WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en-GB

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(Sad Music)

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Why are we still here?

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just to suffer?

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Every night, I can feel my comments,

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and my subscribers,

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and even my channel.

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The subscribers I've lost.

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The comments I've lost.

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It won't stop hurting.

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You feel it, too, don't you?

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I'm gonna make them give back our past.

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The comments on YouTube!!!! (does weird dance moves)

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I am gonna bitch about the comments on YouTube once again.

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in 2014

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I made the video where I deleted my comments.

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Look at that beautiful face. (So true)

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Nothing!! Nothing has changed since that day.

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Look at it !

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LOOK AT IT!!!! (I AM)

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2014

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AAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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And then, after meetings and meetings with YouTube ...

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2016 , let's  fix the comments!

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But, they are all still here. They are all still SHIT !

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Here is what it looks like when I check the comments.

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It's like, "Oh! I uploaded a new video.

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Oh, I wonder what people say about it.

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'cause, I worked a lot on it and I wanna know what people think."

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These are the top comments on my last video.

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PewDeiPei: "Hello bros we have finally passed

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50 MMMMMM ... Family members!

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(package emoji)

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Now, I got a small SUPREEEIISE for you

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search pewds9280* on Google."

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What is this, fucking Beverly Hills?

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Oh and while we're at it, I don't mean to change topic

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but, can you guys shut the fuck up about my hair.

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Okay?

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I'm going through a rough period right now. Okay?

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This kind of things are not funny.

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This is clearly me. You know he has my avatar. He has my name.

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That is definitely my name!

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The spam is getting smarter.

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It's like that south park episode it's getting smarter

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I know. I know what you're thinking.

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What happens if you google

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"Pewds 9230"?

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"FOR SUBS, AWESOME GIVEAWAY!"

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Welcome to PewDiePie's giveaway

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Ainsley! Ainsley!

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Look at all that shit I'm giving away!

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Fuck no, I won't give that away.

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I am a fucking swedish ... swedish bastard.

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I'm not gonna give away shit. Fuck you!

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Holy shit! I'm giving away Kylie's lip kit!

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Ohhhhh!! There is only 368 left. GET IT NOW!

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I like how it says: "copyright Pewdiepie team 2016"

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Who the fuck is "Pewdiepie team 2016"?

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What is your gender?

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Did- ... did PewDeiPei just assumed my gender!!?

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((PewDiePie having a seizure))

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This is disgusting! You know, trick my fans all you want! But, assume their gender!?

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FUCK YOU! Gender is just a social construct!

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That is my core message! Everyone knows this!

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this is clearly fake Ainsley! I am starting to believe that ...

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That PewDeiPei is not actually me

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OH MY GOD!! What if PewDeiPei isn't me?

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Then, who am I!?

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Why are we still here ... just to suffer?

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If this is the comments, then every night I can feel my leg

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The second comment is Joanna- from ... Joanna Stannard

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Jjoanna Stannard? More like, Joanna NO Standard ... BITCH!

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Hey! If you gonna be a fake girl, at least be a fucking girl. Not some cartoon fucking image. Jesus Christ!

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And at least, if you're gonna pick a girl

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pick some fucking nice WAIFU. You know, like, something I can be, like: "oh shit! If that cartoon lady was a real person, I would definitely fuck her.

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So, basically my comments right now are just being used.

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Instead of me getting comments from you bros

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that you spend time, you talk to me and I wanna know what you are saying,

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but, instead of that, all I'm getting is the fucking top comments.

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Fucking spam. All three of them.

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"I got a little surprise for you."

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Oh! I said this before and I said two* three years ago

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Let me pick if I want people to use top comments or not.

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If could just turn off the top comments, this wouldn't happen.

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I can just read the comments as I say go. That's used to be the case.

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Here

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allow comments: newest first

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Oh, wait! So I can change it?

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This didn't used to be a thing.

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Before, you could ((in the past))

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this is the fucking thing with youtube like they have all these features that they change but they don't tell anyone

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so how the fuck i am supposed to know about it

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JESUS CHRIST !!

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every time is like : i made a random video and then youtube is like

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but we have all these features that you are bitching about

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oh shit it fucking works  WTF why didn't anyone tell me

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there is a point in this video witch very much  ties into what i am talking about right now

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but first let's review a couple things that i think you might find interesting

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so here is my comment section measuring thing

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so the is one million , one point three million ruffly comments held for review

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and then there is two hundred and forty thousand marked likely as spam

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Lo Derryyy wrote : Loved it . Youtube is like : SPAAAAAAAAMMMMM

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i loved this guy :  Joao Nsita . who was automatically been flaged as spam on youtube

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he says : want to know what a modern black man gets up to on his dates ? click here .

