WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en

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Hey hows it going bros

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My name is Pew-

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[Fake PewDiePie]: PewDiePie

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What!

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[Fake PewDiePie]: Please

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What do you want? Stop

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[Fake PewDiePie]: Hey PewDiePie

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I'm doing my intro

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This is my show

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How's it going-

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[Fake PewDiePie]: Please please please

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Shut the fuck up -_-

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no, no :'((

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[Fake PewDiePie]: It's super cool

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Okay no I'm not turning around

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There's only two things in the world

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That would make me turn around,

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and look what's behind me

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Number 1,

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Donald Trump's penis.

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Number 2,

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a fuckin' toad

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Well, well, well.

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Felix.

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*Dramatic music starts*

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Look what we have here.

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Today is your lucky day.

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A toad.

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*lightning strike sound effect*

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YOU GOT A TOAD?

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YOU GOT A TOAD???

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OH

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THAT'S AMAZING

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Thank you fake PewDiePie

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come here

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*fake pewdiepie is in ceaseless agony*

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wait

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wait fake pewdiepie

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Can you - could you film this for me

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I wanna interact with the toad

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Thank you fake Felix.

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for give-

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You know how heartbroken I was...

00:01:03.560 --> 00:01:04.920
when Ainsley left me...

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*sad music*

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*sad music*

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A toad...

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Thank you

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Now I'm not fucking touching that shit though

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[Fake PewDiePie / Camera Man]: touch it you faggot

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no you touch it

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[Fake PewDiePie / Camera Man]: no no no no no no no

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*Pewds laughs* (Then) *sighs*

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Okay fine

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I'll play with slippy

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Alright guys, we bought a toad.

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I don't know why

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I think this is a terrible idea

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but he's in here

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His name is Slippy

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I've never touched him before

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Uh... I wanna be gentle

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and make sure...

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Slippy...

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Is he there? Is he there?

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heyy!

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okay

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alright

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I'm terrified of this toad.

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I'm legit scared of even looking at it.

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cause you don't know-

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It looks calm right now.

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Alright?

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It could- Slippy could attack.

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At any moment.

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*BREATHE*

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Why am I such a fucking pussy?

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He looks calm..

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But he's also-

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oh

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You see that? he moved, he's a little scared

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He will attack

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[Camera Man]: He looks like the big mean toad

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[Camera Man]: from Naruto

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*Action music*

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*Inaudible*

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Oh, jesus-- I'm so fucking scared

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I'm such a pussy!

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Jesus

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hey slippy how you doing slippy

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let me just say hello to you slippy

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Oh.

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Hey, how you doin', Slippy?

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He's smelling me

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Look at his nose

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hey slippy

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He feels like sandpaper, a li'l bit

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oh my god

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Why am-

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eugh

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*laugh*

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what- I'm not scared, okay? (yes you are)

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I'm not scared

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You think I'm scared?

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Look- look I'm not scared at all

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oh god

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*dramatic/tense music*

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hey slippy

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would you mind if i touched you? (plz no)

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come here

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*Dramatic music rises*

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Ooo!

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he's nice!

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hey

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He's pretty chill actually

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oh

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hey don't jump in- Slippy don't kill yourself :((

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Look at him (slippy trying to break free)

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Hey Slippy

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ok, he's calm

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Good boy

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good boy slippy

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good boy, He's cool!

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I never hold one before

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So this is a cane toad,

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They can get huge

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and they live for like.. 10 to 15 years?

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OH

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Hey! *Slippy hops away*

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SLIPPY

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It's like holding a cheeseburger, *laughs* it's really it

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It's really weird

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They do bite, they have a really strong jaw

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So I.. wanna be careful

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But he's pretty chill

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I like him

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This is cool

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How you doing Slippy-kun?

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I faced my fear today guys

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So we're gonna give Slippy a voice

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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He's really cool

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why did you get a toad?

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cause I'm scared of them

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I figured like an animal that I don't like

00:04:04.300 --> 00:04:06.440
would be the perfect pet for uh

00:04:06.440 --> 00:04:08.080
the Pewdiepie channel

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He's really cool

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I really like him

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Alright,

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well Slippy's now a member of the family, Ainsley

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rest his soul

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I hope he doesn't get too big

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Let's show some footage of like how big they can get

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Also if you lick Slippy

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I have to wash my hands now cause he's venomous

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So if you lick- if I wanna, you know get that poodiepie on,

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Just lick him.

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[Camera Man 1]: He's venomous?

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[Camera Man 2]: As in poisonous or hallucinogen?

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Hallucinogen.

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Really? Yeah you could- we're gonna have a party tonight

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[All]: *laughter*

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Do you guys like the name Slippy?

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So I thought Slippy would just be like, the coolest

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most original idea for a frog [toad]

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No one else has ever named their frog [toad] Slippy.

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So I just thought it would be like a really cool original idea.

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Why do you have a skull in there?

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Cause Slippy is a warlock!

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Oh

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*ha ha ha*

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We'll get a better house for him

00:05:04.160 --> 00:05:06.160
And he'll get more accustomed

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and Slippy will hopefully live a long happy life together with Felix and friends!

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*catchy music*

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Alright, well thanks for, watching.

00:05:17.740 --> 00:05:21.840
Uh... Leave a... like for all the toads in the world.

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Now I will...

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Brofist!

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*pewds looks around*

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*Thumbs up!!*

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*catchy end music*

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#RIPSLIPPY