WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.100 ( comment section) Hey pOOdS yOu SHoUld pLAY CoMEdy niGHt tHat wiLL be ReALly fUnNY 00:00:04.780 --> 00:00:05.880 SHUT UP 00:00:06.020 --> 00:00:08.140 I played it, this game is garbAge 00:00:08.820 --> 00:00:10.140 I'll show-ok-i'll show you 00:00:10.140 --> 00:00:12.140 look. look 00:00:12.140 --> 00:00:12.740 Ok? 00:00:12.840 --> 00:00:13.580 Just look 00:00:13.580 --> 00:00:17.580 You go in, and there's these fucking guys 00:00:19.140 --> 00:00:21.140 What is this? 00:00:21.280 --> 00:00:23.280 SHUT UPPP (btw to show u how much cancer they are the name Ayağım Kaşıning means my foot itches and although in Turkish present continuous tense is -yor suffix,he is using English -ing and finding this funny :( ) 00:00:23.860 --> 00:00:25.300 How do I speak? (btw to show u how much cancer they are the name Ayağım Kaşıning means my foot itches and although in Turkish present continuous tense is -yor suffix,he is using English -ing and finding this funny :( ) 00:00:25.300 --> 00:00:28.439 Hey, listen-listen, Shut the fuck up 00:00:28.960 --> 00:00:36.059 Get off the stage, put on a shirt- No shut up, get off, get off the stage, you suck 00:00:37.020 --> 00:00:38.400 You suck 00:00:38.540 --> 00:00:40.780 You're about as funny as a celery 00:00:41.440 --> 00:00:43.120 Legit fam, get off... 00:00:43.460 --> 00:00:44.860 Get off the stage 00:00:44.880 --> 00:00:45.680 Guy: Shut the fuck u- 00:00:45.680 --> 00:00:50.960 *interrupted by pewds* You shut the fuck up, I'm not gonna listen to this put on a shirt and get a job, go home 00:00:53.560 --> 00:00:55.560 *Pewds Kicked* 00:00:55.560 --> 00:01:02.280 *Pewds laughs xD* 00:01:02.280 --> 00:01:02.920 *I'm proud of this* 00:01:02.920 --> 00:01:09.480 Augh What the fuck is wrong with you, what is wrong with you! get off the staaaaage 00:01:09.480 --> 00:01:10.580 Guy: Shut up- 00:01:10.720 --> 00:01:12.720 *Pewds* YOU shut uuuup 00:01:13.000 --> 00:01:14.280 UGLY GLASSES 00:01:14.740 --> 00:01:19.680 You look so stupid-- ay ayay ayayyay 00:01:20.100 --> 00:01:25.060 Don't say the n-word, I will fight all of you. I will f- goddamit 00:01:26.840 --> 00:01:27.920 *Kicked again* 00:01:28.000 --> 00:01:33.100 How dare you kick me out! you kick me out one more time, and I swear to God I will go up on stage 00:01:33.340 --> 00:01:39.100 And squeeze your nipples so hard, milk will come out. you fucking-- goddAMMIT (lol) 00:01:39.280 --> 00:01:41.720 Fine! fine, say a joke then 00:01:42.760 --> 00:01:45.760 alright, say the joke. I'm waiting, say the joke 00:01:46.060 --> 00:01:46.920 Guy: Shut the- 00:01:46.920 --> 00:01:49.460 Okay, I'm quiet! Say the joke then. 00:01:50.440 --> 00:01:52.120 Guy: Okay I my- "mumbling* 00:01:52.300 --> 00:01:55.340 nonon NoNO. Quiet, let him do the joke 00:01:55.380 --> 00:01:58.700 *kid laughs for nothing* 00:01:58.700 --> 00:02:00.900 *in Turkish:Yea we are listening to you* 00:02:00.900 --> 00:02:02.900 *the kid on the stage:damn dude* 00:02:03.160 --> 00:02:04.040 Do the joke! 00:02:04.240 --> 00:02:09.940 *Turkish kid sings the music of Recep Tayyip Erdogan* 00:02:10.160 --> 00:02:12.700 ...Allah Huakbar (Translation= God is big) 00:02:12.840 --> 00:02:14.300 This is comedy night for ya. 00:02:14.520 --> 00:02:15.880 This is what happens... 00:02:15.880 --> 00:02:17.100 *speaks Arabic* 00:02:17.100 --> 00:02:21.820 oh mY GOD JUST SHUT UP EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP, this is a game abOUT COMEDY! AND YOU'RE ALL JUST RUINING IT *says you pewds XD* 00:02:22.640 --> 00:02:28.860 STUPID get off- Thank God. Thank fucking god. Alright. Listen you want a real joke? aight 00:02:29.620 --> 00:02:31.280 my relationship... 