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you know , fuck you youtube how dare you mark Joao Nsita as spam !

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i would like to know what a black modern man gets up to on  his date

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and you know what ,  i will click here

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1 view huh !! , guess its only me

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Ainsleg ! you are a modern black man . why don't you tell

00:06:53.760 --> 00:07:00.420
 

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ok lets watch

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( some crappy shit )

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(pewdiepie laughing )

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look how hard is he trying in the comments , look he is everywhere

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youtube keep blocking him . this is not right ! its not right ! damn it

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these are not even bad comments

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like : why you and edgar sooo cute .( another comment ) : nice

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nice profile pic

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love your show

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you are so good at art

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like why are these being held , like most of these are not even spam

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i don't understand ! i don't understand

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there is also still these girls posting in the comments like

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like : hey subscribe to my channel and i will show you my tits

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i find one yesterday her name is JaleVFX

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and i think that is pretty cool , you know

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she is not just some random girl posting nudes on the internet

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she also had combined that with video effects

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I....what a great fucking idea

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she is not just being a random slut on the internet

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she is actually tacking her talent and her good looks

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actually if you gonna create a fake profile of a girl

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at least pick someone attractive girl

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or at least a photo that isn't like....like this !

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you know i wouldn't use this as my dating photo that JaleVFX , STF ! ok

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four thousand people fell for this fucking scam

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there is porn on the internet let't just not keep it on youtube

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four thousand people wanted to see JaleVFX naked

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ok well , let's click on her new nude

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oh how about that's an ad....gotta wait five seconds

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five

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three

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two

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one

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come on

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come on

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come on

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come on

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come on

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come , ahh ffuck ! god damn it !

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i really thought that would work

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this is what the comments is tacking up

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instead of reading what you bros write

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and that's something i truly care about

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youtube surely must understand it

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Ainsley is so upset , he fell over , JESUS CHRIST !

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after last video  i did

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i basically requested that youtube just have moderators

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cause i can delete my comments and i can clean them up

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but i don't really have time to go literally thousands of comments

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to make them better and you guys....

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I have seen you bros complain a lot over the comments

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that its not being good and field with spam

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but you can't help out

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but now you CAN !!

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it's time to change

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Youtube finally added moderators

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actually

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Ring..Ring...Ring...

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what is that ! Youtube

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( youtube saying ) : it's been there all along

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it's another on of those features that you didn't tell anyone about

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so i look like a whiny asshole again

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ok , i am...i am sorry

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ok , love you....love you too

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ok , bye....bbye

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MODERATORS

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do you wanna be a moderator for the pewdiepie channel !

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Ainsley is first rank moderator

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i am general

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Ainsley is general lieutenant

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you guys , if your a moderator

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you got the chance instead of being a petty officer

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do you wanna be lieutenant captain

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for the pewdiepie channel

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now is your chance

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comment down below : #Örlogskapten

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and explain to me why you wanna be a moderator

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basically we are just gonna get a military structure of the whole channel

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so that finally in 2017 we can in fact invade Norway

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i am getting tired of Norway's bullshit

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and i am starting to think that Youtube and Norway are the same thing

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so now lieutenant captain comment down below

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if want the great honor of being a moderator of this channel

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me the general will choose wisely based on a couple things

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1- great looks

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you need to be attractive

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2- I don't want some stupid ass fucking : I need to be a moderator

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because I have been a fan of pewdiepie for a very long time

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NO !! NONE OF THAT !!

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there is no way i can actually know , ok

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so I don't want your fucking likes

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just tell me something really really really really great about me

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3- what is Ainsley's real name ?

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if you can answer these three questions

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i will pick as a moderator as a lieutenant captain

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and we can finally #makeyoutubegreatagain

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actually 4- this needs to be your profile picture

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those are all the requirements

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is everything understood !!

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great !

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now go force my children

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and if you wanna shine like the sun

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you have to burn like it

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and we will burn these shity commenters

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we will clean the youtube comment section

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it will be pure than no other race

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i mean comment section

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this is getting weird isn't it !

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alright , that was this video

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hopefully it's the last one I ever get to do about comments

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cause it's getting old

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but anyway

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why are we still here ?

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click on another video

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just to suffer

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every night i can feel my Ainsley

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also since Ainsley is general i want you guys to know that

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that if you get a pewdiepie ranking

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we take very good care of our own

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very good care