WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en-GB

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I can now manipulate my audience...

00:00:09.100 --> 00:00:14.300
I can now make videos without any substance....

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I can now make the same videos over and over and still stay relevant somehow

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I HAVE DYED MY HAIR

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Little teenage girls will bow before me

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They will buy all my merchandise

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They will click like on all my videos

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Some say I am the new Tana Mongeau of the internet

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Okay let's just- let's just

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take out all the comparisons

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uuuuuh

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so you can just fu-

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shu- shut up and move on

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Jack Frost

00:01:06.200 --> 00:01:07.300
Danny Phantom

00:01:08.900 --> 00:01:10.800
Dante from Dante's Inferno

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Albino kazoo kid

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*sigh*

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and people are already

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in outrage

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*reads tweet*

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have you heard of VIEWS?

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I can literally make a ten minute video

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with no substance

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about my hair

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a thing that literally anyone else on the fucking planet

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will not care about

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*reads article title*

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WHY DID HE DO IT?

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wha-ha-ha-ha

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I mean it's practically been covered

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by every news media outlet IN THE WORLD

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now speaking of pewdiepie, he tweeted out today

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saying "just thought I look really cute in this picture..

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.. I will probably delete later"

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showing here that now he dyed his hair white

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and he's putting makeup on

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so I guess pewdiepie has a whole new look now

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the fuck did you say?

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Scarce? so I guess pewdiepie has a whole new look now

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are you trying to make fun of my hair, Scarce?

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*spits* (eww)

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you piece of fucking shit

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you're mocking ME

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for my physical appearance?

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how could you do that?

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I am disappointed in you Scarce

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I thought you were better than that

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let's see what you guys thought about my haircut

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'cause your opinions matter more to me than anyone else's

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*reads tweet*

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*MCR playing*

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*reads tweet*

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oh goddammit

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forgot about Gerard

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I'm a little scared how fuckable I am with makeup

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smash or pass?

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make your pick (everyone comment SMASH!)

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*reads tweet*

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listen, I will do anything -anything-

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to get out of this youtube hellhole, okay?

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*reads tweet*

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fuck, now I'm all paranoid about my hair and shit, stop

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oh, OH SHITT i forgot!

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hey, how's it going bros, my name is peewdiepie

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and welcome to..

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fridays with peeewdiepiee

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FRIDAYS WITH PEEEEEEWDIEPIEE

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I wanted - actually - you know

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all jokes aside, I wanted to make an update video today, it's been a while

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I know I've been bitching and complaining a lot lately

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and I wanna say: I am sorry

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I wanted this video to be positive

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so let's talk about some positive things

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*thinking 'bout life*

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it's kinda hard, isn't it?

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uhh

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uhh the mod- you-.. I can't- oh I got a- oh yeah!

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I got an update on the whole moderator things

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uh I said I would add you guys as moderators

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well, turns out I can't (okay poods don't be sad)

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I tried three times now, I add people as moderators

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whenever I refresh the page, they're all gone

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so that's really good, that that feature is there

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it's not really positive, is it?

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oh, of course I know

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AYEEE Tuber has the Valentines Day update

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it's actually really cool

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I know a lot of you are like:

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"uhh, no one plays the game anymore"

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yeah, really- really funny

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there is a lot of people playing the game

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myself included!

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and in fact, anyone who is cool like me

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is playing the game, look how I'm playing right now

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this event is only lasting twelve days

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so if you wanna get like the unique items

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you can only get it during these days

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so if you have the game, install, check it out

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and download, uhh

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there's also a new feature called 'Networks'

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where you basically can join eachothers networks

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it's pretty cool

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you can join my network

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called: plzkillme

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honestly, I am blown away by the creativity of people playing the game

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'cause the net- the online feature is working really well now

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I think when the game was new

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there was too many people playing it

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and it just didn't work properly

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seeing how well people implement the themes

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is just- it's so cool to see people being creative

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so this- this theme was pewdiepie

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this is the winner, it's so cool

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uhh, this is the second, this is the third

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oh yeah, I ranked 232 in my own fucking game

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about myself

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*claps*

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bravo me, good job Felix

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a lot of you guys have also been asking about Slippy,

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is he alive? haha pff

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I wouldn't just kill Slippy, I'm not a fucking psychopath

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clip of previous video -go watch it if you haven't already-

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oh wait..

