WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.700
Don't click away PLEASE

00:00:01.700 --> 00:00:03.700
I - I need that click rate - shit

00:00:04.140 --> 00:00:06.140
Shit - Do something as entertaining!

00:00:06.460 --> 00:00:08.360
*looks for something to entertain with*

00:00:08.560 --> 00:00:09.560
*I want to die*

00:00:09.560 --> 00:00:11.180
GREAT - Now that I've got your attention

00:00:11.400 --> 00:00:12.200
How long...

00:00:12.420 --> 00:00:13.700
How long...

00:00:14.340 --> 00:00:15.800
Howww looong...

00:00:16.420 --> 00:00:18.420
Can you keep watch?

00:00:18.420 --> 00:00:23.620
*inspirational muzak*

00:00:23.680 --> 00:00:26.040
The goal is to watch as long as possible. *thinks about the setup his has placed on himself*

00:00:26.040 --> 00:00:28.040
I'm gonna link all the videos in the description

00:00:28.040 --> 00:00:30.100
so you folks at home can play along. (lowkey has no choice)

00:00:30.100 --> 00:00:35.320
"Windows XP startup sound slowed down to 24 hours."

00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:44.760
*Questions life choices*

00:00:44.760 --> 00:00:46.760
*Feels the force*

00:00:46.760 --> 00:00:48.760
*Becomes one with Buddha*

00:00:48.760 --> 00:00:49.780
*Ponders what to eat for dinner*

00:00:49.980 --> 00:00:53.700
YouTube 2016, everybody...

00:00:53.700 --> 00:00:55.040
What the fuck is this?

00:00:58.020 --> 00:00:59.280
Oh, I love this song!

00:00:59.280 --> 00:01:01.280
*starts dancing*

00:01:09.360 --> 00:01:11.360
[screams in pain]

00:01:11.740 --> 00:01:14.580
*recorder noises which are mistaken for a flute*

00:01:15.420 --> 00:01:16.580
What is this?

00:01:18.200 --> 00:01:19.000
[Oh my god help pls it hurts]

00:01:20.720 --> 00:01:22.040
This is my JAM!

00:01:22.720 --> 00:01:24.720
*starts playing recorder along with the video*

00:01:26.700 --> 00:01:28.700
*EPIC RECORDER PLAYING BY PEWDS*

00:01:29.440 --> 00:01:31.440
(what that mouth do)

00:01:35.620 --> 00:01:37.620
(dayum poods really know his blowin you kno what im sayin)

00:01:38.660 --> 00:01:40.660
*recorder becomes more distorted*

00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:45.300
"Why I'm a feminist?"

00:01:48.860 --> 00:01:50.380
How long am I?

00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:52.840
So far, not so bad - Oh, god.

00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:54.380
[lacigreen]: The rumors are true...

00:01:54.380 --> 00:01:56.380
what they've been saying about me...

00:01:56.380 --> 00:01:59.420
I have to come clean... I, lacigreen

00:02:00.060 --> 00:02:01.120
am a feminist! [distorted]

00:02:01.320 --> 00:02:03.320
*mockingly* "What? You're a lesbian now?"

00:02:03.760 --> 00:02:05.820
"Man hater; hairy-armpits..."

00:02:05.820 --> 00:02:07.340
"Say it ain't so!"

00:02:08.120 --> 00:02:10.320
[pewds reads]: "please thumbs up for gender equality"

00:02:11.640 --> 00:02:14.500
Yeah, lets get some - lets get some likes on our video for...

00:02:15.300 --> 00:02:17.580
Gender equality... What the... fuck, is that

00:02:17.580 --> 00:02:18.500
ironic?

00:02:18.800 --> 00:02:20.460
Or is it serious? I can't tell.

00:02:20.460 --> 00:02:22.340
[Lacigreen]: I think that  feminism is both kickass

00:02:22.340 --> 00:02:23.500
and super important

00:02:23.500 --> 00:02:25.380
and here are a few of my reasons why.

00:02:25.380 --> 00:02:26.200
Oh, god.

00:02:26.380 --> 00:02:28.380
[Lacigreen; because girls are taught IN PUBLIC school

00:02:28.520 --> 00:02:30.760
that once she has sex, she'll lose a part of herself.

00:02:30.940 --> 00:02:32.420
What school did you go to?

