WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Sweden's hate registry..??

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Okay..

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Okay.

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JonTron.

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That makes sense.

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He's a Nazi.

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(scary sound effects)
Pooderpie..?

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No..

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(sad gasp)

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Why?

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Why are we still he-- (laughs)

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Kaz: Just to suffer..

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Just.

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(inhales)

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Sweden!

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Kaz: Every night.

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Sweden!
Kaz: I can feel my leg.

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Kaz: I can feel my leg.

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Why?!

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Kaz: My arm..

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Why, Sweden, why?!

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Why, Sweden, why?!
Kaz: Even my fingers.

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Kaz: Even my fingers.

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I can't talk right now.

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Why Lisa? Why Lisa? Please talk to me, please!
Kaz: The body I've lost...

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Why Lisa? Why Lisa? Please talk to me, please!

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Kaz: The comrades I've lost!

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(Metal Gear Solid V Kaz Miller speech grows)

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Kaz: It won't stop hurting!

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The part of my life, you are everything.
Kaz: It won't stop hurting!

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The part of my life, you are everything.

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I could not go on without you Lisa.
Kaz: It's like they're all still there.

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The government's database..!
Kaz: You feel it too, don't you?

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Has me!

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On the hate registry.

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You are lying! I nearly hit you.

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You are tearing me apart Lisa!

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What did I do?

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What the fuck did I do?

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Why do you hate me Sweden?

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(trashing)

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Okay. Let's start the video.

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What the fuck are you guys doing here?

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Revel mode is over.

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Ge-get out.

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Get out.

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It's done.

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It's done.

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Oh! You're here.

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(laughs)

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♫  Ano kousaten de  ♫
( What if everyone skipped down )

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♫  Min’na ga moshi SUKIPPU wo shite  ♫
( Along the city streets that run all throughout the town )

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♫  Moshi ano machi no man’naka de  ♫
( Imagine if we met up in the city’s heart )

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♫  Te wo tsunaide sora wo miagetara  ♫
( And one by one we held hands and looked up the sky )

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♫  Moshimo ano machi no dokoka de  ♫
( Imagine if you’d look around from where you stand )

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♫  [ “PONPONPON” / Kyary Pamyu Pamyu ]  ♫

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I've got exciting news!

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I've got great news!!

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EVERYBODY GET READY!!

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*KYARY GETS EXTREMELY QUIET*

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Oh, jeez...

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*Kyary starts over the song*

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OH GOD.

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Well, whatever. I'm starting -

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my own company!

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This is a huge announcement for me.

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And..!

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I'm hiring.

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That's right.

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That's right!

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I know this may come as a little shock for everyone, but I have left BuzzFeed.

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I'm starting a new business.

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I think it's gonna be great.

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Y-y-yeah. I got great hopes for this one.

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The underwater rats?

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Fuck 'em.

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Okay?

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I'm sure I can do something with them in the future but for now...

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I'm starting my new company.

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But to start this new company, I'm gonna need some inspiration on start-ups.
(i got bored)

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How do they do it, How do start ups get Millions and millions of dollars?

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Without really having an interesting product or having like me no product whatsoever. Let's have a look

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There's a company that rates 120 million million!! Let's let's look at that product

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Making juice is easy

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Start by taking a stroll down to the neighborhood farmers market by about 50 dollars worth of organic fruits and vegetables

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$50 *Sarcastically* excuse me is that $50 worth of vegetables?

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What are you fucking talking about? That's like 2, 2 eu- Whatever okay? Let's just keep watching

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What is this? Its a juicero, Im sorry I don't know what that word means

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It's a- it's a doger. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't I don't know what that word means doger

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Can you- can you. can you define that to me.

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Its a doger

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basically juicero is a

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$400 bag squeeze you can't use that they basically juice that comes in packs and

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You can't use anyone else's packs you have to use their packs

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because if you spend

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$400 on a fucking juicer, that's clearly not enough. Now bloomberg did an interesting discovery

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Incredible

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You can just squeeze the bag

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Excuse me. I I don't like doing this so I would like to pay $400

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Please. it used to cost $700 by the way

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Incredible, wow. How much money did they raise?

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Ohhhhh, I love how people get so mad when they found out how much I make and, just look at- just look at juices

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okay, I

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God damn it. I ain't making that juice money yet, okay?

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So calm the fuck down. And we haven't even gotten to the most genius part yet. That it it squeezes bags for you?

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Oh wait? if there's wait, there's more?There's nothing to clean no mess whatsoever

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It's so easy that it makes the old way of juicing seem

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Well... old. Why did I do all that other stuff [who] cares that's our past life. This is our new life

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[to] Sarah

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The easiest freshest most delicious way to get juice.

