WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.240 REEEEEEEEEEEEE!! 00:00:04.240 --> 00:00:05.940 CHECK OUT NEW MERCH! 00:00:05.940 --> 00:00:09.580 UglyChristmasSweater.com/pewdiepie 00:00:09.580 --> 00:00:12.120 And you as well, can look this great! 00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:13.200 YEAAAAAH!!! 00:00:13.220 --> 00:00:17.640 Order now before Christmas, and it will arrive in time for Christmas! 00:00:17.640 --> 00:00:20.600 Who said I don't have the hottest merch in the game? 00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:23.040 Who dare question my merch game? 00:00:23.040 --> 00:00:25.340 UglyChristmasSweater.com/pewdiepie 00:00:25.340 --> 00:00:30.400 Now, we have a bit of a problem. We can no longer make fun of India *laughs* 00:00:30.400 --> 00:00:36.240 T-Series is open but, you know, "IndianPeopleFacebook" is how this whole thing started. 00:00:36.260 --> 00:00:38.300 The whole "Bobs and vagene." 00:00:38.300 --> 00:00:43.640 But who am I possibly gonna make fun of now, for being bad at internet? 00:00:43.640 --> 00:00:48.300 For being bad at writing post on Facebook? That's right, old people. 00:00:48.300 --> 00:00:51.160 I don't know how this has never been flagged to me before, 00:00:51.160 --> 00:00:55.200 but old people Facebook it's a goddamn gold mine. *laughs* 00:00:55.200 --> 00:00:58.940 I'm sorry India, but uh, old people take the prize. 00:00:58.940 --> 00:01:01.880 We have such golden posts on Facebook as, 00:01:01.900 --> 00:01:05.300 "It's with great sadness in my heart that--" *laughs* 00:01:05.300 --> 00:01:07.660 --I can't even read this! 00:01:07.660 --> 00:01:11.920 "--that my 49 year old son, Shane, died this morning." *laughing* 00:01:12.200 --> 00:01:13.500 WHY WOULD YOU-- 00:01:13.560 --> 00:01:16.800 See, I haven't used Facebook in so long, I don't know what these are. 00:01:16.860 --> 00:01:21.640 I guess it's like a template to make a text post more interesting, you can pick a background 00:01:21.640 --> 00:01:25.700 and for some reason, they pick the crying/laughing emoji background. 00:01:25.700 --> 00:01:28.080 Thank you, Mark Zuckerberg. Very cool. 👍 00:01:28.080 --> 00:01:30.680 That just made me genuinely sad. *laughing* 00:01:30.680 --> 00:01:38.560 "I am Old School ,,I do not use a cell phone, I do not have caller ID. I am gay." 00:01:38.640 --> 00:01:41.580 What a fantastic profile picture! 00:01:41.580 --> 00:01:45.320 I can-- it's like no I'm not bald! Look, there's hair up there! LOOK!! 00:01:45.420 --> 00:01:46.640 Oh I love this one. I love this one. 00:01:46.660 --> 00:01:51.320 "My friends grandma went to get passport photos about 10 years ago--" 00:01:51.320 --> 00:01:58.060 "--but didn't quite understand the photo booth and ended up with this gem..." *laughing* 00:01:58.060 --> 00:02:02.660 So cute! I can only imagine she's sitting there hoping to get a passport photo 00:02:02.660 --> 00:02:05.400 and this thing prints out. *laughing* 00:02:05.440 --> 00:02:09.120 You can still use it as a passport photo, I'm pretty sure. 00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:14.740 "Justin please add me here thank you. i don't care about th gay" 00:02:14.800 --> 00:02:17.120 Come on Justin, what are you doing? 00:02:17.140 --> 00:02:18.740 Add your grandma on Facebook! 00:02:18.740 --> 00:02:21.900 This makes me really glad that I don't have Facebook anymore. 00:02:21.900 --> 00:02:26.160 Here's a perfect example of what Mark Zuckerberg meant when he wanted to connect people 00:02:26.180 --> 00:02:32.300 We have one person posting, "Mum passed away last night. Rest in peace my lovely mum 🙏🙏🙏" 00:02:32.300 --> 00:02:33.080 👏 👏 00:02:33.500 --> 00:02:36.900 "Signs and Symptoms of Irritable Bowel Syndrome" 00:02:36.900 --> 00:02:38.480 You know this happened because 00:02:38.480 --> 00:02:42.580 if you post a hyperlink in your Facebook post, and then delete it 00:02:42.640 --> 00:02:46.280 it still posts the whole thing as an image link. 00:02:46.280 --> 00:02:50.660 So she had just this article copied in her control and paste probably. 