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anyway, I'll show you-

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look, he's fine

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say something slippy, tell them you're fine

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just don't shit on me right now

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you look like Draco Malfoy caught aids

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wh- ehh

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Slippy, you did not have to comment about my hair

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it's a compliment

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okay fine

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you wanna go back, don't you?

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how 'bout you give me a kiss first?

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no please, the aids

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thank you

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see, he didn't even take a shit

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bluhh

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oh shit, I forgot about the most important update

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we're in the office, ehh

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we are in the old penguin-

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penguin- club penguin office

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and last video I did

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you guys basically crashed the servers of the game

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so I'm proud of you, basically our job was to- to stop penguin from dying

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and we crashed the servers that's-

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that's pretty good

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I love this new office, it's coming together really nicely

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downstairs, we're literally shooting a show

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called: Scare Pewdiepie: Game Over

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not sure if I'm allowed to say that, but it's really cool!

00:08:19.820 --> 00:08:22.980
they r- they literally built the set in like, just a few days

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and we can use it afterwards, so

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I'm so proud, I'm so- I hehehehe

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I really love doing bigger show and stuff like that

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the problem is I don't have time for it,

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it always involves me like going to LA or something like that

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and the fact that I can literally just go downstairs

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to shoot a show

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is so fucking cool to me

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I'm so thrilled about this office

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and I really, really, really

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don't wanna get thrown out

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but yeah, it's almost like a dream come true to just have everything here

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I love this space,

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umm

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more youtubers coming in: PJ's been using it a lot,

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um, Marzia's been using it and uhh

00:08:58.880 --> 00:09:00.980
it's just got a good vibe in there, I really enjoy it

00:09:01.580 --> 00:09:03.320
so, there's a lot of stuff going on..

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here is the set

00:09:06.040 --> 00:09:11.400
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMarkiplierrrrrrrrrrr

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It's CinnamonToastKen everyone

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uuuh uuull

00:09:16.740 --> 00:09:18.420
just kidding, it's Edgar

00:09:22.200 --> 00:09:22.700
JEEZ

00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:24.040
oh my God..

00:09:24.940 --> 00:09:25.740
I broke it..

00:09:26.840 --> 00:09:27.340
oh no..

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if anyone asks, that was not me, okay?

00:09:31.060 --> 00:09:33.960
so stepping up the game in 2017

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haha

00:09:35.160 --> 00:09:37.600
this is not a vlogging camera, this is fucking awkward as hell to hold

00:09:37.900 --> 00:09:38.700
we have this

00:09:38.920 --> 00:09:40.440
chalk-pillar

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that's everyone's been

00:09:42.980 --> 00:09:46.900
drawing all kinds of shit on, PJ especially and his friends

00:09:49.920 --> 00:09:52.800
I especially appreciate this Donald Trump

00:09:52.800 --> 00:09:55.140
I know a lot of people are going to look at this and be like:

00:09:55.180 --> 00:09:59.420
"Oh PewDiePie has an office now, he's treating youtube as a job"

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I always used to think that

00:10:01.100 --> 00:10:01.680
it would - ehh

00:10:01.680 --> 00:10:03.520
I had so much advantage, because

00:10:03.520 --> 00:10:05.920
it's like I could just record at home and I can just do

00:10:05.920 --> 00:10:07.380
everything at home, but I find that

00:10:07.380 --> 00:10:13.320
it's so much better to seperate your home and my job, I guess youtube is my job there you go everyone

00:10:13.420 --> 00:10:16.940
I waste less time if I go somewhere to record my videos

00:10:17.140 --> 00:10:20.480
and when I'm home, I can just relax, and turn everything off

00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:22.260
which is really hard as a youtuber

00:10:22.520 --> 00:10:26.260
so, pro tip: if you're a youtuber and you can afford getting an office

00:10:26.660 --> 00:10:27.540
get an office!