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But I just have one question hey is it a duggar though guru so clearly

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Clearly running a business has if this piece of shit can we get 10 and 20 million? I'm pretty sure my idea

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it's Gonna get a

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Lot more than and a lot more than that [weighs] it under water rats. [oh]

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goddamn it.

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aw

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Okay

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Well, it looks like I'm gonna have to come up with a better idea. [well], you know buzzfeed recently changed their name from Buzzfeed yellow

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Buzzfeed yellow is now boldly (SHIT I KNEW THEY CHANGED THEIR NAME)so now buzzfeed is available, so welcome everyone. I'm launching

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Buzzfeed yellow everyone. Thank you. Thank you, uh

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where the fuck did he go ,,,..,,,,,..,.we got a very diversified?

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Employ-  uh crowd of people so far did I mention my dog is black

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*phone ringing*

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Hello( its mE)

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It's my lawyer. What do you mean? I can't call it buzzfeed yellow they still trademark odd okay? It's [fucked] this time. [oh]

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That's fine. I'm [gonna] call it

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buttfeed

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Now that's stupid, buttfeet

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Yes

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buttfeet everyone

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So I'm looking for

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I'm looking for you guys. I obviously need to hire a diversified crowd, so so I asked you guys on Twitter to

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Apply to my new job

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my new company, buttfeet I asked you guys to fill in some simple questions, and now let's just review your

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Applicants here, we go number one Big Mac

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Ravioli what's your best friend's age 87 oh Pal?

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Ernesto

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Your gender apache helicopter. That's great

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That's really great preferred pronoun [desu] the fuck does [that] mean if you were a crayon

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What color would you be colors doesn't matter you're goddamn right it. They don't matter [unless]

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[you're] hiring for the job. I'm sorry you didn't make the cut you fucking idiot colors matter a great deal all right

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We have another [application] from mold dog another apache helicopter. That's great

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We need one [of] those if you were a crayon, what color would you be?

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Triangle all right this is looking good. So far. What would the name of your debut album be kazoo kid vol 1 well, that's that's

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Clearly Fuckin taking I'm sorry you're out

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Can I get some serious applicants here anything for you supplied your best [friend's] age 22 your gender male?

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What are you [fuckin] gay? What I?

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What what the fuck is that preferred pronoun legend if you were a crayon what color would you be white because?

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The white Crayon is useless?

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Well at least he's honest describe yourself in three words

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fat and lazy

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Anything for views, you're hired!!!1

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Congratulations everyone you're one of the first people to join the proud, buttfeet thank you so much

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Thank you so much. We're proud to have you aboard

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hopefully you can do something about that Gender, but

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That's in the future next applicant. We have my size

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150 cream egg. What would the name of your debut album be yo it's your boy skinny penis, ha ha [hey]

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It's your boy

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Skinny penis wait your favorite kPOp band is appa

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You're out what the fuck?

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whats wrong with you. God damn it Krista griffin. If you were a crayon. What color would you be kpop hair gray you're

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AANNOO TOOO SETAND-

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fucking

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This fucking thing

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Congratulations

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The [griff] the Griffin you're in buddy. look how many fucking

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apache helicopters we got

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We got a lot of apache helicopters applying that's really good. We need we [need] a --fucking hell. That's a lot

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of apache -hehhe - helicopters

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because

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Okay, well luckily here. We have a female because we need you need at least one otherwise preferred pronoun

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Lord [or] [shamar]. [oh] is that that naruto fucking guy zero deaths. This is actually really promising. Why do you want to work at McDonald's?

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I left buzzfeed

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Yes, you're in you're in buddy. We have gathered team of buttfeed

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Congratulations, you start

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*Subtle moan*

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Right now get the (potty word). I am not paying you

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What is this video about?

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We need a logo for this endeavour. Let's just make one right now

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We need a logo for buttfeet [alright], so we have a we have a butt here, and now we're slowly

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slowly going to make sure that it's a-

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Yes

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Yes, that's it, buttfeed

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Buttfeet everyone there it is

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Excellent. We're going to make millions. I wonder how much buzzfeeds worth actually oh

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oh my fucking God

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*typing noises*

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How do I-- how am I going to get funding even though I'm a rich millionaire. [that's] it's ridiculous

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I could start a patreon [Kanye] [west] asked Mark Zuckerberg [1] Kelly mark Zuckerberg invest 1 billion dollar into Kanye west ideas okay?

00:11:52.310 --> 00:11:54.310
Well, let's just

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[alright], well that pretty much does it thank you. Thank you. We got the funding we got the shitty idea

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We got the name and we got the applicants

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*triple clap*

