WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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*BURP*

00:00:01.760 --> 00:00:02.260
*burp*

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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What the fuck is this.

00:00:06.160 --> 00:00:06.660
*WAPOOSH*

00:00:06.720 --> 00:00:07.740
TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES.

00:00:07.740 --> 00:00:09.420
MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE AND WELCOME BACK

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*yelling*

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*WAPOOSH*

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TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES

00:00:18.380 --> 00:00:19.240
MY NAME IS JACKSEPTIC--

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*snickers*

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*pot8oes yelling*

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*laughs*

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Oh.. that's good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

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*emotional music plays*

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*crying*

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*sob*

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SQUIRREL!

00:00:33.440 --> 00:00:34.920
Where's the water when you need it..?

00:00:34.920 --> 00:00:36.080
I can't believe this..

00:00:39.760 --> 00:00:40.340
People think..

00:00:41.400 --> 00:00:42.200
..I'm ugly :(

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"U ugly."

00:00:44.240 --> 00:00:45.280
"You're ugly."

00:00:45.540 --> 00:00:47.920
"Pewdiepie is so old n ugly."

00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:51.880
Ohhh.. "You look ugly af."

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"Pls shave."

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OH NO U DIDN'T!

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Ugly..

00:00:56.200 --> 00:00:58.240
"Why you so ugly..?" (I'M HANDSOME BITCH)

00:00:58.440 --> 00:01:00.820
"Pewdiepie is so ugly my..

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HANDSSSF

00:01:02.140 --> 00:01:05.420
..are so ugly please kill me thank you."

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*PRAYS TO HARAMBE WHO DIED FOR OUR SINS*

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perfect

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UGLY

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These subtitles are Dank, but pewds looks down and doesnt approve.

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Why does everyone think I'm ugly? (Not me :3)

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Is it my gigantic nose?

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(Pewds, u beautiful)

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Is it my inflated ego?

00:01:25.020 --> 00:01:26.460
Is it my disgusting..

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..unattractive personality?

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Wait a minute..

00:01:32.020 --> 00:01:32.900
What is this?

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It's a Youtube video innit?

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Look at all these attractive people! (Why am i not fking on this)

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Look at the-- beautiful!

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I'll  never be this beautiful!

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Why was I born with this Swedish face?

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Beautiful..

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Absolutely stunning..

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So cute..!

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So cute!

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OOOOOOOOOOO (AND U SAID I WAS UGLY BISH, U WRONG!) R.I.P Headphone users

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*Heroic Music*

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EIGHTEEN

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EIGHTEEN

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EIGHTEEN NIGG- (How dare I)

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Oh, RIGHT AFTER BECKHAM, HUH?

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RIGHT AFTER BECKHAM

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Hey, why am I not number one? (Robbie Rotton confirmed)

00:02:06.420 --> 00:02:10.980
"How Zayn is at 91 and Pewdiepie is at 18 what the fuck is this."

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[...](bruh)

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C'AUSE ZAYN, YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT~~(Roasting Zayn)

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EIGHTEEN, HUH?

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*laughing*

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"Pewdiepie 18 ? ?? ? ? ? XDXDXDXD"

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For fuck's sake..

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Okay?

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That's right haters, I'm fucking beautiful.

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And you know, I get it.

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You guys-- you guys get jealous.

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..of how you look.

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I get it, but you know!

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I have many talents, not beyond my beautiful face. (If u know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

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*laughs*

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I'm joking. Okay?

00:02:47.240 --> 00:02:48.080
Not really.

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At all.

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I'm not joking.

00:02:49.820 --> 00:02:53.540
Alright, so I realize that you guys many need a little bit of help.

00:02:53.540 --> 00:02:55.880
And, uh, you know, I'm pretty good with Photoshop!

00:02:56.120 --> 00:02:57.920
So, I'll take some requests!

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I'll try to help you guys feel better about yourself.

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'Cause I want you to feel just as fulfilled as..

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..as, uh, as I am.

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I wanna satisfy you bros.

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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Let's go!

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"Pewdiepie, give me a mouth!"

00:03:11.620 --> 00:03:13.620
 

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'Kay, well that should be easy.