00:10:27.820 --> 00:10:29.260
anyway, let's go back

00:10:29.260 --> 00:10:32.040
Jesus Christ Ainsley is fucking terrifying

00:10:32.160 --> 00:10:32.660
my God

00:10:32.660 --> 00:10:35.440
so that's, you know, actually something positive

00:10:35.440 --> 00:10:36.240
hey, I did it!

00:10:37.060 --> 00:10:38.660
didn't even have to force it out

00:10:38.920 --> 00:10:42.640
okay, well I need to force out some, some positivity as well

00:10:42.640 --> 00:10:43.900
so, it feels really good

00:10:44.300 --> 00:10:44.800
to

00:10:45.200 --> 00:10:48.880
just sit down, and not having to get ready and talk to you guys

00:10:48.880 --> 00:10:51.680
just wanna apologize for the way I look and the way I sound ( why?? )

00:10:52.260 --> 00:10:54.100
you guys are my best friends

00:10:54.240 --> 00:10:56.880
I always wanna keep it real with you guys

00:10:56.880 --> 00:11:02.860
but honestly it feels really really good just to not have to get ready and like, sit down and talk to you guys

00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:03.620
uhm, no

00:11:03.880 --> 00:11:07.440
for real, thank you for all the support as always

00:11:07.440 --> 00:11:12.400
I feel like people are finally getting over these fucking comments with like,

00:11:12.920 --> 00:11:15.880
"I wi- I wish- I wish he'd just play a game", and

00:11:16.740 --> 00:11:20.500
and all these fucking like, "I prefer poodiepie in 1984"

00:11:20.500 --> 00:11:22.100
I've seen people making these jokes

00:11:22.160 --> 00:11:23.440
instead and that's

00:11:23.440 --> 00:11:26.340
it's really nice that people are finally getting over it

00:11:26.340 --> 00:11:27.940
and I just kinda can do what I want

00:11:27.940 --> 00:11:30.460
and people appreciating me doing what I want

00:11:31.080 --> 00:11:31.880
uhh, as well

00:11:32.320 --> 00:11:34.300
I know I focus a lot on the negative,

00:11:34.300 --> 00:11:35.800
that doesn't mean I don't see the positive

00:11:35.860 --> 00:11:39.220
and uh, I apologize about if I'm always after like,

00:11:39.220 --> 00:11:40.680
the dumb shit people say

00:11:40.680 --> 00:11:42.140
and only giving them attention 'cause

00:11:42.140 --> 00:11:43.280
there's a lot of you

00:11:43.280 --> 00:11:45.020
that are genuinely nice people

00:11:45.400 --> 00:11:45.900
and

00:11:45.900 --> 00:11:47.840
uhh, you deserve some love too

00:11:47.840 --> 00:11:50.140
so hey, if you ever left me a nice comment

00:11:50.140 --> 00:11:51.100
I want you right now

00:11:51.260 --> 00:11:52.380
to take your hand

00:11:53.140 --> 00:11:54.020
and place it-

00:11:55.440 --> 00:11:57.120
place it behind your back

00:11:57.140 --> 00:11:57.640
and

00:11:57.820 --> 00:11:58.700
pat yourself

00:11:58.740 --> 00:12:00.020
give yourself a pat

00:12:00.020 --> 00:12:01.900
and imagine that it's my hand

00:12:01.900 --> 00:12:04.340
don't do- don't get all weird and sexual

00:12:04.340 --> 00:12:06.900
it's just- it's just a nice little gesture

00:12:06.900 --> 00:12:08.900
so that we can do this together

00:12:08.900 --> 00:12:10.480
tha- okay that's enough thank you

00:12:13.200 --> 00:12:14.320
that being said,

00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:18.520
that's all I had to say hehehehehehe