00:02:32.860 --> 00:02:35.240
What kind - What fucking school was that?

00:02:35.240 --> 00:02:36.640
Please tell! I'm curious!

00:02:36.640 --> 00:02:38.060
I wasn't taught that in school! *struugles to think about it *

00:02:38.060 --> 00:02:43.300
*cathartic recorder playing*

00:02:43.340 --> 00:02:43.840
[Blndsundoll4mj]: "Hey guys and today -"

00:02:44.000 --> 00:02:45.360
Blndsundoll4mj: "Hey guys and today -"
[Pewds]: Ohh no, no!

00:02:45.360 --> 00:02:47.360
I can't even not do a fucking second.

00:02:47.440 --> 00:02:49.440
"My longest yeah boi ever".

00:02:49.780 --> 00:03:09.360
YEAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

00:03:09.380 --> 00:03:15.420
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

00:03:15.420 --> 00:03:16.360
Jeesus!

00:03:16.360 --> 00:03:17.540
Alright, you know what?

00:03:17.540 --> 00:03:20.460
I bet I can do it longer! I bet I can do it longer!

00:03:21.520 --> 00:03:30.940
[Pewds and video]: YEAH BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

00:03:30.940 --> 00:03:44.160
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

00:03:44.180 --> 00:03:47.820
*Pewds in agony*

00:03:48.960 --> 00:03:50.120
[screams]

00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:52.280
[screams]

00:03:52.280 --> 00:03:54.280
FUCK! I got beated.

00:03:55.020 --> 00:03:56.280
Dammit, Danny!

00:03:56.280 --> 00:03:58.280
Don't look at me!

00:03:58.280 --> 00:04:02.000
*crazy recorder blowing in sync with video*

00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:04.000
[Tongue clicks] noice ;)

00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:06.000
I've seen this

00:04:06.000 --> 00:04:08.000
[More tongue clickings]

00:04:08.000 --> 00:04:10.000
*Pewds raising eyebrows*

00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:12.000
It's just gonna keep going..?

00:04:12.000 --> 00:04:12.500
[MORE TONGUE CLICKINGS]

00:04:12.500 --> 00:04:13.000
*realizes what he's gotten himself into* ohhhh

00:04:13.000 --> 00:04:15.000
[MOOOORRREEE TONGUE CLICKINGS]

00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:16.380
ohh

00:04:16.560 --> 00:04:18.140
[Tongue Click followed by 'Nice.' continues to slow]

00:04:18.140 --> 00:04:20.160
oohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

00:04:20.900 --> 00:04:22.000
*shakes head*

00:04:22.000 --> 00:04:24.000
*Pewds starts laughing*

00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:26.000
*laughing even more*

00:04:27.500 --> 00:04:30.000
eeeeeerrrrrrrr (pewds mating call)

00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:31.100
not even halfway!

00:04:31.740 --> 00:04:33.740
{The sound has devolved into something scary by now, you can't even hear the 'Nice' anymore}

00:04:39.000 --> 00:04:42.000
I'm SCAREDDD! O:

00:04:44.740 --> 00:04:46.240
what the fUCk???

00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:49.980
youtube 2016 is so fucking weird (no fucking shit)

00:04:50.300 --> 00:04:54.000
I don't-- who comes up with these ideas?? (THE MEMES.)

00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:56.000
[Video]: hi baby girl <3
[Pewds]: oh no not this one

00:04:57.000 --> 00:04:57.760
[video]: everything's ok (NO it IS NOT)

00:04:57.760 --> 00:04:58.280
i promise

00:04:58.280 --> 00:04:59.580
[Pewds]: No its not ok D:

00:04:59.580 --> 00:05:00.540
[Scary Ginger...?]: I forgive you ;)

00:05:00.540 --> 00:05:01.520
[Pewds]: DON'T - I didn't do anything!

00:05:01.540 --> 00:05:02.740
[Video]: It's okay, don't worry about it.

00:05:02.740 --> 00:05:03.240
[Pewds]: k fine.

00:05:03.240 --> 00:05:04.940
[Video]: Everything's gonna be ok.

00:05:04.940 --> 00:05:05.600
[Pewds]: Thank you <3

00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:06.300
[Cringy Daddy]: I love you :*

00:05:06.300 --> 00:05:06.980
[Pewds]: I love you too.

