WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Why are we still here?

00:00:14.900 --> 00:00:16.900
Just to suffer.

00:00:17.680 --> 00:00:26.070
Every night, I can feel my comments.

00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:30.000
And my subscribers

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And even my channel

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The comments I've lost

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It won't stop hurting.

00:00:48.300 --> 00:00:50.800
You feel it too don't you?

00:00:54.829 --> 00:01:00.000
I'm gonna make them get back our past.

00:01:01.500 --> 00:01:05.000
The comments on YouTube.

00:01:09.320 --> 00:01:16.460
I'm gonna bitch about the comments on YouTube once again.

00:01:16.460 --> 00:01:17.390
In 2014, I made the video but deleted the comments.

00:01:17.390 --> 00:01:21.500
look at that beautiful face

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nothing nothing has changed since that

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date

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look at look at him 2014 00 and then

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after meetings and meetings with you

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2016, let's fix the comments. But they're all

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still here they're all bullshit higher

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here's how it looks like when i checked

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the commons is like oh I uploaded a new

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video

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oh I wonder what people say about it

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because they have worked a lot on it and

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I want to know what people think these

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are the top comments on my life video

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cued a pay

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hello gross we have finally passed 15

00:02:04.459 --> 00:02:08.899
family members package emoji now I got a

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small debris for you search periods 9230

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on google but it's fucking Beverly Hills

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oh and while we're at it by the way I

00:02:17.780 --> 00:02:19.400
mean to change topic but can you guys

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shut the fuck up about my hair

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ok I'm going through a rough period

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right now we're okay this kind of tweet

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are not funny this is clearly you know

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it has my avatar that has my name that

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is definitely my name is getting smart

00:02:40.250 --> 00:02:42.859
it's like myself it's getting even

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smarter and I know I know what you're

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thinking what happens if you google pends 9320

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FORSUBS welcome to PewDiePie's give away Ainsley!

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AINSLEY LOOK AT ALL THAT SHIT I'M GIVING AWAY

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fuck now i wouldn't give it that way i'm

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a fucking Swedish bastard i'm not gonna

00:03:05.150 --> 00:03:06.980
give away shit fuck you

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HOLY shit i'm giving away Kylie lip kit

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*GASPS* there's always 368 left

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I like how it says copyright PewDiePie

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team 2016 What the fuck is

00:03:24.409 --> 00:03:25.529
PewDiePie Team 2016

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What is your gender

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Did PewDiePie just assume my gender

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*TRIGGERED*

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this is disgusting, you might trick my fans

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All you want, but assume their gender

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FUCK YOU gender is just a social construct

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That is my core message

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everyone knows that, this is clearly

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fake Ainsley, I'm starting to believe that

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*Checks spam bot name*

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PewDeiPei is not actually me!

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OH MY GOD

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What if PewDeiPei isn't me?

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Then who am I?

00:04:05.269 --> 00:04:07.849
Why are we still here just to suffer

00:04:07.849 --> 00:04:09.680
If this is the comments

00:04:11.220 --> 00:04:13.360
Then every night I can feel my leg (What)

00:04:13.370 --> 00:04:15.650
the second comment is Joanna from Joanna

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Stannard. Joanna Stannard? More like

00:04:19.099 --> 00:04:21.519
Joanna No Stannard (Pewds Pls) BITCH

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*ROASTED* *EXPLOSION*

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Hey, if you're gonna be a fake girl at least be a fucking

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girl and not some cartoon fucking image

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Jesus Christ and that AT LEAST if you're

00:04:30.139 --> 00:04:31.909
pick a girl pick some fucking nice Waifu

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You know like something i can be

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like oh shit well I'd you know if that

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was it that cartoon lady was a

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real person that would definitely you

00:04:40.729 --> 00:04:42.919
know fuck so basically my comments right

00:04:42.919 --> 00:04:47.479
now are just being used instead of uh me getting

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comments from your bros that you can't (British accent?)

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That you spend time you talk to me and I want

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to know what you're saying but instead

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of that all I'm getting is the fucking

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top comments fucking spam all three of

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them I got a little surprise for you UGH

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I've said this before and I said it two

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I said it three years ago let me pick if I

00:05:07.190 --> 00:05:08.960
want people to use top comments or not.

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If we could just turn off top comment

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this wouldn't happen i could just read

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the comment as they go

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that used to be the case

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*Looks at YouTube settings*

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Here

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Allow comments, newest first.

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Oh wait so I can change it?

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this didn't used to be a thing

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before you could this is a fucking thing

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with YouTube like they have all these

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features that they changed but they

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don't tell anyone how the fuck am I

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supposed to know about Jesus Christ

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every time is like I make this rant video

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and then YouTube is like: but we have all

00:05:46.470 --> 00:05:47.970
these features that you're bitching about

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Oh shit it fucking works

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what the fuck why did no one tell me?!