00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:54.320 Oh my god, but my favorite of this post 00:02:54.320 --> 00:02:57.660 is the comment "OAT MILK!!!" *laughs* 00:02:57.660 --> 00:03:02.040 You know in some cultures, oat milk is a sign of grief. 00:03:02.040 --> 00:03:03.720 I don't know, what is this? 00:03:03.720 --> 00:03:08.040 Is this what parents are doing on Facebook now that they've taken over the social media? 00:03:08.040 --> 00:03:11.000 Maybe we're the ones that use Facebook wrong all along! 00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:14.820 "Sending prayers. I'm so sorry about the heart break!" 00:03:14.840 --> 00:03:16.940 Debbie: the absolute savage 00:03:16.940 --> 00:03:18.840 "LOL!!!!!!!!!! 🐛" *laughs* 00:03:18.860 --> 00:03:23.220 "That's not what's supposed to come up there, but I pray for you, and hugs to the whole family!" 00:03:23.220 --> 00:03:27.620 Then delete it! Debbie, you knew exactly what you're doing Debbie. 00:03:27.640 --> 00:03:32.080 Don't even pretend. Goddamn. Can I say, I look goddamn good in this. 00:03:32.100 --> 00:03:35.880 Our next post comes from another Facebook. 00:03:35.920 --> 00:03:40.900 This probably could be the greatest chain of posts of all time 00:03:41.460 --> 00:03:46.340 Andrea: "im glad was shell be fine" "shell be ok" 00:03:46.340 --> 00:03:50.240 "shell be ok" "shes ok" "prayers for her" 00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:51.700 "prayers for her" 00:03:51.760 --> 00:03:52.480 "prayers" 00:03:53.200 --> 00:03:53.920 "prayers" 00:03:54.560 --> 00:03:55.280 "prayers" 00:03:55.860 --> 00:03:56.480 "prayers" 00:03:57.100 --> 00:03:58.020 "PRAYERS" 00:03:58.480 --> 00:04:00.720 "hesl ok" *laughs* 00:04:00.720 --> 00:04:01.700 "PRAYERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 00:04:02.020 --> 00:04:03.480 "HESL OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 00:04:03.480 --> 00:04:05.020 "HESL HONRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 00:04:05.120 --> 00:04:06.500 "WHY CANT I POST?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 00:04:06.540 --> 00:04:07.600 *laughing* 00:04:07.600 --> 00:04:09.000 God bless you Andrea. 00:04:09.000 --> 00:04:11.800 God bless you. And thank you for your prayers. 00:04:11.800 --> 00:04:17.100 "Wow just saw 4 hugh coyotes on the railroad" 00:04:19.100 --> 00:04:19.900 *laughing* 00:04:19.900 --> 00:04:21.120 What the-- 00:04:21.120 --> 00:04:22.920 I'm so confused! 00:04:22.960 --> 00:04:25.440 Oh, this one is great. Tara... 00:04:25.460 --> 00:04:30.080 I didn't know this, but apparently still some young people use Facebook for whatever reason. 00:04:30.080 --> 00:04:34.480 Posting stuff like this. Tara: "I hate Rihanna" 00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:38.280 Now apparently her grandma saw this post and she commented: 00:04:38.340 --> 00:04:45.600 "She might be mean to you Tara, but that doesn't mean you have to be mean to her." *laughing* 00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:48.260 That's right Geraldine, you're goddamn right. 00:04:48.260 --> 00:04:51.380 There's no reason to be mean to Rihanna. 00:04:51.380 --> 00:04:54.020 Just like there's no reason to be mean to me, ok? 00:04:54.020 --> 00:04:56.480 Because I'm not mean to you. You dummy. 00:04:56.480 --> 00:05:05.580 Here's a review on Amazon for "HP 63 Black & Tri-color Original Ink Cartridges" 00:05:05.600 --> 00:05:11.740 "The service was great: It was delivered fast and just what I needed." *laughs* 00:05:11.740 --> 00:05:14.180 Is he an ink cartridge perhaps? 00:05:14.180 --> 00:05:18.540 "My homeowners insurance company posted a video about water damage." 00:05:18.560 --> 00:05:24.860 Reply, "Where is the information needed to find my--" You gotta--you gotta wait for this one. 00:05:24.860 --> 00:05:30.440 "--needed to find my way main water valve. I bought this house used instead of newly built 00:05:30.440 --> 00:05:32.500 "and finding anything has been difficult." 