00:05:07.320 --> 00:05:07.900
[I ship it]

00:05:08.600 --> 00:05:09.320
Video: I love you so much. (YES DADDY)

00:05:09.320 --> 00:05:10.260
Pewds: I love YOU so much.

00:05:10.360 --> 00:05:10.860
<3

00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:13.920
Video: I love you more than there are grains of sand c:

00:05:13.920 --> 00:05:14.640
Pewds: in the - in the universe?

00:05:14.660 --> 00:05:15.620
iN EVERY BeaCH

00:05:15.620 --> 00:05:17.080
pewds: in every beach in the universe.

00:05:17.080 --> 00:05:17.920
OF EVERY PLANET

00:05:17.920 --> 00:05:18.440
Pewds: every planet. *nods affirmatively*

00:05:19.440 --> 00:05:20.900
OF EVERY GALAXY

00:05:21.020 --> 00:05:23.580
*deep breaths*

00:05:23.580 --> 00:05:24.620
Pewds: MARZIA

00:05:24.620 --> 00:05:25.360
Video: and I need you in my life

00:05:25.860 --> 00:05:26.500
Pewds: I'm sorry.

00:05:26.960 --> 00:05:30.040
video: I need you more than humans need water and food to survive

00:05:30.040 --> 00:05:30.740
Pewds: PFFTT

00:05:31.740 --> 00:05:33.420
Y'know, if this is a parody

00:05:33.420 --> 00:05:34.580
it'd be pretty interesting

00:05:34.580 --> 00:05:36.500
like [this is] pretty well done

00:05:36.500 --> 00:05:39.660
I'm pretty sure this is real like this guy did this for a girl.

00:05:39.660 --> 00:05:40.160
I love you ;*

00:05:40.160 --> 00:05:40.900
(Maxmoefoe regurgitates... Something.)

00:05:42.440 --> 00:05:45.220
[Pewds]: I-I love you. (i love u 2 :3 )

00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:47.460
[Pewds] I lo- don't worry.. (Umm...)

00:05:47.460 --> 00:05:48.840
It's gonna be okay :)

00:05:49.180 --> 00:05:49.780
Babygirl.. (2far4me)

00:05:50.080 --> 00:05:51.300
(this is enough ok lets stop...)

00:05:51.300 --> 00:05:52.660
I love you so much.

00:05:52.660 --> 00:05:54.340
You're so beautiful today... :)

00:05:55.160 --> 00:05:56.500
I wish I could smell you... (um)

00:05:56.640 --> 00:05:57.620
(ok bye im outie)

00:05:57.620 --> 00:05:58.460
[that stare tho]

00:05:58.460 --> 00:06:00.600
I wish I could tell you it's gonna be okay... :))

00:06:00.600 --> 00:06:01.240
:))))))))

00:06:01.240 --> 00:06:02.640
I wish I could hold you -

00:06:02.640 --> 00:06:03.500
hold you near...

00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:04.240
(I feel violated.)

00:06:04.240 --> 00:06:05.300
and kiss you...

00:06:05.600 --> 00:06:06.500
on the lips.

00:06:07.180 --> 00:06:07.940
[D:]

00:06:08.840 --> 00:06:09.640
[what dat mouth do part 2]

00:06:10.500 --> 00:06:11.640
(Uh...AHHHHHHHHHHH)

00:06:12.860 --> 00:06:13.760
~that's beautiful.~

00:06:13.860 --> 00:06:14.880
~the view is beautiful~

00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:17.680
*sexual moaning*

00:06:19.320 --> 00:06:21.900
How was that, was that as good for you as it was for me?

00:06:21.900 --> 00:06:22.660
(that was oddly arousing)

00:06:22.660 --> 00:06:27.340
*MORE LIT TUNES*

00:06:28.000 --> 00:06:29.680
(Creep warning. Just saying.)

00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:31.400
*casual vaping*

00:06:31.520 --> 00:06:32.220
[this dude creepy af]

00:06:32.820 --> 00:06:33.500
(wtf)

00:06:33.500 --> 00:06:34.000
{that guy looks kinda like Rob from threadbanger wtf}

00:06:34.860 --> 00:06:39.260
Y'know, I don't know if you guys have ever been on TV, but then you kinda have to force a smile.

