WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:00.500 So.. 00:00:01.200 --> 00:00:02.120 I'm gonna become... 00:00:02.380 --> 00:00:02.880 (clap) 00:00:02.980 --> 00:00:03.760 ..a bartender! 00:00:03.760 --> 00:00:08.760 (dramatic music) + (montage) 00:00:08.980 --> 00:00:11.240 Here we go. The first drink, everybody! 00:00:11.540 --> 00:00:12.580 The first tri- 00:00:12.900 --> 00:00:13.400 (burps) 00:00:13.660 --> 00:00:14.260 Jesus! 00:00:14.340 --> 00:00:14.840 What happened? 00:00:14.900 --> 00:00:16.480 First drink is whiskey. 00:00:17.140 --> 00:00:19.280 All right, now. I'm not a stranger to whiskey. 00:00:20.800 --> 00:00:21.480 Oh shit! 00:00:22.300 --> 00:00:24.300 Holy shit! I'm fucking good at this, boy. 00:00:26.060 --> 00:00:27.200 (groans) 00:00:28.180 --> 00:00:30.080 I'm pouring into my eyes. 00:00:30.860 --> 00:00:32.860 My eyes! It should be burning.. 00:00:35.060 --> 00:00:36.420 Look at this bottle flip though... 00:00:37.040 --> 00:00:37.640 Woah! 00:00:39.680 --> 00:00:40.760 Bottle flipping me.. 00:00:41.360 --> 00:00:42.140 Woah! 00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:43.520 Woah! 00:00:44.040 --> 00:00:45.600 Oh my god! 00:00:47.280 --> 00:00:49.280 Is bottle flipping still cool? 00:00:51.160 --> 00:00:52.220 Fuck you! 00:00:58.260 --> 00:00:58.760 Yes! 00:00:59.360 --> 00:00:59.960 Hell yeah! 00:01:00.100 --> 00:01:01.000 Did you see that? 00:01:02.060 --> 00:01:02.820 Did you guys? 00:01:03.400 --> 00:01:06.060 (cricket noise) 00:01:06.340 --> 00:01:08.120 Okay, all right. Who wants a whiskey. 00:01:08.620 --> 00:01:09.760 All right. We grab a glass. 00:01:11.220 --> 00:01:11.920 Excellent. 00:01:12.460 --> 00:01:14.080 I.. you looking thirsty, bo-! 00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:16.680 Okay, that's great, but... 00:01:17.100 --> 00:01:17.720 Good game. 00:01:17.720 --> 00:01:19.540 Good game, everyone. All right you want ice? 00:01:20.180 --> 00:01:21.240 What are you fucking gay? 00:01:21.240 --> 00:01:22.020 Who adds whiskey..? 00:01:22.360 --> 00:01:24.060 Who adds ice to your whiskey? 00:01:24.360 --> 00:01:25.720 You want some? *spits* 00:01:26.060 --> 00:01:28.320 Want anything else to ruin a perfectly good drink? 00:01:28.320 --> 00:01:29.300 All right, next one! 00:01:29.620 --> 00:01:30.640 Vodka on the rocks. 00:01:30.840 --> 00:01:33.860 Excellent choice, my friend! We got some vodka. 00:01:34.300 --> 00:01:35.100 Right here! 00:01:36.300 --> 00:01:37.460 With ice.. 00:01:39.200 --> 00:01:40.080 .. and a lemon! 00:01:41.700 --> 00:01:43.180 I meant a lemon. 00:01:45.560 --> 00:01:47.120 Whoa! That was cool? 00:01:47.980 --> 00:01:50.640 Yeah, this is cool. I like this. 00:01:50.760 --> 00:01:52.740 Now.. I'm going to make the same drink... 00:01:53.260 --> 00:01:54.800 ... in real life! 00:01:55.040 --> 00:01:56.080 Let's see how it goes... 00:01:56.380 --> 00:01:57.240 Okay... 00:01:57.460 --> 00:01:58.320 Here we go. 00:01:58.540 --> 00:01:59.520 My first drink... 00:01:59.740 --> 00:02:00.760 Vodka tonic. 00:02:01.180 --> 00:02:02.180 I won't be needing this... 00:02:02.880 --> 00:02:03.380 (clap) 00:02:03.380 --> 00:02:04.860 Now, first of all we got to get... 00:02:05.460 --> 00:02:06.080 ... the glass... 