00:02:31.940 --> 00:02:32.440 is... 00:02:32.640 --> 00:02:34.640 OGRE ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Guy: Fuck your joke! 00:02:36.940 --> 00:02:41.380 So I've been... SHREKS-ING some other girls 00:02:41.960 --> 00:02:45.080 GODDAMMIT. God dammit. How dare- who kicked me off 00:02:45.540 --> 00:02:47.540 *kid sings a Turkish political party music* 00:02:47.600 --> 00:02:49.600 *pewds booing* 00:02:50.220 --> 00:02:56.160 Why does all these fucking people play this game, I don't get it I don't get it 00:02:56.160 --> 00:03:00.839 This is the only room available and this game is like what? free? (it's 5 bucks) Professional. 00:03:01.800 --> 00:03:03.040 Oh wow, this is fun. 00:03:04.180 --> 00:03:06.180 It's just me, so, anyway 00:03:07.500 --> 00:03:10.060 Ladies, am I right? ;) 00:03:11.880 --> 00:03:14.400 Gotta respect them 00:03:15.840 --> 00:03:20.780 ♫all around me are familiar faces♫ 00:03:20.780 --> 00:03:23.540 *kid imitates a Turkish youtuber* 00:03:23.540 --> 00:03:27.340 Pewds: Oh, look its Jon Snow *x2* 00:03:27.340 --> 00:03:28.620 Wow! 00:03:28.680 --> 00:03:30.680 Wow, nice hair dude 00:03:30.720 --> 00:03:33.140 You look like Pippi Longstocking 00:03:33.140 --> 00:03:37.360 Wow, nice pants too, what are yo- 00:03:37.360 --> 00:03:41.380 *Gets kicked again and laughs* 00:03:41.400 --> 00:03:45.560 My best friend.. is Amy Schumer and she owns this stage. 00:03:45.560 --> 00:03:48.640 and she will ban you from all comedy shows 00:03:48.640 --> 00:03:50.640 in Los Angeles. 00:03:50.640 --> 00:03:53.220 If you don't listen to me 00:03:53.220 --> 00:03:55.800 Listen to me, listen to me 00:03:55.800 --> 00:03:57.800 hello *kicked* 00:03:57.960 --> 00:04:01.840 *guy singing* Pewds: Where are you from?, where are you from? x2 What country? 00:04:02.300 --> 00:04:03.820 Guy: *distorted* I'm from your fuck- idiot 00:04:03.820 --> 00:04:06.140 Pewds: What my fucking idiot that's where you're from? 00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:09.940 Guy: From Turkey 00:04:10.600 --> 00:04:11.260 Pewds: Same thing :P 00:04:11.260 --> 00:04:12.800 Other Guy: Yes I am from Turkey bitch 00:04:13.840 --> 00:04:15.540 *pewds laughter* 00:04:15.800 --> 00:04:18.800 Guy on stage: Hello where are you from salad? 00:04:19.020 --> 00:04:21.020 Pewds: I'm from your mom's asshole 00:04:21.020 --> 00:04:23.020 *XD* 00:04:23.320 --> 00:04:26.540 *in Turkish:don't insult the family values you damn fucker* 00:04:26.540 --> 00:04:28.520 Pewds: That's right! *kicked again* 00:04:29.820 --> 00:04:33.160 This game is so bad! Like why do people want me to play it? 00:04:33.160 --> 00:04:34.680 these guys don't know how to- 00:04:34.680 --> 00:04:36.660 "Saladass Giremez" 00:04:36.660 --> 00:04:38.320 What does that mean? 00:04:38.320 --> 00:04:41.140 What does "giremez" mean in Turkey? 00:04:41.560 --> 00:04:44.580 It means not allowed. I'm not allowed in this room 00:04:44.880 --> 00:04:46.540 Guy: Fuck you saladass 00:04:47.380 --> 00:04:48.880 Guy: saladass, fuck you bitch! 00:04:49.520 --> 00:04:50.920 Pewds: What are you- What are you gonna do? huh? 00:04:51.340 --> 00:04:52.220 What are you gonna do? 00:04:53.600 --> 00:04:55.600 Guy: I'm going to... fuck you. 00:04:55.600 --> 00:04:57.040 Guy: ...and kick you. Pewds: That's pretty fuckin gay 00:05:00.120 --> 00:05:01.840 Guy:look at..I am going to... I am going to sing a song 00:05:01.900 --> 00:05:04.120 In Engresh gen 00:05:06.360 --> 00:05:06.860 Guy: I'm going to sing a song 00:05:06.880 --> 00:05:08.980 Pewds: Okay sing. Sing, I'm listening. 