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Kind: captions
Language: en

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Stream Fails: Can't live without them or can't live with them? Stream fails.

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Stream fails.mp4

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With the amount I'm streaming lately?

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Check it out by the way. Check out my streams.

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Make sure you hit that "sponsor" button.

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Become a "dumpling nation".

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I'm bound to end up on this list, at some point.

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You know I'm gonna slip up. It's bound to happen.

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IN THE MEANWHILE, we're gonna laugh at other people!

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"Can I get some 'tat Love' and 'tat Hype' in the chat for all the Cyclones here with me"?

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"The Cyclones??"

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"What team is the Cyclones?" *searches on Google*

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*laughs*

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*laugh?*  Man: "Cincinnati Cyclones..?"

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*another laugh?*

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Tim:"Based out of Ohio."

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Tim: "Well, I've been alive 25 years and I have heard nothing of this team.

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So apparently, they're pretty bad but hey. Wahoo!"

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He's trolling, right?

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He's trolling.

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He has to be trolling.

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*Weird alien language*

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Tim: "Oh wait!" (TIM)

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Tim: "Wait!"

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"I'm wearing this!- don't odd shot it! That was way too long right?"

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That wasn't 40 seconds. Gosh dang it!"

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Tim: "I forgot that I was wearing this..."

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Tim: "Damn it!"

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Tim: "Alright, stream's done for the day."

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Yeah.

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Yeah, you should probably just quit streaming.

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I KNEW IT!

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I KNEW IT!

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I know the people wearing those kind of shirts don't actually care about the team!

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Same thing with... band shirts.

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"Metallica, uh -what is that?"

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Tim: "Cincinnati Cyclones: a professional Hockey team, based out of Ohio."

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Tim: "Well, I've been alive 25 times and I have heard NOTHING of this team. So-"

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I mean, he's been alive for 25 years and he has heard NOTHING of this team.

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Whatsoever!

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Oh, that's brilliant! That's so funny.

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"Come on, Tim!"

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"Use Your f**king head, its on your shirt!"

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Why are you wearing the shirt?!

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Yeah, that's what i want to know! WHY ARE YOU WEARING THE SHIRT??

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Oh God, what is this?

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What-

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No.

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No, I don't like this.

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W-why di- Why did-

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Why did she piss herself?

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"Drunk idiot wets herself every - everybady pay subscription, ok?"

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If I piss myself,

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If I'd notice that I'd piss myself,

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Which wouldn't happen by the way. It would never happen and it HAS NEVER happened.

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Shut up!

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It has never happened but if it happened,

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You made sure- I'd make sure I'll turn that camera off I'll be like...

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"Excuse me for a minute, it would seem I need to 'relieve' myself...

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..over at the bathroom and it DID NOT happen... right here in my chair..."

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She's like proudly flaunting it and sh*t.

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It's typical stream girls. They can't help themselves.

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Any chance they get to show off their bottoms, they'll take it.

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"What's the max level in Pokémon go?"

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Okay, I'm not gonna read the title. I just want to know what's happening.

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When I figure... okay. I get it, I get it now.

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"Um, I'm pretty sure it's the level I am."

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"24. I think I'm the highest level in the entire game."

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I'm level 27 and I stopped playing like what? 8 mo- a year ago?

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"What's that under your bed?" (Busted)

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"Umm, probably a uh..." *Trying to think of an object*

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"... a uh, a guitar?"

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Oh probably, yeah.

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Probably.

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*Blows out laughters*

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Oh, that was good.

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That was really good.

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"Anyone see the vibrator in the back?"

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"I think I'm the highest level in the entire game."

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"Yeah."

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"What's that under your bed?"

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"Um, probably a..."

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"Probably a guitar."

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As you can see here, the guitar is underneath the bed, everyone.

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"A uh... a uh, guitar?

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"Probably a uh.."

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"Probably a uh... a uh, guitar?"

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Probably.

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Yeah, probably.

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You know what? Probably it is.

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Probably it's a guitar. What is that behind me!?

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Ah, that's uh... probably...

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a-a ?guit-ar?

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It's probably a guitar, I don't need to check or anything.

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It's not like I see it in the video. I'ma just move this...

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Might just move this...

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...gameplay over here so you can see it a little better.

