*Funky music*
GOD DAMMIT-
It's so fucking late again, and I haven't recorded a video today.
Professional Youtuber Everyone.
I've been doing Youtube for 6 years, I know I know how to make videos,
shut the fuck up.
How do I get outta here?
Fuck this shit!
OH. Oh My God.
Oh my god.
Oh, this is actu- I'm actually scared..
[ NOISE ]
That was a joke, I'm still... I'm still here!
"WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?" [ DISTURBED SOUND ]
[ READS QUESTION HIGHLIGHTED IN BLUE ]
A question that people seem to want an answer of,
And I thought: "Who's better to answer that question... than me?"
I, Poodiepie
[ READS QUESTION HIGHLIGHTED IN RED ]
I wake up and I realize, I'm Pewdiepie... and really I just want to go back to sleep.
I mean yes, yes I LOVE Pewdiepie, he's my favorite!
[ READS Skiourous 1997 OPINION ]
How about I prefer a less shitty mustache, have you seen my mustache?
Ten times bet-
[ READS TEXT WITH BIG LETTERS ]
Oh, oh. You need help with online dates?
Yeah, that's what happens when you watch other channels and not Pewdiepie.
*Reading* "She's 352 miles away..."
WELL, GOOD LUCK WITH GETTING THAT PUSSY!
NEXT TIME, YOU WATCH PEWDIEPIE!
YOU WATCH FUCKING MY CHANNEL, AND YOU GET THAT, YOU GET THAT...
*voice intensifies* fucking sweet... sweet pussy.
And you won't be a little bitch, asking for relationship advice on YAHOO FUCKING ANSWERS
THAT'S RIGHT. NEXT TIME, MAKE A BETTER. FUCKING. CHOICE.
I MEAN, it's not like I FOUND MY GIRL ONLINE *Laughs of irony*
You know what? Since I'm.. since I'm SO nice, I'm gonna help this guy out,
even though he's not a fan of Pewdiepie --
Wait, what the fuck is this?
*Reading* "No he suck now, he like a ... just play. Skate 1 point 2.. 3? ... GAAAAAAAAY! *laughs while yelling*
Skate game it ... boring game ever."
Dude, that really hurt.
*Sad music* When you write these comments... there's another person on the other side of the screen.
Who feel your suffering.
"WHY'RE WE STILL HE- WHY'RE WE STILL HE- WHY'RE WE STILL HERE?"
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
He also asked, "What is Media" question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark question mark? Media EVERYWHERE!
*Reading* Hmmmmm I know it's just a hUUUhhHHSighhhuh and MMMMM .. some thing.
Is this a person?? Does this person *laughing*
I'm not -- I didn't set this up to make my haters look stupid, but Jesus fucking Christ...
Can you be a little bit more illiterate?
'Cause I'm pretty sure what you just said, could be said by slapping your dick on the keyboard.
So I love when people... people actually fucking answered...
*Reading* "One use is the main mass of communi-uni-cat--
Wait, what the fuck is this -- another one??
*Reading* "No, his videos are boring/lame".
Who the fuck liked that?
Who the FUCK liked that??
*Snorts up irony*
*Reading calmly* Why is everyone so negative about Pewdiepie?
"I don't understand why everyone Pewdi- *corrects self* Felix Kjellberg who is 25 years old."
"Because he's a greedy, *intensifies* self-indulgent, misogynistic prick, with a fan base comprised mostly OF 10 YEAR OLDS."
"If you like Pewdiepie, that doesn't immediately mean you're a moron, but most people can't even take ONE OPINION against the guy."
That's the thing I - I see, I see in a... I see a lot of people do...
What, Pewdiepie fucking sucks,
AND THAT'S MY OPINION,
AND IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE,
THEN FUCK YOU, IT'S MY OPINION!!
Like, just 'cause you have an opinion,
doesn't mean people can't disagree with you.