00:06:39.260 --> 00:06:40.700
:)))))

00:06:40.700 --> 00:06:41.220
And it's hard -

00:06:41.220 --> 00:06:42.900
It's hard to do that.

00:06:44.040 --> 00:06:45.240
It's not very easy.

00:06:45.240 --> 00:06:47.880
Try and watch the remainder of this video just sitting like this.

00:06:47.880 --> 00:06:48.960
:))))))))))

00:06:48.960 --> 00:06:51.260
I'm joking. You look insane; stop doing that.

00:06:51.940 --> 00:06:54.820
Wait, 2:36 someone breaks into his house...

00:06:55.200 --> 00:06:56.520
*door opens*

00:06:59.400 --> 00:06:59.900
[(Possible)Roommate]: Hello?

00:07:00.280 --> 00:07:01.160
WHAT THE FUCK?

00:07:01.240 --> 00:07:01.740
{O_O}

00:07:02.060 --> 00:07:03.140
SOMEONE'S COMING IN!

00:07:03.140 --> 00:07:04.140
UUUUUUGH

00:07:04.140 --> 00:07:06.380
He's just staying there?! He's not gonna say "hi"?!

00:07:06.680 --> 00:07:08.680
You can't break it for a second?

00:07:09.240 --> 00:07:12.120
What the fuck?! Who's this poor roommate to this guy?

00:07:12.340 --> 00:07:14.860
I'd be fucking terrified.*pee's pants*

00:07:15.240 --> 00:07:18.960
(TOOT TOOT TOOT) {~to bad that she couldn't see, see the ma-~}

00:07:18.960 --> 00:07:19.460
*pewdie note solo*

00:07:20.540 --> 00:07:21.900
Oh it's Fouse-

00:07:21.700 --> 00:07:23.520
Alright one second, how about that

00:07:23.600 --> 00:07:24.100
one second

00:07:24.100 --> 00:07:24.920
You got me

00:07:25.020 --> 00:07:29.120
(DANK JAMMING)

00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:31.540
"we are number one but every original one-

00:07:31.540 --> 00:07:35.040
is replaced with an entire episode of lazytown"

00:07:35.040 --> 00:07:37.900
[Video]: -Nah. Have you ever caught a good guy like a-

00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:41.920
[funky saxophone playing the melody]

00:07:41.920 --> 00:07:44.940
*pewdie tries to play along*

00:07:44.940 --> 00:07:45.440
🎵Hey! :D🎵

00:07:45.440 --> 00:07:49.640
*music starts*
(OH YES THE LAZYTOWN MEMES)

00:07:49.640 --> 00:07:50.480
🎵We are number-🎵

00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:53.480
*Lazytown opening theme plays and pewds sings along* Ooohhh, da-da-da-do-do-da-da-da

00:07:53.480 --> 00:07:55.680
WELLCOOOMME TO LAZYTOWN

00:07:55.960 --> 00:07:56.520
an entire episode

00:07:56.520 --> 00:07:57.640
four hours - great

00:07:57.640 --> 00:07:58.800
I'm not gonna waste my fucking time.

00:07:58.820 --> 00:07:59.780
Alright, what else we got.

00:07:59.780 --> 00:08:03.620
We're gonna finish off with an anime.

00:08:04.360 --> 00:08:06.280
Alright, well, this is pretty good so far.

00:08:08.320 --> 00:08:10.080
Oh, there's a guy by the road~

00:08:10.580 --> 00:08:11.220
*snorts*

00:08:12.600 --> 00:08:13.440
*recognizes the Japanese* Excuse me!

00:08:16.640 --> 00:08:19.180
I don't know what else he's saying, I just know "sumimasen".

00:08:21.660 --> 00:08:22.160
OH

00:08:22.400 --> 00:08:23.660
(wtf is this...)

00:08:24.400 --> 00:08:25.820
Okay, well, it's a very graphic anime.

00:08:27.720 --> 00:08:28.220
OH

00:08:28.420 --> 00:08:28.920
she's -

00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:29.540
oh?

00:08:29.700 --> 00:08:30.200
wait?!

00:08:30.300 --> 00:08:30.800
what?

00:08:31.220 --> 00:08:31.780
WHAT!?! (same)

00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:34.300
THE FUCK IS THAT (same)

00:08:37.580 --> 00:08:38.240
WHY IS HE TINY?!?

