CinnamonToastKen
It is I
once again..
it's time to review another reddit..
oh my god.. idk if I'm ready
I'm really not ready my AC just came on, sorry hang on
Ken
professional youtuber!
Ken
*laughs*
It's time
for another video.
but THIS time..
we're reviewing
creepy asterisk
oh ma gawd, Felix
what are creepy asteriks?
exactly what it says (haha)
15 minutes ago
Felix: Hey Ken
Ken: Heeeeey Felix
time to record video (laughs)
Where's the asterisk at??
(laughing)
I'm really bad at this (laughs)
Ken: (reads felix's comment) FinGerS tHrOugH eYebAllS (laughs)
Jesus Christ!
Felix: okay..
Let's record bro
(felix reads ken's comment)
LET'S FRICKEN DO THIS!
That's what Creepy Asterisk is. It's when you roleplay with people
online by using ASTERISKS
Let's see how other people engage with asterisks!
Wrong number texted me last night...
Thought it belonged here.
Hi
Hey, who's this?
(creepy asterisk music plays) *clears throat*
(MHHMMM)
It's Brandon from class *sweating (chuckles) profusely*
Uh, I think you have the wrong number hA hA
*Looks down at th eground, TWIRLING THUMBS*
Shannon g-gave me your number...
That's cool but you have the wrong number...
I'm a twenty-five year old man
CMONN it's Brandon from... ECON?
I asked Shannon for your number...
Let's hang out ;)
*HAND ITCHING TO UNZIP PANTS?*
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??!
(ken laughs)
Jumping RIGHT to it!
(ken continues to die)
ah jeez
(felix and ken are now both laughing)
Brandon goes... he.. jumps into it, literally
He just gets right in there >:)
He's got that.. that itchy trigger finger.. pulls it strait out!
jezus
So this is what creepy asterisk is. Okay, now I see...
It is creepy...
Brandon you have the wrong number. I'm not a woman, I literally have a mustache.
Hey look it's you Ken!
What?
oh!
Aye! oh my god.. (pauses) this got out?
No every time I wanna unzip my pants I get this itchy hand.. UGHH BOUT TO UNLEASH MY POWER!
My friend got some weird texts from a guy she knows and decided to fight fire with fire
*Kisses your* (laughs)(stops trying to read seriously and regrets ever reading) *supple bare breasts and areolas*
*Runs finger through hair!* (very nice)
(Very intense voice) *takes my hunting knife and saws off your DICK*
(Felix laughs)
*watches you choke to death on your own genitals,* (breathes deep breath because this paragraph is very tiring)
*then disposes your body in a heavily wooded area.*
W
T
F!
What the!
(wheezes)
HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME :(
Oh my god!!!
I was kissing your breasts!
(felix gets actually annoyed) Great that'll be demonitized$$$ great.
(Wheezes because doesn't even want to read) **Please don't read it**
Thank you
Of course!
A post yesterday inspired me to try this out on my girlfriend
*gently looks to the side... shyly* h..hey there honey * puts hands on your hips* how was your day?
The was that?
*looks shocked and sad* awww... you don't want to tell me? *puts hands in pockets dejectedly*
(MYUH)
Baby don't turn into a furry
Oh it's furrys doing this
OH
NO
It's those GODDAMN FURRYS!
(laughs)
(creepy asterisk music starts playing)
Last Friday *licks your feet and giggles as you squirm*
Is that the noise you make for the winkey three face?
(MLEM)
yea
(laughs)
Okay.. what the actual fudge (christian channel!)
Are you serious with this roleplaying crap? (CHRISTIAN CHANNEL!)
or are you just memeing?
(hurt voice) Are... a-are you not into it? *Whines and hides head, thinking about how I'm such a
screw-up and how nobody likes me*
*begins to cry*
(laughs at how stupid that whole text was)
ARE YOU POOPING ME??
I am pooping you.
Nooo don't poop me:(
I want them to continue. I want like a proper horrible exchange
Do you wanna date me?
no
Fine. I'll wait a hundred years if I have to.
I'll be dead by then...
Felix: Oh okay... (creepy asterisk music plays) *PRIES OPEN YOUR CASKET* Ken: WHAT?
Felix: you don't look too bad
(ken laughs)
Felix: *lifts you out carefully from the mahogany burial box* you need a shower
(ken wheezes)
Felix: *bathes you?* (makes sense) all clean now ;)
(cringes)
Gtfo this is SICK!
Felix: (creepy asterisk music plays again) you need some milk (ken wheezes) to keep those bones healthy
Felix: *unbuckles belt*
Ken: OH GOD
NOOOO
(felix and ken dying)
(manly voice) You need some MAN MILK
EWW
*rips shirt open* *shows masculinity dominance*
*looks shocked and gasps* (felix loses sanity) *gets a little.. gets a little excited*
*eyes you up and down*
*gets angry, but then realises, I like it too* (felix cringes) (I cringe) (ken cringes) (everyone cringes and actually wants to die)
Wait what the (christian channel) was that?
*hand is itching to unzip pant-* (laughs)
*wipes sweat off brow* eh HEWO! (oh god I hate myself for writing that in)
Is this after you unzip your pants?
(felix gets very uncomfotable) ...I don't know
uh who is this?
ye- ah- you don't remember me?
*wipes away tears* its me from class!
Okay? I still don't know you but hi
wh-would you like to.. go on a wittle date with me? *stands taller!*
Nope.
AHUH
wha-why not??
You're missing out on my (creepy asterisk music plays) meat scepter. *unzips pants*
MY MEAT SCEPTER!
Oh we're doing this now.
Hold on.