00:05:32.500 --> 00:05:37.940 "The former owner lives down the street but always says I don't know when I inquire about something." 00:05:37.940 --> 00:05:44.800 "What is this? How did I get to YouTube. DON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH THIS NONSENSE!!!!!!!" 00:05:44.800 --> 00:05:48.160 *laughing* 00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:54.020 Judy. That's right YouTube, stop wasting Judith time with such nonsense! 00:05:54.020 --> 00:05:56.400 Are you kidding me over here? 00:05:56.400 --> 00:05:58.480 YouTube always wasting my time. I hate it. 00:05:58.500 --> 00:06:04.340 Now if you for some reason thought I wouldn't promote two merchs in one video, you're goddamn wrong baby. 00:06:04.340 --> 00:06:09.760 The Pew News hats are selling like a goddamn God, God. 00:06:09.760 --> 00:06:11.080 It's selling-- whatever shut up. 00:06:11.080 --> 00:06:13.600 These will only be available for one more day 00:06:13.600 --> 00:06:17.520 so now is your last chance to check out represent.com/pewdiepie 00:06:17.520 --> 00:06:20.180 I'm just saying it because it's the last chance and I'm really happy with this merch 00:06:20.180 --> 00:06:22.020 and I think it's really cool, ok? 00:06:22.120 --> 00:06:24.740 There's VERY slick 70 million club merch. 00:06:24.740 --> 00:06:27.460 "B**** Lasagna merch. MMM looks so good. 00:06:27.660 --> 00:06:31.740 And edgy Pew News much. Oh lalala. Designed by PewDiePie. 00:06:31.740 --> 00:06:35.960 And of course the Cyka Lasagna hoodie. Very nice. 00:06:36.020 --> 00:06:40.100 Ok. "Granny messaged me to wish me luck on my test." 00:06:40.300 --> 00:06:50.020 "All the best for 2day. i will be thinking of you. Lots of granny.xxx" 00:06:50.020 --> 00:06:54.140 Chaturbate Granny Sex *laughs* 00:06:54.140 --> 00:06:56.940 Don't you just love it when you're blessed with granny sex 00:06:56.940 --> 00:06:58.560 for good fortune on your test 00:06:58.560 --> 00:07:02.700 Someone posted to the public Facebook group of Walmart saying, 00:07:03.280 --> 00:07:07.880 "my grandson is supposed to be having a job interview is he there?" 00:07:07.940 --> 00:07:13.460 "Hi Phyllis, we hope your grandson did well" Walmart replies. 00:07:13.460 --> 00:07:21.260 Phyllis replies, "he didn't go he was busy catching those poke bugs on his phone. very upset with him." 00:07:21.260 --> 00:07:26.080 OHHHHH!!! Sounds like someone is about to get grounded! 00:07:26.080 --> 00:07:28.820 With "Poke Bugs" does he mean Pokemon? 00:07:28.820 --> 00:07:33.060 I would pick-- I would probably pick playing Pokemon over a Walmart interview. 00:07:33.060 --> 00:07:39.000 So this is from a group where a foldable Bluetooth keyboard is for sale for $20 00:07:39.000 --> 00:07:42.600 and someone asks, "Is this item still available?" 00:07:42.600 --> 00:07:43.100 "Yep." 00:07:43.100 --> 00:07:45.440 Just got your message does it work? 00:07:45.520 --> 00:07:46.680 "Yep." 00:07:46.680 --> 00:07:49.020 "I just no longer have a practical use for it." 00:07:49.020 --> 00:07:50.380 "Is it loud?" 00:07:50.400 --> 00:07:52.700 This is all reasonable questions by the way. 00:07:52.700 --> 00:07:54.600 "No, it's a membrane board." 00:07:54.660 --> 00:07:56.140 "O never mind." 00:07:56.180 --> 00:07:58.020 "You want a loud keyboard?" 00:07:58.080 --> 00:08:01.820 "Why, you have one and how much? All I have is 20. 00:08:01.820 --> 00:08:03.980 "Is it bluetooth yet it's a Bluetooth?" 00:08:04.020 --> 00:08:06.260 "YES it's a bluetooth keyboard." 00:08:06.260 --> 00:08:11.060 "How much?" "Is it wireless" "Can you send pic" 00:08:11.140 --> 00:08:16.200 "It's $20. Yes it's wireless." "Does it work with phone tablets and computers?" 