WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: zh-TW

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如果你...如果你曾經在現實生活中看到我

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快逃

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逃得越快越好

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因為如果你曾看過我

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你可能會覺得這很有趣

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很興奮或很爽。別想歪了

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忘了它 好嗎?  回歸正題我最大的秘密是~

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沒有人會知道我最大的秘密

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是...

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“iDubbbz 片段”

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NOOOஇдஇ

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我只是有點笨拙

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這對我來說挺痛苦

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這對我們來說都很痛苦 好嗎?

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所以如果你假裝沒有看到我

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事情會比較好 好嗎?

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就是... 不要跟我眼神接觸

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不 要 跟 我 四 目 相 交

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這不是我很有優越感之類的

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它只是為了不讓我們都受傷

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你可能會覺得 “他太誇張了啦哈哈哈哈哈哈”

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我很笨拙

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今天我們來在大家面前檢查PewDiePie

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他是百年難得一見的珍品

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抱歉，我可以借一下嗎

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(反正就是 嗯)

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(關於Pewdiepie的這件事是)

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(讓人彆扭到爆)

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(我認為自己像是種， 呃...)

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(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

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(我不知道他是累了還是怎樣)

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(但我從他的影片得知)

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(對他的印象，他是個)

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(真的很幽默 像是現實中的狂人)

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我看不下去了 你為什麼....(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

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你是什​​麼意思? 我很彆扭???

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哩洗勒公蝦?

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不好笑? 你.... 我不夠有趣?

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抱歉 很抱歉 你說什麼?

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(但他是個很成熟從容的人)

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(我想這樣挺不錯的 就只是有點彆扭)

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(而且我在VidCon的時候真的很幸運...)

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我很淡定 好嗎? 真的很淡定那種

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我一直都是這樣 這就是Pewdiepie主打的特點

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才會所有人都訂閱我 告訴他們!

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(你是納粹的一員)

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為什麼你他媽的從來沒有告訴他們我要的 -

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你在這幹嘛? 你在這幹嘛?!(┛`д´)┛

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好吧 我們來看看他怎麼講他遇到的其他人

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(有點像是用故事)

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(和背景動畫 而且他)

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(超級好笑 還有)

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喔喔喔喔喔 Swoozie是"超好笑"(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

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Swoozie超好笑的 你有聽見嗎??

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(他超大隻的 就是)

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(快看!這使我和我女友看起來超小一隻)

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(我沒想到他居然會這麼大一個)

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(但 對 他也超極無敵酷的)

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(我喜歡這傢伙)

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Vitaly超酷(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

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但是PEWDIEPIE  呃呃呃呃呃呃呃(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

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呃呃呃

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別! 好 我們來看其他的 我確定

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"我蠻確定" 哈哈哈 我蠻確定這只是暫時的

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(你好嗎?)

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Pewds: 不錯啊
(很開心能看到你欸老兄!)

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Pewds: 我也很高興能見到你

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(這太難以置信了 我無法 這太狂了)

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(我可以抱抱你嗎?)
Pewds: 好 好啊

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*笑聲*
(ㄛ我的老天啊~~~~~)

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(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

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是啊 看我多淡定

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告訴他們 Danny 看看那些人

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(這太棒了兄弟)

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你看我有多自在

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Pewds: 那是你的嗎?
(對啊)

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(Pewds: BigAirMedia)
(嗯 媒體)

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我很淡定 真的

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我整個很冷靜啊  算了隨便我不在乎

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我們來看看其他的公開場合

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看看我正在演講

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(我也有別的事要做)

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(所以我真的想確保每部影片)

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(都是能娛樂大眾的 所以....)

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Felix你講的超棒

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他居然想要每部影片都很好玩

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而且他還一天出兩部影片(;◉∀◉)

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(我同時也在做些不一樣的)

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(有很多人都在做同類型的事)

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(我會玩比較不紅的遊戲)

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(像sumotori dreams)

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嘿耶最近怎麼樣啊*扭手*

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PewDiePie要告訴大家*扭扭手*

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關於YouTube和遊戲的事*扭扭扭手*

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你只要玩當個創世神之類的就能爆紅

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沒有人在那裡? 我一個人?

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我一個人在那欸 我是在對誰講話?

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(在家嗎? 錄實況影片?)

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(Pewds: 喔喔 我有實況過 這很容易)

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*尷尬笑*

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*扶額* 喔老天直接打爆我的頭吧拜託

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這裡有槍嗎? 我身邊一直有帶著槍啊

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我不該是唯一覺得自己以前很蠢的人啊

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好嗎?

