(catches pewdie vapin)
am i dead? (rip)
(sniff)
(inhales vape)
(sound of disgust)
why does my eyes hurt?
(???)
(hah)
The rules
of the internet
Yes, it does exist
It's cringy as fck
someone actually wrote this sht
RULE NUMBER ONE
There are no girls on the internet
(wig)
It's actually true
(cheeky voice) Do not talk about "/b/"
(cringe)
I'm not gonna read the rest of it
But there is one rule in particular
that is still relevant
to
this
day
(braces self)
I'm talking of course
About rule 34
(nyoom)
(epic music as we descend into the depths of hell)
There is porn of it, no exceptions
so basically
If I would say something outrageous
like
pterodactyls
Those fcking dinosaurs, with the wings
(probably not a pterodactyl noise)
Ok lets search
you know what? Why not?
pterodactyl porn
Wait, what the fck is this?
(suspense)
There's a video
2M views, thats-- oH MY GODD
o H MY GO D!
whA T THE FC K
tHAT WAS JUST A JOKE
I DIDNT THINK THERE WOULD ACTUALLY
OH MY GOD
NO
GOD
GOD DAMN IT
FC K
who would accept this???
pTERODACTYLS MAN!
(VOICE CRACK) THEY USED TO BE MY FAVORITE DINOSAUR
needless to say--
DON'T flag this fcking video
just because of this
alright?
y'all just flag every video
even though I censor it
The joke of this video was supposed to be
That I'm gonna search something
It's not gonna show up
So we are gonna make it
Now-- There is this website
uh
ahh
a friend
(hACK)
friend told me about this web
I don't haven't heard of it (sure)
It's uh Rule 34
So basically
Lets say if I would show
Type "Pewdiepie" here
There should technically
(belch)
oh my god
what the fffff
wHAT
T HE
FACKIN' SHIT
goD damn it
Why am I always the bottom bitch???
Ok, alright
God, I can't
Alright, I'm gonna come up with something so crazy
there's not gonna be porn of it
We're gonna make it
We're gonna draw our own
(knuckle smooch for good luck)
alright, lets think here
(80's thinking montage)
>
There is no fcking way
There's snickers porn
(wrong)
oh my fcking god
o h my god
why
(Reading)"Wow!! Americans snacks are huge!!"
"I love big american cock-olate"
lamps
ain't nothing sexual
about lamps
(wRONG)
oh my god
of course
how the--
how did i not see that??
what about a cd??
(WRONG)
pfft-- (snort)
(laughter)
(god damn it)
what about a shopping cart?
aint nothing sexual 'bout a shopping cart (wait for it)
(wr wr wroNG)
ah for f CK SAKE
'kay, wha-- we gotta think deeper
if we're gonna beat this game
we gotta think deeper
now what
possibly
could not be sexualized
tHINK with me
hELP god damn it!
(table slam) HELP ME G OD DAMN IT
(lightbulb)
(sensual) of course
something that is already sexual
bUTTS
come on
cOME ON
(moment of truth)
(viCTORY) YASS
(VICTORIOUS MUSIC)
I BEAT YOU
(VICTORIOUS MUS I C)
(guttural sound of satisfaction)
so now
we're gonna make our own
(artist mode engaged)
kay
alright so here we go
oh
man its hard to
draw...
okay so we got a butt here(?)
have a nice-- he has a nice
uhm (brainfart)
sUIT
poppin' home from work
...im drawing a cleavage on a butt
(pride)
this is great
does the butts have butts?? (why are you asking us)
ye
yeah, they must have butts
okay well there ya go!
we filled an empty hole on the internet today (you sure did)
u should all be prouD (personal space)
what about boobs
(type type)
(???)
oh my gOD
wE FOUND A LOOPHOLE
(back to artist mode) okay
uhm
(enhance on the tiddies)
look at that
they love each other (12 y/o snort)
(oh god wh y)
okay i got it
car
(transformers porn)
aint nothing sexual about that
(ayyy yo wrong)
holy fucking shit i was wrong
noW WHAT IN EVERYTHING HOLY
THE FUCK IS THIS
(pours bleach to cleanse memory)
(drinks it too)
(ah) i wanna die :)
alright what about this;
CONTINENTS
(internet strikes again)
what the fuck
dont turn sweden into a peNIS
and a snail--
(hysterical) IS THAT A SNAIL?
GOD DAMN IT
(agony)
this can never be unseen
sweden
okay whats sexual about sweden
(sips water)
what in the
jesus fucking christ is wrong with you guys
what about a toilet (pewdie no)
please, god
dont ruin toilets for me
(no mercy)
oh my fucking god
that is fucked up, alright
oH MY GOD
im not even gonna show that cause youre not gonna be hap
youre not going to be a happier person
what about an ipad
(spits out faith in humanity)
(dying a little)
what
the
fuCK
why would you do that
W H Y
the pony stuff
its so fucking weird
what 'bout MATH
PFFT
wh
are you fuckin kidding me (laughing)
"guide to making rule 34;"
"take a character,"
"(likely underage from the 1980s"
jesus christ (same)
"remove clothing,"
"step 3:"
"spit in gods eyE"
(immature snicker)
well i couldnt have but it in a better way myself
what about a videogame console
pff--(laughter)
(HUE)
(laughter)
theres the DS in the background too
(snORT)
who the fuck had TWO dreamcasts??
those shits were so expensive
what about rule 34 itself?? (we're going deeper)
(closely examines)
oh my fucking god
people are fucking insane
oh my god
i cant do this shit anymore ;-;
(turns to alcoholism)
(slam)
i cant do this anymore
im done
y'all sICK
y'all sick
now excuse me
im going to bleach my eyes
(sound of regret and agony)
(agony)
(slAM)
(drunk sob)
iM BLIND
okay bruh--
bros
whatever you do
DONT flag this video
it will all have been for nothing if you do
#2
...
i forgot
#3
like this video
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on my path to madness
as always--
(smooch)
BROFIST (pﾟﾛﾟ)==p)`д)
(´･ω･｀)
(っ´ω｀c)
┌（・Σ・）┘≡З