I don't need you anymore....
AGH
Hey hows it going BRAS?
What the ffuuck is good
what the ffffFUCK (that voice crack) is good
*Shoot himself*
*finally kills himself*
Welcome back to Resident Evil
We're getting there
That's right, we're getting there boys...
And girls
I don't wanna discriminate my female audience
Now
Apparently ...
Ahh you know what, fuck it let's just go
Okay what do we got here?
Uhh.. we need the crank, for fucks sake
So.. i read the comments.. and..uh..
appreciate the spoilers by the way that's very nice
There we go..
apparently there's gonna be a choice soon..
between.. uhm..
if i should choose Mia or Zoe
Uh... I would pick Zoe, y'know
100%
Cuz Mia she's just a crazy fucking bitch
Like I would not stick my dick in that (*-*)
She's... she lost it, alright
What kind of weird disease would you get
I don't know
Is that weird for me to comment about these things?
I think it is a little weird (O_o)*Maybe*
Im just being painfully uh.. uh honest okay
Zoe however..
y'know
We haven't seen her be fucking weird and shit
actually she, ah for fuck's sake another one of these? .-.
where do I go then?
there better not be any fucking crocodiles and shi-
there's another bridge here, okay
it's a puzzle, ain't it?
INNIT (ಠ⌣ಠ)
I can't stop saying innit it now
because of that fucking video I did with Ken
Here we go
We're gonna have a gun fucking ready
You never know what's gonna pop up in this game
Got my one ammo gun.
AYE!!!!!
(Laughs crazily)
BOX! (ಠ⌣ಠ)
Hell yes!
Speaking of low on ammo
We can change ammo
And now we have a lot more-
(gasps)
BOX! (ಠ⌣ಠ)
Hell yeah motherfucka!
Alright doing pretty well so far.
What do you think?
You know I can't hear you if you don't fucking speak
Jesus Christ
(Laughs excitedly)
Ah shit!
BOX! (ಥ⌣ಥ)
Atleast they don't fucking explode this time.
I need this fucking crank all the time.
It making me cranky.
And there we go everybody
Top of da mornin' to ya
AH! Helvete!
I hate these fuckers!
JACKsepticeye
Got'em
Oh god he's not dead.
There ya go.
Nice little spazzy you did there.
Fuck
No more of these fuckers I swear to god.
Okay, great, alright, alright I just-
Take your time pewds you've got plenty of time
Oh god
Uh, running low on time
Don't panic.
Don't- I'm panicking a little bit
Jesus Christ, everyone calm down
everyone calm down
What, I blocked?
What the fuck?
Fuuck
Guys go gentle on me it's my first time.
Shotgun really fucking takes care of those assholes, don't they?
Oh god he's still alive-he's still alive
AH!!
Helvete!
AAHH!!
GOT'EM!
Great, that went great didn't it? That went so great.
Let's never do that again.
Ever.
Fucking ever.
How's my ammo?
Got plenty of ammo, got so much ammo
Oh fuck I hear another one
FUCK
I've run out of ammo like a motherfucker
I'm just gonna run for it, this is bullshit
let me through, let me through, lemme through, thank you
Bitches, you ain't worth it
Alright?
Plus I have no ammo, so I have to--
AAHHH!!!!
FUCK!
NO, don't die now
Are you fucking kidding me?
hey how you doing?
How you doing?
That's great.
Close that fucking door.
Thank you, jesus fucking christ
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
Minecraft is a- (inaudible)
Oh my god.
Save sta-sta
Dee dee dee dee dee *Mental breakdown*
Not sure if I was supposed to run there, but we did it
That was pretty fucking stressful, jesus.
Ge- ge- jack-
Aye! look at that
Thank you game for finally giving me fucking shit!
Can't make anything. Great.
Well I have solid fuel I know I have it.
BAOOX!! ಠ_ರೃ
The shotgun is the fucking best in this game
I swear to god
Do we have everything we need?
And, here we go.
How's everyone doin'?
Top of da moasrs *Nice english*
New area.
Oh my god!
It's the girls!
How ya doin' ladies?
