WEBVTT
Kind: captions
Language: en-GB

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(catches pewdie vapin)

00:00:02.220 --> 00:00:03.380
am i dead? (rip)

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(sniff)

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(inhales vape)

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(sound of disgust)

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why does my eyes hurt?

00:00:15.040 --> 00:00:15.860
(???)

00:00:16.640 --> 00:00:17.380
(hah)

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The rules

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of the internet

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Yes, it does exist

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It's cringy as fck

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someone actually wrote this sht

00:00:26.400 --> 00:00:27.520
RULE NUMBER ONE

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There are no girls on the internet

00:00:30.120 --> 00:00:30.620
(wig)

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It's actually true

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(cheeky voice) Do not talk about "/b/"

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(cringe)

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I'm not gonna read the rest of it

00:00:38.920 --> 00:00:41.240
But there is one rule in particular

00:00:41.440 --> 00:00:42.580
that is still relevant

00:00:42.580 --> 00:00:43.080
to

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this

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day

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(braces self)

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I'm talking of course

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About rule 34

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(nyoom)

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(epic music as we descend into the depths of hell)

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There is porn of it, no exceptions

00:01:06.600 --> 00:01:08.000
so basically

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If I would say something outrageous

00:01:10.980 --> 00:01:11.480
like

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pterodactyls

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Those fcking dinosaurs, with the wings

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(probably not a pterodactyl noise)

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Ok lets search

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you know what? Why not?

00:01:18.680 --> 00:01:20.040
pterodactyl porn

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Wait, what the fck is this?

00:01:21.860 --> 00:01:23.480
(suspense)

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There's a video

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2M views, thats-- oH MY GODD

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o H MY GO D!

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whA T THE FC K

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tHAT WAS JUST A JOKE

00:01:33.560 --> 00:01:35.160
I DIDNT THINK THERE WOULD ACTUALLY

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OH MY GOD

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NO

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GOD

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GOD DAMN IT

00:01:37.660 --> 00:01:38.160
FC K

00:01:38.160 --> 00:01:39.680
who would accept this???

00:01:39.800 --> 00:01:41.080
pTERODACTYLS MAN!

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(VOICE CRACK) THEY USED TO BE MY FAVORITE DINOSAUR

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needless to say--

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DON'T  flag this fcking video

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just because of this

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alright?

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y'all just flag every video

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even though I censor it

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The joke of this video was supposed to be

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That I'm gonna search something

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It's not gonna show up

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So we are gonna make it

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Now-- There is this website

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uh

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ahh

00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:01.340
a friend

00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:02.180
(hACK)

00:02:02.180 --> 00:02:03.400
friend told me about this web

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I don't haven't heard of it (sure)

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It's uh Rule 34

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So basically

00:02:07.380 --> 00:02:08.900
Lets say if I would show

00:02:08.900 --> 00:02:10.280
Type "Pewdiepie" here

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There should technically

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(belch)

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oh my god

00:02:13.460 --> 00:02:14.200
what the fffff

00:02:14.460 --> 00:02:14.960
wHAT

00:02:15.360 --> 00:02:15.860
T HE

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FACKIN' SHIT

00:02:17.540 --> 00:02:18.460
goD damn it

00:02:18.840 --> 00:02:20.700
Why am I always the bottom bitch???

00:02:21.060 --> 00:02:22.100
Ok, alright

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God, I can't

00:02:23.260 --> 00:02:25.620
Alright, I'm gonna come up with something so crazy

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there's not gonna be porn of it

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We're gonna make it

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We're gonna draw our own

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(knuckle smooch for good luck)

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alright, lets think here

00:02:32.080 --> 00:02:43.860
(80's thinking montage)

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>

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There is no fcking way

00:02:47.260 --> 00:02:48.640
There's snickers porn

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(wrong)

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oh my fcking god

00:02:52.480 --> 00:02:53.160
o h my god

00:02:55.280 --> 00:02:55.780
why

00:02:57.020 --> 00:03:00.400
(Reading)"Wow!! Americans snacks are huge!!"

