WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en-GB

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Yes!

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YEES!

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Finally! We can collab together!

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Don't worry, I'm only gonna keep him in here when I do the videos.

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Just so you can see...

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Slippy...

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in all his glory.

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Slippy! It's our first technical collab

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What do you have to say about this?

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*"Chiquitita" by ABBA*
Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong...
You're inchained by your own sorrow...

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Wow! Your voice...

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isssa... sexy!

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PewDiePie 2017...uuuh... soundboard! *airhorn sound*

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*MA NEM IZ JEFF*

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Stale memes, uhh... Toooooad? Colored lights.

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Stepping it up in 2017, BOIII!

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*inhale*

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Zooming in effects, can this channel get any better? I don't think so!

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I never really see him up close.

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He looks dope. Let's get a shot of him. Dat's some serious manemajeff.

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*creeeak*

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Damn!

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He's manemajeffing.

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Slippy and I, yesterday were watching youtube together.

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I present to you my new favourite channel...

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Barbie!

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Barbie: Hi! Uuh...Okay let's see... Where should I start, umm.. My name is JEFF.

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*Pewds clap*

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YESS!!! *Pewds chuckling*

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I know... Pound it!

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*CHIQUITITA YOU AND I KNOOO-

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*Punch*

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Barbie: Uhh- I have three sisters and we live in Los Angeles... Well...Malibu.

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(Pewds mocking Barbie) UUUHH...I LIVE IN MALIBU!!!

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*Jackseptieceye's AAAAAAAHHH*

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Goddamnit! This is so wierd. So this is like a virtual vlog.

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Barbie: I'm originally from Wisconsin. We moved here when I was eight years old.

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My parents were both writers and they just really loved the idea of raising their kids by the beach.

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But we still go back to Wisconsin every single year for the holidays so

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(Pewds staring blankily at screen)
Barbie continues to talk: I feel like we get the best of both worlds. I get to surf and I get to snowboard.

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Still Barbie: My friends and I just really love sharing new ideas. Umm... New musi-

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Finally Pewds: I don't know why I'm criticizing this for being weird while I'm sitting next to a FUCKING TOAD!

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*Wheeze and laugh*

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This is normal! (chuckling)

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*Wheeze, cough and sniff*

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Where did we go wrong?!

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Slippy?

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Where did we go wrong?

00:02:17.380 --> 00:02:23.140
Barbie: So my sister Skipper wanted me to start this vlog. TAAADAAA!(laughs) My first vlog, I suppose.

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Introducing myself... Here are ten things you may or may not have known about me.

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*DING*

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Barbie: My two favourite costumes-

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Pewds:(sarcastically) I love the editing. It's like classic Youtube editing you know?

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Just a black text and a white font.

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Impact(the name of the font).

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Barbie: I don't like spiders or drinking soda.

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I hope to get past the not liking spiders part, 'cause it's not really their fault that they scare me and the soda thing, well...(taps fingers on desk) That's a long story.

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Pewds: The soda thing is a long story.

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I want to know MORE about the soda thing.

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T-BURP-ell me Barbie about the soda thing!

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So Barbie has like A TON of videos, SO many videos!

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I was watching through them and they're...they're kinda entertaining!

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I KNOW IT'S WIERD!

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I now they're not meant for 27 years old men.

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BUT I LIKE IT!

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Barbie: ROOM TOUR!!

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You guys have been asking for tour of my room, so... Here we GO.

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MYYYYY room!

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I LOVE IT!

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Pink is power right? (Actually red is associated with power but you go girl)

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Pewds: (deep voice)ZOELLA!!! YOU-YOU GOT SOME COMPETITION NOW!

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I mean it's genius if you think about it... You know... Instead of hiring like these, these... Uhh... EXPENSIVE youtubers...

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YOU CAN JUST MAKE YOUR OWN!

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YOU CAN JUST MAKE YOUR OWN!

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It kinda freaks me out a lil' bit cause I know there's actually like... You know...

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Some youtube channels are actually owned by companies, but they won't say it. So you might watch-be watching someone...

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But really... You are just watching a fucking commercial through an actor.

