WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en-GB 00:00:00.030 --> 00:00:03.540 Ohh shit! I'm out in the slums again guys 00:00:03.540 --> 00:00:07.859 God dammit, at least I have my fidget finger 00:00:07.859 --> 00:00:11.309 Fuck you Buzzfeed. Fuck You. 00:00:11.309 --> 00:00:13.799 I quit my job at BuzzFeed by the way, 00:00:13.799 --> 00:00:14.969 Did not get fired 00:00:14.969 --> 00:00:17.430 I quit. Me and Dave were supposed to 00:00:17.430 --> 00:00:18.720 quit together, but that motherfucker 00:00:18.720 --> 00:00:20.130 pussied out on me 00:00:20.130 --> 00:00:23.680 god dammit Dave! Well, at least I have my 00:00:23.700 --> 00:00:28.220 underwater rats, at least I have those 00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:32.880 Hello darkness my old fr- Anyway, I'm gonna have 00:00:32.880 --> 00:00:35.320 to find a new job guys. Luckily there's a wide 00:00:35.320 --> 00:00:36.820 market out there, I don't need you Buzzfeed 00:00:36.820 --> 00:00:38.470 They didn't even use my correct 00:00:38.470 --> 00:00:41.350 pro--pronoun anonymous dragon skater 1969 00:00:41.350 --> 00:00:44.950 X X X Y X X X. You know what, I bet they 00:00:44.950 --> 00:00:48.910 fired me because I was white. [AIR HORN BLAZES] There's one 00:00:48.910 --> 00:00:50.290 company I always wanted to work at 00:00:50.290 --> 00:00:51.280 Nintendo 00:00:51.280 --> 00:00:52.930 Let's see what it's like to work at 00:00:52.930 --> 00:01:02.640 Nintendo everyone. [8-bit music plays] - You work hard! 00:01:02.760 --> 00:01:04.840 - I do. I do. - You do a good job, you're nice to your 00:01:04.840 --> 00:01:07.360 customers.. - err yes - Why then must you suffer the 00:01:07.360 --> 00:01:10.180 headache of returns? THOSE FUCKING 00:01:10.180 --> 00:01:12.790 RETURNS! I SWEAR TO GOD IF DAVE RETURNS 00:01:12.790 --> 00:01:16.210 DR. MARIO AGAIN.. I thought it was the 00:01:16.210 --> 00:01:17.979 real Super Mario and I got this Tetris 00:01:17.979 --> 00:01:20.350 piece of shit game. God dammit it.. that 00:01:20.350 --> 00:01:21.759 actually happened to me, my dad bought me 00:01:21.759 --> 00:01:23.619 Dr. Mario but I didn't have the heart to 00:01:23.619 --> 00:01:24.940 tell him that he bought the wrong 00:01:24.940 --> 00:01:27.640 Super Mario. Dad I'm sorry you bought 00:01:27.640 --> 00:01:30.160 Dr. Mario, you didn't buy Super Mario but 00:01:30.160 --> 00:01:32.200 in retrospect I actually enjoyed Dr. 00:01:32.200 --> 00:01:33.850 Mario a lot more, even though in the 00:01:33.850 --> 00:01:35.289 beginning I pretended that I liked 00:01:35.289 --> 00:01:37.450 playing Dr. Mario. Just because it was 00:01:37.450 --> 00:01:39.729 such a nice gift that you gave me, even 00:01:39.729 --> 00:01:41.350 though probably mom forced you to buy it for me... 00:01:41.350 --> 00:01:43.720 Exsqueeze me, I'd like to return dis 00:01:43.720 --> 00:01:45.759 Mega Drive, uh, who do I talk to about that? 00:01:45.759 --> 00:01:47.140 Tell you what, you need to fuck off and 00:01:47.140 --> 00:01:48.880 go to the electronics area 00:01:48.880 --> 00:01:51.280 and they'd be happy to help you. - Uh gosh.. - Tell you why you 00:01:51.280 --> 00:01:54.490 need to return this? Just go to go to the 00:01:54.490 --> 00:01:56.800 guy in the back. He'll help you. I love 00:01:56.800 --> 00:01:58.720 how they make it, they openly admit that 00:01:58.720 --> 00:02:00.880 they're making it as hard as possible to 00:02:00.880 --> 00:02:03.100 return your fucking game. - Hi there, please go away. 00:02:03.100 --> 00:02:04.479 'Customer service' 00:02:04.479 --> 00:02:06.910 sent me over to talk to you.. 00:02:06.910 --> 00:02:09.670 And give this to you, if you take a look.. What the fuck 00:02:09.670 --> 00:02:11.860 did he do with that Nintendo. Go 00:02:11.860 --> 00:02:14.800 through the apocalypse? Jesus Christ man *He shit on it* 00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:16.090 As a matter of fact, it was 00:02:16.090 --> 00:02:17.920 