Zoe! Are you okay?
You look like you're about to shit yourself girl
I mean Mia, how ya doin?
heh, heh, heh
okay, don't do any crazy shit.
I'm tired of you doing crazy shit, alright?
It's fucking annoying.
Don't make me regret this, Mia.
Momma Mia, pizzeria. Am I right?
Go-
YES!
Wait, is that not mine?
Can I not grab that?
Aw, come on man.
Alright what do you-
And give me the--do this and do that. Jesus christ
How bout' a "hey, thanks for saving my life out there."
Going through demons and shit.
How bout' that?
"Gimi thi sirim simpli" Fucking bitch...
Alright we got that.
And then we got that, alright.
There ya go.
I don't think we have the rest.
Do we have to go back all the way?
Naaah
That'd be annoying.
Huh- Give me the serum ingredients
There you go, have fun with this
Alright, I wanna see how you make this.
What the fuck are you doing down there?
(Laughs)
Yeah...
The fuck did you just do?
You fucking weird little drug girl, okay?
You know what?
One of those is mine
Oh, Whoah!
Whoah, whoah what the-
Uh
The legend of Zelda called they want their boss back, what the fuck?
What the fuck are we in the cocora tree? What the hell is this?
What the f-
What the fuck is this
Well that went pretty good, didn't it?
That went pretty great
Okay, we got one.
I guess we got to get all of them.
Fucks Sake
(Pewds runs out of things to say, Helvete maybe)
Got em'
GOT EM'
Come on. show me your eye.
Got em'
Ah shit, he follows me.
So you got to shoot the pulsing eyes.
Nice. You hold still.
Uh... There was a box up here, I swear. I saw a box.
Are you dead yet!?
Oh, there's a box.
Ah fuck.
There's the eye, isn't it.
Come on, show me your ball.
I appreciate the invite, but I'm not interested.
I'm really not.
It's cool. Hey! Hey!
Ah, ugh... Fuck you man.
BOX!
There we go.
Now where were we?
I need to shoot like... Oh god.
Got em'
I think he had just one left.
I don't know where it is though.
Where the fuck is his eye?
Ah jeez. ah, this is bad.
I'm not scared. *Nervously laughs*
You look so sexy.
I've done this before when I was fourteen alright.
I think I know how to beat this boss.
No!
Stop moving so fucking much!
No fucking way I'm out of ammo right now. Shit.
YES!
Got em'!
Is there anymore eyes!?
Enough with the fucking eyes!
Oh, there is one isn't it.
Nope. Alright. I'm going to get out of here. Because I don't like him.
*Monster Cries*
Ah, fuck.
Ah, this is bad. ah blip.
Uh... don't mind me.
Okay, great.
Good for you.
Good for you buddy.
Show me that pretty eye again.
Okay, that's great.
Please be dead.
I'm really low on ammo. It would be great if you died now.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
Hey. We did it.
Get it. Because of the eyes.
Hilarious.
I haven't been to Japan though.
Hey, it's Zoe.
*M Night Shyamalan plot twist*
Are you kidding me.
Are you fucking kidding me!?
How are you not dead?
No, I'm not wasting it.
That's real nice.
Ha Hey.
Oh no, now we only have one serum.
Yes
Umm, this is going to be awkward. So, you're right, now we only have one.
Fuck
Also, ah damn, there was a box and.
Yeaaaahhh! Aha.
Yeah. Ahaha. BOX! *Fails miserably*
*Fails miserably* X2
BOX!
*Sad whimper*
BOX!
Alright, I almost missed a bunch of boxes.
(It's expected of you at this point Pewds)
Good one.
That was fun, I liked that boss fight.
Hey. A boat and everything. How are you all doing?
Alright.
I mean.You... You literally just said.
So. Uh now I choose between Zoe and uh Mia.
I assume that.
Uh, you know. Who's hotter?
Okay, uh.
eenie
Meenie
Miney
Moe
Catch a...
Oh god, Edgar just farted.
Okay, I'll go with Mia.
I don't. I mean. I don't...
Alright.
*Nonchalantly* Okay.
