WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:05.300 --> 00:00:08.880 Hello. I am the queen of Youtube. -Poppy 00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:12.520 00:00:12.620 --> 00:00:13.120 Damn it! 00:00:14.680 --> 00:00:15.240 Ainsley 00:00:16.900 --> 00:00:17.780 00:00:17.800 --> 00:00:18.300 Ainsley 00:00:20.060 --> 00:00:21.340 I'm all out of ideas 00:00:22.040 --> 00:00:24.880 It's finally happened what do I do 00:00:25.180 --> 00:00:26.240 What do I do damnit 00:00:26.440 --> 00:00:27.880 Make a joke about Jews 00:00:28.020 --> 00:00:29.640 Oh Goddamnit you work for them now 00:00:31.660 --> 00:00:32.160 Fuck 00:00:33.040 --> 00:00:36.620 Goddamn it Ainsley 00:00:36.620 --> 00:00:38.460 There must be something I can do 00:00:38.860 --> 00:00:44.700 There must be something that no one else has done before 00:00:45.120 --> 00:00:47.800 Jacksepticeye has stopped playing happy wheels 00:00:48.180 --> 00:00:52.860 He stopped at episode 100, you could continue his legacy, my apprentice 00:00:53.160 --> 00:00:58.440 But happy wheels is the stupidest game on the planet I am never touching that shit again 00:00:53.440 --> 00:00:58.440 But happy wheels is the stupidest game on the planet. I am never touching that shit again. 00:00:58.960 --> 00:01:01.120 *Naruto Opening 16* 00:01:01.480 --> 00:01:05.400 How's it going bros my name is Pewdiepieee Welcome to Happy Wheels 00:01:06.620 --> 00:01:08.160 *obnoxious screaming* 00:01:07.640 --> 00:01:08.340 My name... 00:01:12.460 --> 00:01:13.300 Fuck yeah! 00:01:13.600 --> 00:01:14.260 ...is Pewdiepie! 00:01:14.260 --> 00:01:16.260 Get down and I want to... 00:01:16.680 --> 00:01:17.660 Germany! 00:01:17.780 --> 00:01:18.740 *more screeching* 00:01:18.340 --> 00:01:19.220 For the Valhalla! 00:01:19.220 --> 00:01:20.040 Ah, my leg! 00:01:22.340 --> 00:01:24.080 ...of the tenthousands... 00:01:24.080 --> 00:01:25.860 Germany for the Germany 00:01:25.860 --> 00:01:30.420 Like I'm not anti-semitic, or whatever it's called. Okay, so don't get the wrong idea 00:01:26.220 --> 00:01:30.260 Like I'm not anti-Semitic or whatever it's called okay so don't get the wrong idea 00:01:30.260 --> 00:01:35.200 *more screeching* 00:01:30.420 --> 00:01:37.380 *autistic screaching* 00:01:35.200 --> 00:01:37.200 *more screeching* 00:01:37.460 --> 00:01:39.540 Why am I playing this, what's the fucking point? 00:01:39.640 --> 00:01:40.540 play happy wheels 00:01:40.700 --> 00:01:42.240 I mean I love fucking happy wheels 00:01:42.600 --> 00:01:43.100 Geez 00:01:43.620 --> 00:01:46.540 What? What is this? "Download on the app store" 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:48.180 Uh 00:01:49.540 --> 00:01:53.240 I gotta, I gotta download this right now Happy Wheels on my phone 00:01:53.380 --> 00:01:56.680 We are truly living in the cybernetic future 00:01:56.920 --> 00:01:57.960 Arright so Happy Wheels 00:02:00.860 --> 00:02:02.080 Where the fuck is it 00:02:03.140 --> 00:02:05.280 Happy Bicycle on Crazy Hills 00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:09.700 Happy Wheels Adventure 2017 00:02:10.360 --> 00:02:12.260 Happy Zombie Wheels 00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:16.800 Happy Wheels Unicycle 00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:18.120 Happy Bicycle 00:02:18.780 --> 00:02:19.720 That's me 00:02:20.640 --> 00:02:23.520 That's fucking my fa- that's me that's my fanart 00:02:24.480 --> 00:02:25.800 What the! 00:02:26.480 --> 00:02:26.980 Okay 00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:27.620 Umm 00:02:28.680 --> 00:02:30.120 Let's start, lets- here we go 00:02:32.740 --> 00:02:35.600 Oh shit he can suck himself off look at that dawg 00:02:35.600 --> 00:02:36.100 Ugh 00:02:37.440 --> 00:02:37.940 Fuck 00:02:38.660 --> 00:02:39.620 Suck my own dick 00:02:39.960 --> 00:02:40.460 Jump 00:02:41.060 --> 00:02:41.960 Suck my own dick 00:02:42.240 --> 00:02:42.740 Jump 00:02:44.360 --> 00:02:45.400 