*Boyfriend walks into room* WHO THE (christian channel) IS THIS?
I'M LOSING SANITY RN
OOH
(wtf laugh)
He's going with it!
*ponders zipping up pants* no, I won't be intiminated by you. *pulls out bulging MEAT SCEPTER!*
*boyfriend laughs* HOOHOOHOO is that as big as it gets?
I'm wel-well equipped. (chuckles) *presses hips into air*
AND THE DICK PIC AHH
THERE IT IS (laughs)
The meat scepter!
Finally we've been blessed!
Well that's one way to segway a dick pic Jesus Christ
Yeaah, it's like they can't wait to get their dick out.
I like how they had an anime moment.
of confrontation. "NO."
NO
I will NOT back down
I must continue
MEAT SCEPTER
MLYEEEA
MEAT SCEPTER (laughs)
Mew mew *cuddles you for no reason*
GO (cHriSTiaN ChaNnEL) YOURSELF!
(laughs) AWW SO SAD :(
Looks shocked and ejected, for my itchy zipper hand cannot be stopped.
PULLS OUT MEAT SCEPTER!
That's because I also have mine on *GIGGLES*
*I kiss you passionately*
oooh
I'm really sorry but I'm really not into asterisks :0
Oh okay, I'm sorry
(wow this person wrote an action without asterisks like a smart ass ok then)
Looks down
I'll stop
*pulls out meat scepter :(*
(ken laughs)
How 'bout this?
Ha- how 'bout that?
Hey! *blushes nervously*
Who is this?
*eyebrows furrow in sadness*
You read my message and didn't reply!:( I expected better from you..
*eyes water and I begin to cry*
It's okay, no one loves me anyways...
(ken forgets to talk) I don't still- I still don't know who the heck you are.
(felix chuckles) why is that ALWAYS the case?
He's like I don't even know you...
*sniffles through tears* it's me from homeroom
I wanted to kno-
WHY DO THEY DO THE STUTTERING EVERYTIME
I KNOW ! I DON'T UNDERSTAND
wanted to go on a date sometime
I have a boyfriend, dude, you know this
(CHRISTIAN CHANNEL!!!) (sassy voice) Fine. Be like that. *my e- (chuckles) my eyes glow blue like sans* (laughes)
(talks through laughing) I'll kill that kid myself
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME, KID
OOF blocked.
(felix tries to talk like sans)
WHAT IS THIS??!
BROTHA
I'M SO CONFUSED
Ken: What are you doing?
Ken: oh god
OH GOD
(ken wheezes)
Um, sure I guess...
*crawls in bed with you*
Hi there
haha hello
Do you use cringey asterisks often?
You want me to stop using them?:(
It's just a little weird
OK I'll stop
(talks without asterisks) touches your breasts
Understandable have a nice day
What the hell
It jus- it just goes from 0-100 every time.
It's like, "Oh hey how ya doin'?" *GROPES YOU*
meme review?
What's the uh..
Explain to me the Sasuke meme.
Why is everyone on Twitter lately choking Sasuke
I don't know
no one likes Sasuke I guess
I don't get it
It's like, theres him and then theres someone like their hand off the screen like they're gonna choke him
and I'm just like, "Why?"
It just looks funny I- I don't know
meme review ends
(ok lets jump in) Wanna furry (christian channel)
Jeseus Christ
um
*talk*
(laughs)
What do you mean by "furry talk"?
IT IS A FURRY THING!
im not writing that wtf
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
Are you still interested?
I'm batman!
Wa-wait were you serious??
What about the whole "roleplay thing"?
or...
There's always room on big papa's lap
ah, no thanks I'm good
Allow me to save this conversation
Uh you can certainly try bud.
What do you think of the rapidly growing economy of Zimbabwe?
HMMMM
WELL, NOW THAT YOU MENTION THAT...
THAT DID SAVE IT!
Crisis averted.
(laughs)
I remember you could do asterisks with, like, (pewdiebot)
Is PewDieBot still alive?
I think it is!
MY GOD
IT'S STILL ALIVE
OK lemme do- let's do uh, asterisks
I don't know how I feel about watching this... PewDieBot:No... not another Brofist!
Watching you... PewDieBot: *Brofist*
Astrisks with yourself.
(laughs)
*licks face*
*is kicked in the face and surrenders* I'll d-do anything you s-say just PWEASE NO m-mooooore!!
Accurate. This is accurate
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? THIS IS WHAT IT IS!
PEWDIEPIE NO!
NO!
PewDieBot: *is kick* I surrender PWEASE DEUTSCHLAND I surrender *shows a surrender flag and coughes out blood*!
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS??!
It's so submissive
PLEASE PLEASE NO
BURNS MEAT
AAAAAAAHHH
(laughs)
Not like this!
PewDieBot: Wait, how old are you?
OH GOD
*unbuckles bra* * takes off your shirt*
*his palms are sweaty
*licks your belly*
*knees weak arms are heavy*
I can see your belly. let me see its beauty
*theres vomit on his sweater already*
You-you're okay??
*MOM'S SPAGHETTI* OHH
GOT EM
K- konichiwa! *notices that you're a boy*
Da-does You has a girl f-friend? OwO
*Giggles my books jiggling* What? you BAKA
WHAT?!
(LAUGHS)
What the hell is this?
WHY DO YOU GOT JIGGLY BOOKS?
Felix: Okay Ken, time for outtro
Ken: My favorite part of the video!
(laughs)
Ken: We both come up with the same.. (laughing)
What Ken that's so weird!
(epic chuckle)
(Felix and Ken laughing uncontrollably)
laughing
Oh, I was writing the same thing