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Ther-there's been a few instances of this on Youtube... It's-it's really fucking strange.

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So it's genius marketing really.

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Have I told you about my favorite brand, Monster Drinks... BY THE WAY?

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*cutting edge technology editing*

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*WAPOOSH* (extremely fast talking) This investment is brought to you by Monster Drinks, most of the drinks are sponsored by the WSJ Baker Soda Line. Drink responsebly.

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Pewds again: So Barbie does room tour, she does
...
 "Draw my life".

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Barbie: I made friends who liked me for me.

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Chelsea was born in California.

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(weird, out of this world camel orgasming noise)

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(noises imitating girls voices) Once we even had a contest to see who could out-prank the other.

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Chelsea replaced
Pewds: WHAT?!
Barbie: the soda with the mix of soy sauce and seltzer.

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Pewds: OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!

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Barbie: Eugh!

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Pewds: That was the long story! She replaced...
SODA!

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WITH SOY SAUCE!1!!11!

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(Retrospection)
Barbie: And the soda thing, well... That's a long story.

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Pewds: That is an aMaZinG story!

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What an amazing story with soy and soy sauce!

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Barbie: THAT'S IT FOR NOW!

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P.A.C.E! (Positive Attitude Changes Everything, apparently)

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Pewds: WHat did?! So she ends it with like...PACE!!!

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I don't what it means!
(Again, Positive Attitude Changes Everything)

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Practise... All...

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Chhan't...

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*something between cough and pant*

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Phhhii...

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Phhhaa-

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PHAINAPPEL!!

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COOOL-

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IIIIIIII

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*heavy wheezing*

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*mating call of PewDiePies*

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hEE

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I'M A GENIOUS, I KNOW!

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I don't, I don't know but she does it everytime. It's amazing! It's-it's more iconic *kisses his fist* than the brofist.

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*Slippy nopes out*

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I will admit, I will ad-
(looks at Slippy)

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(Here we see the rare specimen of Slippus Toadus. We have to be very quiet. This species is known for it's shyness. What a majestic creature it is.)

00:05:09.800 --> 00:05:10.300
(And here is a Swedish Viking. He shaved his beard to bamboozle his enemies, but we have looked through his clever disguise. As we see he wears his iconic helmet Headphones9001. He is known for a big eagle-like nose, wide forehead and being horribly noisy. His natural enemies are WSJ, The Sun and Polygon. Let's not distub him as he is extremely akward)

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(to Slippy) Where're you going?

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*Chiquitita for the third time*

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(sliPPY NO)

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*half whispering* Well you fucking asshole.

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Barbie also makes important videos about empowerment.

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Barbie: I just wanted to thank you again for watching my vlog and leaving such... (has trouble with speaking)great comments!

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*Chiqu-Oh to hell with this, you guys know the drill*

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*PewDiePie writes an honest, valuable and positive comment with core message*

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Barbie: HI THERE! Hey, thanks everyone for all your great suggestions from my videos. Karaoke challenge, room tour, draw my life, do my posts upside down...?

00:05:48.980 --> 00:05:49.480
Huh.

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*♫this is a story all about how her life got turned upside down♫*

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To give it "it's own unique style", heh.

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Pewds: That is...

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HILARIOUS.

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(♫Upside down and inside out♫)
Holy shit, That is HiLaRiOuS, I am laughing my ass off right now.

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Barbie: How are you guys?

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Pewds: I'm good thank you, thank you for asking.

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Finger tutting.

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Barbie is teaching... Finger

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*dramatic pause*

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...Tutting.

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Barbie: You know what I like about finger tutting?

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It's another way to dance to your favourite songs, even if you can't move your feet.

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Like... Like if you're in a long car ride and you are just listening to your favorite playlist and you're stuck between two sisters...

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And maybe you can't move your arms, you can-
Pewds interrupting: YES!

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-always just still move your fingers.
Pewds: You can still... That- It's kinda like me!
Barbie: How fun is that?
(none at all)

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Barbie: So I thought I would give it a try for the first time.
(Such a great teacher)
Pewds: I'm stuck between toad and a soundboard. Yes!

