WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Felix: Hey, Marzia! I have a surprise for you.

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Automated Voice: What the fuck is this, Felix?

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Felix: It's your favorite game!

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*clap*

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Automated Voice: Is it Happy Wheels again?

00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:13.620
Felix: No.

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Automated Voice: It better not be, Felix, else I am

00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:18.240
breaking up with you for Jack Spedicy

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John Cena: Are you sure about that?

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Felix: This game...is so much more than

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just hot "babes". Okay?

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Felix: This game is about: friendship, volleyball

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and having a great time.

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Marzia: M'kay. "Press any button".

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*presses button*

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*Felix laughing*

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Marzia: It didn't work.

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Felix: No, it's a *presses controller button*

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Marzia: Oh.

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Marzia: Where's mine?

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Felix: No, you don't get to play.

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Marzia: What?!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Felix: No. You *get* to play.

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Felix: Okay, you're gonna have to pick my girlfriend

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--Uh, I mean, my, uh...

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Marzia: Excuse me?

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Felix: *laughing nervously*

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Marzia: Ooh, can I pick?

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Felix: Yeah, so, you pick--you pick

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where you wanna go.

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Press, uh, press circle to go somewhere.

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Felix: You want to go to the 'Jack of Trades'

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Good choice. Uh, perhaps, buy some fabric.

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A cheesecake.

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A crab, perhaps.

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Felix: Buy the crab, Marzia.

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(insert savage teXt)

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Felix: You're really good at this game.

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Buy the crab, c'mon, buy the crab

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Felix: If I was an anime babe, I would love a crab.

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Felix: Thank you.

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Automated Voice: Okay, could you now shut the fuck up

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about buying crabs, now?

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(windows startup sound)

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*Windows XP startup sound bass boosted*

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Marzia: Okay, what else do I do now?

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Felix: Uh, well, go back with 'x'.

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You can't really do anything--you just buy stuff there.

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So, if you wanna go--

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"Marzia: Tenerife? (island in Canary islands)"

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Felix *sarcastically*: "Tenerife", that's right, it's "Tenerife"

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Felix: So, go down, okay, you--you...

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Okay.

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Now, we just get to see her for no reason, so.

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Felix: I don't--I don't know what's happening.

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Marzia: Well, I know what's happening.

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*laughter*

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Felix: Why are you--what did you select, Marzia?

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Felix: Okay, wait--what?

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Oh! Okay. I never done this.

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But, I've heard about this.

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...

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You have to take pictures.

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Felix: Wait, no-no-no. Careful, you don't want

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to skip anything.

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Felix: You skipped it!

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What the hell?

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Felix: Alright, so this game you are

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running against each other. Okay?

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You start pressing 'x' as fast as you can.

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Marzia: Wait, how are they running like that?

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*laughter*

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Felix: GO

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Not too fast, though. Not too fast.(heheheh)

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Marzia: Why?

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Felix: You fall. You'll fall.

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Too fast--too slow.

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Go faster.

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Marzia! What are you doing?

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Marzia: Who am I?

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Felix: I built a reputa--you don't even know

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who you are?!

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No, you're not! You're the girl!

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You're ruining my highscore.

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Marzia: We have some--

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Felix: I built hours of relationships in this game.

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Marzia: 'Mission failed'?!(we'll get em next time)

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Felix: You failed a mission?

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Marzia: /You/ failed.

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Felix: How did I--I didn't even play!

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Marzia: She failed.

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Felix: That's right.

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...

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Marzia: Who is it? What is this?

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Felix: I don't--I don't know.

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I'm tryna figure it out

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Hey! It's the twelve year old in the game.

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boobs

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Felix: Good job, Japan.

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Tranquil Beach sounds good, doesn't it?

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Marzia: Sure.

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Felix: Okay. And then pick--pick one of the red ones.

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Marzia: Okay, this is 'quit'. Okay?

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Felix: What?

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Marzia: That is quit.

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Felix: What does that mean?

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Marzia: Like, not this. 'Cause, she talked to--

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Felix: What are you saying?

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Felix: Mountain climbing!

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I never done this. I-I've been trying to find this.

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How did you find this?

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Which one was it?

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We're gonna mountain climb, Marzia.

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Gonna climb. We gonna go high up.

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Then, as you do on a holiday.

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Marzia: This seems like a bad idea.

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Felix: No, it's a good idea. She's fine. OMG

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*laughing*

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She's ready.

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Go!

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No, you gotta hit the-you gotta hit the *pointing*

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Marzia: Okay, okay.

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Felix: C'mon. Don't DIE.

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Marzia: This is--

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Felix: What happens if you fall?

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Why are you doing this?

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Marzia: This seems so dangerous.

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Felix: I kinda want her to fall. And die.

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And break her neck.

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The voice acting is...amazing.

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Marzia: Oh, look! She's sweaty.

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You see her?

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But her hair is perfect.

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What are we doing now?

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Felix: I don't know.

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♪ I just wanna tell you: you're all I love, yeah ♪

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Marzia: I can dance, you have to change me.

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Felix: Okay. I don't know how you

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change character--how would I know these things?

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Let me show you how it's--how it's done.

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Marzia: I mean, I mean look at her. She's like, so tall.

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Felix: Woah, what does this--

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Oh, I can take pictures!

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W O A H!

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How'd I do this? Oh!

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Marzia: Go!

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Felix: No, you're playing the game!

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dad ITS NOT WHAT YOU NOOOOO

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Go faster!

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You're winning, Marzia!

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Amazing!

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*laughing*

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*strained* Yes!

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Felix: Now you can pick--now you can pick.

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Marzia: Okay!

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Felix: Ooh.

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Marzia: So, that's the girl we had before.

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Don't like her.

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Don't like that.

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That one? Or, that one?

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Felix: I think I prefer that one.

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Marzia: Really?

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Felix: The other one looks a bit strange.

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Ok. Now you must play.

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You picked this.

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WHAT?

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Why?! WHY?!

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Okay, alright.

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Marzia: We're here against my babe.

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Felix: Oh! Oh! C'mon!

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Marzia: Look at my bad boings.

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Oh, you're good!

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Felix: What is happening?

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If we fall in, you're dead.

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Stop!

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S T O P !

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For fuck! Stop it!

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Ah!

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Ah!

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Stop!!

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C'mon!

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C'mon!

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Yay!

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*the text on screen is not being said at all*

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*Ainsley* "Ye-eah Boyah

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*Windows 'shut down' sound*