Suck my own dick 00:02:46.240 --> 00:02:46.740 Jump! 00:02:47.520 --> 00:02:48.440 If only life were this 00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:50.100 Fuuck goddamnit 00:02:50.320 --> 00:02:50.820 Wow! 00:02:51.180 --> 00:02:54.520 These apps are actually way better than playing actual Happy Wheels 00:02:54.740 --> 00:02:56.660 *Play Happy Wheels* 00:02:56.660 --> 00:02:58.380 I should be playing the real Happy Wheels 00:02:58.940 --> 00:03:02.320 The real Happy Wheels is my favorite game of all time 00:03:02.600 --> 00:03:06.120 Welcome to Happy Wheels episode 101 00:03:07.220 --> 00:03:09.680 Let's look at the best ones this month 00:03:11.200 --> 00:03:12.560 Sword Throw! 00:03:13.040 --> 00:03:14.260 I love Sword Throw 00:03:14.860 --> 00:03:18.600 You take a fucking sword and then you shove it up Timmy's asshole 00:03:19.400 --> 00:03:20.680 Is Timmy doing a Satanic sign 00:03:21.140 --> 00:03:22.640 No no no no no we can't show that! 00:03:22.940 --> 00:03:23.800 Here we go 00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:25.160 Here we go Timmy 00:03:25.540 --> 00:03:27.280 Was that your name? I forgot 00:03:27.340 --> 00:03:29.300 I mean I don't caree 00:03:30.620 --> 00:03:32.040 Timmy voice: "But dad I am scared" 00:03:32.560 --> 00:03:33.060 That's uh 00:03:35.500 --> 00:03:36.700 I don't care ahah 00:03:37.220 --> 00:03:38.180 I'm having fun 00:03:40.760 --> 00:03:41.980 Oh shit dawg 00:03:46.980 --> 00:03:47.860 Ayy we made it 00:03:48.280 --> 00:03:49.300 how abou' dahh 00:03:50.360 --> 00:03:51.320 HOW about... 00:03:52.120 --> 00:03:52.920 goddamn wall 00:03:53.700 --> 00:03:54.200 Come on 00:03:54.500 --> 00:03:55.000 Come on 00:03:55.680 --> 00:03:56.180 Why am I doing this 00:03:57.160 --> 00:03:58.680 It's so fucking stupid 00:03:59.220 --> 00:04:00.820 It's the same levels over 00:04:00.820 --> 00:04:02.560 *Play Happy Wheels* 00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:04.300 Oh My Gawdddd 00:04:04.880 --> 00:04:08.040 It's pogo man vs naked girls 00:04:09.160 --> 00:04:13.400 That's.. a little girl.. that's.. arright 00:04:14.260 --> 00:04:17.040 PEDOPHELIA THAT'S-THAT WAS WHAT WAS MISSING! 00:04:18.220 --> 00:04:19.020 HERE WE GO 00:04:19.740 --> 00:04:21.020 *screaming* 00:04:25.200 --> 00:04:26.000 That's fine 00:04:26.340 --> 00:04:28.180 I've been fucked by worse 00:04:30.860 --> 00:04:32.540 Here we go don't hit my ass 00:04:32.700 --> 00:04:33.580 What did I say? 00:04:33.580 --> 00:04:40.320 *Music* 00:04:43.040 --> 00:04:44.940 Arright fo fucks sakee 00:04:45.280 --> 00:04:45.780 Ayy 00:04:46.460 --> 00:04:47.340 We meet agian 00:04:48.400 --> 00:04:53.540 Why is this goddamn fucking level so fucking hard I don't remember this game being so fucking 00:04:53.540 --> 00:04:54.740 GODDAMNIT 00:05:01.400 --> 00:05:03.800 Just stay, lay still honey, lay still and trust me 00:05:01.960 --> 00:05:04.500 Just stay, lay still honey, lay still and trust me 00:05:04.180 --> 00:05:05.500 Do you trust me? 00:05:05.760 --> 00:05:06.260 Yes 00:05:07.780 --> 00:05:09.360 I mean yes 00:05:09.940 --> 00:05:10.440 See 00:05:12.400 --> 00:05:14.400 00:05:17.620 --> 00:05:18.720 NEXT LEVEL 00:05:19.240 --> 00:05:21.920 Get in the Box utra, yay! 00:05:22.340 --> 00:05:23.280 Yay! 00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:24.720 Uhh 00:05:25.780 --> 00:05:26.700 Get in the box 00:05:32.940 --> 00:05:36.160 This is fucking pissing me off, I fucking hate this piece of shit 00:05:37.980 --> 00:05:40.140 I'm a 26 year old 00:05:41.700 --> 00:05:42.200 Hey 00:05:43.740 --> 00:05:44.240 Heyya 00:05:48.520 --> 00:05:51.180 Hey how you doin', uhu, my name a Jeff 00:05:51.320 --> 00:05:52.040 There it is 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:53.560 WHY 00:05:54.140 --> 00:05:54.860 There it is 00:05:55.680 --> 00:05:56.880 Arright here we go 00:05:57.160 --> 00:05:57.720 Fuck yes 00:06:00.260 --> 00:06:03.480 Das right I'm the Happy Wheels King 00:06:04.340 --> 00:06:06.820 King, king hail POODIEPIE 00:06:06.820 --> 00:06:07.320 Bitch 00:06:07.960 --> 00:06:09.160 12 weapons 00:06:25.500 --> 00:06:28.000 00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:30.000 00:06:42.300 --> 00:06:44.060 *Play Happy Wheels* 00:06:44.520 --> 00:06:47.320 So now in Happy Wheels you can press stuff? 