working and now it's not working and so 00:02:17.920 --> 00:02:19.420 I'd appreciate if you know take a 00:02:19.420 --> 00:02:21.040 look at it. I like to get an exchange for 00:02:21.040 --> 00:02:24.040 it. - Exchange? Well do you have.. 00:02:24.040 --> 00:02:26.170 well I better take a look at it. right 00:02:26.170 --> 00:02:28.630 thank you, Do you 00:02:28.630 --> 00:02:30.790 know what's on here? No no I mean the 00:02:30.790 --> 00:02:32.020 kids couldn't have done anything. I mean 00:02:32.020 --> 00:02:34.510 they're good kids. Sometimes they'll put a 00:02:34.510 --> 00:02:36.130 drink or something on there. - Who puts a 00:02:36.130 --> 00:02:38.260 soft drink in their Nintendo? You best be 00:02:38.260 --> 00:02:40.840 crazy dog. No no no it's not a soda pop 00:02:40.840 --> 00:02:43.819 don't know. It's not soda pop 00:02:43.819 --> 00:02:45.620 I'm glad we got that out of the way. IT'S NOT 00:02:45.620 --> 00:02:51.200 SODA POP GUYS. - It was fine 00:02:51.200 --> 00:02:53.180 I'd appreciate if I had an exchange on it 00:02:53.180 --> 00:02:55.310 That's cum! That's cum 00:02:55.310 --> 00:02:57.170 on Nintendo. What kind of games did you 00:02:57.170 --> 00:02:58.549 play back there? Are they playing 00:02:58.549 --> 00:03:00.859 Custer's revenge, the kids? Jesus Christ 00:03:00.859 --> 00:03:02.780 And how about the customer who tries to 00:03:02.780 --> 00:03:04.400 bully you into taking back something you 00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:07.220 know isn't broken. These guys are a real 00:03:07.220 --> 00:03:07.970 problem 00:03:07.970 --> 00:03:10.129 You people amaze me, you really amaze me 00:03:10.129 --> 00:03:11.389 Your quality control people, they just 00:03:11.389 --> 00:03:13.310 have bats in the belfry. About this game, 00:03:13.310 --> 00:03:14.629 yesterday took it home. Nothing, 00:03:14.629 --> 00:03:16.909 absolutely nothing, no picture. I'm pretty 00:03:16.909 --> 00:03:18.349 sure it's the EEPROM So if you just want 00:03:18.349 --> 00:03:19.879 to take a look at that, I'd fix it myself 00:03:19.879 --> 00:03:21.379 but I don't really have the tools *no shit* so 00:03:21.379 --> 00:03:23.569 I'll take my money back. I'm sorry you 00:03:23.569 --> 00:03:29.329 had a problem, got the music. Aha. Here 00:03:29.329 --> 00:03:31.000 we go. I think this is probably the problem, 00:03:31.000 --> 00:03:33.919 yeah just needed to turn up the contrast 00:03:33.919 --> 00:03:34.370 of it. 00:03:34.370 --> 00:03:37.189 - how's that look? -oh WOW THAT LOOKS 00:03:37.189 --> 00:03:39.010 AMAAAAZING!! 00:03:39.010 --> 00:03:42.889 Whoa!! He just needed to turn up the 00:03:42.889 --> 00:03:45.650 contrast a bit. What a fucking moron. 00:03:45.650 --> 00:03:47.659 He didn't know the old contrast bit. - Of 00:03:47.659 --> 00:03:48.979 course the contrast I think that was 00:03:48.979 --> 00:03:51.979 probably my kid *he has no kids*.. didn't. I'll take 00:03:51.979 --> 00:03:54.229 it! - The controller doesn't work. Oh! 00:03:54.229 --> 00:03:56.269 - There's a picture but there's no 00:03:56.269 --> 00:03:59.299 action. Possibly I didn't read the 00:03:59.299 --> 00:04:03.040 instructions right, I'll just take a look here 00:04:03.040 --> 00:04:05.760 see how it works.. 00:04:05.760 --> 00:04:08.159 I didn't want to have to bring it in, but 00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:10.319 I just couldn't get it to work. There you 00:04:10.319 --> 00:04:12.510 go working now.. - Did you try PLUGGING IT IN 00:04:12.510 --> 00:04:16.109 you dumb BITCH. God damn I hate this 00:04:16.109 --> 00:04:18.120 -- I would hate this job. Thank you 00:04:18.120 --> 00:04:21.989 so much.. - Oh thank you so much I 00:04:21.989 --> 00:04:24.000 didn't think about plugging it in, thank 00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:25.229 youuuuuuuu. 