WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en-GB

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Back in the day, we used to fear

00:00:02.500 --> 00:00:03.000
war

00:00:03.260 --> 00:00:03.980
WOAR

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sickness
(loud noise warning)

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*ear rape*

00:00:06.220 --> 00:00:07.320
starvation

00:00:07.320 --> 00:00:07.820
A wild Scarce appeared!

00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:09.600
Scarce: Hey what's up guys? It's Scarce he-

00:00:09.600 --> 00:00:11.520
getting eaten by porcupines. (wut)

00:00:11.520 --> 00:00:14.000
*DRAMATIC BUT SO ADORABLE*

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Today

00:00:14.840 --> 00:00:16.520
there's a different kind of threat

00:00:17.020 --> 00:00:18.880
shitty tweets that will get you fired

00:00:19.340 --> 00:00:20.720
There's the girl that dressed up

00:00:20.720 --> 00:00:23.420
as a victim in the Boston marathon shootings

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S- Seriously?

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Seriously??

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Okay she may-

00:00:25.960 --> 00:00:27.340
she may be deserved to

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*can't contain laughter*

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We have the Taco Bell employee!

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That peed in a Taco Bell!

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WHY DID HE GET FIRED?

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Life is not fair
(says you...)

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We're all a tweet away from losing our job.

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We have Justine Sacco who tweeted

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*DRAMATIC*

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Jesus Fucking Christ!

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Maybe my tweets are not that bad

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but I'm gonna read the tweets that I never

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press

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Tweet on.

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They're saved here in my tweet drafts.

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They're not gonna be anywhere near as bad.

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They're just gonna be either unfunny

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shitty.

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I'm gonna regret doing this
(same here)

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ok

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*Blank expression*

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*Exhales out of laughter*

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*tries to contain laughter*

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*Weird inhalation*

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*fails to contain laugh*

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I still stand by that

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I still stand by all kids should be sent to.... fight like the hunger games

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You're pretty psycho if you still hope for this poods

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That'd be entertainment (torture!)

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We'd have less annoying kids on airplanes.

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*CONTEMPLATION*

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No there isn't.

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Can there- can it be my birthday today plz?

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Everyone type in the chat

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"IT'S NOT YOUR DAMN BIRTHDAY YET"

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Vote Lump of Hair 2k16

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Sorry, it's that, as a European

00:01:49.520 --> 00:01:51.840
this whole, uh, election thing

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as an outsider's perspective, it's just funny

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and that's why's funny to joke about.

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But I realize if I ever tweeted that shit and someone

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would retweet it

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it would look bad.

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Next one is a picture

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*Exhales out of laughter again*

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Are you okay poods?

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Oh you came back!

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I forgot about this one

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*checking for fever*

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This might be one of my favourite tweets ever

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I saved this one for so long

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So this girl named Avery tweeted

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* a moment of silence for the impending doom of headphone users*

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Well I'm sure he's a great guy but that

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that ain't me, Avery!

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Promise me you won't tell Avery about this person

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because I still want her to think

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that I'm a nice guy.

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Moving on.

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So this is like all my shitty jokes, pretty much

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*laughs*

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which is my Twitter feed anyway.

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So I don't see why I didn't just click send on that.

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I guess

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tweeting about eating your dog

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didn't really seem appropriate.

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But if you knew my dog

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it would totally (still not) be.

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*broccoli

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*applauds* That's hilarious.

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That's hysterical.

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Everyone, a round of applause!

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In a matter of fact,

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I'M GONNA TWEET IT RIGHT NOW!

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I'm not gonna hold back anymore!

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Brocillo?

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Broc- how do you spell it?

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It's broccoli!

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"Brocolli!"
(you still spelled it wrong)

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*Cue happy music YOU ACTUALLY DID IT*

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BOOM this shit better get tight!

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Yeah, that must have been the earth

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that farted.

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*Release the crickets*

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Hilarious.

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HILARIOUS comedy, thank you very much!

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I'm here all night

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uhh, except right now.

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I- this video's too shit.

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So I'm just gonna go.

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Thank you though!

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Appreciate it!

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You're smart that les-

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leas-

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No- you didn't.

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No one did.

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I remember this

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*exhales again*

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I think I-

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I think I put Xbox

00:03:52.440 --> 00:03:53.260
instead of-

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PC instead of Xbox.

00:03:56.080 --> 00:03:56.980
But I didn't wanna-

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I didn't wanna upset anyone

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over an Xbox

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cause they might still give me free shit, you know?

00:04:02.900 --> 00:04:03.740
I'm not gonna-

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I'm not gonna burn that bridge!

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As much as a piece of shit you are, Xbox

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you can give me free shit!

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So-

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I'm not gonna ruin that!

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Wait...
(You kinda already did XD)

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*chuckles*

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*inhales*

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It's true.