00:02:06.080 --> 00:02:07.560 ... which are over here! 00:02:10.820 --> 00:02:11.320 Yes! 00:02:12.220 --> 00:02:13.380 Got my glass. 00:02:13.740 --> 00:02:14.640 Hell yeah! 00:02:15.200 --> 00:02:15.700 What up? 00:02:16.400 --> 00:02:17.420 There we go. That's... 00:02:18.360 --> 00:02:20.640 Now, let me just get that one guy that is over... 00:02:21.340 --> 00:02:22.160 ... here.. 00:02:24.020 --> 00:02:25.060 Is it the vodka? 00:02:25.380 --> 00:02:26.120 I think it is... 00:02:26.220 --> 00:02:27.040 It feels like uh... 00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:28.340 Yes! 00:02:28.340 --> 00:02:28.840 That's vod- 00:02:34.580 --> 00:02:35.240 It smells... 00:02:35.420 --> 00:02:36.160 ... smells nice. 00:02:36.380 --> 00:02:36.880 Now... 00:02:36.880 --> 00:02:39.280 ... lemme add- just pour three ounces... 00:02:39.280 --> 00:02:40.580 ... of uhh.. vodka! 00:02:41.640 --> 00:02:42.280 For you. 00:02:49.180 --> 00:02:50.160 There you go. 00:02:50.720 --> 00:02:51.320 What's that? 00:02:51.780 --> 00:02:52.880 Is that enough for you, sir? 00:02:54.260 --> 00:02:56.260 Okay, lemme just get some ice! 00:02:59.000 --> 00:03:00.700 Let me try that again. 00:03:01.980 --> 00:03:02.900 Where is this glass? 00:03:03.020 --> 00:03:03.740 There it is! 00:03:05.540 --> 00:03:07.680 Let me get some of that tonic for you, boy! 00:03:10.380 --> 00:03:11.440 What's that vodka tonic? 00:03:12.800 --> 00:03:13.300 Where? 00:03:14.360 --> 00:03:15.080 There you go... 00:03:16.340 --> 00:03:18.340 And... serve, please! 00:03:23.160 --> 00:03:24.680 That looks pretty good. 00:03:28.160 --> 00:03:29.380 It's pretty good actually. 00:03:31.660 --> 00:03:33.280 Oh shit! Wait actually... 00:03:33.880 --> 00:03:35.620 How could I forget about? 00:03:38.980 --> 00:03:39.480 The lime. 00:03:40.320 --> 00:03:41.320 The fresh lime. 00:03:42.440 --> 00:03:44.440 So much better with a nice slice of lime. 00:03:45.500 --> 00:03:46.240 Or orange. 00:03:53.540 --> 00:03:54.980 It's always better when I make it. 00:03:55.400 --> 00:03:57.400 It's kind of a cool chill game. I actually like it. 00:04:00.940 --> 00:04:03.100 You know I used to work at a bartender once. 00:04:05.480 --> 00:04:07.360 I say "once" because I was never hired again. 00:04:09.820 --> 00:04:12.400 Whiskey cola coming right up, my man! 00:04:12.400 --> 00:04:14.800 Let me just get me a glass. 00:04:15.560 --> 00:04:18.540 A glass that I keep, keep right here. 00:04:19.460 --> 00:04:20.180 There we go... 00:04:20.180 --> 00:04:21.200 Oh, it's the wrong one. 00:04:21.200 --> 00:04:21.700 Is it? 00:04:21.700 --> 00:04:22.560 No, that's perfect. 00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:23.620 Alright. 00:04:26.340 --> 00:04:26.840 What's... 00:04:27.280 --> 00:04:28.240 What's cracking, y'all? 00:04:28.600 --> 00:04:30.060 Is this making anyone anxious? 00:04:30.200 --> 00:04:30.940 I think yes. 00:04:30.940 --> 00:04:32.560 Okay, let me get that whiskey! 00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:34.100 Hey! 00:04:35.400 --> 00:04:36.920 Whoa, whoa, what's happened? 