00:04:25.229 --> 00:04:26.910 Tell me when you plugged it in, did you put 00:04:26.910 --> 00:04:28.949 it into.. - Hey tell you what, when you 00:04:28.949 --> 00:04:30.900 plugged it in, did you plug it up your ass 00:04:30.900 --> 00:04:33.150 Is that what you did because you're 00:04:33.150 --> 00:04:33.960 a fucking idiot 00:04:33.960 --> 00:04:35.610 Port number one or port number two? I 00:04:35.610 --> 00:04:39.030 put it in port number 2 - oh my god 00:04:39.030 --> 00:04:42.150 god bless they didn't see anything wrong 00:04:42.150 --> 00:04:47.160 with that question. His Nintendo.. 00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:49.800 So tell me lady, which port did you 00:04:49.800 --> 00:04:52.530 put it in? Er.. was it number one or 00:04:52.530 --> 00:04:57.680 number two? - Well, plug it into number one 00:04:57.680 --> 00:05:00.060 If we put it as a number two it 00:05:00.060 --> 00:05:02.610 won't work. -You heard it here first folks. 00:05:02.610 --> 00:05:05.880 Nintendo said it themselves, if you put it 00:05:05.880 --> 00:05:10.080 at number two it won't work. God bless 00:05:10.080 --> 00:05:11.700 you Nintendo, you're a great-- great 00:05:11.700 --> 00:05:13.080 family-friendly company. I really 00:05:13.080 --> 00:05:15.530 appreciate your family friendliness here *AIRHORNS* 00:05:15.530 --> 00:05:19.110 Makes me really good that you.. you know maybe I 00:05:19.110 --> 00:05:21.120 can't work at Nintendo after all, they 00:05:21.120 --> 00:05:23.220 don't appreciate number two. I'm a little 00:05:23.220 --> 00:05:25.889 disgusted by this - In many cases the 00:05:25.889 --> 00:05:27.510 customer simply failed to follow the 00:05:27.510 --> 00:05:29.160 simple directions package with their 00:05:29.160 --> 00:05:31.050 product *Simple? They were crap guides* Most of the times people are 00:05:31.050 --> 00:05:34.020 just fucking idiots. The training kit is 00:05:34.020 --> 00:05:36.389 there to help you. When you have or are 00:05:36.389 --> 00:05:38.500 given some spare time, review it 00:05:38.500 --> 00:05:40.289 There's no telling what you might pick up which 00:05:40.289 --> 00:05:41.639 will help you during the next occasion 00:05:41.639 --> 00:05:46.370 you have to deal with a customer return 00:05:46.370 --> 00:05:49.110 and the intended customer return. 00:05:49.110 --> 00:05:53.280 Customer returns sounds too scary for me. What other jobs do we 00:05:53.280 --> 00:05:59.410 have? - *Shit piano music* And now displays with Jake 00:05:59.410 --> 00:06:03.580 Hi I'm Jake! - Oh god Jake please. - There you 00:06:03.580 --> 00:06:05.560 are! Sometimes you want to change the 00:06:05.560 --> 00:06:07.840 volume on this as well and we have 00:06:07.840 --> 00:06:09.970 to run around to the side here. The side 00:06:09.970 --> 00:06:11.920 panel will open up if you take the same 00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:14.590 key and open the lock on the back of the 00:06:14.590 --> 00:06:17.740 display. Open up that lock, open the side 00:06:17.740 --> 00:06:20.080 panel. If you look right down here you'll 00:06:20.080 --> 00:06:21.850 see a little blue block with little 00:06:21.850 --> 00:06:23.300 teeny tiny switches on it. 00:06:23.300 --> 00:06:25.570 right above that is a little thing that looks like a 00:06:25.570 --> 00:06:27.940 screw head. - Okay. Take the screwdriver you 00:06:27.940 --> 00:06:30.250 got in your kit. - yep - and turn that little 00:06:30.250 --> 00:06:31.780 screw head one way or the other to 00:06:31.780 --> 00:06:32.710 adjust the volume. 00:06:32.710 --> 00:06:34.690 - That's just to adjust the volume?? 00:06:34.690 --> 00:06:38.050 How high do you like the 00:06:38.050 --> 00:06:39.330 volume? Say that again please 00:06:39.330 --> 00:06:45.070 really HIGH - REALLY HIGH 00:06:45.070 --> 00:06:47.770 good good to know thank you be sure to okay all right then 00:06:47.770 --> 00:06:49.210 put in your screwdriver and you know me 00:06:49.210 --> 00:06:54.010 I like it up REAAAL loud! Hi again - REAAAL Loud! hi again!! 