Bon Voyage.
*Voice crack* Alright.
Well, you know. I'll send you a post card then. How about that.
Post card?
How's that?
Great.
Hey Mia, you want a sweater? You cold.
Guess what. Don't care.
Got em'
I think most of the comments were like. You should pick Mia, so I was like, alright fine.
I probably would have picked Mia. I mean, we came for her anyway.
Like that was the reason we went.
Like, we don't know much about Zoe at all.
Like, it wouldn't really make much sense to pick Zoe.
I think it's more of a choice you kinda go with.
Uh, if you replay the game or some shit like that.
I don't know.
Oh god, you look so creepy.*cold sweat*
Girls. You say one wrong thing and it's like... Nope.
Oh god.
Oh god, what the fuck is that?
(Obviously an airplane)
Ah jeez, I hate abandoned boats.
They're fucking terrifying.
Ah god no.
*crash sfx*
No.
NOO!
Ah... Fuck.
God. Fucking. Dammit.
God. Dammit.
Cthulhu. That's what turned everyone.
Ah Jeez. What's this?
Playing a memory now aren't I?
No. I'm on dry land.
We're playing as Mia.
Thanks for the reflection there so we know.
I didn't just suddenly reverse puberty.
That's good.
Alright, back to the basics.
Games like to do this.
They build you up, and then knock you down.
Right before the finale.
Motherfuckers.
Everytime.
Pretty cool area.
That's uh...
Is that me?
Is that how I look like?
Damn Ethan, you don't look too good.
Well. The Demon has Ethan now.
Nothing we can do about it.
It would be funny if we went through all this shit.
To save this girl right.
And then as soon as anything happens to us.
It's like. Ah well...
I guess I suppose I gotta go. I mean, I've been here three years.
That's a long time.
*Pewds imitates Mia's grunting noise*
Well, we're going in the boat.
Just what I wanted. Just what I wanted.
Trust me.
This is exactly what I want with my life.
Going inside abandoned creepy ass boats.
That's just the best isn't it?
Oh god, It's even worse on the inside than I thought.
*Eerie sfx*
Oh my god. Uck.
Oh my god.
Ech.
Disgusting.
I wonder if the boat has anything to do with like what happened to the family.
That would make sense.
Maybe the dad found like..
Some weird Russian experiments.
*another eerie sfx and a flashback*
What?
*Professionally* Sorry, my ass is itchy.
Okay.
It was a memory Mia.
It was a memory.
Ope.
I like how there's a flashlight in my eyes.
(You should get that checked)
Love when that happens.
K, I guess we go up.
Up, up, up, to the top...
I'm just trying to fucking see.
Oh my god, not moist monsters.
Faak
This is the moistiest game I have ever played.*not even wet game compare?*
What do you think?
(Interesting word choice)
Name one moistier game than this one.
Moistier is not a word?
(Well, uh, technically nah.)
I think it is after you've played this game
Hello
What have we got? Give me something. A gun. Anything.
Fuck.
*another flashback sfx*
Whoa
(crazy-shit girl)
Oh.
Okay.
I was like, where should I go? And the game was like, you're welcome.
Wow, what a great way to go.
Creepy corridors
People like to get in your face. And you're like. Hey, what up.
It's your boy.
ETHAN BRADBERRY
*In the distance* "Slammmminnn!"
Anything here? Nope.
Anything here?
Yes.
Anything down?
Down we go.
Yuck
Yuck, yuck, yuck. Oh god, it's saving.
Autosave always means bad news in video games.
At least horror games.
Could there be guns here?
Oh my god! Dude!
You fucking little weirdo.
He must have been hiding from something.
Great.
Something pleasant I'm sure.
This one... That's not how you take a shit, but you were pretty close.
Pretty close buddy.
Don't do that again.
Okay, we're fine.
Hey, a shower would be nice.
Shouldn't you be looking for Ethan?
She's inside me.
Well, I guess that's what happens when you fuck people.*shouldnt it be the other way around*
This way please.
*wind sfx*
Oh. Wow. Okay.
Wasn't expecting this.
Fucking hell.
