WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:00.020 --> 00:00:01.180 do you trust me? (hell nah) 00:00:02.460 --> 00:00:02.960 Huh? 00:00:03.080 --> 00:00:03.580 come, come on 00:00:03.580 --> 00:00:04.080 come on 00:00:05.200 --> 00:00:06.500 co-co-come, come here 00:00:06.880 --> 00:00:07.680 come closer 00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:08.960 thats it (ok?) 00:00:10.720 --> 00:00:11.220 That's it 00:00:12.440 --> 00:00:16.500 SKRATTAR DUUUU!!! FÖRLORAR DUUU!!! (You Laugh!!! You Lose!!!) 00:00:16.600 --> 00:00:24.600 You Laugh, You Lose™, America's favorite...TV show! Thank you for joining me yet on another great episode. 00:00:24.600 --> 00:00:32.000 This is- This is our first one *claps* 00:00:32.079 --> 00:00:38.200 Trying something new here guys. See if you guys enjoy it. Let me know in the comments the rule is simple, 00:00:38.200 --> 00:00:42.329 You Laugh, You Lose™, so try not to la-. It's try not to laugh but 00:00:42.329 --> 00:00:43.080 ................. (Hello?) 00:00:43.080 --> 00:00:46.160 the same thing. It's the same - it's the same thing 00:00:46.160 --> 00:00:46.900 Ferrari 00:00:46.900 --> 00:00:48.100 Fiat 00:00:48.100 --> 00:00:49.340 Lamborghini 00:00:49.340 --> 00:00:50.220 Pagani 00:00:50.220 --> 00:00:51.060 Maserati 00:00:51.160 --> 00:00:52.120 S P A G H E T T I 00:00:54.420 --> 00:01:02.180 No. That is a micro-aggression right there. Just because you're Italian doesn't mean 00:01:02.180 --> 00:01:04.500 (Trying To Think Of Something Educated) 00:01:04.560 --> 00:01:05.560 S P A G H E T T I 00:01:05.800 --> 00:01:10.000 I don't know, okay. I don't know what it means okay, Nintendo did it first. All right, what else do we got? 00:01:10.300 --> 00:01:12.500 Camera guy: Eh? Emu Man: *Distant* Stopping in the middle of the lights you... 00:01:12.500 --> 00:01:14.500 Camera guy: What the fuck? Passenger: IS THAT A BIRD BRO? 00:01:14.500 --> 00:01:16.500 Camera guy: You walkin' a fookin' Ostrich ya daft cunt? 00:01:16.500 --> 00:01:18.500 Emu Man: It's a fookin' Emu you- 00:01:18.500 --> 00:01:20.500 Camera guy: *retarded laugh* 00:01:20.500 --> 00:01:22.500 Camera guy: IT'S AN EMU! 00:01:22.500 --> 00:01:24.200 Camera guy: *more laughing* 00:01:24.200 --> 00:01:26.200 Camera guy: Let's have a look at her. 00:01:26.480 --> 00:01:26.980 What is happening? 00:01:26.980 --> 00:01:27.500 00:01:27.500 --> 00:01:29.300 Camera guy: She's a beauty isn't she? 00:01:29.300 --> 00:01:30.400 Emu Man: It's an he! 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:31.200 Camera guy: Oh is it? 00:01:31.200 --> 00:01:32.600 Emu Man: His name's Juarez. 00:01:32.600 --> 00:01:34.600 Camera: You're fucked up mate, you mate. Emu Man: He's an asshole. 00:01:34.600 --> 00:01:35.600 Camera: You're fucked up, you. 00:01:35.600 --> 00:01:37.600 Emu Man: Fuck off. *both laugh* 00:01:40.500 --> 00:01:42.660 *lets it sink in* It's a - it's a strange country. 00:01:42.660 --> 00:01:43.200 Camera guy: Eh? 00:01:43.200 --> 00:01:45.200 *English gibberish* 00:01:45.200 --> 00:01:47.200 Camera guy: What the fuck? Passenger: IS THAT A BIRD BRO? 00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:49.300 Camera guy: You walkin' a fookin' ostrich you daft cunt? 00:01:49.400 --> 00:01:51.000 You daft cunt *laughs* 00:01:51.900 --> 00:01:53.000 Emu Man: It's an emu! 00:01:54.400 --> 00:01:59.310 It's an emu! it's an emu! Wow, how could you not spot that? 00:01:59.310 --> 00:02:01.310 Camera guy: It's an emu! 00:02:01.310 --> 00:02:02.700 Camera guy: *laughs* 00:02:02.700 --> 00:02:04.500 Camera guy: Let's have a look at her. 00:02:04.500 --> 00:02:06.000 Emu Man: It's a fookin' emu, man. 00:02:06.000 --> 00:02:07.800 Camera guy: She's a beauty isn't she? 00:02:07.800 --> 00:02:09.060 Emu Man: It's an he. 00:02:09.060 --> 00:02:11.780 Look it's been pecking through his jacket even 00:02:11.780 --> 00:02:12.800 Camera guy: Oh, is it? 00:02:12.800 --> 00:02:14.200 Emu Man: His name's Juarez. 