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(Challenge accepted)

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TIMEWARP!!!!!!

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Wow! That--

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That looks so good..!

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You're welcome! (Why did i choose a shark idk im meme)

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I don't know why you didn't have a mouth, but now you do.

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Just don't eat that pussayy.. Its for me

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"Pewdiepie, make me emo."

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Alright.

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I can do that.

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Alright, done!

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We're-- alright-- we're done here.

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ROASTED (Ight whos next bitches)

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Alright, what else do we got?

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"My dream is to look like a washing machine."

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Okay.

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That can be arranged.

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TIMEWARP!!!

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Das a nice washing machine Dawg!

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Alright, then we just gotta--

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Make it real big.

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Make it real-- real pop. (What am i doing)

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Oh god.

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We're-- There you go!

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You're a washing machine!

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You're welcome!

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I make peoples' dreams come true, dammit.

00:04:41.960 --> 00:04:43.560
I think you look way better..

00:04:43.740 --> 00:04:44.240
..before.

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"Make me into tentacle porn please."

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Fine.

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Fine! Alright!

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You know, I wouldn't criticize other--

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My fans' physical appearance but I--

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These eyebrows..

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They look like a race track! (ZOOM ZOOM BISH)

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*Pewds making a masterpiece as always*

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It kind of reminds me of the eyebrows of Brock.

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*akward silence*

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Should they connect? I think they should.

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*Pewds concentraiting hard*

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ANIMUUUUUU!!!
(◕‿◕✿) so kawaii!!!

00:05:33.340 --> 00:05:36.100
You-- Your freckles though does remind me..

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They remind me a little bit of an octopus.

00:05:38.040 --> 00:05:40.880
You know, they have the same kind of octopus skin texture.

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Her wish was, in fact, to be a tentacle porn.

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So.

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Who am I to rob her of that?

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Privilege.

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Okay, there you go.

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You're a tentacle porn.

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Just get the fuck out now.

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Fuck's sake.

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DISGUSTING

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*chuckling* Oh, that's how she looked like. I forgot.

00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:16.480
"Make Phil more beautiful. Oh wait. You can't. He's perfect."

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Oh, I'm sorry.

00:06:18.520 --> 00:06:22.880
Is Phil ranked eighteen on 2016's list?! [he should be] {now, now, this issue should be left for Tumblr, not YouTube}

00:06:24.900 --> 00:06:26.020
Didn't think so.

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Alright, Phil.

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You wanna be beautiful?

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I'll make you beautiful. (Okay im lying)

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I'll make you fucking gorgeous. (Lies x2)

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Oh no[se]! Where did your nose go, Phil?

00:06:47.580 --> 00:06:48.080
Huh?

00:06:48.320 --> 00:06:49.800
Where did it go?

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Butiful!!!

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Eye see watcha doing there!
 (Get it? no? OK, I'll cry myself to sleep)

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Uh. Phil.

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More like Nose Face!! (ROASTED)

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BOOM

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Oh no.. ho ho

00:07:07.560 --> 00:07:09.420
OHO ho ho oho

00:07:09.900 --> 00:07:11.480
Oh damn, dog!

00:07:11.760 --> 00:07:14.220
Damn, those are some nostrils, man!

00:07:14.620 --> 00:07:17.300
Dude, where you get those nostrils done?

00:07:19.340 --> 00:07:20.380
I think we should move on.

00:07:20.840 --> 00:07:26.420
"Make Jacksepticeye look betterer he already looks better than you anyways." (okay ur totally right)

00:07:26.420 --> 00:07:27.360
Oh, I'm sorry!

00:07:27.360 --> 00:07:29.780
Is Jack on the top list?

00:07:30.180 --> 00:07:32.040
I don't think so.

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M'alright. Let's see what we can do, Jack. (Holy SHIT THIS IS BOOTIFUL)

00:07:43.220 --> 00:07:43.780
*burps*

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CUTE

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CUTE

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*singing* I would fuck that guy in the ass.. (whaaaaa..?)