Okay.
Can we go anywhere from here?
Okay, we can.
Hey look.
It's Annabelle.
Typical boat name.
That looks like us.
Doesn't it.
It does look like us.
Okay, well that makes me feel a little safer.
Like, I don't know... what's wrong with girls?
Little tiny girls. They are so creepy and weird.
Like, we should all just send them off.
You know, somewhere.
So they can't hurt anyone.
I don't like it.
I don't like em' alright.
I'm going to be honest. I don't like them.
Creepy and weird.
Ah jeez
This place looks cool though.
*creepy-ass moist sound*
Can you guys shut the fuck up.
Oh god. It's all. Not...
My new shoes.
Dammit.
How do I get out?
Oh. there we go.
Fucking making me walk through this god damn maze.
Hey, there you are.
Yeah, I know. Well, I fucking lied alright.
Those are not even guchi boots.
I'll go this way.
Apparently, there's a lot...
Ah jeez.
Hey, it's a box everybody.
Can't break it though.
Could there be guns in here perhaps.
Hey, it's a herb everybody.
It's been preserved so well.
Everything else is rotten. but.
You know it's some good. Good. Oh god.
What is happening over there?
I do not... Oh fuck.
I need to find a gun fast.
Shit.
I don't have a fucking gun.
Fuck off honestly.
Hey look it's me. Oh wait, it's just trash.
Dammit.
Oh. What the fuck!?
Oh my god.
What the hell man. I don't have a fucking gun.
Like honestly fuck off.
Can I hide at least.
What the hell.
I mean. They wouldn't put a box here unless they gave me a knife or some shit.
For fucks sake.
That thing just patrols?
I guess we need a... Ah fuck.
This is really bad.
What about in here?
Maybe there's a gun here.
Nope, just demons.
Just demons everyone. No big deal.
I don't like this.
You know?
Motherfucker!
CLOSE! (I think)
Oh ho ho ha my god.
Oh thank god, a save.
Ah Jesus Christ.
Thank god for doors.
Man. Thank fucking God for doors.
*Grunt*
*High pitched whisper* Save Station.
*High pitched whisper* Gotta love my save...
Oh hey buddy.
There it is!
That's what I want.
What do we want!
A gun with two ammos!
Fuck. Two ammo.
Fucking two ammo shots.
That's all we get.
You only get one shot. Do not miss the chance.
Where'd he go?
Oh helveta (Hell)
(Something Fan) Devil
Okay, well I blew it.
I blew it.
I admit I blew it.
That's fine.
That's fine
It's fine.
Uh, as long as you run.
Nothing bad will ever happen.
Oh my god.
Alright that's fine.
Let's just go in here and see what happens.
Alright the door is closed.
You're not.
OW! Helveta (Hell) you fucking asshole.
Oh! Javlar(Devils) Oh okay, well that's fine.
Okay.
That's fine.
You know what. It's fine.
I feel great.
You're not welcome in here motherfucker.
That's right moist monsters.
Hey, there's a fuse. Alright, I'll take it.
Uh... Thank you sir.
Would you mind if I uh...
lick your titties?
Okay, I won't do that then.
Alright. Hey uh. How you doing?
Okay, you're in there too. That's great.
Dude, it's like a whole family party in here.
I didn't know.
I didn't know. I didn't know man.
You know, I'm going to go in here and cry a little bit.
Ah. You're not invited!
What did I say?
Yeah, you stay in there and think about what you've done.
Alright, now just let me put this fucking thing in here.
And I'm the fuck out of here.
Alright, I'm going to get the fuck out.
*Rising scream*
*Sigh* We did it.
*Laughs*
That was stressful.
My god.
Okay, well we have...
Pretty much nothing.
Going for us right now.
I think we can make a health pack.
That's good.
Sounds like a...
demon is in there. so I'm not going there right now.
Should we open just this...?
It's locked anyway.
*Sigh*
I feel so defenseless.
Fucking sexism man.
Just cause I'm playing as a girl doesn't mean...
Top of the mornin' to ya
Alright.
Ah jeez.
Oh there's a TV in here.
