"33 Ways Your Boyfriend Is Micro-Cheating (And Totally Getting Away With It)"
*DRAMATIC MUSIC*
OHHHHHHOOOHHHHHHHOOOO
Have you been cheating on me?!
Huffington Post what have you been DOUGHING?!
What is this?!
I wanna see how much you've cheated on me.
NO
Huffington Post how could you do this?!
I wanna read it
I trusted you, dammit
Pewds: Am I sweating? Marzia: Oh my god!
I-I feel like I'm sweating a little bit
*DING*
*Marzia reads on screen*
What is "bantering"?
*...*
You don't really reach out to girls for advice
YEAHHH!
You hear that?!!
We are good here
I don't reach out to women
Okay so I'm fine for now?
Yeah
P: whew! M:Wait there is 33 right?
Just 32 more to go
*DING*
*Pewds reads on screen*
Yeah - no you never give a tip to anyone so
THAT'S RIGHT I NEVER GIVE A TIP TO ANYONE
Waddup
Let's see Melanie what you got next
P: Is that who wrote it or..? M: It says Melanie
Oh, Melanie Berliet
I think the real title of this should really just be -
33 Ways ..
I am ...
M : Insecure? P : Insecure
About my boyfriend
And totally getting away with it...
M : Hmmm ...
*DING*
*Marzia reads on screen*
*Hufft ...*
I mean, I only know that you follow Taylor Swift...
I .. I unfollowed her.
YEAH! I PASSED!
Oh yeah, I remember when they hacked her and it came out that you guys were texting.
On twitter
And then you were like "Marzia have to tell you, that I've been -
NUMBA FOUR!
*Dramatic Music*
*Pewds reads on screen*
Oh yeah, but like, does any of these guy do it...
like, that's just weird
P : Who are you dating Melanie? M : Yeah, exactly. That's the real question here...
*DING*
P : Wait, this one is good...
*Pewds reads on screen*
Oh, so if you name someone their, not their name
M: Yeah
P: You are using code.
P: To make sure that they don't find out about it. M: So wait-
So for example, if you had Taylor Swift as a private contact
*Pewds cuts off Marzia* And I her as Tay Sway
That would be a code
Wow...
You should have really been worried if I did that
Oh yeah, for sure...
omg just let me double check on that
*DING*
*Marzia reads on screen*
This is such subtle things! WHO GIVES A SHIT?!
I mean I haven't done it, but who cares?!
WHO THE HELL CARES?!
*DING*
*Pewds reads on screen*
*Cringe in it's final form*
*DING*
*Marzia reads on screen*
Oh no...
What does that mean?!
It's if like, you know, when you ate too much hot sauce...
And you can home and you were worried that I was gonna get mad?
Oh yeah, you, I was so scared. It was half of the pain in my body.
*Marzia Laughs*
So maybe if you went to another girl an be like "What can I do?!"
To feel better, instead of asking me.
You know Melanie *thud* you're damn right about that one
You get that one. You should confide in your girlfriend.
Yeah
Jump high-five? *slapping noise*
*Marzia laughs*
nailed it, okay great
*DING*
*Pewds reads on screen*
WHAT?!
First of all, how do you come up with 33? It's so many things.
How do you think of all these things?
She must be really holding a grudge on someone, like thinking...
yeah
"MY EX-BOYFRIEND DID THIS!"
yeah
"HE DID THAT, AS WELL!"
*ominous music* And she just writing them and mailing these to him.
If it was like a friend of ours, like, if it's Emma or Sophie
And you say something nice to them. Really, cool.
But, I think its just strange if its someone you haven't met...
M: And you say that to someone P: I'm guilty
*muffled* spank me spank me.
NO! nononono! *spanking noise* ah! ow!
That's on my tail!
*DING*
*Pewds reads on screen*
Ooo that's bad
I get that one
Oh, Melanie you got a point over here
yeah
I find it really annoying when people do this.
P: Like, dude, your not fooling anyone. I know, I know what you're doing.
M: uh huh
P: I know what your doing here and let me tell you.
Even if you were single, no one wants your ugly ass.
M: wow alright
*DING*
*Marzia reads on screen*
M: Co...cohabi...bi...t..P: COHABITING
It's not that serious
That's what I say to my parents... when we....
Do your parents ask about us?
Yeah, I was like "Nah, we're not that serious,"
*Marzia laughs* - We've only been together for like 5...
P: 6 years, 5-6 years
M: yeah
"It's just a little thing we got going."
*DING*
*Pewds reads on screen*
*INTENSE MUSIC* OHHHH! NO!
UGH!
Why was that a bad thing?
OHMahGOD!
Why is that a bad thing?
NO!
Have you ever texted anyone "good morning" Marzia?
Why is that...
Have you ever texted any one "good morning"?
I'm afraid I have...
P:NOO! *Marzia laughs*
I'm sorry. I'm cheating on you...
UGHHHHHH!
What the hell, you're, really, you're reaching for it now.
Like...
What's wrong about "good morning"?
Sometimes you know, I just wanna write, maybe...
Like Nicole or my friends in Italy that I don't get to see that often.
M: That's how you start a conversation. P:Yeah
M: yeh
disgusting
*DING*
*Marzia reading text*
So like if you send a picture (P: WoaH!) of your ex-girlfriend?
P: Woah! Woah! Nonono
M:Woahwoah wha?
P: *heavily* HUH
M: What are you reading?
M: Unnecessarily!!
P: OHHH MYGODD!
M: so basically-
P: HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT MARziaa..
I would Never sink that Low
M: I'm sorry...
I would, NEVER
say nice to meet you
to ANYONE
M: so you're just
P: ANYONE!! *distorted audio*
DisGUSTING!
P: WHEW...
M: But like this girl is basically saying that
this boyfriend has to be rude to every, girl, out there.
right?
M: So she can feel e- P: I can agree
P: You know. I don't want to completely bash
Good old,
Melanie
Berliet
But I..I can- I can agree with some of them...
If you make a list with thirty-THREE
M: Mmm.
P: You got plenty alright,
just cut some of them out M: yeah
M: Take the top ten.
P: How about Top Ten yeah just go for
top ten next time M: yeahh...
*Ding*
P: Going out of his way to do something nice for someone who's not his girlfriend.
You- So basi- you can, you can not have...
any...Friends, M: yeah. Basically, yeah
P: From the other gender. (M: yeah yeah yeah) At all.
P: You're not, that's not- allowed.
Just treat all women bad... M: yeah exactly
*Pewds laughs
M: And it's coming, from a woman.
P: And put me...
M: It's kinda ridiculous but...
P: Put me on the throne... and kiss my ass
M: yeah
I do agree with 17 though.
*Marzia reading text*
P: That's just a bit weird, yeah.
M: If you were like..
P: What does that m- if you tell someone (M: To a girl)
that... M: "I'm thinking about you"
P: Yeah...
M: That's, not-
P: Yeah... That's kind of
M: I do agree with that one
So we got 2 that- *inaudible*
P: So that's, that's Micro Cheating!
OHH!!
2017 micro cheating
M: *mumbling* I don't really see 'micro cheating'
P: Micro. *Marzia laughs*
If you get at least ten...
Ten of- ten of these
P: You are- M: It turns into cheating
P: It turns into cheating M: Mmm
M: Alright, that's why she needed a longer list
P: That's why she needed- *both laughing*
*Ding*
P: Establishing secret code words and, slash or inside jokes with women outside of hi-... the RelationSHIP
M: but that's- can just be like a-
P: hOW DARE YOU!
Have jokes, with other women!
M: Yeah
P: You having inside jokes, without me?
P: Huh?
But with Emma
*Pewds gasps*
She's cheating on me with another woman
M: Yeah.
*Pewds makes a rough noise*
P: Who is this. (M: Definitely.) Who IS THIS EMMA.
*Pewds gasps*
You know who (P: Em-) Emma is? *giggles*
P: Em. Mah
M: You're afraid
P: Eh- M:That I will run off with her (Oooh...MarziEmma)
Is it Emma...
Pickles?
M: Yeah~
*suspenseful music*
M: She looks, Goooooood.
That's Micro Cheating!
Eh- Yeah~
P: Yeah no have fun with this.
M: Hey!
*Pewds laughs*
M: That's my dream, alright?
Wait that's my tears!
What are you doing?
Salty....
*both laugh*
*calm music* P: I had never- I would never micro cheat at you Marzia
Yeah.
*Pewds sighs*
Well,
I gotta say, ah... I think,
But that's how you know, right?
This trust...*inaudible*
Pffftttttttt......
M: So cheesy
*Marzia laughs* P: I was jus about to say
that I don't *inaudible*...
I don't know. I think...with other girls
Ahah I, you know...w- I've been with other... *Marzia laughs*
P: A lot of women
M: A lot of women.
M: Mmm.
It's what you make it.
You- If you are with someone that does all this shit.
And it bothers you...
Don't write an article about it.
Just get outta that relationship.
M: yeah.
How 'bout that?
M: Mm-mm.
*Dramatic music starts*
Who is Susan?
*Dramatic Music*
P: No-
M: It's in Swedish.
P: Uh-
*dramatic music stops* You wrote..."Nice to meet you."
*dramatic music restarts, louder in volume*
*dramatic music fades off*
*Outro music*
*Music stretches out to reach 10 minute Ad revenue*