00:05:09.580 --> 00:05:11.580 Guy: Wait a minute, I'm opening the music 00:05:13.040 --> 00:05:16.720 Pewds: This is really good. Kid:Wait I am going to open it 00:05:16.840 --> 00:05:18.260 Pewds: Wow, that was really good 00:05:18.260 --> 00:05:21.600 *starts singing despacito* 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:23.500 Pewds: HEY NOW, YOU'RE AN ALLSTAR 00:05:23.800 --> 00:05:26.340 GET THE SHOW ON, GET MAY 00:05:26.460 --> 00:05:29.180 HEY NOW, YOU'RE AN ALLSTAR 00:05:29.180 --> 00:05:31.520 GET THE PLAY ON, GET RAY 00:05:31.520 --> 00:05:34.980 ALL THAT GLITTERS IS GOLD *kid on stage wants pewds to get on the stage* 00:05:34.980 --> 00:05:40.640 ALL THAT YOU'RE A STAR, RAISE THE MOOOOOOLD 00:05:40.900 --> 00:05:41.540 *pewds gets on stage* 00:05:41.540 --> 00:05:43.540 *allstar starts playing* Pewds: SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME 00:05:43.540 --> 00:05:45.540 The world is gonna roll me 00:05:46.040 --> 00:05:50.080 I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed 00:05:50.080 --> 00:05:54.840 She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb 00:05:54.840 --> 00:05:59.580 IN THE SHAPE OF AN L ON HER FOREHEEEAAAD 00:05:59.980 --> 00:06:02.680 THE YEARS START COMING AND THEY DON'T STOP COMING 00:06:02.680 --> 00:06:04.680 *ruined it* 00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:18.160 (still singing the goddamn lyrics as he's kicked off the stage) 00:06:18.160 --> 00:06:19.500 HEY NOW 00:06:19.500 --> 00:06:20.740 YOU'RE AN ALLSTAR 00:06:20.740 --> 00:06:21.820 GET YOUR GAME ON 00:06:21.820 --> 00:06:23.360 GO PLAY 00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:27.960 HEY NOW, YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR, GET THE SHOW ON, GET PAID 00:06:27.960 --> 00:06:31.500 ALLLLL THAT GLITTERS IS GOOOOOLD 00:06:31.500 --> 00:06:33.500 ONLY SHOOTING STAAaaaRS 00:06:33.500 --> 00:06:36.920 BREAK THE MOOoooOOOOooLD 00:06:36.920 --> 00:06:39.460 *mumbling lyrics* 00:06:39.460 --> 00:06:40.220 UM 00:06:40.220 --> 00:06:42.220 IN THE- UH- 00:06:42.220 --> 00:06:43.160 *gibberish, laughs* 00:06:43.160 --> 00:06:49.100 (Guy singing Eye of the Tiger) Pewds: This is pretty good. Wow. You know, I was wrong. 00:06:49.640 --> 00:06:51.660 I was wrong, you have talent! 00:06:52.180 --> 00:06:53.480 THIS IS INCREDIBLE! 00:06:54.300 --> 00:06:55.860 You guys hear this? 00:06:56.560 --> 00:06:58.120 You hearin' this? 00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:00.120 This is perfect rendering! 00:07:00.180 --> 00:07:01.300 Guy: Eye of the tiger- fuck you bitch! 00:07:01.300 --> 00:07:04.940 Nonononono YOU fuck YOUR bitch keep singing I love it 00:07:07.160 --> 00:07:08.020 Guy: face-to-face 00:07:08.020 --> 00:07:10.800 ohh, there you go...oh...yeah YEAH 00:07:12.900 --> 00:07:14.140 *speaks over him* 00:07:15.080 --> 00:07:18.180 Together: EYE OF THE TIGER IN THE GAME OF THE FIGHT 00:07:18.400 --> 00:07:19.340 RISING UP 00:07:19.820 --> 00:07:29.720 *what a lovely duet* 00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:31.720 eiEHHHHEEHHHHHHENND 00:07:33.200 --> 00:07:36.700 See, I'm way better, you're terrible pls get off stage 00:07:36.780 --> 00:07:39.900 Pewds: Hey, hey, I got a question, can I ask you something 00:07:39.900 --> 00:07:41.860 Pewds: can I just ask you one thing? *guy on stage keeps singing a damn song* 00:07:41.860 --> 00:07:44.220 Can I just ask- I just have one question 00:07:44.220 --> 00:07:46.220 just one- one question 00:07:46.720 --> 00:07:49.980 ONE question- lemme just ask you ONE question 00:07:49.980 --> 00:07:52.320 pls can I ask one question 00:07:52.620 --> 00:07:54.300 I have one question 00:07:54.300 --> 00:07:55.820 i just wanna ask- (guy still ignoring poor poods v_v) 00:07:55.820 --> 00:07:58.040 pls excuse me sir, excuse me sir 00:07:58.040 --> 00:08:00.620 I don't wanna interrupt the show I just wanna ask one thing 00:08:01.100 --> 00:08:03.800 one thing, can I just ask- ok 00:08:05.300 --> 00:08:08.300 comment section: "YoU sHOUld plAy coMedY NIhght this Gaem is greAT" 00:08:09.580 --> 00:08:11.040 Wow that's really good 00:08:12.480 --> 00:08:14.160 Wow is that you rapping? 