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That's right. Better ;)

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It's funnier not to read the title. I feel like.

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"Omg stop stop! I got a butterfly knife. I've got a butterfly knife."

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"I'VE GOT A BUTTERFLY KNIFE!"

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*excitement*

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"Omg. That's gotta be worth like, $400.

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"Sh*t, I think I just sh*t myself."

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Oh no.

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"I f*cking just actually shit myself..."

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"F*CK!"

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"Why does this always happen?!"

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*Disgusting*

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*PEWDS IS ANALYZING*

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*Still thinking*

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Why do they keep sh*tting themselves?

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How excited can you be for a...

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...fictional knife?

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I can sort of understand if you're overly confident and you're like "that's a fart."

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And then you mess up.

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But getting so excited that you sh*t yourself...

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Nah fam. That ain't cool, man.

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You don't deserve the butterfly knife.

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"You are not playing!"

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"GET OFF!!!"

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"Stop screaming!"

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"GET OFF!!"

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Do you think he thought he muted there?

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"I AM GONNA PULL OUT ALL THOSE WIRES SO SHUT IT OFF AND GET BACK IN BED!!"

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"DON'T INGORE ME, ADAM!"

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"MUM??"

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"I've been sleeping all day."

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"I don't care. Get back in bed."

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This is just too cringey for me. I can't- It's too relatable.

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I'm just kidding, not really.

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"...and yes I'm screaming on purpose!"

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"So all of them can hear!"

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"Mom, they can't hear now."

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I knew he forgot to mute!

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"Get in bed right now!"

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I want to see him realize he forgot the microphone.

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Ohhh sh*t. It was freaking on the whole time?

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*laughs*

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Ohhh! That ending made it worth it! Yesss!

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*more laughter*

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Ohhh! God Bless.

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Oh, I've seen this one. This is amazing, it's this Japanese guy.

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"Minecraft Player Livestream, House Fire"

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He's showing off his lighter, right?

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But he put in lighter flu- uhhh.... what's it called?

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Lighter fluid? Ain't it?

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So we don't- ugh, which tends to burn.

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And as you can see, he has no shortage of flammables here in the back?

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Awww, oh no.

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Ughhhh....

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No, look behind you please. Look behind you.

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Oh God no.

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That's not gonna do it. That's not gonna suffocate the fire.

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Suffocate the fire. Take off your t-shirt.

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Oh no.

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Use the pillow! Oh my god no. You're so, Oh god-

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You're adding more flammables to the flammables-

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Ohhhh....

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This is painful.

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There should be an instructional video what not to do.

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He's- he's just running away-

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Okay. That's, that's--

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Great. Well, I read afterwards that uh...

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...he was fine. No one got hurt, which is what's important.

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And take this as a lesson of uh,

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....What not to do, okay?

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Wait someone's mom appeared in a bikini? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Bjergsen's mom!

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BJERGSEN'S MOOOM!!

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He has got it goin on! That's not a bikini, boys. That ain't no bikini.

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"Are you starting your stream?" "Yep!"

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"Oh!"

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"Okay, after this game okay, I wish that after this game,"

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"Yeah"

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"You just started."

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"That's right."

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"Okay!"

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"What time is it in America?"

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"I don't know, I've lost track of all time since you've moved back to China."

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"Awww~"

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How long does this go- Oh My God. This is the most awkward interaction.

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What is happening with the chat? I don't-

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"Oh, by the way, Trump!"

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"Uhh..."

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"There is this word. I saw a lot of times today, it is called "F-A-G"."

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"I search it in Google translate but, there is no such result. What does that mean?"

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"What? You lied. If you search that in Google, you get a lot of hits."

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"But I think that the, I think the terminology that they're using is mainly..."

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...that I'm homosexual. Which is untrue.

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"Homosexual?"

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"Ohh, so "FAG" means I am gay but I am actually not gay."

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"So, hello! Trump!"

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I can't. No. I'm sorry. I can't wat- I can't watch this anymore.

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How long did I have? Three minutes. Okay.

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It hurts.

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Okay I can't. I can't. That's all I got for today. Jeez. Oh I think I shit myself.

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But I'm not gonna show it off!

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Okay?

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I'm just gonna end this stream here. Did I just say stream? I meant video. Thank you guys for watching!

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Leave a like. And, squad fam out!