00:03:00.840 --> 00:03:03.640
"I love big american cock-olate"

00:03:04.080 --> 00:03:04.740
lamps

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ain't nothing sexual

00:03:06.740 --> 00:03:07.540
about lamps

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(wRONG)

00:03:08.120 --> 00:03:08.680
oh my god

00:03:09.240 --> 00:03:09.900
oh my god

00:03:09.960 --> 00:03:10.600
of course

00:03:10.600 --> 00:03:11.460
how the--

00:03:11.460 --> 00:03:12.520
how did i not see that??

00:03:12.520 --> 00:03:14.180
what about a cd??

00:03:14.180 --> 00:03:14.680
(WRONG)

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pfft-- (snort)

00:03:15.700 --> 00:03:16.900
(laughter)

00:03:16.900 --> 00:03:18.660
(god damn it)

00:03:19.140 --> 00:03:20.660
what about a shopping cart?

00:03:21.080 --> 00:03:23.960
aint nothing sexual 'bout a shopping cart (wait for it)

00:03:23.960 --> 00:03:24.640
(wr wr wroNG)

00:03:24.640 --> 00:03:25.420
ah for f CK SAKE

00:03:26.000 --> 00:03:27.500
'kay, wha-- we gotta think deeper

00:03:27.880 --> 00:03:29.500
if we're gonna beat this game

00:03:29.500 --> 00:03:31.060
we gotta think deeper

00:03:31.060 --> 00:03:31.720
now what

00:03:32.080 --> 00:03:32.980
possibly

00:03:32.980 --> 00:03:34.960
could not be sexualized

00:03:35.640 --> 00:03:36.520
tHINK with me

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hELP god damn it!

00:03:37.840 --> 00:03:39.840
(table slam) HELP ME G OD DAMN IT

00:03:40.200 --> 00:03:41.220
(lightbulb)

00:03:41.220 --> 00:03:42.400
(sensual) of course

00:03:42.400 --> 00:03:44.400
something that is already sexual

00:03:45.720 --> 00:03:46.400
bUTTS

00:03:46.400 --> 00:03:47.580
come on

00:03:48.320 --> 00:03:49.580
cOME ON

00:03:49.580 --> 00:03:51.820
(moment of truth)

00:03:52.640 --> 00:03:53.820
(viCTORY) YASS

00:03:53.820 --> 00:03:55.100
(VICTORIOUS MUSIC)

00:03:55.100 --> 00:03:55.840
I BEAT YOU

00:03:55.840 --> 00:03:57.360
(VICTORIOUS MUS I C)

00:03:57.360 --> 00:03:58.840
(guttural sound of satisfaction)

00:03:58.840 --> 00:03:59.580
so now

00:03:59.580 --> 00:04:00.620
we're gonna make our own

00:04:00.620 --> 00:04:01.340
(artist mode engaged)

00:04:01.340 --> 00:04:01.840
kay

00:04:02.460 --> 00:04:03.840
alright so here we go

00:04:03.840 --> 00:04:04.340
oh

00:04:04.920 --> 00:04:06.140
man its hard to

00:04:07.640 --> 00:04:08.500
draw...

00:04:08.800 --> 00:04:10.820
okay so we got a butt here(?)

00:04:11.480 --> 00:04:13.380
have a nice-- he has a nice

00:04:14.620 --> 00:04:15.120
uhm (brainfart)

00:04:15.240 --> 00:04:15.940
sUIT

00:04:16.260 --> 00:04:17.780
poppin' home from work

00:04:18.420 --> 00:04:20.060
...im drawing a cleavage on a butt

00:04:20.060 --> 00:04:21.360
(pride)

00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:22.640
this is great

00:04:22.760 --> 00:04:24.820
does the butts have butts?? (why are you asking us)

00:04:26.120 --> 00:04:26.620
ye

00:04:26.620 --> 00:04:28.200
yeah, they must have butts

00:04:28.200 --> 00:04:29.680
okay well there ya go!