00:02:14.200 --> 00:02:15.000 Camera: You're fucked up, you mate. 00:02:15.000 --> 00:02:16.540 Emu Man: He's an asshole. 00:02:16.540 --> 00:02:18.820 It's gonna be me when I'm older. Just walking my pet 00:02:22.600 --> 00:02:27.900 His name is Wa-Ed. His name is Edgar. He's an asshole (Edgar Wanting To Die) 00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:32.000 *sad music* *edgar gets dissapointed*(RIP Edgar) 00:02:33.740 --> 00:02:40.160 You laugh, you get confused. Why is there an emu and why does that man have an emu? 00:02:41.900 --> 00:02:46.400 (Putin Secretly Playing Death Song) 00:02:47.880 --> 00:02:48.800 is that Putin? 00:02:48.900 --> 00:02:51.000 (Lady Bobbing Her Head Ferociously) 00:02:51.200 --> 00:02:53.200 Aw yeah, that's Putin! 00:02:53.200 --> 00:02:55.140 aw *laughs* 00:02:55.140 --> 00:02:56.980 I think I've seen that one before. 00:02:57.840 --> 00:03:02.920 I'm not sure, I have absolutely no memory. All right. What is this? 00:03:02.920 --> 00:03:03.940 Attendance! 00:03:03.940 --> 00:03:04.440 Motu Patlu 00:03:04.740 --> 00:03:05.580 Present! 00:03:05.580 --> 00:03:06.080 Gattu Battu 00:03:06.340 --> 00:03:06.840 Present! 00:03:07.500 --> 00:03:08.020 Ninja? 00:03:08.020 --> 00:03:08.660 Present! 00:03:08.800 --> 00:03:09.480 Kenichi? (from Ninja Hattori-kun) 00:03:09.480 --> 00:03:09.980 Present! 00:03:10.280 --> 00:03:11.760 (Hindi: Today's topic is..) 00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:13.380 D for DAB!!! 00:03:13.780 --> 00:03:15.980 (excessive use of the word dab with a sick trap beat) (Dabs in Hindi) 00:03:16.340 --> 00:03:20.820 You need COOL CLOTHES + ATTITUDE + NEW HAND MOVES 00:03:20.880 --> 00:03:22.020 AND DAB!!!(no...) 00:03:22.420 --> 00:03:23.660 AND DAB!!!(n-no..) 00:03:24.120 --> 00:03:26.120 AND DAB AND DAB AND DAB!!!(please put me out of my misery) 00:03:26.120 --> 00:03:29.060 This teachers day, let the kids teach you how to be cool. (and how to instantly die) 00:03:29.960 --> 00:03:34.500 Celebrate teacher's day with Nickelodeon™- teach you how to be cool 00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:40.212 *quietly plays in the background* You need COOL CLOTHES + ATTITUDE + NEW HAND MOVES 00:03:40.212 --> 00:03:41.460 AND DAB!!! ( KILL ME.) 00:03:41.460 --> 00:03:48.240 What is this show? Is this real? Is this actually on Nickelodeon™? 'Cause I didn't think you could get worse than Rugrats. 00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:50.260 That's right. I'm calling out Rugrats now 00:03:50.269 --> 00:03:56.809 okay, it was an overrated show, stop fantasizing about it, like OH IT WAS THE BEST! RUGRATS WAS THE SHI-BEST! 00:03:57.090 --> 00:03:58.370 Stfu, alright? It was not good. 00:03:58.370 --> 00:04:02.840 Alright, Angelica was annoying, the main character was flat, his best friend was an idiot 00:04:02.840 --> 00:04:05.690 And that's all I got to say about it. All right! Fight me. 00:04:05.690 --> 00:04:07.690 Motu Patlu? Present. 00:04:07.690 --> 00:04:09.100 Gattu Battu? Present. 00:04:09.100 --> 00:04:10.800 Ninja? Present. 