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ooh 這好沉默

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(yeah)

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*蹙眉* 喔天哪

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*乾到不行*

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哦我的天

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*超尷尬*

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(yeah?)

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喔喔喔喔喔喔 *笑* 這是三小?????

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哦對 我有上過一次瑞典的電視台 糟了

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那是我一個月有三千萬瀏覽數的時候

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可愛的Felix 30000000 ♥

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(好了今天影片就差不多到這邊)

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(如果喜歡這部影片可以幫我點個喜歡)

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(明天見bros! Byehi!)

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哦天哪

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你到底是有什麼毛病啊(x2)

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*笑*

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2012的DreamHack

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那年就像 你要我做啥我都說好

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"你要我去西班牙談事情?"

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"好啊我都好" 天殺的

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"你想要我表演和玩遊戲? 好啊我都好"

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"那點子真的棒透了!" 所以基本上

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我只知道我要去玩DreamHack

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並不知道我會在舞台上出現

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他們一副"你就先上台,"

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"然後娛樂這些人而已"

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"你不會怎樣的"

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如果你要上台現身 應該要事先準備

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我不管你是誰或你要做什麼

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就是他媽的要準備過

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我什麼都沒準備啊

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我在唱歌嗎?

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我在唱歌...

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為什麼有人會看這東西?

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我感覺像是

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"嘿如果我帶別人來就不會這麼尷尬了"

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(*唱A Thousand Miles*)

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(*唱歌*)

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*嘆息* 這好痛苦 這是折磨

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(全部講話糊在一起啦)

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(到底是在講什麼)

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你不懂我有多痛苦

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我一直爆汗餒

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我居然會玩Happy Wheels

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我居然會玩Happy Wheels(x2)

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哦天哪 天哪

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這真的很尷尬啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

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也有幾次我以為出門去很棒

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但我看這些影片越多次

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我越感覺這點子爛透了

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這段影片在講 我以為

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出門去跟別人brofist會很好玩

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(一直被拒絕) 哦這到現在

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還是很傷我的心 而且我還記得

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當時這讓我多尷尬和受挫

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起碼跟這他媽的笨影片比啦

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我覺得這兩者是不一樣的

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就是在我和PewDiePie之間

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當我在當Pewdiepie的時候

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就是不太能做某些事 就是

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雖然這比較形容得很爛 但是

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這就像你穿上超人裝的時候

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這是完全不一樣的啊

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一大堆人會一副

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"你一出門就一直乾自己"

00:08:12.960 --> 00:08:15.030
"你怎麼盡做些丟臉的事"

00:08:15.030 --> 00:08:17.310
這是不一樣的

00:08:17.310 --> 00:08:19.920
這不能並提 當你變成另外一個人的時候

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就像在演戲 自己就像是演員

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為什麼我他媽的在對一張畫揮手?

00:08:35.380 --> 00:08:40.300
你到底有啥毛病? 哦 我知道了

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我知道是誰會向畫揮手了

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(Pewwwdiepie brofist) 哦天哪

00:08:53.440 --> 00:08:59.680
到底我有什麼問題啊啊啊இдஇ

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我根本不配

00:09:02.170 --> 00:09:04.540
我不該站在這裡 你不懂啦

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我他媽只是隨便一個瑞典死書呆

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碰巧變成最大的youtuber

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這根本不應該發生

00:09:10.990 --> 00:09:13.810
都是時空秩序錯亂害的

00:09:13.810 --> 00:09:17.440
有人在時空旅行的時候

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一定搞壞什麼鬼了

00:09:19.390 --> 00:09:35.470
因為我很明顯就不該在這

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哦我記得

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我一副沒聽到你說啥的樣子

00:09:46.810 --> 00:09:48.490
所以 如果你曾見過我

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沒要冒犯的意思 我當然也想見你

00:09:51.819 --> 00:09:54.490
但去別的地方吧 好嗎

00:09:54.490 --> 00:09:59.319
然後快叫救命

00:09:59.319 --> 00:10:01.029
如果你喜歡這部影片

00:10:01.029 --> 00:10:02.500
我希望這是有教育意義的

00:10:02.500 --> 00:10:05.019
好好思考我講的每一個字

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*唱歌*

00:10:14.860 --> 00:10:18.370
*唱歌*

00:10:18.370 --> 00:10:27.100
*唱歌*

00:10:27.100 --> 00:10:39.569
*大走音*