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*continues laughing*

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I remember back in 2014

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that's when my channel got big

00:04:25.740 --> 00:04:28.040
and I barely put ANY effort

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into my videos back then.

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I'm not gonna lie

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they were pretty shit.

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Not all of them, but a lot of them

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and I-

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I would get so many view

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I would get so many view!

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Why does that not happen??

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Was it too many other YouTubers now??

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Y'all watching Leafy

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and Ricegum

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HUH IS THAT WHY?

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AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH?

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I see how it is.

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I'm a passing trend, huh?

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I'm not interesting enough.

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Oh, well I'm sorry.

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Sorry I don't talk close to the mic- hey everybody~
*tries to do a Leafy impression*

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See, the reason why I didn't tweet this

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is cause I know everyone's gonna just be like

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"yeh"

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"we know"

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I know you guys!

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I know you guys on Twitter!

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You try and be so fucking

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s-

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clever and smirky.

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I'm gonna-

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I'm gonna prove it to you.

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All right.

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*Enter*

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Boom.

00:05:11.880 --> 00:05:13.540
All right, let's see the responses

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*20 to 0 in three seconds*

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All right, the tweet's been up for 20 seconds

00:05:19.220 --> 00:05:19.940
so let's see here.

00:05:20.340 --> 00:05:20.840
"agreed"

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"true"

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"true"

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"yep"

00:05:25.540 --> 00:05:26.040
"yes"

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"yes"

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"ur right"

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"tru"
(It's so hard to keep up help me)

00:05:27.540 --> 00:05:28.040
"yeah lol"

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"indeed"

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"not the worst"

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"Same"

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"tru"

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"sucks man"

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*burps* You all think you're so clever huh?

00:05:33.340 --> 00:05:37.420
planning to start a team rocket with edgar and go out and steal people's iphones

00:05:37.760 --> 00:05:39.040
That's a great idea!

00:05:39.120 --> 00:05:40.520
Dude, I just need the apparel!

00:05:40.680 --> 00:05:41.240
Listen- I'm gonna-

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I'm gonna do this,

00:05:42.100 --> 00:05:42.600
All right.

00:05:42.740 --> 00:05:43.840
This is my Plan C.

00:05:44.820 --> 00:05:45.880
After YouTube.

00:05:46.040 --> 00:05:46.880
OMG

00:05:46.880 --> 00:05:48.200
There's one for dogs.

00:05:48.580 --> 00:05:50.860
The ghostbuster movie wasn't actually that bad

00:05:51.980 --> 00:05:52.580
*Heh*

00:05:53.240 --> 00:05:55.540
*Tries so hard to contain laughter*

00:05:55.720 --> 00:05:56.300
Aw man.

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The reason I didn't tweet this

00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:00.380
was because everyone hates the movie on the internet.

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Doesn't matter-

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It doesn't matter!

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Everyone hates the movie.

00:06:03.620 --> 00:06:06.640
I thought it'd be funny if I say that it wasn't actually bad.

00:06:06.980 --> 00:06:07.480
But

00:06:07.660 --> 00:06:09.020
I meant it ironically

00:06:09.340 --> 00:06:10.320
because I hated it

00:06:10.320 --> 00:06:11.580
*can't contain himself*

00:06:11.580 --> 00:06:12.200
My hair...

00:06:12.200 --> 00:06:13.680
Stahp commenting about it.

00:06:15.440 --> 00:06:16.620
Listen, if I were to fringe

00:06:16.620 --> 00:06:17.700
you can fucking-

00:06:17.700 --> 00:06:19.200
let me have a fringe.

00:06:19.420 --> 00:06:19.920
Alright?

00:06:20.040 --> 00:06:20.940
Here's another one.

00:06:29.780 --> 00:06:30.800
AW SHIT THAT WAS

00:06:31.320 --> 00:06:32.580
Fuck, that was Donald Trump.

00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:33.540
Sorry!

00:06:33.640 --> 00:06:34.400
Sorry Mr. Trump

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I didn't mean to plagiarize your tweet

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MY BAD

00:06:37.540 --> 00:06:39.540
Future President of America, everyone!

00:06:40.500 --> 00:06:43.100
All right, let's see what tweets I've actually deleted.

00:06:43.100 --> 00:06:44.240
And I can talk about

00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:45.660
why I deleted them.

00:06:45.880 --> 00:06:48.240
Alright, this I tweeted to Matthew Santoro

00:06:48.240 --> 00:06:50.720
Why did I tweet this to Matthew Santoro?

00:06:50.720 --> 00:06:51.220
*wheezes*

00:06:56.980 --> 00:06:58.280
"I use PewDiePie for everything"

00:06:58.280 --> 00:06:59.060
And I tweeted:

00:07:01.380 --> 00:07:01.920
aaaaaaa

00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:02.940
This is a big deal

00:07:02.940 --> 00:07:03.480
This tweet-

00:07:03.480 --> 00:07:05.200
This tweet got me in a lot of trouble

00:07:05.200 --> 00:07:06.420
especially on Tumblr.
(of course)

00:07:06.600 --> 00:07:08.480
People were very upset that I tweeted this.