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Pewds: OK... Okay, let's do it.
Barbie: Right here, in front of you guys.

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Barbie: Here we go! *quietly* Like this.
Pewds: Yes.

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*AmAzInG music*

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*barbiegiggle*
Pewds: She is... *HaHaHha*

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Barbie: Okay, okay, I'll practise!

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*Pewds finger tutts like nobody else*

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Finger tutting, the pinnacle of having fun.

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Barbie: P.A.C.E!

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Barbie: HAI!
Pewds: Hey.

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Barbie: So the days are getting shorter and the nights are getting longer, well... At least in the hemisphere that I live in... *chuckle*

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*sarcastic chuckle*

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Yeah,

00:07:06.700 --> 00:07:08.880
Yeah, that is, that is hilarious. Heeh.

00:07:08.880 --> 00:07:09.380
*dead stare*

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*vomits another chuckle*

00:07:10.740 --> 00:07:14.020
Also Barbie, what's with the short videos, okay?

00:07:14.300 --> 00:07:18.080
Don't you know you got to make them ten minutes? Haven't you heard?

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*in deep voice*You gotta...

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You gotta make them ten- I guess, I guess if you're already an ad it doesn't really matter.

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Goddamnit! I need to become an ad!

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I see now what must happen. I must transform this mortal flesh...

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And become an ad and I think the only way to really do that *mumbles something with colt's barrel in his mouth*

00:07:37.500 --> 00:07:39.380
*Family friendly Felix*

00:07:39.380 --> 00:07:42.520
*You will be missed*

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H E Y-

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-VSauce! Michael here...

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Barbie: I LOVED reading your comments about the holidays.

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Pewds:*suprised* Oh! She read my comment!

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OH MY GOD SHE READ MY COMMENT!!

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*even louder* SHE READ MY COMMENT!!11!!1

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Barbie: You know, I had this one particular friend, who would tease me about it (??) like I could only be one thing.

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*Still Scarier jumpscare than Five Nights at Freddy's*
(THIS SPAWN OF SATAN CAN TELEPORT?!)

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Pewds: JESUS CHRIST, what the fuck was that?

00:08:07.580 --> 00:08:08.680
Barbie:-could only be one thing.

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*second jumpscare*

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*Pewds has heart attack*

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Stop!

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Stop doing it Barbie!

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Barbie: Hai!

00:08:13.280 --> 00:08:15.600
So you how I've been trying to do a new thing every week.

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Well, this week I made chocolate covered beetles.

00:08:20.100 --> 00:08:23.500
Pewds: Oh wow, that's pretty crazy.
Barbie: Mmm. Super yummy! Pretty crunchy

00:08:23.840 --> 00:08:24.380
Pewds: Okay.

00:08:25.520 --> 00:08:26.180
Barbie: April Fool's!

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OOOOOOH MY GOD!! GOTTEM!!

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Guess who you got? MEEE!

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*pewdieclap of apprecieation*

00:08:32.740 --> 00:08:35.120
OOH My god!
*Airhorn intensifies!!*

00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:35.940
Pewds: DAAAAAAMN!!!

00:08:35.940 --> 00:08:36.440
*Airhorn and PewDiePie stops at the same time*

00:08:36.440 --> 00:08:37.520
*Suprised Pewds is suprised*
That was...

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Harmonic!

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DEEEEEEEEEAM!!!
*Airhorn*

00:08:40.660 --> 00:08:50.060
(I didn't wanna sleep anyways)
Barbie chanting: The human mortals want their winter. No night is now with him or *inaudible* therefore the moon, the goddenes of lights.

00:08:50.060 --> 00:08:52.420
-hail in her anger!

00:08:52.420 --> 00:08:54.520
Pewds: She does poetry? *in disgust* Oh god, no!

00:08:54.520 --> 00:08:57.320
Barbie: Ok, so just make sure that you also get the ingredients.

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OK, well, it looks like soda.

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*sniffs the cup*

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Barbie: It smells like soy sauce.
Pewds: WHAT?!

