Felix: Hey, Marzia! I have a surprise for you.
Automated Voice: What the fuck is this, Felix?
Felix: It's your favorite game!
*clap*
Automated Voice: Is it Happy Wheels again?
Felix: No.
Automated Voice: It better not be, Felix, else I am
breaking up with you for Jack Spedicy
John Cena: Are you sure about that?
Felix: This game...is so much more than
just hot "babes". Okay?
Felix: This game is about: friendship, volleyball
and having a great time.
Marzia: M'kay. "Press any button".
*presses button*
*Felix laughing*
Marzia: It didn't work.
Felix: No, it's a *presses controller button*
Marzia: Oh.
Marzia: Where's mine?
Felix: No, you don't get to play.
Marzia: What?!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Felix: No. You *get* to play.
Felix: Okay, you're gonna have to pick my girlfriend
--Uh, I mean, my, uh...
Marzia: Excuse me?
Felix: *laughing nervously*
Marzia: Ooh, can I pick?
Felix: Yeah, so, you pick--you pick
where you wanna go.
Press, uh, press circle to go somewhere.
Felix: You want to go to the 'Jack of Trades'
Good choice. Uh, perhaps, buy some fabric.
A cheesecake.
A crab, perhaps.
Felix: Buy the crab, Marzia.
(insert savage teXt)
Felix: You're really good at this game.
Buy the crab, c'mon, buy the crab
Felix: If I was an anime babe, I would love a crab.
Felix: Thank you.
Automated Voice: Okay, could you now shut the fuck up
about buying crabs, now?
(windows startup sound)
*Windows XP startup sound bass boosted*
Marzia: Okay, what else do I do now?
Felix: Uh, well, go back with 'x'.
You can't really do anything--you just buy stuff there.
So, if you wanna go--
"Marzia: Tenerife? (island in Canary islands)"
Felix *sarcastically*: "Tenerife", that's right, it's "Tenerife"
Felix: So, go down, okay, you--you...
Okay.
Now, we just get to see her for no reason, so.
Felix: I don't--I don't know what's happening.
Marzia: Well, I know what's happening.
*laughter*
Felix: Why are you--what did you select, Marzia?
Felix: Okay, wait--what?
Oh! Okay. I never done this.
But, I've heard about this.
...
You have to take pictures.
Felix: Wait, no-no-no. Careful, you don't want
to skip anything.
Felix: You skipped it!
What the hell?
Felix: Alright, so this game you are
running against each other. Okay?
You start pressing 'x' as fast as you can.
Marzia: Wait, how are they running like that?
*laughter*
Felix: GO
Not too fast, though. Not too fast.(heheheh)
Marzia: Why?
Felix: You fall. You'll fall.
Too fast--too slow.
Go faster.
Marzia! What are you doing?
Marzia: Who am I?
Felix: I built a reputa--you don't even know
who you are?!
No, you're not! You're the girl!
You're ruining my highscore.
Marzia: We have some--
Felix: I built hours of relationships in this game.
Marzia: 'Mission failed'?!(we'll get em next time)
Felix: You failed a mission?
Marzia: /You/ failed.
Felix: How did I--I didn't even play!
Marzia: She failed.
Felix: That's right.
...
Marzia: Who is it? What is this?
Felix: I don't--I don't know.
I'm tryna figure it out
Hey! It's the twelve year old in the game.
boobs
Felix: Good job, Japan.
Tranquil Beach sounds good, doesn't it?
Marzia: Sure.
Felix: Okay. And then pick--pick one of the red ones.
Marzia: Okay, this is 'quit'. Okay?
Felix: What?
Marzia: That is quit.
Felix: What does that mean?
Marzia: Like, not this. 'Cause, she talked to--
Felix: What are you saying?
Felix: Mountain climbing!
I never done this. I-I've been trying to find this.
How did you find this?
Which one was it?
We're gonna mountain climb, Marzia.
Gonna climb. We gonna go high up.
Then, as you do on a holiday.
Marzia: This seems like a bad idea.
Felix: No, it's a good idea. She's fine. OMG
*laughing*
She's ready.
Go!
No, you gotta hit the-you gotta hit the *pointing*
Marzia: Okay, okay.
Felix: C'mon. Don't DIE.
Marzia: This is--
Felix: What happens if you fall?
Why are you doing this?
Marzia: This seems so dangerous.
Felix: I kinda want her to fall. And die.
And break her neck.
The voice acting is...amazing.
Marzia: Oh, look! She's sweaty.
You see her?
But her hair is perfect.
What are we doing now?
Felix: I don't know.
♪ I just wanna tell you: you're all I love, yeah ♪
Marzia: I can dance, you have to change me.
Felix: Okay. I don't know how you
change character--how would I know these things?
Let me show you how it's--how it's done.
Marzia: I mean, I mean look at her. She's like, so tall.
Felix: Woah, what does this--
Oh, I can take pictures!
W O A H!
How'd I do this? Oh!
Marzia: Go!
Felix: No, you're playing the game!
dad ITS NOT WHAT YOU NOOOOO
Go faster!
You're winning, Marzia!
Amazing!
*laughing*
*strained* Yes!
Felix: Now you can pick--now you can pick.
Marzia: Okay!
Felix: Ooh.
Marzia: So, that's the girl we had before.
Don't like her.
Don't like that.
That one? Or, that one?
Felix: I think I prefer that one.
Marzia: Really?
Felix: The other one looks a bit strange.
Ok. Now you must play.
You picked this.
WHAT?
Why?! WHY?!
Okay, alright.
Marzia: We're here against my babe.
Felix: Oh! Oh! C'mon!
Marzia: Look at my bad boings.
Oh, you're good!
Felix: What is happening?
If we fall in, you're dead.
Stop!
S T O P !
For fuck! Stop it!
Ah!
Stop!!
C'mon!
Yay!
*the text on screen is not being said at all*
*Ainsley* "Ye-eah Boyah
*Windows 'shut down' sound*