00:07:08.720 --> 00:07:09.440
Stupid joke.

00:07:09.700 --> 00:07:11.200
Stupid joke about pedophilia

00:07:11.220 --> 00:07:11.720
Two years ago...

00:07:11.720 --> 00:07:12.220
Can't do that.

00:07:12.260 --> 00:07:13.380
You can't do that.

00:07:13.380 --> 00:07:14.420
I learned my lesson.

00:07:14.620 --> 00:07:15.340
I'm sorry.

00:07:15.420 --> 00:07:16.680
Now, the joke was

00:07:16.820 --> 00:07:17.640
that I-

00:07:17.720 --> 00:07:18.920
I know for a fact

00:07:18.980 --> 00:07:20.980
that YouTubers use their Snapchat

00:07:21.380 --> 00:07:21.980
to get

00:07:22.220 --> 00:07:22.720
tits.

00:07:23.300 --> 00:07:25.160
from under-underage fans, alright.

00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:26.560
Not mentioning any names

00:07:26.840 --> 00:07:28.020
(it's totally not implying Santoro)

00:07:28.020 --> 00:07:29.700
But I know it's been done, alright?

00:07:29.700 --> 00:07:30.640
I thought- I never-

00:07:30.640 --> 00:07:32.360
That's why I never got a Snapchat

00:07:32.360 --> 00:07:33.560
cause I think it's so fucked up.

00:07:33.560 --> 00:07:34.520
So I made a joke about it!

00:07:34.720 --> 00:07:35.220
I'm sorry.

00:07:35.220 --> 00:07:35.780
You know what?

00:07:35.780 --> 00:07:36.280
I'm sorry.

00:07:36.280 --> 00:07:37.980
It's not like I did it!!

00:07:37.980 --> 00:07:38.960
I'M INNOCENT

00:07:39.080 --> 00:07:40.240
WHY DO I GET THE SHIT?

00:07:40.240 --> 00:07:41.680
I DIDN'T FUCKING GET THE TITS!!
(jealous much?)

00:07:41.780 --> 00:07:42.940
Glad we got that out!

00:07:42.940 --> 00:07:44.340
Glad we cleared the earth!

00:07:44.500 --> 00:07:45.060
Jesus.

00:07:45.920 --> 00:07:47.400
This is a terrible idea.

00:07:47.400 --> 00:07:50.480
I'm going to take my Korean kpop hair
(RAS much?)

00:07:50.480 --> 00:07:51.600
And I'm gonna go-

00:07:51.600 --> 00:07:52.100
Go.

00:07:52.100 --> 00:07:52.600
That was-

00:07:53.240 --> 00:07:55.240
This has been absolutely great!

00:07:55.240 --> 00:07:56.480
I'll never do this again! (yay.)

00:07:56.480 --> 00:07:57.260
Listen- look!

00:07:57.260 --> 00:07:58.080
There's my haircut!

00:08:00.400 --> 00:08:01.400
There it is again!!

00:08:01.400 --> 00:08:02.380
*laughs*

00:08:02.380 --> 00:08:03.420
Why did I do this??

00:08:03.420 --> 00:08:04.120
I'm just gonna go.

00:08:04.160 --> 00:08:05.620
Thank you so much for watching this video!

00:08:05.620 --> 00:08:07.140
Leave a like if you enjoyed (or didn't enjoy) watching.

00:08:07.140 --> 00:08:08.500
And as always

00:08:08.660 --> 00:08:09.640
*Brofisting*

00:08:09.640 --> 00:08:10.720
STAY AWESOME, BROS!

00:08:11.780 --> 00:08:13.020
Scarce has come out as homosexual.

00:08:13.160 --> 00:08:14.320
We reached out to Scarce

00:08:14.320 --> 00:08:15.500
for a comment

00:08:16.020 --> 00:08:17.260
about the situation...

00:08:17.280 --> 00:08:19.720
And/I'm/gay/I told my parents/I'm gay alright?

00:08:19.780 --> 00:08:24.120
and/my mom/is super homophobic/um both of like my mom and my dad-

00:08:24.120 --> 00:08:25.620
actually like, grabbed my balls!

00:08:25.620 --> 00:08:28.620
and/they both sincerely think i'm gay now

00:08:28.620 --> 00:08:31.680
Oh my God I just- I cant fuckin believe it and I'll see you later peace!

00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:32.320
I'm/gay

00:08:32.320 --> 00:08:33.000
[Back to you Pewds]

00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:33.520
COPYPASTE SKILLZ