*Pewds trying to be Jake Paul*
DAB ON THEM HATERS!
*REPEATING SATAN'S PRAYER*
Hey, how's it going bros?
my name is PEWDIEPIE! Jake- I'm a Jake Pauler now
me and Jake; full disclosure, have talk in the DMs
we are friends now, okay?
for- for real I did speak to Jake
after I did my video, the first one
and he seems like an alright dude (sure thing bruh) while talking to him
I was like this guy is not so bad, but now
the world seems to be after my man,
Jake Paul, JP; and I'm not okay with it
cause I'm a Jake Pauler, danmit;okay?
you guys don't understand, the dab on them haters
I'm sure all you guys know all
the stuff that's going on, for some reason
what everyone's talking about. Personally I couldn't care less, okay?
i'd rather learn how to say the name of
all the pokemons backwards and what their mothers' and fathers' name was
and their ancestry, okay?
I'd rather memorise all that shit
but for some reasons, I know all this shit that's going on
I have found something that will shock you
okay?
we're gonna get there, but first, in case you don't know
what's going on, I need to fill you guys in
my wahmen, JP, he's a prankster
he's an absolute savage
he plays crazy pranks on the people in his house
the people in his life, and that's
just savage and if you don't like in you can dab away
*jumpscare*
NO NO NO NO NO
don't do it to Nick Crampton, my man
the only person I love more than Jake, is Nick
don't do it! don't do it!
*SNORLAX ATTACK* KILL HIM! FUCK HIM UP!FUCK HIM UP NICK!
he died, he died everyone (AMEN) okay let's get to the point
there's been this news report that came out about Jake
I'm sure you've seen it
in case you haven't, let's watch
* news footage of a group of apes that escaped from a zoo*
he said sociopath? hahha
how is he not kick- wait - he rents it? he rents the house?
How is he not kicked out? how? I got kick out for being loud for
like five minutes TWICE, I've been kicked out three times
how the hell do you do it Jake?
see that's my man, Jake
he knows how to not get kick out , I'm not on that level
auh why does he talk like that? *pewds cringe*
that word just completely - it died with that girl
HOW? how is he not kicked out? I don't want-
I don't want him to get kicked out but how in the fuck is he not kicked out?
Jesus Christ!
do they live there everyday...bro?
*pewds so proud of his pun*
I feel like I'm getting sick again, it's coming
OH, there's no way-
there's no way it can get worst
I don't know how to respond to this
I am so overwhelmed with the cringe
it's like the meme was dead before it even began
I remember first hearing it and "oh, that's a joke? okay that's cool."
so after this news media thing came out
Jake Paul decides to do the noble thing
and apologize to his neighbors
but you can't
film people in Los Angeles without their consent
it's very strict rules around there
I'm sure Jake didn't know , but at the same time,
neighbors file eavesdropping complaint
against Jake Paul says
JP secretly recorded conversation during apology
so there's clearly this whole thing going on between the neighbors
they don't like him
Jake Paul is just dabbing on them
then the unthinkable happens
the team 10 bus
got destroyed on the freeway
and here's Jake Paul suspicion
* a bowl of old overcooked ramen talking *
Jake, you do realize that
this potential homicide- you know
if they actually tried to kill you, you need to call the cops
it's not a meme after that,
you can't
if someone takes the screws out of your tires
you have to (even Pewds can't help the level of stupidity )
that's potential murder
I know people gone to jail for murder for doing that
you can't just
get away
that's not bragging material anymore, that's some serious fucking shit
if that's true , but I have
some evidence
to speak differently, Jake, I need to look after you
I can't hold this information back any longer
now I know you have some drama with your brother, Logan Paul
Jake Paul posted this picture of Logan Paul
when he was younger , when he went through an emo phase
Logan Paul, shakingly angry, made
a diss track as a response
where he made out with Jake Paul's
ex girlfriend, let's watch
*cringe attack*
oh my god
I don't know what's worst, the fact that he did it
or the fact that he thinks it's cool
like, I know there's the whole bro code
or whatever , you're not supposed to go with the same girl
I never gave a shit about that , I think it's stupid
like who gives a shit but it's his brother
okay?
and the fact that he think it's cool to get his ex girlfriend and
"fake kiss" on a music video is so fucking cringe
*another cringe seizure*
that's almost as bad as
kissing the same girl as your dad
like who the fuck would do that?
OH NO!
do you imagine kissing the same girl as your dad?
that's just so fucking weird, so fucking weird
oh god
fuck
that's so fucking weird, I don't
can you imagine being the dad
fuck man , I don't , sorry let's go back to
okay, their car got crashed , okay?
the neighbors tried to kill them and what was -
but no one is paying attention to Logan Paul's response
let's watch
GO BACK ON THAT ONE! WHAT DID HE SAY?
take the log knots out of the wheels of his car
take the log knots out out of the wheels of his car!
he should take- the neighbors
the neighbors should do it
again!
JAKE PAUL
YOUR BROTHER IS TRYING TO KILL YOU!
there's something fishy here, okay?
Logan Paul tried to kill his brother, I have solid evidence right here
that's very interesting
THAT'S GOD DAMN RIGHT JP!
FAKE NEWS MEDIA
what is this timeline? Jake Paul is talking about
fake news
Jake Paul
isn't all brat, it has been confirmed not (((ourguy)))
he's talking about fake news
and if you're not convinced yet, keep watching
up into the right
the right!
up and it's going up into the right
Jake Paul confirmed Nazi!
I knew it , I knew it!
my man JP confirmed Nazi and
if you don't think so yet
Jake Paul exits Disney Channel's "Bizaardvark"
mid-season, Jake Paul got fired from Disney!
Jake Paul, I'd never thought I would say theses words
welcome to the family, come here buddy!
come to daddy! YEAH BOY!
I'm proud of you, son! God damn proud of you boy!