00:04:37.800 --> 00:04:38.840 Okay, we're fine. Now... 00:04:39.680 --> 00:04:41.800 Just uuh how much you want three ounces? 00:04:42.860 --> 00:04:44.240 Three ounces of whiskey 00:04:45.040 --> 00:04:49.640 Now, I'm not really a fan of mix-mixing with Cola, but you know you gotta... 00:04:49.980 --> 00:04:50.540 You got to do... 00:04:51.320 --> 00:04:52.580 ... what you got to do all right? 00:04:54.500 --> 00:04:56.100 There you go. Now let's just get... 00:04:56.780 --> 00:04:57.340 what... 00:04:57.980 --> 00:05:00.300 Now, let's just get the coca-cola! 00:05:00.300 --> 00:05:02.300 (end of my sub) 00:05:07.080 --> 00:05:10.640 You want ice with that boy? I got you 00:05:19.300 --> 00:05:26.880 Whiskey cola coming, right, this just an excuse for me to drink 00:05:34.660 --> 00:05:38.400 ("CHUG,CHUG,CHUG" slowly getting louder) 00:05:39.360 --> 00:05:41.360 All right 00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:50.180 Here we go, another drink everyone that's exciting a gin on the rocks 00:05:50.940 --> 00:05:55.240 Hey, we got some nice hennigan gin, hell yeah. 00:05:55.560 --> 00:05:57.560 woah,woah,woah,woah,what are you- 00:05:58.320 --> 00:06:00.320 OH MY GOD,OH 00:06:01.300 --> 00:06:02.920 What are the odds? 00:06:02.920 --> 00:06:04.920 What are the odds? 00:06:05.950 --> 00:06:08.580 I legit wonder if I can juggle in VR 00:06:11.680 --> 00:06:14.360 The answer is no.The answer is no, everyone. 00:06:14.360 --> 00:06:16.860 okay? All [right] here we go vodka on- 00:06:17.180 --> 00:06:19.960 What?It changed?Ah,fucks sake 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:23.240 Okay, here's the gin on the rocks 00:06:30.220 --> 00:06:31.540 Perfect. *BELCH* 00:06:31.580 --> 00:06:34.140 wHO WANTS a GIN ON THE ROCKS? 00:06:38.080 --> 00:06:41.460 [i'm] Burping a lot, okay here We go. Let me just get that glass 00:06:44.650 --> 00:06:46.650 Being a bartender is awesome 00:06:47.160 --> 00:06:52.820 It's the best. all right let me just get my gin. It's exactly where I want it. So fuck 00:06:53.340 --> 00:06:54.640 Is this the gin? 00:06:55.380 --> 00:06:56.000 It's the gin 00:06:56.320 --> 00:06:56.820 Okay 00:06:58.320 --> 00:07:02.360 Let me just pour that for you. You want anything else with that boy? 00:07:04.680 --> 00:07:07.140 Don't worry about it. Don't worry 'bout it. 00:07:09.310 --> 00:07:11.310 Want some ice? 00:07:12.700 --> 00:07:15.509 No, I got you fam. Don't worry about it 00:07:16.360 --> 00:07:19.319 here you go, gin on the.. gin on the rocks or 00:07:20.500 --> 00:07:22.500 gin on the rock 00:07:22.750 --> 00:07:28.649 This has been my pleasure, My name ahhh JeEeeEff, and uhh thank you for watching 00:07:30.010 --> 00:07:36.869 You ever want to come by the poodiepie bar just hit me up on Craigslist. I, I come, I do parties 00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:42.509 Every Wednesday, and if you guys want to leave a like and support my patreon 00:07:43.020 --> 00:07:45.540 for a chance to become an alcoholic 00:07:46.900 --> 00:07:51.240 hit me up and reach out to my agent his name is 00:07:51.620 --> 00:07:52.120 aa 00:07:52.120 --> 00:07:53.220 *sensual lips moves* 00:07:53.620 --> 00:07:55.620 Jeff