00:05:52.170 --> 00:05:54.870
there's a point to this video which very

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much ties into what I'm about, what I'm

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talking about right now but first let's

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review a couple things that I think you

00:06:01.230 --> 00:06:02.970
might find interesting

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so here's my comment section majigger

00:06:04.830 --> 00:06:08.760
thing so there's 1,000,000 1.3 million

00:06:08.760 --> 00:06:11.880
roughly comments held for review and then

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there's 240,000 marked likely as

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spam and Lo Derryyy wrote loved it

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youtube is like SPAAAMM *Laughs*

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I love this guy

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Joao Nsita he's been automatically

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flagged as spam on youtube he says

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want to know what a modern black man

00:06:32.040 --> 00:06:34.770
gets up to on his date click here

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You know fuck you YouTube. How dare you

00:06:38.430 --> 00:06:41.700
mark Joao Nsita as spam

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I happen to very much would like to

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know what a black modern black man gets

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up to on his date, and you know what I will click

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here one view huh

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guess it's only me Ainsley you're you're a

00:06:55.530 --> 00:07:00.810
modern black man why don't you tell ok

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let's watch

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oh yeah

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god I love me just be loaded on a better

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day to have a wonderful of me

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oh I just say

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*Subscribes*

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*Snorts*

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look how hard he tried to comment ok he's

00:07:18.510 --> 00:07:21.000
everywhere. YouTube keep blocking him

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it's not right it's not right

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damnnit

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These aren't even bad comments

00:07:26.040 --> 00:07:28.440
like why are you and edgar so cute

00:07:28.440 --> 00:07:32.670
nice, nice profile pic, love your show

00:07:32.670 --> 00:07:34.740
you're so good at art like why are these

00:07:34.740 --> 00:07:35.820
being held

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like most of these are not even spam

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I don't understandx2

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there's also still these girls posting

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in the comments like hey subscribe to my

00:07:45.360 --> 00:07:48.120
channel and I'll show you my titties

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I found one yesterday, her name is JaleVFX

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and I think that's pretty cool you know

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she's not just some random girl posting

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nude on the internet but she also had

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combined that with video effects

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I think, what a great fucking idea she's not

00:08:05.220 --> 00:08:07.590
just being a random slut on the internet

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she's actually taking her talent and

00:08:10.140 --> 00:08:11.130
good looks

00:08:11.130 --> 00:08:12.810
actually if you're going to create a

00:08:12.810 --> 00:08:15.000
fake profile around the girl at least

00:08:15.000 --> 00:08:17.520
pick somewhat attractive girl, or at least

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a photo that isn't like

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Like this

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You know, i don't i would use this is my

00:08:23.580 --> 00:08:26.610
dating photo that Jale AF via shut the

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fuck up ok 4,000 people fell for

00:08:28.950 --> 00:08:31.890
this fucking scam. There's porn on the internet

00:08:31.890 --> 00:08:33.610
let's not keep it on youTube

00:08:33.610 --> 00:08:36.890
4000 people wanted to see JaleVFX

00:08:36.890 --> 00:08:38.440
naked ok well let's click on

00:08:38.440 --> 00:08:40.329
her new nude

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oh how about that since that's an ad

00:08:42.430 --> 00:08:47.950
gotta wait five seconds 5321 come on

00:08:47.950 --> 00:08:49.029
come on

00:08:49.029 --> 00:08:53.500
come on come on come on come Ahh FUCK God

00:08:53.500 --> 00:08:56.200
dammit I really thought that would work

00:08:56.200 --> 00:08:57.970
this is what the comments is taking up

00:08:57.970 --> 00:09:00.459
instead of reading what you bros write

00:09:00.459 --> 00:09:01.720
and that's what's something I truly

00:09:01.720 --> 00:09:02.900
Care about

00:09:02.900 --> 00:09:04.720
Youtube surely must understand it

00:09:04.720 --> 00:09:06.519
Ainsley is so upset he fell over

00:09:06.519 --> 00:09:09.670
Jesus Christ after last rant video i did

00:09:09.670 --> 00:09:11.950
I basically requested that you could

00:09:11.950 --> 00:09:14.110
just have moderators because i can delete

00:09:14.110 --> 00:09:16.360
my comment and i can clean them up but i

00:09:16.360 --> 00:09:17.980
don't really have time to go through the

00:09:17.980 --> 00:09:20.170
literally thousands of comments to make them

00:09:20.170 --> 00:09:21.710
better and let you guys

00:09:21.710 --> 00:09:24.579
I've seen you bros complain a lot over the comments not being

00:09:24.579 --> 00:09:25.810
good and filled with spam but you

00:09:25.810 --> 00:09:29.440
can't help out but now you can it's

00:09:29.440 --> 00:09:30.910
time to change

00:09:30.910 --> 00:09:33.370
youtube finally added moderators

00:09:33.370 --> 00:09:35.850
actually Ring Ring, Ring Ring

00:09:35.860 --> 00:09:37.690
what's that youtube it's been there

00:09:37.690 --> 00:09:39.820
all along it's another one of those features

00:09:39.820 --> 00:09:41.960
that you didn't tell anyone about

00:09:44.400 --> 00:09:46.600
So I look like a whiny ass hole again

00:09:46.600 --> 00:09:51.699
ok I'm sorry okay love you love you too

00:09:51.699 --> 00:09:54.299
okay bye, bye-bye

00:09:54.299 --> 00:09:55.179
MODERATORS

00:09:55.560 --> 00:09:58.600
Do you want to be a moderator for the Poodiepie channel?