00:09:03.860 --> 00:09:06.940
Barbie: Is this soy sauce and seltzer? Did Chelsea put you up to this?
*camera nodding with giggles in background*

00:09:07.100 --> 00:09:12.380
Pewds: THE SOY SAUCE PRANK AGAIN! My god, that is hysterical!

00:09:12.380 --> 00:09:16.680
Barbie: So one of my favorite things to do is look at photos of cosplay online.

00:09:16.680 --> 00:09:20.920
Here are a couple of my first attempts at cosplay.
Pewds: Okay.
Barbie: I hope you'll like them.

00:09:20.920 --> 00:09:21.580
Pewds:Alright!

00:09:21.580 --> 00:09:22.320
(yes, this is Harley Quinn questioning a girl in a cardboard box*

00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:28.520
Barbie: I used to dance ballet as a little girl, but right now my favorite kind is free-form expressive dance!

00:09:28.700 --> 00:09:30.500
*DABBING EARRAPE BOI*

00:09:30.500 --> 00:09:33.120
*PoopyPie.exe has stopped working*
*shutdown iminent*

00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:33.620
Did...

00:09:33.840 --> 00:09:34.560
Barbie...

00:09:35.120 --> 00:09:35.620
Just dab?

00:09:37.040 --> 00:09:37.900
Did Barbie just dab?

00:09:37.900 --> 00:09:40.200
Barbie cheerfully: Hey guys! How you doing?

00:09:40.200 --> 00:09:43.160
Pewds: Not great okay. I've watched way too many of your videos, and I'm...

00:09:43.160 --> 00:09:43.660
*breaths in*

00:09:43.660 --> 00:09:46.680
I can't tell if I'm doing it for this video or if I enjoy it.

00:09:46.680 --> 00:09:48.080
Barbie: Hai there! Post number 2.

00:09:48.080 --> 00:09:50.000
Pewds: Wait a minute, the voice...

00:09:50.100 --> 00:09:56.100
*comparing the videos*

00:09:56.100 --> 00:09:58.300
Pewds: The voice... Is different!

00:09:58.460 --> 00:10:01.720
*another video of Barbie*

00:10:01.720 --> 00:10:02.220
*Pewds switches to another video*

00:10:02.220 --> 00:10:03.620
Pewds: Her VOICE changed!

00:10:03.620 --> 00:10:05.980
*Barbie babbles about Valentines Day*

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I'm starting to suspect that Barbie...

00:10:08.900 --> 00:10:10.180
... Might not be...

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R E A L.

00:10:12.020 --> 00:10:14.820
Follow me here, it's a crazy theory but...

00:10:14.900 --> 00:10:16.040
The dabbing.

00:10:16.380 --> 00:10:17.180
The dancing.

00:10:17.180 --> 00:10:19.640
The millions and millions of interests.

00:10:20.000 --> 00:10:23.520
The forced positive agenda and relatable character...

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That only can be made by a 40 year old male writer.

00:10:26.940 --> 00:10:27.440
Barbie...

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Is fictional!

00:10:30.040 --> 00:10:31.500
*X-files theme but it's ROBLOX1!!1!*

00:10:31.620 --> 00:10:32.820
My god.

00:10:34.780 --> 00:10:36.720
WHAT'S NEXT?

00:10:37.500 --> 00:10:41.020
What's next? Are the gonna say minecraft isn't real?

00:10:41.020 --> 00:10:42.960
M-ISAYNO!

00:10:43.920 --> 00:10:44.420
NO!

00:10:45.700 --> 00:10:46.980
Maybe I'm not real?

00:10:47.520 --> 00:10:49.280
How do I even know anymore?

00:10:49.280 --> 00:10:51.100
Alright guys. I hope you enjoyed this video.

00:10:51.100 --> 00:10:55.960
Uhhh, remember to leave a like, eeh...Check out Barbie, my new favorite channel.

00:10:55.960 --> 00:10:57.060
And as always...

00:10:57.300 --> 00:10:58.040
*Pewds and Barbie together*
P.A.C.E!

00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:01.460
*Pewds rape hand comes at you*

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