How is the electricity running in this fucking place?
You know what. I shouldn't...
*Gets scared* You fucking asshole!
Listen. I'm not going to watch Grown Ups 2 with you.
It's a shit movie.
I don't care how much you love it.
Fine.
Alright fine.
Get it over with.
This truly is a horror game.
Making me watch Adam Sandler movies.
God dammit.
Is this another one of those where I have to play.
I have to play the cutscene or whatever.
I don't like that.
It scares me alright.
I wanna be... I wanna feel safe,
*Pewds imitates viewer* But, it's a horror game Pewds.
I know.
I know
God dammit.
Who the fuck are you?
Hey, he has the same apple watch.
So that's the bottle we were carrying.
Hey. a box.
Whoa!
P90?
Ninety?
A knife.
Dude, I'm a fucking...
I'm a boss.
I drink sauce.
You drink sauce?
Alright.
You hang tight buddy.
You hang tight.
Ima shoot some fucking little girls.
Where the fuck...
We have a lot of ammo.
I don't like that.
It's cozy now though. I like it.
Target acquired.
The numbers display... Okay
Oh fuck. It's locked from there.
Hey, we got some supplements.
Oh, here we go.
Okay.
She's vomiting!?
Well, she needs to stop doing that.
Not right now Alan.
So the moist is her vomit.
What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh. So I get it. This is just her vomit.
It's not actually her.
My bad.
There they are.
*clumsy shooting sound*
Not so close please.
Thank you.
Man, that's some ugly ass vomit.
Man.
Oh my god, I gotta sneeze.
*Cow noise*
Shit.
Hey look, it's her.
Can you stop vomiting?
God.
Ah dammit.
She leave anything here?
We could just take the stairs.
Hey.
Drugs.
My favorite. There's the stairs.
I want to keep looting a lil bit.
Is this video sponsored by apple watch or some shit?
Like
Wait.
Where's the stairs.
Is this not it?
Oh ok.
Elevate...
Oh god.
What is that?
Oh Jeez.
Dude.
That's cool. I was going down anyway.
*Laughs*
Oh. I love that shit.
Everything is awesome.
Everything is cool when you're part of the brrt.
I'm not a big fan of this place.
I'm not gonna lie.
There's vomit everywhere.
Ayy. It's you.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
There's bound to be more where that came from.
I don't know if the television...
Ah god dammit.
Oh, this is a big one.
Block that bitch.
Got em'!
I feel strong motherfucker.
Oh god.
What's happening?
Can't kill me.
That's right motherfucker.
Hey.
Remote bomb?
What the fuck is that?
A bomb that can be detonated by remote control
Press square to detonate it.
What.
That's awesome.
Let's use it.
That's one, I want to use it on two of them.
How are you going to get down here boy?
How's you plan... Oh shit, the stairs.
Got em'
Moist monsters.
Ba bu bum bu duh (Transformers in disguise jingle)
How you doing buddy?
London.
Get on it.
Okay.
Fuck. I feel like I'm wa... It's so linear this part.
It's fucking annoying.
Alright great. She's nearby.
Alan. I'm busy.
Melt.
You gotta a blow torch and a Furby?
Let's go crazy man.
BOX!
What do we got?
Jumpscare in 3
2
1
Nevermind
Oh, how about that.
What is this?
Corrosives?
Thanks game.
So is my ass if you know wha...
I'm sorry. Okay, uh...
Nice.
I guess we can open the other doors now if we feel like going back.
Because we have three of them, but...
Oh. She's our daughter?
Oh.
Yeah.
And stop vomiting.
It's fucking annoying.
Where is she?
Oh, there she is.
Don't Don't...
Motherfucker.
Ah Jeez.
Yes.
Good talk.
Ah perfect.
Ah come on. Ah come on man.
Alright.
Why not?
Alright. It's time to go boom.
Ah. For fucks sake, it just crippled him.
Ah. Just let me past.
Thank you.
Ain't nobody got time for you guys.
What a waste.
What a waste of a beautiful bomb.
Alright. Which way?
Alright. Let's go in here.