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TAHAHAHAHAHAHA

00:07:56.260 --> 00:07:56.840
 

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*wheezes* (im copying nigahiga's style of wheezing)

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IT'S SO CUTEEE
(◕‿◕✿) (kawaii pot8oe man)

00:08:02.760 --> 00:08:04.040
 

00:08:04.040 --> 00:08:04.720
AHA

00:08:06.860 --> 00:08:07.920
Oh! It makes me cringe!

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It's so fucking weird!

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*WAPEWSH*

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*WAPOOSH*

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TOP OF THE MORNING TO YOU LADDIES

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MY NAME IS

00:08:18.600 --> 00:08:20.260
(Video unavailable, content claimed by South park)

00:08:20.260 --> 00:08:22.540
PEEEEWWWWRG

00:08:22.540 --> 00:08:26.480
PEEEERGH (wait how did i get here)

00:08:26.880 --> 00:08:28.200
Okay, sorry.

00:08:28.840 --> 00:08:30.940
Got a little side-tracked there again.

00:08:31.320 --> 00:08:34.120
"Your face on Kazoo kid's body."

00:08:34.600 --> 00:08:37.580
*sighs* Oh, the Kazoo kid which I apparently look like?

00:08:37.580 --> 00:08:38.580
*whispers* Shut the fuck up.

00:08:38.680 --> 00:08:41.460
Yeah, I'll prove that I'm not the Kazoo kid.

00:08:41.460 --> 00:08:42.580
Once and for all.

00:08:42.580 --> 00:08:44.580
 

00:08:51.940 --> 00:08:52.540
Wait a minute.

00:08:52.740 --> 00:08:53.240
*burps*

00:08:53.540 --> 00:08:54.040
Oh.

00:08:55.440 --> 00:08:55.940
My.

00:08:58.380 --> 00:08:58.880
God.

00:09:00.180 --> 00:09:01.360
No. *laughs*

00:09:01.360 --> 00:09:02.400
No. It can't be.

00:09:03.340 --> 00:09:04.460
It can't be.

00:09:04.460 --> 00:09:06.260
OH MY GAWD *chuckles*

00:09:06.260 --> 00:09:08.580
I've been suppressing the memories for so long. (lol im smoking :D)

00:09:09.100 --> 00:09:11.280
Oh my god. How could I have forgotten?

00:09:11.680 --> 00:09:12.960
Where I came from..
(Sweden duhhh)

00:09:13.400 --> 00:09:13.900
My roots.

00:09:15.140 --> 00:09:16.740
I am.. Kazoo kid.

00:09:17.140 --> 00:09:19.300
I will always be.. Kazoo kid.

00:09:19.300 --> 00:09:20.500
And I'm proud of it, dammit.

00:09:22.300 --> 00:09:23.020
[thud]

00:09:23.340 --> 00:09:25.040
I like to sing..

00:09:25.860 --> 00:09:26.780
dance..

00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:28.620
AND

00:09:28.920 --> 00:09:31.080
[kazoo playing]

00:09:31.080 --> 00:09:33.220
KAAA ZOOO

00:09:33.540 --> 00:09:37.300
[more kazoo playing]

00:09:37.300 --> 00:09:40.360
JUST KAZOO IT (or just do it which ever one you prefer)

00:09:40.360 --> 00:09:50.100
[kazooing continues]

00:09:53.400 --> 00:09:54.520
[Edgar] Alright guys. (Oi Edgar :D)

00:09:54.520 --> 00:09:56.000
[Edgar]: Since Poods is dead now.. (Y?)

00:09:56.800 --> 00:09:59.620
[Edgar] Please-- I've taken over the channel. Again.

00:09:59.920 --> 00:10:03.280
[Edgar] Please check out the video over here for more videos.

00:10:03.280 --> 00:10:06.540
[Edagr]: So I can get adsense for Pewdiepie.

00:10:06.540 --> 00:10:09.180
[Edgar] I hope you enjoyed this video, I guess.

00:10:09.620 --> 00:10:12.420
[Edgar] And I'll see you.. in the next one!

00:10:12.640 --> 00:10:14.720
[Edgar] Goodbye now! Goodbye!

00:10:15.140 --> 00:10:16.920
[Edgar] Buh buh bye! (And us subtitle ppl say bye bye too :D)