What's the most popular game on Steam?
"PLAYERUNKNOWN'S BATTLEGROUNDS"'
Well it must be a great game then!
it's the worst fucking game i've ever fucking play-
so the goal of the game... is out of a 100 people to be the last man standing on this fucking island.
alright, here we go.
give me a gun
oh shit
no shit (giggle)
don't shoot! D:
don't shoot, i'm innocent
I'M INNOCENT!!
I JUST WANNA HUG YOUUUUUUU
this fucking time I'm gonna fucking do it.
what the fuck is that?
*pewds dead*
*silence*
are you kIDDING M-
you guys come here often?
no?
is that MARKIPLIER?!
OHMAGERD
how do i look?
OH MY GOOOOOOOO~!
here we go
owp
shit shIT SHIT
Oh come on I was reaching for my cornflakes. C'mon
*laughs*
*corn flake package crinkles*
HHHHHHHHH
what have I DONE?
I'm so sorry *chuckles*
i got nothing i have nothing
don-
stop!
this is the fucking one.
*rapid gunfire*
hehe yeah hehe
*rapid gunfires again*
got 'em!
Oh
OOOOOOOOOO
I never even got to fucking top 30
Alright.
Here we go.
Easy.
This game is easy.
Just going to loot these Swedish fucking homes
There we go I'll take that shit
gimme that. gimme that shit boi
*loads shotgun*
I saw a bunch of people land over here
I'm literally gonna rush him
Oh *fires shotgun*
Oh I killed him?
Fucking range on the shotgun, man
GOTTEM
I'll be taking all your shit, thank you very much
That's right thank you- thank you very much
I'm still gonna rush him
Oh there's definitely someone in here
Oh shit
I can hear that fucker
Is he upstairs?
Yee
Fuck
Shit. Fuck. Ass.
Ass fuck.
What's he doing?
I'm just gonna- just gonna check uh- my emails down here don't worry about it
Just uh, making sure
Everything's fine
This is NOT camping
This is uh- making sure that staircase is safe
You never know, lot of people forget to clean out
I'm so fucked
*grenade*
*grenade blasts*
Oh shit oh shit
He's waiting for me
PLEASE DON'T HURT MEE
I'M SWEDISH
I should prolly just make him wanna kill me
I'm not camping, sht the- sht the fck up
Just making sure
He can jump off the balcony
*gasp*
YEAAA BOIII HAHAAaaa
whatchu gonna do huh
roight in the fucking head
almost at tittie
Alright what do you got on you boi?
That's right i'll be taking this and this and this
and this and this and- and
he got a fucking frying pan?
Domo arigato
*swaps weapon*
kay
Scope up.
No? Alright well fuck it.
Looks like a swedish little village doesn't it?
Mkay
Let's go out
Out into the world
*distant gunfire*
Oh shIT. SHIT. DON'T SHOOT
DON'T. Well he can't fucking aim. *giggles*
Oh shit. WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?
Where is he?
There he is. I see him. I see him. I see him. I see him
I'll scope him out
He doesn't know that I saw him
There he is. Look at him
Fucking kek
*rapid gunshots*
Okay I got one hit
FUCK. Where'd he go?
I'm gonna go around
Hopefully he doesn't expect it
Might be a stupid fucking move where is he?
C'mon CUNT
'kay
I think he's hiding
That's fine
I can smell his fear
It's in my viking blood
Oh he's in the building. He's in THE BUILDING
I think he knows I'm outside
Don't fucking see him tho
He must've heard me
I don't know what the fuck to do. What do I do?
*gasp*
There he is. Okay. Alright
Alright. Papa Pewds.. is coming for you boi
You better spread your ass for me boi
Cause I got a shotGUN
I don't wanna die now
Kay. Clear
He prolly heard me
In here?
No
*gaaasp* *shotgun blast*
*another shotgun blast*
DIE
DIEE
YEAH. GOTTEM
HELL yEAH
YOU Got FUCKED BY THE POODIEPIE
I'll take this
Hey you got Redbull
THANKY- OH A NEW VEST
Alright have that
Oooh. Nice pants
Not for me tho
WHOOOOOOOOO!
Moar ammo
Fuck I don't know where
Anything is
I saw someone. I th-
I think I did
Is he in the building again?
Yes someone's definitely in the building
Fuck me, man.
You hear that wooden floor so well
Are they fucking upstairs?
FUck. The map is getting smaller. I gotta move.
But I know he's in there
OH *brraapp*
Oh SH-
OMGOMGOMGOMG
I'M OUT. I'm out. I'm done. I'm fucking done
I'll pick my battles alright? I'll pick my fucking battles
Shut the fuck up
Did he see me?
Fuck we gotta move
Otherwise we're gonna die
Fuck. You know what?
I'm just gonna run for it
Call me a Swedish pussy
or a figget
I'm out alright?