I don't know. Trying to stay fucking calm right now.
All this shit going down.
We got herbs. We got guns.
More bombs. Hell yeah.
And more corrosives.
Perfect.
Excellent.
More shit? I'll take it.
Take all the shit I can get.
Guess I got to shoot you.
Thank you.
Good to see you, buddy.
I'm going to skip you.
Not this shit again.
Ah Jeez, this is awkward.
Listen.
Ah what the fuck. I couldn't block.
Oh Jeez. this is bad.
Got em'
*Laughs*
Fuck, fuck, fuck, go, go, go.
*High pitched* Bye!
Yeah!
Fucking PewDiePie
Alright. Ah shi...
Italian: Vaffanculo (Fuck Off)
Excellent. Just what I needed.
God dammit. I'm playing a memory right?
I forgot I did that.
Uh... Which way?
Doesn't tell me.
This is where Alan was right?
Oh, for fucks sake. Where'd he go?
Thanks Alan.
Why are we the only ones left on this fucking ship?
We already looted everything here.
There should be a door. Yeah, yeah. I remember.
Alright here we go.
Beautiful.
I want these.
Hey bombs.
I'll take them.
Oh Jeez.
Whoa ho ho ho. That's awesome.
Fuck yeah.
Alright, here's another one.
Didn't I unlock it?
Oh, fucks sake, I thought it was a door.
Okay, I guess... Maybe we can go here now.
Nope.
Okay, not cool man.
He Hey, look at that.
No! Another one spawned? For fucks sake.
God dammit.
I thought I was going to blow up the door.
What a fucking waste.
Fuck, I don't know where to go.
Oh my god. There's a fucking thing here.
Uh, it took me forever. Come on.
Hey.
Back at it again.
(Don't you dare say it. I will not subtitle it.)
Alright, wheres the stairs.
Where's the god damn stairs.
There they are. That should have been... should have been obvious.
Hey everyone.
(Hey)
Let's just go straight at it. Don't we.
Why don't we. Why shall we.
(Woo Hoo. I hit the 40 minute mark. 5 hours in the making)
Getting tired of this game Mia.
Target acquired motherfucker.
Gonna spray you.
That's probably a bad idea.
We have anything in here?
I don't want to keep looking for stuff right now.
Just go for it.
Hey, it's Alan.
Bye. Oh shit.
Yeah, how'd you get here?
God damn your face is ugly.
*Pewds laughs sadistically*
Ah Jeez
Ew, ew, ew
Don't touch me.
EWwww
Careful who you call a bitch in highschool.
Oh my god.
It reminds me of FEAR so much. That whole video game.
Alright we did it.
No we didn't. No. We're dead. We're dead.
We're fucking dead.
Ew
Ah. For fucks sake. Goddammit. Ugh.
It's everywhere now.
Ah, still got my gun.
Hell yeah motherfucker.
Alright Mia.
Or whatever your name is. Eveline.
Getting real tired of this shit.
We're watching a movie inside a movie. Yeah, why not.
You going to press play or what?
What are you doing?
It' me.
We're recording it now.
Yeah?
Oh shit.
And let's just tweet that out.
Like, who the fuck is Ethan in this equation? Just a boyfriend.
Just random boyfriend?
Who picked the wrong girlfriend?
Ah Jeez.
Oh my god.
Alright, I get it. You don't...
This is so like FEAR.
Like straight up.
Oh my god.
Whoa!
Whoa ho ho ho
Oh my god!
Jesus Christ!
Oh no.
That's bad. That's real.That's bad everyone. That's a bad.
Oh look, we left our body.
We'll be together forever.
God damn, I hate little girls. They're the worst.
The worst.
Ech
Ugh.
Disgusting!
I think it's time we end that episode there.
It's going to be the last episode next one.
So eeh I'll see you tomorrow.
With a final episode.
What's going to happen?
I don't know.
But, it's pretty good.
I hope you enjoyed this episode. Leave a like if you did.
And as always, thank you so much for watching.
Stay awesome bros.
Ah Jeez, sorry.
I guess there was a little more.
Jesus!
What a fuckin bi...