding me ?! What the hell

00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:10.500
Not today, Mr. Apples. I'm Gonna Trigger this one too

00:10:10.600 --> 00:10:13.360
I don't have time for you and your *swearing*

00:10:14.560 --> 00:10:18.850
Oh my Lord, okay here it comes, Mr.Comet, please

00:10:14.570 --> 00:10:18.850
My Lord, okay here it comes, Mr.Comet, please

00:10:19.820 --> 00:10:21.300
OH NO !

00:10:21.580 --> 00:10:23.580
No... NOOO !!

00:10:24.100 --> 00:10:26.660
Nej (Swedish for No)

00:10:24.420 --> 00:10:26.140
Nej (Swedish for No)

00:10:28.920 --> 00:10:29.780
AAah

00:10:32.340 --> 00:10:33.020
It's getting on

00:10:33.220 --> 00:10:33.720
It's getting on

00:10:35.220 --> 00:10:36.700
*Focused pewds*

00:10:41.020 --> 00:10:42.140
Oh jesus

00:10:42.800 --> 00:10:44.200
*Hardcore gaming activated*

00:10:56.580 --> 00:10:57.080
I like that when u die :)

00:10:57.760 --> 00:10:59.820
NNNNNNEEEEEEEEJJJJJJJ

00:10:59.820 --> 00:11:00.840
*back to pewds's voice* AAAAH

00:11:02.079 --> 00:11:12.300
SO CLOSE ! ZERO DEATH! *rip mic* Come on come on. Come on. Come on. Oh OH

00:11:02.120 --> 00:11:11.500
SO CLOSE ! ZERO DEATH! Come on come on. Come on. Oh

00:11:12.720 --> 00:11:20.370
Oh, this game is so hard. Oh, it keeps FOLLOWING ME. IT KEEPS FOLLOWING ME

00:11:12.730 --> 00:11:20.370
This game is so hard. Oh, it keeps following me. It keeps following me WHYYY

00:11:21.300 --> 00:11:22.780
*desesparated voice* WHYYYYYY

00:11:23.380 --> 00:11:27.520
Why do u do this ? why ?? D:

00:11:25.839 --> 00:11:27.839
-*incoherent mumbling*

00:11:27.839 --> 00:11:29.410
AH,THAH

00:11:29.410 --> 00:11:34.320
*censored content*. Just sit here. You can't touch me here you can't oh

00:11:29.420 --> 00:11:34.320
*censored content* Just stay here ! You can't touch me  oh

00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:36.440
aaah haha! haha!

00:11:36.700 --> 00:11:37.200
*finally*

00:11:37.300 --> 00:11:39.300
Bye, oh, oh *facepalms*

00:11:39.920 --> 00:11:41.580
oh no !

00:11:44.160 --> 00:11:46.720
You can't change the... ????

00:11:48.920 --> 00:11:50.120
Leave me alone !

00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:52.460
Leave me alone !!!

00:11:50.450 --> 00:11:52.450
leave me alone

00:11:54.040 --> 00:11:55.940
byeeee

00:11:54.050 --> 00:11:55.940
byE

00:11:55.940 --> 00:12:00.549
Okay, all right. Let's take it really nice and *censored content* easy I can shoot

00:12:01.900 --> 00:12:03.910
Can I jump on link ?

00:12:01.910 --> 00:12:03.910
Can I jump a link? I

00:12:04.910 --> 00:12:11.900
I can't jump here. Okay? I'm safe here. Oh my God. Okay, okay. Let's go in this *swearing*

00:12:15.680 --> 00:12:19.540
Save, shut up about your sword old man. Thank you

00:12:19.900 --> 00:12:21.900
oh my god

00:12:22.800 --> 00:12:25.060
aaah my Gah

00:12:25.340 --> 00:12:32.940
Oh my god. Oh my, *japanese GAH* What is this game? That's so easy.Now i'm playing it

00:12:26.360 --> 00:12:33.430
Oh my God*squeak*, what is this game? That's so easy now. I'm playing it

00:12:32.940 --> 00:12:34.080
Gimme the swo-

00:12:34.080 --> 00:12:35.480
*censored content*

00:12:35.480 --> 00:12:37.480
The game called me a retard

00:12:37.480 --> 00:12:41.300
*censored content*

00:12:41.300 --> 00:12:43.300
You can't...

00:12:44.500 --> 00:12:47.220
I'm ending this episode here, but this is not over

00:12:48.860 --> 00:12:50.860
this is just the beginning, apples

00:12:51.220 --> 00:12:52.080
*creepy laught*

00:12:52.480 --> 00:12:56.060
You think you can beat me? The best *censored content* player in the world?

00:12:56.260 --> 00:12:58.260
Leave a like, if you want part 2

00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:03.740
squad Fam Jujitsu...

00:13:04.600 --> 00:13:05.460
out