00:08:38.780 --> 00:08:39.660
Am I watching like...

00:08:39.980 --> 00:08:40.760
pedophilia?

00:08:40.760 --> 00:08:41.920
What is this..?

00:08:41.940 --> 00:08:43.320
[porn alert] {ends at 9:35 if you want to skip, it's very uncomfortable}

00:08:45.020 --> 00:08:49.600
OHHHHHHHHHHHH

00:08:45.060 --> 00:08:48.900
Ooooooooo x100

00:08:48.900 --> 00:08:49.600
{who lives in a pineapple under the sea}

00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:50.100
kay

00:08:50.160 --> 00:08:51.840
IT TOOK YOU SEVEN MINUTES

00:08:52.160 --> 00:08:52.660
NO

00:08:52.660 --> 00:08:53.980
WHAT THE FUCK

00:08:55.540 --> 00:08:57.060
[STOP RN ]

00:08:57.580 --> 00:08:58.340
UGHHH D:

00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:00.420
I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT

00:09:01.760 --> 00:09:02.260
UGH

00:09:02.380 --> 00:09:02.880
WHOA

00:09:02.960 --> 00:09:03.460
WHOA

00:09:03.460 --> 00:09:03.960
WHOA

00:09:03.960 --> 00:09:05.400
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

00:09:05.740 --> 00:09:06.540
[laughs nervously]

00:09:08.160 --> 00:09:09.260
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING??? (what the actual fuck)

00:09:10.960 --> 00:09:11.800
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

00:09:14.500 --> 00:09:15.100
[SCREAMS AT THE UNEXPECTED]

00:09:15.260 --> 00:09:15.760
OHH

00:09:15.880 --> 00:09:16.760
SHIT IT'S HERS D:<

00:09:17.240 --> 00:09:18.820
WHY IS HE SO TINY??? (that's what she said)

00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:23.240
I DONT UNDERSTAANND

00:09:23.340 --> 00:09:24.300
AHHHHHHHHHHH

00:09:24.800 --> 00:09:25.300
WHHHAT (pewds is dying)

00:09:26.060 --> 00:09:27.420
WHATT THE FUUUU

00:09:27.880 --> 00:09:28.760
[sOMebody save me please..]

00:09:30.120 --> 00:09:30.620
WOOOO

00:09:31.220 --> 00:09:34.320
what the fuck is that?! what is happening??

00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:35.120
I DONT UNDERSTANNDD

00:09:36.700 --> 00:09:37.340
wait, what

00:09:37.340 --> 00:09:37.980
it's over?

00:09:38.500 --> 00:09:39.140
already?

00:09:39.980 --> 00:09:41.340
I watched the whole thing?

00:09:42.500 --> 00:09:43.000
huh.

00:09:45.300 --> 00:09:46.260
How 'bout that.

00:09:47.120 --> 00:09:47.680
I swear I-

00:09:49.380 --> 00:09:50.320
I swear it's just a minute.

00:09:50.780 --> 00:09:51.280
WELLL,

00:09:51.300 --> 00:09:53.080
it seems like that was it, wasn't it?

00:09:53.080 --> 00:09:54.020
How long did you last?

00:09:54.780 --> 00:09:55.280
Don't answer that -

00:09:55.280 --> 00:09:55.860
Don't answer that

00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:58.380
but leave a like if you did better than me.

00:09:58.380 --> 00:10:01.740
Lets finish this up with my longest "YEA BOI" ever.

00:10:01.740 --> 00:10:02.940
You can play along!

00:10:03.100 --> 00:10:03.600
YEAH

00:10:03.600 --> 00:10:07.660
BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-

00:10:07.660 --> 00:10:09.660
*covers ears*

00:10:09.660 --> 00:10:11.660
*dank outro*

00:10:11.660 --> 00:10:13.660
*dank outro*

00:10:13.660 --> 00:10:15.660
*dank outro*

00:10:15.660 --> 00:10:17.660
*dank outro*

00:10:17.660 --> 00:10:19.660
*the dankest outro*

00:10:19.660 --> 00:10:21.660
*the dankest outro*

00:10:21.660 --> 00:10:23.660
*the dankest outro*

00:10:23.660 --> 00:10:25.660
*the dankest outro*

00:10:25.660 --> 00:10:27.660
*the dankest outro*