00:08:23.880 --> 00:08:33.680 *plays Roomie's song Brofist* 00:08:34.400 --> 00:08:38.180 Good times no racism you go down. It's... 00:08:38.180 --> 00:08:39.240 AIDS night 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:40.420 hehehah 00:08:42.120 --> 00:08:42.920 oh, it's Floyd 00:08:43.980 --> 00:08:46.200 Oh my god, it's Floyd Mayweather. 00:08:46.940 --> 00:08:48.080 i love you 00:08:49.000 --> 00:08:51.920 ohhh, no no no no... keep telling the joke 00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:55.720 tell the jok- tell the joke then 00:08:58.560 --> 00:09:01.560 ok, alright, I'm listening. come on do the jokey 00:09:03.600 --> 00:09:04.100 i am 00:09:04.540 --> 00:09:08.700 try- I'm trying to be quite but you don't make a joke... Make a joke. 00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:12.820 come on man Dude: Shut The Fuck Up! 00:09:13.040 --> 00:09:15.320 no you shut up. okaaaaY 00:09:16.280 --> 00:09:17.700 what do ya waaaAAaaant 00:09:18.640 --> 00:09:19.800 WaaaAAAhhhhhHHH 00:09:20.300 --> 00:09:23.740 I thought this was AIDS night, not cancer night (OOOHHHHHH) Dude: You sound like a --- tale, shut up 00:09:24.020 --> 00:09:26.940 Ohh wow, good one. GOOOOOD ONE. 00:09:27.340 --> 00:09:30.160 oh wow, that's real funny boy 00:09:30.600 --> 00:09:31.140 wow 00:09:32.380 --> 00:09:34.200 okay, i see how it is 00:09:34.460 --> 00:09:38.280 I just came here for some jokes. I haven't heard a single one. 00:09:38.280 --> 00:09:40.140 *distorted talk* 00:09:41.280 --> 00:09:42.920 Oh that was hilarious! 00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:51.020 Joke: Did you hear about the Arrainian- who locked himself up in his car? It took three hours to get his family out, of it. 00:09:53.060 --> 00:10:00.660 Kill yourself. Dude: yoyoyo saladass, saladass. you look like a veggie tale, and you sound like veggie tale shut up.! *REKT!* 00:10:00.660 --> 00:10:03.620 OHH SHIIT, HE CALLED ME VEGGIE TALE!! 00:10:04.280 --> 00:10:05.300 THAT WAS HILARIOUS! 00:10:07.780 --> 00:10:13.620 oh my god, he judged me based on my avatar, in a randomly generated video game 00:10:13.900 --> 00:10:15.020 that is brilliant! 00:10:16.140 --> 00:10:16.940 oohhhh 00:10:17.440 --> 00:10:19.040 ohhhh, wowww 00:10:19.300 --> 00:10:22.040 Everybody: Ohhhhh Dude: Allalagealaa 00:10:22.160 --> 00:10:25.380 oh I got that one. That was funny 00:10:25.460 --> 00:10:27.400 Dude: ...do with a mustache tonigh- 00:10:31.700 --> 00:10:34.160 This is worse than Amy Schumer's Netflix special 00:10:34.780 --> 00:10:38.100 Does anybody know how to line for the Chinese men? 00:10:38.320 --> 00:10:40.700 Yo, you sound black, why you white nig-*KEEPIN IT FAMILY FRIENDLY* 00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:48.100 Okay, please excuse my digital blackface this has been comment a night. Thank you guys so much for watching leave a.... 00:10:49.230 --> 00:10:54.950 leave a thumbs up if you enjoyed and I will see you guys next time 00:10:56.220 --> 00:10:57.640 Goodbye 00:11:00.160 --> 00:11:01.040 squad fam out 00:11:01.400 --> 00:11:03.040 *blee-bleep*