It's like IT'S MY OPINION, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
*Laughs at his rant
You can have whatever the fuck opinion you want, people can still argue against you, Mr. Gabriel Murr,
which I will proceed to judge fully.
*Reading* "What song is this, I swear to God!"
Okay, so this is more of a rap dub...st- stepish kinda song?
The lyrics literally are composed of someone saying something like..
Dum. Dum dumdum dum and over."
Oh, are you describing yourself?
Roasted.
"I think if you were to play it on the piano it would be more like 'D, EF, G, F E C E D' around four times.
Well, con-grat-tu-lations... You're... the fucking moron.
*Playing a scale on a computer piano and singing "You're a f*cking moron" to it*
*Laugh* I'm so salty.
*Reading* "My 10 Year Old Sister is Watching Pewdiepie".
"My sister, her best friends are sleeping over
tonight. They are sat across from me on the laptop with earphones in.
A minuet ago I heard my sister's friend say 'Have you seen the fist bump...
It's got 3 fi-fingers on the top'. Then I heard the voice that sounded like Pewdiepie coming from the..."
This sounds like a horror novel in- in a weird way.
*Continued* "From the earphones. Because my sister is 10, I don't really think she should be watching him
because of swearing and sex references."
I don't... I don't make any sexual --
"I know my parents wouldn't agree! Should I tell them, leave it, thanks!
I'm 14 btw."
I like this answer by Chance.
*Reading* "Oh shut up lad, don't be a sour puss and leave your sister and friend alone."
GOT 'EM!
*Laughing*
That should just be the answer to everything, just don't be a sour puss.
"How to - Pewdiepie hair?"
You guys actually want ...
Oh, I see, you like my hairstyle!
Ohhh, before, before it was all like
Ah, Pewdiepie's hair looks like a fucking bird,
Aw, Pewdiepie's hair look like a pot head,
Kazoo Kid...
Oh now y-, now, now you like my hair?
"Dont. Dot. Just. Don't."
"Pewdiepie's mail address."
"I'm a Bro and a Marzipan, I would like to send Felix and Marzia a letter.
How 'bout that? There ya' gooo!
I appreciate the comments... It's kinda weird ... that you would ask for my address...
"Danisnotonfire or Pewdiepie?"
Best answer: "Defin - naut - lee... def- def-
Defin - at - a - lee?!"
Oh I think you mean "DefiNITEly!"
or "definitely Dan".
Fucking moron.
"He's super hardworking".
OH I'm not hardworking enough?
Hey, do you know how LATE IT IS?
"and actually funny"
OH I'M NOT FUNNY ENOUGH??
IS IT BECAUSE ALL I DO IS SCREAAM?!
"In my opinion, Pewdiepie sucks. All he does is scream and make perverted jokes that emo 11 to 13 year old girls think are funny."
*pig snOORttT*
*pig voice* you f*cking b*tch!
"Well, here's Pewdiepie in a nutshell:"
Oh okay, alright.
VIDEO- "Hoo jee, my 27 other Youtube channels haven't been making me enough Google Ad Sense money.
DOh WHAT THE F*CK.
Better start a gaming ('Gay Men') channel!
brrRROOOOOOOOO
HEH-HA --"
Pewds- But I only have a gaming channel
VIDEO- "HOW'S IT GOIN' BRAS?"
*Inhale*
It's me! LaaawsatHalocaust
Welcome to the opening of my NEW gaming channel,
uhh it's gonna be wacky and unique, I'm gonna play lots offff Indie games,
that you guys have never seen before -- TIME TO PLAY HAPPY WHEELS!
Badly impersonated kid- OH DADDY DON'T LET ME FALL!
Badly impersonated Dad- Oh no son OOHHHHH *CRASH*
*Pewds snickers*
*Laughs*
Yeah, I don't see.. I don't see the problem.
Fuckin' awesome video.
By the way.
"How come Pewdiepie has 40 million subscribers when there is only 7 million people on the planet?"
I like how someone actually explained it.
"I think you go it wrong."
