*drops camera*
Oh-
*sighs*
Oh my god I just unironically sighed before a video.
Great.
I feel really sad.
I really feel down right now.
Uhm...
Because I-
I-
I realized last night that I can't keep doing the vlogs.
It really, really sucks.
I really wanted Birdabo to be something fun and positive and different for the channel.
And I think it was the first week.
But now, it's just gotten to a point where...
Not just me is being affected by it but like other people around me.
Brad and Michael who came out here to help me with the vlogs-
'Cause I was already stressed out before I came here.
And...
Uhm...
I think I have a pretty high tolerance of stress, but...
It just got worse, and I talked about this in the vlog. It just got worse when I came here.
It's just been so stressful.
I'm doing the show, I'm doing the daily vlogs, uh- doing RevelMode stuff, and it's just...
It's just been too much. And I can deal with it, like- It's just another ten days, right?
But...
Like even with Marzia, it's like... forced to do all these things. It just feels forced.
Brad and Michael, everyone is just stressed out over the vlogs, and I think the fun disappeared somewhere.
And like if it's forced and not fun, then what's the point of continuing?
Uhm...
It really sucks... that I'm here.
I- I- I really wanted Birdabo to be something fun and positive like I said but...
I- I just can't keep going with it.
Uhm...
I'm really sorry... that it's... if you expected more.
I'm really sorry I'm in this situation.
It really sucks for me. Uhm...
I've always put YouTube first.
Always.
Even if I'm working on other projects, it doesn't matter. The videos goes first.
You guys come first. That's my main thing.
But I- I can't do that while I'm here.
'Cause I have to do the show... and I have to do all these other things.
And keeping the vlogs up, it's just impossible at this point.
So I'm really sorry to you guys for not doing that. I feel really disappointed.
Uhm...
I wish I could just make my normal videos again.
I wish I was home.
I- I miss my pugs.
But I'm here for another week and uh... I don't... I don't- I don't know how I'm gonna keep doing the vlogs so-
It's just not worth it.
I said it before, but I never want to force content, y'know?
I really have a lot of fun when I'm with my own setup, doing my own thing.
But, I realized just like...
Everyone just feels forced to film these things, and it's just...
I'm just really sad about it.
I... I hope you understand.
I wish... I wish it wasn't like this- I know it's not even that big a deal. I don't know why I'm so fucking upset about it.
It's just we really worked really hard on this fucking thing, and I think that's what killed it.
*laughs*
Which is such a shame.
And I think that's why I'm so upset.
I'll be back in probably a week and a half to my normal videos.
I'm just need to finish what I'm doing here in L.A.
I need to put myself first... this time.
So disappointed.
No, you know what? Let's end this on a positive note.
You guys' support while doing the vlogs really carried me through, and it really means a lot.
Uh... Ah, fuck.
I don't even know why I care so much.
It's fucking stupid.
You guys have been awesome.
Thank you.
I'll be back.
It's all good.
Don't worry about me.
Brofist?
*laughs*
Yeah?
Alright.
Here it comes.
*music plays*