00:06:57.780 --> 00:07:04.420 *drinks* 00:07:05.940 --> 00:07:07.940 *looks up the time* 00:07:22.360 --> 00:07:24.100 Oh it's over okay wow 00:07:26.260 --> 00:07:26.760 woaah 00:07:27.480 --> 00:07:27.980 woohw 00:07:28.360 --> 00:07:28.860 dude 00:07:28.920 --> 00:07:30.200 duudee 00:07:30.640 --> 00:07:32.080 Harpoon dodge 2 00:07:31.960 --> 00:07:33.940 b0ss 00:07:34.100 --> 00:07:37.160 Okay let's do the Harpoon Dodge Here we go 00:07:37.300 --> 00:07:38.480 I am excited 00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:41.240 You gotta click now to star that's a arright level 1 00:07:41.800 --> 00:07:45.860 Don't fucking fuck me or I'll... I'll dodge you, I'll dodge you harpoons 00:07:46.500 --> 00:07:47.220 I'll doge you 00:07:48.120 --> 00:07:48.660 Bring... 00:07:49.200 --> 00:07:50.080 Ah, you missed me 00:07:50.300 --> 00:07:51.100 You missed me 00:07:51.480 --> 00:07:51.980 Oh God 00:07:53.160 --> 00:07:55.980 Oh my God I gotta... ahh, fuck, ah sh... okay, stand still 00:07:57.400 --> 00:07:59.960 Just... ah okay, duck, duck, duck! 00:08:00.860 --> 00:08:01.500 Oh my gawd 00:08:02.120 --> 00:08:03.080 oh, oh boy 00:08:03.080 --> 00:08:03.640 oh golly 00:08:06.000 --> 00:08:08.320 Holy shit that was some matrix shit 00:08:10.500 --> 00:08:22.880 *sad music* 00:08:23.100 --> 00:08:24.340 Why are we still here 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:29.700 *sad music* 00:08:29.880 --> 00:08:30.840 Just to suffer 00:08:33.700 --> 00:08:34.500 Everynight... 00:08:35.320 --> 00:08:36.440 I can feel my leg 00:08:36.700 --> 00:08:44.440 *sad music* 00:08:44.660 --> 00:08:46.080 ...and my arm... 00:08:46.680 --> 00:08:48.680 ...and my fingers! 00:08:48.800 --> 00:08:57.200 *sad music* 00:08:57.540 --> 00:08:58.100 Ainsley 00:09:00.140 --> 00:09:01.240 *nazi-salute* 00:09:01.240 --> 00:09:02.360 You put a spell on me! 00:09:04.920 --> 00:09:06.680 I don't wanna play this shit! 00:09:07.620 --> 00:09:08.200 Why? 00:09:09.320 --> 00:09:09.820 Why? 00:09:10.360 --> 00:09:14.120 The answer is simple, the body that I have lost 00:09:15.100 --> 00:09:16.420 The comrades i have lost... 00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:20.000 ...wont stop hurting. 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:20.000 wont stopped hurting.... 00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:23.000 It's just like they're all still there 00:09:24.980 --> 00:09:26.680 You feel it too, don't you? 00:09:30.660 --> 00:09:32.820 I'm gonna make them give back our past. 00:09:33.500 --> 00:09:35.500 *poods burning Ainsley* 00:09:41.100 --> 00:09:42.140 I see now. 00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:44.160 I understand. 00:09:45.340 --> 00:09:46.480 What I must do: 00:09:49.760 --> 00:09:54.700 00:09:51.400 --> 00:09:52.480 AHHH! 00:10:05.000 --> 00:10:06.340 You're free Ainsley! 00:10:08.180 --> 00:10:09.080 We're free! 00:10:08.680 --> 00:10:11.040 You don't have to play this game anymore 00:10:09.280 --> 00:10:11.240 We don't have to play this game anymore! 00:10:12.340 --> 00:10:13.920 The spell is gone! 00:10:12.520 --> 00:10:13.920 The spell is gone 00:10:14.000 --> 00:10:16.220 Now I can finally play what I want! 00:10:22.020 --> 00:10:22.580 good one 00:10:23.500 --> 00:10:27.020 We're now looking for brain transplants for Ainsley. 00:10:27.500 --> 00:10:30.500 Please, if you have a brain, donate down below. 00:10:30.500 --> 00:10:36.500 Any amount would be..eeeehhheeh, any or all your money would be... 00:10:36.500 --> 00:10:38.500 ..would be.. 00:10:38.500 --> 00:10:40.500 ...sigh... would make such a difference.