If anything I've learned is that you gotta pick your battles, man
Sayonara mothafcka
He's probably looking for me still
asshole
*giggle*
Alright, we got a lot of running to do
Fuck. We're so far away
Gawd dammit
Oh shit.
Oh shIT.
Oh sHIT
Oh SHIT
OH SHIT
see?
AHAHAHAHA
WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE DOING?
*laughs*
What the fu-
Did he not see me?
Did he just park in front of me?
Oh I'll take that and O-Oh thank you
Ayy a police *?*
Oh look how much ammo
pffff
The fuck was that?
My character looks so fucking retarded *is he?*
Alright well thanks for the car buddy
Appreciate it
*laugh*
Ah. Fuck.
No.
Stop.
I didn't know he was your friend
I'm fuckin outta here
*distant gunfire*
STAHP SHOOTING MEEE
I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING
This feels a lot like Half Life
When you're driving that bungee or whatever
And like Russian landscapes or some shit
Except this is REAL
This is real life
I'm getting shaky, man
Alright. Let's chill here for a while
*character grunts* Oh for fucks sake
Alright we gotta move again
Circle
Circle's getting smaller
'Kay
I don't know where I should go
OH
Should I-
Eh, fuck it
FUCK IT
*maniacal laughter*
FUCK
WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING?
It was like a fucking Team Fortress character
Fuck, I really thought I would die there
That was so fucking bad
Jesus Christ *you need him*
Those are my glasses bitch *roasted*
Alright time to move again
Gotta get back into the white circle ;)
Fuck it's small now ;);););)
There's 23 people alive
I'm gonna go to the buildings
Oomf
C'mon
I wanna make at top ten at least
Then I'll be happy
I like this strategy
Just going around with a bungee
Okay
Hopefully they'll come, some people from here
Oh
Too Far
I'm playing it safe *pussy*
It's not called being a pussy *yes it is*
It's called being-
A faggo- I'm kidding *i doubt it poods*
For fucks sake
Here's someone *finally*
Fuck
Shit
Fuck
Goddamn it
C'mo- Shut up phone
I can't die now
I just can't
IT'S NOT CAMPING *pussy*
Okay?
Shaddup
I just don't wanna fucking die hehehe
Fuck. Where'd he go
Did he chicken out as well?
There he is
COME OUT AND PLAY BOI
FUCK I CAN'T AIM
GODDAMN IT
Oh fuck I gotta move
Oh shit
Oh fuck
Oh shit
Fuck. What do I do?
Oh, there he is. There he is
AIM
DIIIIIEEEEE
The fuck is he doing? *what am I doing?*
Oh my GAWD
How is he alive?
KIIIIIIILLLLLL
FUCK
I gotta blink. I'm wearing my contact lenses
SHIT
Okay I gotta move
I got 30 seconds
C'mon boi
Seven people alive
I'm going for my car
Is there any other place to fucking go?
I never m- Six people alive
I never made it this far
GOD
DAMN
BOI
I'm in the circle
Oh shit. There's a house here
Well that's my fucking house now
Thank you
Is anyone here?
I think I'm the first one
The- The circle is getting so tiny. Five people
I'm fucking closing this shit
This shop is closed boys
We serve only meatballs *you don't even have them balls XD*
And now we play the waiting game
*chuckles*
Oh it's getting s-
Oh it's already getting smaller
Shit it's tiny
The circle is sO TINY!!
I thought I heard someone
OH
Who the fok say hi to mah house? *Grove st. 2017*
Fuck, I gotta make it over there
What do I do?
I don't know where to go
I'm panicking here guys *cus ur a lil bitch*
How are there FIVE people in this TINY FUCKING AREA
Goddamn
I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared.
C'mon boi
30 seconds. SHIT
Okay I'm going
Do I take the car? What do I do?
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT
GET OUT
DON'T SHOOT MEEEEEEEEEE
AHHHHHH
UH NO. YOU GETTING FUCKED BOI
SHIT
C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon
YES
FUCK YOU
YOU SNEAKY NIBBA!
HE WAS WAITING FOR ME
That motherfu- There's 3 people alive
Oh shit it's th-
I'm drinking a fucking Redbull
There's me and one other fucking guy
In this circle right now
Out of a hundred people
I'm fucking shaking
I'm about to shit myself, bros *please don't*
He can't be behind me
He must be here somewhere
That's a rock *yes it is poods*
Look how tiny this fucking asshole is - Pewdiepie 2017
There's no way he can't be there
Fuck. What do I do?
I'm panicking
I'm gonna be so fucking pissed if I die now
I swear to fucking god *shrek*
Well I'm still in the circle
But damn it's getting tiny :|
Where is he?
Where the fuck is he?
I see him
That snek!
BaBADUM
*victory cry* YEAAAAAAAHHHHHH
BEST GAME
I'M THE BEST PLAYA ALIVE MOTHAFUCKA
THAT'S RIGHT YOU THOUGHT I COULDN'T DO IT
FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS GAME
I'M UNINSTALLING
Never playing this shit again
Fuck you