00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:32.800
we filled an empty hole on the internet today (you sure did)

00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:34.640
u should all be prouD (personal space)

00:04:34.640 --> 00:04:35.860
what about boobs

00:04:36.140 --> 00:04:37.100
(type type)

00:04:38.020 --> 00:04:38.520
(???)

00:04:38.520 --> 00:04:39.420
oh my gOD

00:04:39.420 --> 00:04:41.140
wE FOUND A LOOPHOLE

00:04:41.140 --> 00:04:41.640
(back to artist mode) okay

00:04:41.840 --> 00:04:42.420
uhm

00:04:42.420 --> 00:04:55.980
(enhance on the tiddies)

00:04:55.980 --> 00:04:56.480
look at that

00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:58.060
they love each other (12 y/o snort)

00:05:00.900 --> 00:05:02.200
(oh god wh y)

00:05:02.800 --> 00:05:03.780
okay i got it

00:05:03.780 --> 00:05:04.280
car

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(transformers porn)

00:05:05.100 --> 00:05:06.720
aint nothing sexual about that

00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:07.220
(ayyy yo wrong)

00:05:08.040 --> 00:05:09.860
holy fucking shit i was wrong

00:05:10.360 --> 00:05:12.040
noW WHAT IN EVERYTHING HOLY

00:05:12.040 --> 00:05:13.660
THE FUCK IS THIS

00:05:13.660 --> 00:05:15.140
(pours bleach to cleanse memory)

00:05:15.660 --> 00:05:16.700
(drinks it too)

00:05:17.680 --> 00:05:18.780
(ah) i wanna die :)

00:05:18.900 --> 00:05:20.180
alright what about this;

00:05:20.740 --> 00:05:21.820
CONTINENTS

00:05:21.820 --> 00:05:22.320
(internet strikes again)

00:05:22.320 --> 00:05:22.820
what the fuck

00:05:22.820 --> 00:05:24.780
dont turn sweden into a peNIS

00:05:25.700 --> 00:05:26.200
and a snail--

00:05:26.200 --> 00:05:27.320
(hysterical) IS THAT A SNAIL?

00:05:27.940 --> 00:05:29.020
GOD DAMN IT

00:05:29.460 --> 00:05:30.020
(agony)

00:05:30.460 --> 00:05:32.120
this can never be unseen

00:05:32.820 --> 00:05:33.520
sweden

00:05:33.880 --> 00:05:35.740
okay whats sexual about sweden

00:05:35.900 --> 00:05:36.400
(sips water)

00:05:36.760 --> 00:05:37.260
what in the

00:05:37.320 --> 00:05:40.440
jesus fucking christ is wrong with you guys

00:05:41.380 --> 00:05:42.440
what about a toilet (pewdie no)

00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:43.660
please, god

00:05:43.660 --> 00:05:44.980
dont ruin toilets for me

00:05:45.180 --> 00:05:45.780
(no mercy)

00:05:45.880 --> 00:05:47.540
oh my fucking god

00:05:47.540 --> 00:05:49.540
that is fucked up, alright

00:05:49.540 --> 00:05:51.540
oH MY GOD

00:05:53.600 --> 00:05:56.240
im not even gonna show that cause youre not gonna be hap

00:05:56.240 --> 00:05:58.140
youre not going to be a happier person

00:05:59.080 --> 00:06:00.540
what about an ipad

00:06:00.780 --> 00:06:01.640
(spits out faith in humanity)

00:06:04.680 --> 00:06:05.720
(dying a little)

00:06:07.840 --> 00:06:08.340
what

00:06:08.340 --> 00:06:08.840
the

00:06:08.840 --> 00:06:09.860
fuCK

00:06:11.680 --> 00:06:12.760
why would you do that

00:06:12.900 --> 00:06:13.400
W H Y

00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:14.400
the pony stuff

00:06:14.540 --> 00:06:16.100
its so fucking weird

00:06:16.340 --> 00:06:17.340
what 'bout MATH

00:06:17.940 --> 00:06:18.800
PFFT

00:06:20.700 --> 00:06:21.200
wh

00:06:21.200 --> 00:06:23.140
are you fuckin kidding me (laughing)