00:08:16.260 --> 00:08:20.100 "The pics are in the item gallery" "what is the gray one" 00:08:20.200 --> 00:08:22.220 "the same keyboard, folded" 00:08:22.220 --> 00:08:25.540 "do you have to use the keyboard can u use it as a speaker" 00:08:25.540 --> 00:08:32.180 "It's just a keyboard." "Never mind, I'm looking for a Bluetooth speaker." *laughing* 00:08:32.180 --> 00:08:36.160 "Do you want this bowl," Created by granny. 00:08:36.160 --> 00:08:39.260 "Do you want this bowl?" "Granny added you" 00:08:39.260 --> 00:08:42.000 "Granny changed this group's icon" to the bowl 00:08:42.000 --> 00:08:46.680 "Granny left" "You're now an admin" *laughs* 00:08:46.680 --> 00:08:49.500 You're having that bowl whether you want it or not. 00:08:49.560 --> 00:08:53.820 Sounds like more of a demand for you to take this bowl, it's so funny. 00:08:53.820 --> 00:08:57.000 I never thought of that, that's brilliant, you could do that to your friends 00:08:57.000 --> 00:09:01.080 "Name something that pisses you the eff off." 00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:02.420 "Grandma is not amused." 00:09:02.420 --> 00:09:08.360 "People like you that can't express themselves without bad language." 00:09:08.460 --> 00:09:12.300 That's right. I would never swear on my watch, grandma. 00:09:12.780 --> 00:09:19.720 "60-year-old co-worker has been texting me every day for over a year." 00:09:19.740 --> 00:09:20.860 "Good morning." 00:09:20.920 --> 00:09:22.280 "Good morning." 00:09:22.540 --> 00:09:23.880 "Good morning." 00:09:24.000 --> 00:09:25.920 "Good morning." *laughing* 00:09:26.140 --> 00:09:27.840 That's kind of cute. 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:31.500 NO! I don't want any wholesome posts in these. GET OUT OF HERE. 00:09:31.500 --> 00:09:38.580 "Aunt gave birth yesterday and my grandpa was very excited." 00:09:38.580 --> 00:09:40.480 Grandpa: "Ok." 00:09:40.480 --> 00:09:43.420 *laughs* OK. OK. 00:09:43.460 --> 00:09:47.160 I mean there's really no-- you can't get more excited than okay. 00:09:47.160 --> 00:09:50.140 Everyone knows that's the pinnacle of expression. 00:09:50.140 --> 00:09:55.560 "I wish-- I wish someone loved me as much as this horse loves broccoli." 00:09:55.560 --> 00:10:01.820 What? What-- "Um lol that's a bear and a cantaloupe but ok." 00:10:01.820 --> 00:10:03.440 "WOLF AND WATERMELON!" 00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:04.720 WOLF AND WATERMELON! 00:10:04.720 --> 00:10:08.700 "Does everyone see it differently?" What do you see? 00:10:08.720 --> 00:10:13.640 "I see wolf and watermelon is this about a dress?" 00:10:13.800 --> 00:10:18.100 Are they talking about the dress that looked like it was-- what was it like purple or yellow? 00:10:18.100 --> 00:10:23.040 "This must technically count. My aunt just took a screenshot." 00:10:23.040 --> 00:10:26.580 I mean I guess. I guess it worked it looks like it did. 00:10:26.580 --> 00:10:32.140 "A woman died and her four children were injured after a crash in the valley." 00:10:32.860 --> 00:10:37.040 Sharon: "Bye!" *laughing* 00:10:37.080 --> 00:10:39.340 Absolute savage, Sharon! 00:10:39.340 --> 00:10:41.840 Goddamn. See, this is why I love old people. 00:10:41.840 --> 00:10:44.780 They have absolutely no chill whatsoever. 00:10:44.780 --> 00:10:51.600 "This seems a tad inappropriate." "Sorry don't know how to remove it, yet still learning." 00:10:51.600 --> 00:10:57.000 I love that you just have an excuse for just everything as well, "Sorry! Still learning." 00:10:57.000 --> 00:11:00.360 All my next apologies is gonna be, "Still learning!" 00:11:00.360 --> 00:11:01.800 that's what the are-- 00:11:01.800 --> 00:11:02.700 OK! 00:11:02.700 --> 00:11:06.360 That was it for old people Facebook, wasn't that a good time? 00:11:06.440 --> 00:11:10.160 Smash like, check out UglyChristmasSweater.com/pewdiepie 00:11:10.160 --> 00:11:13.040 and check out represent.com/pewdiepie 00:11:13.040 --> 00:11:14.700 because of course you wanna look this good. 00:11:14.700 --> 00:11:16.280 You wanna be comfy for Christmas? 00:11:16.280 --> 00:11:19.620 This is what you got. Ok, goodbye!