I like this answer, "Pewdiepie is God and created aliens and made them subscribe to his channel or they will be terminated."
Hah.
"My friend wants to join my channel but he copies Pewdiepie."
"Okay, I have a YouTube chan-nel, it doesn't have any videos yet... but I'm working on it."
Slay. You're slaying.
I also have a theme park, uhh, on the side,
It doesn't have any roller coasters yet, but I'm workin' on it
Uh, p-uh uh,
I am ALSO the president of the United States, I'm not the president of the United States yet, I'm work -- BUT TRUST ME I'm working on it.
Vote Pewdiepie, 2012.
Ooh, this should be interesting.
"How much does Pewdiepie make a year?"
"He earns an obscene amount of money."
"It really bothers me that someone just, who just sits behind a computer" -- Uh, heh
Uh, uh
Uh, uh uh uh uhum,
*clicks tongue* What the f*ck?
How do you explain this? How do you explain this?
Fuck you... Miss Becca,
Awe you EDITED IT?
You edited it?
"Okay, I honestly have no problem with the guy making a living playing video games..."
It didn't sound like that was what you were saying...
"It's just... the amount that he gets that bothers me."
Oh I'm sorry, so the fact that a, that a four hundred, three hundred million people
are watching me every single month, entertaining, literally hundreds of millions of people
that, that is, that is not worth anything for you?
Is this not quality ... entertainment enough --
One thing that I would have to bring up is it seems that people think
that the whole world is just like a pool
like a witching pool, and all the money goes into it and then there's like a person sitting by it and
being like "Oh you're a doctor? Here ya go."
Oh you're a.... oh you're a Romanian? ... Back in line.
Oh okay, you're uhm... you're an accountant? Here you go.
Oh, you're Pewdiepie? BAM.
It's not like me earning a great living is taking away from anyone else
But also if you put it in perspective,
like put me next to like a Hollywood star,
Big Bang Theory, they're making a million dollar, per fucking episode.
Per week.
That's fucking way more then I would ever dream about.
So think about that, it's always like "AW, well Pewdiepie"
"I absolutely can't stand Pewdiepie, the guy will not stop screaming, so my ears feel like they're going to start bleeding",
Okay well, ahhh
Miss. Cronose (?),
I wanna say I'm sorry, for making your ears bleed. It's never been my intention. If I knew that,
I wouldn't of done it.
I mean come on, you haven't given me...
*awful kazoo noises*
GOTCHU!
BITCH!!
Why do you watch Pewdiepie?
I don't understand why anyone would like him (Pewds read it wrong)
Why're you so mean?
Why're you guys always so mean on Yahoo Answers?
"He's funny to me, so of course I watch his video --
what the F*CK??
Make up your God damn mind! whatayoucan't--
I can't, I don't fucking UhhhHh, uhHHhhh, shht...
You know, I do get a lot of questions of people saying like, "Why does Pewdiepie keep makin' videos 'cause he clearly doesn't have to anymore"...
And the answer to that is yes, I could stop, but I love doin' it
It's just, it's just fun
Alright?
And y-y-you fucking Yahoo Answers piece of shit are not gonna make me stop, okay?
So fuck you.
AND THAT'S JUST MY OPINION!
SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT
THEN FUCK YOU!!
IT'S MY OPINION!
YOU CAN'T TALK AGAINST ME 'CAUSE IT'S MY OPINION!
AND MY OPINION IS THAT PEWDIEPIE IS THE GREATEST FUCKING CHANNEL!
But anyway *laughs*
That was this video
I don't know if this worked out at all,
and I apologize if this video was a big shit, but y'know,
sometimes you try your best, and you don't succeeeuuueeeuuueeed..
Anyway,
uhh thank you guys for watching, 'ppreciate it, appreciate it a lot
I wouldn't be here, without cha
So why don't cha check out another one
*Awkward silence*
Or, another one
*Still awkward*
And I'll see you tomorrow with another fucken video.
'cause I ain't goin' anywhere, baby.
*smooch*