00:09:58.600 --> 00:10:02.080
Ainsley is first rank moderator

00:10:02.080 --> 00:10:03.310
I am, General

00:10:03.310 --> 00:10:05.850
Ainsley, is General Lieutenant

00:10:05.920 --> 00:10:08.260
you guys if you are moderator you

00:10:08.260 --> 00:10:09.970
got the chance instead of being a fan

00:10:09.970 --> 00:10:10.600
leak

00:10:10.600 --> 00:10:13.240
do you want to be a captain

00:10:13.240 --> 00:10:15.940
for the Poodiepie channel well now's your chance

00:10:16.820 --> 00:10:19.600
comments down below and

00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:21.190
explain to me why you want to be a

00:10:21.190 --> 00:10:23.470
moderator basically we're just going to

00:10:23.470 --> 00:10:25.779
get a militant structure

00:10:25.779 --> 00:10:29.290
of the whole channel so that finally in

00:10:29.290 --> 00:10:33.939
2017 we can in fact invaded Norway i am

00:10:33.939 --> 00:10:36.910
getting tired of Norway's bullshit and

00:10:36.910 --> 00:10:39.399
I'm starting to think that YouTube in

00:10:39.399 --> 00:10:43.389
Norway are the same thing so now captain

00:10:43.389 --> 00:10:45.610
comment down below if you want the

00:10:45.610 --> 00:10:48.490
great honor of being a moderator on this

00:10:48.490 --> 00:10:51.189
channel me the general will, uh

00:10:51.189 --> 00:10:55.300
choose wisely based on a couple things

00:10:55.300 --> 00:10:58.899
number one great look you need to be

00:10:58.899 --> 00:11:00.970
attractive number two I don't want to

00:11:00.970 --> 00:11:04.300
moldy ass fucking who I need to be

00:11:04.300 --> 00:11:06.399
moderator because I have been a fan

00:11:06.399 --> 00:11:09.639
of Poodiepie for a very long time no no

00:11:09.639 --> 00:11:11.499
none of that. there's no way i can actually know

00:11:11.499 --> 00:11:14.230
okay? So i don't want your fucking lie just

00:11:14.230 --> 00:11:16.059
tell me something really really really

00:11:16.059 --> 00:11:18.790
really great about me

00:11:18.790 --> 00:11:22.749
number three what is Ainsley's real name

00:11:22.749 --> 00:11:25.980
if you can answer these three questions

00:11:25.980 --> 00:11:30.020
i will pick you as a moderator, as a captain

00:11:31.200 --> 00:11:32.139
And we can finally,

00:11:32.139 --> 00:11:36.129
#MakeYouTubeGreatAgain

00:11:36.129 --> 00:11:38.500
Actually number four this needs to be your

00:11:38.500 --> 00:11:39.879
profile picture

00:11:39.879 --> 00:11:41.050
those are all the requirements

00:11:42.260 --> 00:11:45.420
Is everything understood? Great, now go forth

00:11:45.430 --> 00:11:47.079
my children and if you want to shine

00:11:47.079 --> 00:11:49.389
like the Sun you have to burn like it

00:11:49.389 --> 00:11:51.250
and we will burn

00:11:51.250 --> 00:11:54.370
these shitty commentary (just like yours felix) we will cleanse the

00:11:54.370 --> 00:11:56.290
YouTube comments section it will be

00:11:56.290 --> 00:11:59.500
purer than no other race I mean comments

00:11:59.500 --> 00:12:00.820
section

00:12:06.780 --> 00:12:08.560
This is getting weird. isn't it?

00:12:08.560 --> 00:12:10.090
alright well that was this video

00:12:10.090 --> 00:12:12.910
hopefully it's the last one I'll ever get to

00:12:12.910 --> 00:12:16.720
do about comments because it's getting old

00:12:16.720 --> 00:12:20.980
but anyway why are we still here click

00:12:20.980 --> 00:12:25.210
on another video just to suffer every

00:12:25.210 --> 00:12:29.310
night, I can feel like Ainsley

00:12:30.840 --> 00:12:31.900
Also, since

00:12:31.900 --> 00:12:34.240
Ainsley is general, i want you guys to know that

00:12:34.240 --> 00:12:36.760
if you get a PewDiePie rank,

00:12:36.760 --> 00:12:42.100
we take very good care of our own very

00:12:42.100 --> 00:12:43.960
(Pewds what are you doing)

00:12:43.960 --> 00:12:49.560
Very good care ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )