WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:05.000 "33 Ways Your Boyfriend Is Micro-Cheating (And Totally Getting Away With It)" 00:00:05.060 --> 00:00:10.220 *DRAMATIC MUSIC* 00:00:10.420 --> 00:00:14.340 OHHHHHHOOOHHHHHHHOOOO 00:00:14.340 --> 00:00:15.780 Have you been cheating on me?! 00:00:15.780 --> 00:00:18.780 Huffington Post what have you been DOUGHING?! 00:00:19.060 --> 00:00:20.140 What is this?! 00:00:20.140 --> 00:00:21.980 I wanna see how much you've cheated on me. 00:00:21.980 --> 00:00:22.620 NO 00:00:22.880 --> 00:00:25.120 Huffington Post how could you do this?! 00:00:25.120 --> 00:00:25.860 I wanna read it 00:00:25.860 --> 00:00:27.500 I trusted you, dammit 00:00:27.500 --> 00:00:28.360 Pewds: Am I sweating? Marzia: Oh my god! 00:00:28.840 --> 00:00:31.880 I-I feel like I'm sweating a little bit 00:00:34.300 --> 00:00:34.800 *DING* 00:00:35.420 --> 00:00:37.720 *Marzia reads on screen* 00:00:44.400 --> 00:00:45.740 What is "bantering"? 00:00:45.940 --> 00:00:46.860 *...* 00:00:47.000 --> 00:00:49.900 You don't really reach out to girls for advice 00:00:50.160 --> 00:00:50.880 YEAHHH! 00:00:51.920 --> 00:00:53.040 You hear that?!! 00:00:53.040 --> 00:00:54.240 We are good here 00:00:54.240 --> 00:00:55.580 I don't reach out to women 00:00:55.820 --> 00:00:57.900 Okay so I'm fine for now? 00:00:57.900 --> 00:00:58.620 Yeah 00:00:58.860 --> 00:01:00.520 P: whew! M:Wait there is 33 right? 00:01:00.700 --> 00:01:02.300 Just 32 more to go 00:01:02.800 --> 00:01:03.740 *DING* 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:05.600 *Pewds reads on screen* 00:01:10.020 --> 00:01:13.800 Yeah - no you never give a tip to anyone so 00:01:13.800 --> 00:01:16.280 THAT'S RIGHT I NEVER GIVE A TIP TO ANYONE 00:01:16.440 --> 00:01:16.940 Waddup 00:01:16.940 --> 00:01:19.500 Let's see Melanie what you got next 00:01:19.500 --> 00:01:21.540 P: Is that who wrote it or..? M: It says Melanie 00:01:21.580 --> 00:01:23.020 Oh, Melanie Berliet 00:01:23.020 --> 00:01:25.020 I think the real title of this should really just be - 00:01:25.400 --> 00:01:26.240 33 Ways .. 00:01:26.280 --> 00:01:27.060 I am ... 00:01:27.680 --> 00:01:29.060 M : Insecure? P : Insecure 00:01:29.100 --> 00:01:30.620 About my boyfriend 00:01:30.620 --> 00:01:32.260 And totally getting away with it... 00:01:32.260 --> 00:01:32.820 M : Hmmm ... 00:01:32.820 --> 00:01:33.720 *DING* 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:35.000 *Marzia reads on screen* 00:01:41.440 --> 00:01:41.940 *Hufft ...* 00:01:42.040 --> 00:01:44.600 I mean, I only know that you follow Taylor Swift... 00:01:45.180 --> 00:01:45.940 I .. I unfollowed her. 00:01:47.140 --> 00:01:48.160 YEAH! I PASSED! 00:01:48.640 --> 00:01:53.980 Oh yeah, I remember when they hacked her and it came out that you guys were texting. 00:01:54.000 --> 00:01:55.040 On twitter 00:01:55.440 --> 00:01:58.400 And then you were like "Marzia have to tell you, that I've been - 00:01:58.400 --> 00:01:59.560 NUMBA FOUR! 00:02:00.000 --> 00:02:01.920 *Dramatic Music* 00:02:01.920 --> 00:02:03.320 *Pewds reads on screen* 00:02:16.420 --> 00:02:20.380 Oh yeah, but like, does any of these guy do it... 00:02:20.380 --> 00:02:22.380 like, that's just weird 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:25.620 P : Who are you dating Melanie? M : Yeah, exactly. That's the real question here... 00:02:25.720 --> 00:02:26.220 *DING* 00:02:26.220 --> 00:02:28.220 P : Wait, this one is good... 00:02:28.220 --> 00:02:29.420 *Pewds reads on screen* 00:02:33.200 --> 00:02:36.480 Oh, so if you name someone their, not their name 00:02:36.480 --> 00:02:37.200 M: Yeah 00:02:37.200 --> 00:02:38.580 P: You are using code. 00:02:39.060 --> 00:02:41.540 P: To make sure that they don't find out about it. M: So wait- 00:02:41.540 --> 00:02:44.840 So for example, if you had Taylor Swift as a private contact 00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:46.840 *Pewds cuts off Marzia* And I her as Tay Sway 00:02:46.840 --> 00:02:48.180 That would be a code 00:02:48.180 --> 00:02:48.800 Wow... 00:02:48.800 --> 00:02:50.560 You should have really been worried if I did that 00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:51.980 Oh yeah, for sure... 00:02:52.060 --> 00:02:54.140 omg just let me double check on that 00:02:54.140 --> 00:02:54.760 *DING* 00:02:55.660 --> 00:02:56.540 *Marzia reads on screen* 00:03:01.100 --> 00:03:04.340 This is such subtle things! WHO GIVES A SHIT?! 00:03:04.420 --> 00:03:06.420 I mean I haven't done it, but who cares?! 00:03:06.980 --> 00:03:08.580 WHO THE HELL CARES?! 00:03:08.580 --> 00:03:09.080 *DING* 00:03:09.700 --> 00:03:11.700 *Pewds reads on screen* 00:03:18.040 --> 00:03:18.740 *Cringe in it's final form* 00:03:18.740 --> 00:03:19.300 *DING* 00:03:20.280 --> 00:03:21.300 *Marzia reads on screen* 00:03:25.300 --> 00:03:25.800 Oh no... 00:03:29.580 --> 00:03:31.580 What does that mean?! 00:03:31.580 --> 00:03:34.200 It's if like, you know, when you ate too much hot sauce... 00:03:34.900 --> 00:03:37.300 And you can home and you were worried that I was gonna get mad? 00:03:37.300 --> 00:03:39.800 Oh yeah, you, I was so scared. It was half of the pain in my body. 00:03:39.800 --> 00:03:41.540 *Marzia Laughs* 00:03:41.540 --> 00:03:44.780 So maybe if you went to another girl an be like "What can I do?!" 00:03:44.780 --> 00:03:46.780 To feel better, instead of asking me. 00:03:46.780 --> 00:03:48.880 You know Melanie *thud* you're damn right about that one 00:03:48.880 --> 00:03:51.340 You get that one. You should confide in your girlfriend. 00:03:51.340 --> 00:03:52.120 Yeah 00:03:52.120 --> 00:03:53.680 Jump high-five? *slapping noise* 00:03:53.680 --> 00:03:55.100 *Marzia laughs* 00:03:55.100 --> 00:03:56.540 nailed it, okay great 00:03:56.620 --> 00:03:57.120 *DING* 00:03:57.520 --> 00:03:59.520 *Pewds reads on screen* 00:04:04.920 --> 00:04:05.980 WHAT?! 00:04:05.980 --> 00:04:08.900 First of all, how do you come up with 33? It's so many things. 00:04:08.900 --> 00:04:10.900 How do you think of all these things? 00:04:11.640 --> 00:04:15.160 She must be really holding a grudge on someone, like thinking... 00:04:15.160 --> 00:04:15.660 yeah 00:04:15.660 --> 00:04:16.680 "MY EX-BOYFRIEND DID THIS!" 00:04:16.680 --> 00:04:17.180 yeah 00:04:17.180 --> 00:04:18.420 "HE DID THAT, AS WELL!" 00:04:18.800 --> 00:04:21.740 *ominous music* And she just writing them and mailing these to him. 00:04:21.740 --> 00:04:24.860 If it was like a friend of ours, like, if it's Emma or Sophie 00:04:24.860 --> 00:04:27.220 And you say something nice to them. Really, cool. 00:04:27.220 --> 00:04:31.000 But, I think its just strange if its someone you haven't met... 00:04:31.000 --> 00:04:32.680 M: And you say that to someone P: I'm guilty 00:04:32.680 --> 00:04:34.060 *muffled* spank me spank me. 00:04:34.400 --> 00:04:36.400 NO! nononono! *spanking noise* ah! ow! 00:04:36.400 --> 00:04:37.260 That's on my tail! 00:04:37.260 --> 00:04:37.760 *DING* 00:04:38.360 --> 00:04:40.360 *Pewds reads on screen* 00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:49.920 Ooo that's bad 00:04:49.920 --> 00:04:50.720 I get that one 00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:52.520 Oh, Melanie you got a point over here 00:04:52.520 --> 00:04:53.020 yeah 00:04:53.020 --> 00:04:54.760 I find it really annoying when people do this. 00:04:54.760 --> 00:04:57.960 P: Like, dude, your not fooling anyone. I know, I know what you're doing. 00:04:58.220 --> 00:04:58.720 M: uh huh 00:04:58.720 --> 00:05:00.720 P: I know what your doing here and let me tell you. 00:05:00.720 --> 00:05:03.200 Even if you were single, no one wants your ugly ass. 00:05:03.660 --> 00:05:04.440 M: wow alright 00:05:04.440 --> 00:05:04.940 *DING* 00:05:05.220 --> 00:05:07.220 *Marzia reads on screen* 00:05:09.000 --> 00:05:12.780 M: Co...cohabi...bi...t..P: COHABITING 00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:17.240 It's not that serious 00:05:17.240 --> 00:05:20.000 That's what I say to my parents... when we.... 00:05:20.800 --> 00:05:22.480 Do your parents ask about us? 00:05:22.480 --> 00:05:24.480 Yeah, I was like "Nah, we're not that serious," 00:05:24.480 --> 00:05:26.460 *Marzia laughs* - We've only been together for like 5... 00:05:26.460 --> 00:05:27.680 P: 6 years, 5-6 years 00:05:27.820 --> 00:05:28.320 M: yeah 00:05:29.460 --> 00:05:31.320 "It's just a little thing we got going." 00:05:31.320 --> 00:05:31.820 *DING* 00:05:32.320 --> 00:05:34.320 *Pewds reads on screen* 00:05:36.180 --> 00:05:38.180 *INTENSE MUSIC* OHHHH! NO! 00:05:38.500 --> 00:05:39.580 UGH! 00:05:39.580 --> 00:05:40.860 Why was that a bad thing? 00:05:40.860 --> 00:05:41.860 OHMahGOD! 00:05:41.860 --> 00:05:43.580 Why is that a bad thing? 00:05:43.580 --> 00:05:44.080 NO! 00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:46.740 Have you ever texted anyone "good morning" Marzia? 00:05:47.380 --> 00:05:47.880 Why is that... 00:05:47.880 --> 00:05:49.880 Have you ever texted any one "good morning"? 00:05:50.180 --> 00:05:51.480 I'm afraid I have... 00:05:51.480 --> 00:05:52.980 P:NOO! *Marzia laughs* 00:05:52.980 --> 00:05:54.980 I'm sorry. I'm cheating on you... 00:05:54.980 --> 00:05:56.220 UGHHHHHH! 00:05:56.240 --> 00:05:59.080 What the hell, you're, really, you're reaching for it now. 00:05:59.080 --> 00:05:59.580 Like... 00:05:59.580 --> 00:06:01.580 What's wrong about "good morning"? 00:06:01.580 --> 00:06:04.080 Sometimes you know, I just wanna write, maybe... 00:06:04.080 --> 00:06:07.740 Like Nicole or my friends in Italy that I don't get to see that often. 00:06:08.980 --> 00:06:10.600 M: That's how you start a conversation. P:Yeah 00:06:10.600 --> 00:06:11.180 M: yeh 00:06:12.340 --> 00:06:12.940 disgusting 00:06:12.940 --> 00:06:13.440 *DING* 00:06:14.000 --> 00:06:14.800 *Marzia reading text* 00:06:23.200 --> 00:06:25.520 So like if you send a picture (P: WoaH!) of your ex-girlfriend? 00:06:25.520 --> 00:06:26.760 P: Woah! Woah! Nonono 00:06:26.760 --> 00:06:27.260 M:Woahwoah wha? 00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:28.100 P: *heavily* HUH 00:06:28.280 --> 00:06:29.000 M: What are you reading? 00:06:32.780 --> 00:06:34.140 M: Unnecessarily!! 00:06:34.160 --> 00:06:35.660 P: OHHH MYGODD! 00:06:35.660 --> 00:06:36.300 M: so basically- 00:06:36.320 --> 00:06:38.320 P: HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT MARziaa.. 00:06:38.400 --> 00:06:40.000 I would Never sink that Low 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:40.600 M: I'm sorry... 00:06:40.600 --> 00:06:41.960 I would, NEVER 00:06:41.960 --> 00:06:43.340 say nice to meet you 00:06:43.340 --> 00:06:44.300 to ANYONE 00:06:44.300 --> 00:06:45.000 M: so you're just 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:46.280 P: ANYONE!! *distorted audio* 00:06:46.980 --> 00:06:48.240 DisGUSTING! 00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:49.040 P: WHEW... 00:06:49.040 --> 00:06:51.100 M: But like this girl is basically saying that 00:06:51.100 --> 00:06:54.300 this boyfriend has to be rude to every, girl, out there. 00:06:54.780 --> 00:06:55.280 right? 00:06:55.880 --> 00:06:57.200 M: So she can feel e- P: I can agree 00:06:57.200 --> 00:06:59.260 P: You know. I don't want to completely bash 00:06:59.260 --> 00:06:59.760 Good old, 00:06:59.760 --> 00:07:00.440 Melanie 00:07:00.440 --> 00:07:01.160 Berliet 00:07:01.200 --> 00:07:03.360 But I..I can- I can agree with some of them... 00:07:03.360 --> 00:07:05.040 If you make a list with thirty-THREE 00:07:05.160 --> 00:07:05.840 M: Mmm. 00:07:05.840 --> 00:07:06.700 P: You got plenty alright, 00:07:06.700 --> 00:07:08.100 just cut some of them out M: yeah 00:07:08.100 --> 00:07:09.000 M: Take the top ten. 00:07:09.000 --> 00:07:10.500 P: How about Top Ten yeah just go for 00:07:10.500 --> 00:07:11.740 top ten next time M: yeahh... 00:07:11.740 --> 00:07:12.800 *Ding* 00:07:12.800 --> 00:07:16.800 P: Going out of his way to do something nice for someone who's not his girlfriend. 00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:19.000 You- So basi- you can, you can not have... 00:07:19.020 --> 00:07:21.000 any...Friends, M: yeah. Basically, yeah 00:07:21.000 --> 00:07:23.120 P: From the other gender. (M: yeah yeah yeah) At all. 00:07:23.120 --> 00:07:24.560 P: You're not, that's not- allowed. 00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:26.680 Just treat all women bad... M: yeah exactly 00:07:26.680 --> 00:07:27.400 *Pewds laughs 00:07:27.400 --> 00:07:29.140 M: And it's coming, from a woman. 00:07:29.140 --> 00:07:29.940 P: And put me... 00:07:30.280 --> 00:07:31.840 M: It's kinda ridiculous but... 00:07:31.840 --> 00:07:33.760 P: Put me on the throne... and kiss my ass 00:07:33.760 --> 00:07:34.260 M: yeah 00:07:34.260 --> 00:07:35.600 I do agree with 17 though. 00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:36.100 *Marzia reading text* 00:07:40.280 --> 00:07:41.900 P: That's just a bit weird, yeah. 00:07:41.900 --> 00:07:43.040 M: If you were like.. 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:44.700 P: What does that m- if you tell someone (M: To a girl) 00:07:44.700 --> 00:07:45.600 that... M: "I'm thinking about you" 00:07:45.600 --> 00:07:46.100 P: Yeah... 00:07:46.100 --> 00:07:46.600 M: That's, not- 00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:47.780 P: Yeah... That's kind of 00:07:47.780 --> 00:07:48.800 M: I do agree with that one 00:07:48.800 --> 00:07:50.120 So we got 2 that- *inaudible* 00:07:50.120 --> 00:07:51.800 P: So that's, that's Micro Cheating! 00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:52.580 OHH!! 00:07:52.580 --> 00:07:54.320 2017 micro cheating 00:07:54.320 --> 00:07:55.900 M: *mumbling* I don't really see 'micro cheating' 00:07:55.900 --> 00:07:57.060 P: Micro. *Marzia laughs* 00:07:57.200 --> 00:07:58.900 If you get at least ten... 00:07:59.360 --> 00:08:00.820 Ten of- ten of these 00:08:00.820 --> 00:08:01.800 P: You are- M: It turns into cheating 00:08:01.800 --> 00:08:03.200 P: It turns into cheating M: Mmm 00:08:03.200 --> 00:08:05.320 M: Alright, that's why she needed a longer list 00:08:05.320 --> 00:08:07.380 P: That's why she needed- *both laughing* 00:08:08.080 --> 00:08:08.760 *Ding* 00:08:08.920 --> 00:08:15.400 P: Establishing secret code words and, slash or inside jokes with women outside of hi-... the RelationSHIP 00:08:15.400 --> 00:08:16.220 M: but that's- can just be like a- 00:08:16.220 --> 00:08:17.400 P: hOW DARE YOU! 00:08:17.400 --> 00:08:19.000 Have jokes, with other women! 00:08:19.000 --> 00:08:19.500 M: Yeah 00:08:19.500 --> 00:08:21.120 P: You having inside jokes, without me? 00:08:21.120 --> 00:08:21.680 P: Huh? 00:08:22.860 --> 00:08:24.020 But with Emma 00:08:24.020 --> 00:08:25.000 *Pewds gasps* 00:08:25.100 --> 00:08:27.100 She's cheating on me with another woman 00:08:27.100 --> 00:08:27.820 M: Yeah. 00:08:27.820 --> 00:08:28.600 *Pewds makes a rough noise* 00:08:28.600 --> 00:08:30.600 P: Who is this. (M: Definitely.) Who IS THIS EMMA. 00:08:30.600 --> 00:08:31.100 *Pewds gasps* 00:08:31.100 --> 00:08:32.800 You know who (P: Em-) Emma is? *giggles* 00:08:32.800 --> 00:08:33.300 P: Em. Mah 00:08:33.300 --> 00:08:34.300 M: You're afraid 00:08:34.300 --> 00:08:35.700 P: Eh- M:That I will run off with her (Oooh...MarziEmma) 00:08:35.700 --> 00:08:36.820 Is it Emma... 00:08:36.820 --> 00:08:37.320 Pickles? 00:08:37.320 --> 00:08:38.040 M: Yeah~ 00:08:38.040 --> 00:08:39.680 *suspenseful music* 00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:43.180 M: She looks, Goooooood. 00:08:43.320 --> 00:08:44.520 That's Micro Cheating! 00:08:44.740 --> 00:08:45.560 Eh- Yeah~ 00:08:45.560 --> 00:08:47.000 P: Yeah no have fun with this. 00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:47.500 M: Hey! 00:08:47.500 --> 00:08:48.000 *Pewds laughs* 00:08:48.000 --> 00:08:49.500 M: That's my dream, alright? 00:08:52.380 --> 00:08:53.660 Wait that's my tears! 00:08:54.440 --> 00:08:55.240 What are you doing? 00:08:55.240 --> 00:08:55.940 Salty.... 00:08:55.940 --> 00:08:57.940 *both laugh* 00:08:59.060 --> 00:09:01.980 *calm music* P: I had never- I would never micro cheat at you Marzia 00:09:02.000 --> 00:09:02.780 Yeah. 00:09:02.780 --> 00:09:03.280 *Pewds sighs* 00:09:03.280 --> 00:09:03.780 Well, 00:09:03.780 --> 00:09:05.420 I gotta say, ah... I think, 00:09:05.420 --> 00:09:07.420 But that's how you know, right? 00:09:07.420 --> 00:09:09.300 This trust...*inaudible* 00:09:09.300 --> 00:09:10.460 Pffftttttttt...... 00:09:10.460 --> 00:09:12.240 M: So cheesy 00:09:12.240 --> 00:09:12.740 *Marzia laughs* P: I was jus about to say 00:09:12.740 --> 00:09:13.760 that I don't *inaudible*... 00:09:13.760 --> 00:09:15.760 I don't know. I think...with other girls 00:09:15.760 --> 00:09:17.760 Ahah I, you know...w- I've been with other... *Marzia laughs* 00:09:18.660 --> 00:09:19.580 P: A lot of women 00:09:19.580 --> 00:09:20.200 M: A lot of women. 00:09:20.520 --> 00:09:21.080 M: Mmm. 00:09:21.080 --> 00:09:22.400 It's what you make it. 00:09:22.400 --> 00:09:24.580 You- If you are with someone that does all this shit. 00:09:24.580 --> 00:09:25.900 And it bothers you... 00:09:26.380 --> 00:09:27.820 Don't write an article about it. 00:09:27.820 --> 00:09:29.240 Just get outta that relationship. 00:09:29.240 --> 00:09:29.740 M: yeah. 00:09:29.740 --> 00:09:30.280 How 'bout that? 00:09:30.280 --> 00:09:31.200 M: Mm-mm. 00:09:31.200 --> 00:09:32.600 *Dramatic music starts* 00:09:32.600 --> 00:09:33.900 Who is Susan? 00:09:33.900 --> 00:09:34.400 *Dramatic Music* 00:09:34.740 --> 00:09:35.240 P: No- 00:09:35.240 --> 00:09:36.060 M: It's in Swedish. 00:09:36.060 --> 00:09:36.560 P: Uh- 00:09:37.280 --> 00:09:39.280 *dramatic music stops* You wrote..."Nice to meet you." 00:09:39.280 --> 00:09:41.280 *dramatic music restarts, louder in volume* 00:09:44.640 --> 00:09:45.780 *dramatic music fades off* 00:09:45.780 --> 00:09:52.700 *Outro music* 00:09:54.200 --> 00:10:11.000 *Music stretches out to reach 10 minute Ad revenue*