00:06:54.010 --> 00:06:56.500 Take a tube and turn the volume up or 00:06:56.500 --> 00:06:57.790 down as you see fit 00:06:57.790 --> 00:07:00.070 now you know me, I like the volume up 00:07:00.070 --> 00:07:04.600 - really HIGH! - Jesus Christ he scares the 00:07:04.600 --> 00:07:06.670 shit out of me. I can't imagine working 00:07:06.670 --> 00:07:16.870 with him, I'll take any other job. Mix, cold, are you ready? Here we 00:07:16.870 --> 00:07:20.620 go. *FUCK TRANSLATING THE SHIT RAP* 00:07:20.620 --> 00:07:23.920 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:26.170 00:07:26.170 --> 00:07:30.280 00:07:30.280 --> 00:07:33.040 *PEWDS IS DELIGHTED BY THIS SONG. CAN'T YOU TELL?* 00:07:33.040 --> 00:07:35.740 00:07:35.740 --> 00:07:38.950 00:07:38.950 --> 00:07:50.290 Ooooh. Don't forget to smile while serving cold drinks. AAAAAH.. 00:07:50.290 --> 00:07:52.720 You know on second thought, maybe not. Maybe 00:07:52.720 --> 00:07:56.920 not work at Wendy's. May be not! 00:07:56.920 --> 00:07:59.260 That was the worst fucking shit - I don't 00:07:59.260 --> 00:08:01.180 want my customers to have problems 00:08:01.180 --> 00:08:03.900 because I didn't do my job right 00:08:11.719 --> 00:08:14.179 Thank you ma'am have a nice day and come back 00:08:14.179 --> 00:08:19.279 back. -Thank you. Oh god. - I love to see customers 00:08:19.279 --> 00:08:25.899 happy. - URGHHH what is it ? they programmed robots? 00:08:30.690 --> 00:08:32.700 Don't say the same thing over and over 00:08:32.700 --> 00:08:35.760 again like a broken record. Hi welcome to 00:08:35.760 --> 00:08:39.120 Hardy's. Hi welcome to Hardy's. Hi welcome 00:08:39.120 --> 00:08:42.210 to Hardys. *repeats again* 00:08:42.210 --> 00:08:42.780 00:08:42.780 --> 00:08:50.550 00:08:50.550 --> 00:08:56.940 *PEWDS TRIGGERED* 00:08:56.940 --> 00:09:02.100 Hell ya! Hardy's is hard man! Hell yeah man! Five-star service!! 00:09:02.100 --> 00:09:04.530 Hello and welcome, today we'll explore the 00:09:04.530 --> 00:09:06.840 meaning of five-star service and how we 00:09:06.840 --> 00:09:09.090 can provide it to.. - Right okay. 00:09:09.090 --> 00:09:12.000 We make eye contact, smile and offer a 00:09:12.000 --> 00:09:14.790 simple greeting or a friendly wave. - Jesus 00:09:14.790 --> 00:09:16.950 Christ, working service in America must 00:09:16.950 --> 00:09:19.950 be a fucking nightmare. Jesus Christ how 00:09:19.950 --> 00:09:24.630 do you not kill yourself. My god. Oh jesus 00:09:24.630 --> 00:09:28.200 lord it must be so soul-crushing to have 00:09:28.200 --> 00:09:30.030 that job. My god! That's why they're 00:09:30.030 --> 00:09:31.470 always so fake in America and I'm like 00:09:31.470 --> 00:09:34.680 'Why is everyone so nice to me??' Is it because 00:09:34.680 --> 00:09:39.170 I'm Poodewpie? That must be it! 00:09:50.350 --> 00:09:56.550 That's good chicken! -Thanks! This is the hook. 00:09:57.630 --> 00:10:05.880 Hell yeah that's a nice hook man. Oh okay 00:10:06.510 --> 00:10:12.300 *Epic music*! Incredible! I will work at KFC everybody 00:10:14.040 --> 00:10:17.680 Guys I hope you enjoyed this *and these subtitles!* I'm so excited to be working at KFC 00:10:17.680 --> 00:10:21.490 from now on! BAM! I'm at KFC everyone, frying 00:10:21.490 --> 00:10:24.130 your chicken wing boi! Did you ever meet 00:10:24.130 --> 00:10:26.500 me there? Ask for the hook and 00:10:26.500 --> 00:10:27.940 I'll hook you up buddy 00:10:27.940 --> 00:10:29.470 but remember you got to smash that like 00:10:29.470 --> 00:10:31.450 button for a chance that I can win an 00:10:31.450 --> 00:10:33.520 Amazon gift card *That's not how it works* so please smash that 00:10:33.520 --> 00:10:35.680 like button and I'll see you bros in the 00:10:35.680 --> 00:10:36.550 next video, 00:10:36.550 --> 00:10:39.310 frying them chicken wing! Stay awesome bros! 00:10:39.310 --> 00:10:42.220 hi welcome to Hardee's 00:10:42.220 --> 00:10:45.100 hi welcome to Hardees, 00:10:45.100 --> 00:10:48.180 Hi welcome to Hardees *RIP Headphones users*