00:06:24.020 --> 00:06:25.680
"guide to making rule 34;"

00:06:25.680 --> 00:06:26.700
"take a character,"

00:06:27.340 --> 00:06:29.680
"(likely underage from the 1980s"

00:06:29.680 --> 00:06:30.620
jesus christ (same)

00:06:31.340 --> 00:06:32.440
"remove clothing,"

00:06:33.480 --> 00:06:33.980
"step 3:"

00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:36.220
"spit in gods eyE"

00:06:36.220 --> 00:06:36.820
(immature snicker)

00:06:38.140 --> 00:06:40.220
well i couldnt have but it in a better way myself

00:06:40.280 --> 00:06:42.220
what about a videogame console

00:06:42.940 --> 00:06:44.280
pff--(laughter)

00:06:44.940 --> 00:06:45.440
(HUE)

00:06:45.580 --> 00:06:46.820
(laughter)

00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:49.320
theres the DS in the background too

00:06:49.320 --> 00:06:50.360
(snORT)

00:06:50.420 --> 00:06:52.360
who the fuck had TWO dreamcasts??

00:06:53.020 --> 00:06:54.440
those shits were so expensive

00:06:54.860 --> 00:06:57.080
what about rule 34 itself?? (we're going deeper)

00:06:57.620 --> 00:06:59.160
(closely examines)

00:06:59.160 --> 00:07:00.340
oh my fucking god

00:07:00.340 --> 00:07:01.860
people are fucking insane

00:07:01.860 --> 00:07:03.020
oh my god

00:07:03.140 --> 00:07:05.020
i cant do this shit anymore ;-;

00:07:05.020 --> 00:07:07.260
(turns to alcoholism)

00:07:07.260 --> 00:07:07.760
(slam)

00:07:07.760 --> 00:07:09.480
i cant do this anymore

00:07:11.820 --> 00:07:12.500
im done

00:07:12.960 --> 00:07:13.780
y'all sICK

00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:14.740
y'all sick

00:07:14.740 --> 00:07:15.920
now excuse me

00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:17.920
im going to bleach my eyes

00:07:18.840 --> 00:07:20.760
(sound of regret and agony)

00:07:21.360 --> 00:07:21.980
(agony)

00:07:23.140 --> 00:07:23.640
(slAM)

00:07:24.260 --> 00:07:25.300
(drunk sob)

00:07:27.020 --> 00:07:27.760
iM BLIND

00:07:28.020 --> 00:07:28.660
okay bruh--

00:07:29.240 --> 00:07:29.740
bros

00:07:30.480 --> 00:07:31.740
whatever you do

00:07:32.260 --> 00:07:34.180
DONT flag this video

00:07:35.360 --> 00:07:37.460
it will all have been for nothing if you do

00:07:38.380 --> 00:07:39.340
#2

00:07:39.620 --> 00:07:40.420
...

00:07:40.820 --> 00:07:41.500
i forgot

00:07:41.740 --> 00:07:42.600
#3

00:07:42.820 --> 00:07:43.980
like this video

00:07:44.420 --> 00:07:46.980
subscribe for more quality content like this  v

00:07:47.420 --> 00:07:48.200
and join me

00:07:48.200 --> 00:07:49.880
on my path to madness

00:07:50.220 --> 00:07:50.980
as always--

00:07:50.980 --> 00:07:51.480
(smooch)

00:07:51.740 --> 00:07:53.080
BROFIST (pﾟﾛﾟ)==p)`д)

00:07:53.820 --> 00:07:59.040
(´･ω･｀)

00:07:59.040 --> 00:08:03.480
(っ´ω｀c)

00:08:04.520 --> 00:08:05.020
┌（・Σ・）┘≡З