00:04:10.800 --> 00:04:12.600 Kenichi? Present. 00:04:12.600 --> 00:04:15.690 Today's topic is D FOR DAB! (If you are wearing headphones, this is where you lower the damn volume) 00:04:15.690 --> 00:04:17.050 DAB DAB DAB DAB (heil heil heil heil) 00:04:17.050 --> 00:04:18.700 *cool beat in background plays* DABDAB 00:04:18.700 --> 00:04:24.680 YOU NEED COOL CLOTHES+ATTIDUTE+NEW HAND MOVES, AND DABBBBBB (RIP headphone users...) 00:04:24.680 --> 00:04:29.280 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHHHHH*inhales* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 00:04:29.480 --> 00:04:32.820 *Dabs furiously* Oh thank god! Oh! 00:04:32.940 --> 00:04:33.700 Oh! 00:04:34.180 --> 00:04:41.300 Oh ma GAH! 00:04:41.500 --> 00:04:43.780 Oh, I almost died *not clickbait* 00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:45.780 *dramatic breath* 00:04:47.160 --> 00:04:49.160 The shit that they show the kids these days! 00:04:50.200 --> 00:04:51.460 Disgusting! 00:04:51.460 --> 00:04:54.640 I am offend- is this what it feels like to be offended? 00:04:55.480 --> 00:04:56.360 Oh 00:04:56.360 --> 00:04:58.100 Oh no 00:04:58.100 --> 00:04:59.560 Oh 00:04:59.560 --> 00:05:03.100 I've never felt offended- Oh, this is not right! 00:05:03.480 --> 00:05:07.220 (OH MY JAM!!!!!!!!) 00:05:07.400 --> 00:05:14.980 *sobbing and breathing heavily*(felix are you OK?) 00:05:14.980 --> 00:05:16.980 (generic intermission) 00:05:17.180 --> 00:05:23.780 (SAD MUSIC) Those eyes. Those eyes are the eyes of the devil. I've seen the devil. 00:05:24.780 --> 00:05:28.000 *moaning* 00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:31.060 to make this video 10 minutes long 00:05:31.200 --> 00:05:37.600 Oh*exhales**inhales**exhales* 00:05:38.400 --> 00:05:40.360 00:05:41.020 --> 00:05:45.800 clown: You want penis enlargement pills? 00:05:45.800 --> 00:05:47.480 *pewds thinks of wanting to get one* 00:05:49.500 --> 00:05:51.000 a-Yes, please. 00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:54.680 I've seen this. It's funny but you can hear them say like: "Are you ready? Okay" 00:05:57.210 --> 00:06:04.189 It kind of ruins it okay, all right, okay, okay, all right, okay, okay? All right? I'm sorry 00:06:04.189 --> 00:06:06.000 I'd hate to ruin your memes. 00:06:06.160 --> 00:06:07.740 That is the system! 00:06:07.740 --> 00:06:12.440 And I'm sure Skywalker is with them. Set your course for the Hoth system. 00:06:13.320 --> 00:06:15.320 General Veers! You are too close to me. 00:06:16.920 --> 00:06:17.940 BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 00:06:18.860 --> 00:06:21.720 What? That was well done! 00:06:22.100 --> 00:06:25.380 General Veers! You are too close to me. 00:06:25.380 --> 00:06:29.520 what i neve- im really confused. is that real? I dont think so. 00:06:29.520 --> 00:06:31.240 That had absolutely nothing to do with sports 00:06:31.240 --> 00:06:37.020 And they said: "What, you can't have this opinion? It's too conservative. We're not going to allow it." 00:06:37.020 --> 00:06:38.380 I think that's a bad move 00:06:38.380 --> 00:06:40.580 I'm a First Amendment Absolutist 00:06:40.580 --> 00:06:45.120 I believe in only two things completely: the First Amendment and boobs 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:46.100 PFFPHH 00:06:46.260 --> 00:06:51.560 "You can't always trust boobs." - PewDiePie2017 Lets get real here, they push them up sometimes,and youre like 00:06:51.620 --> 00:06:58.760 PFHH x3 Disappointment, you just set up for dis.. you're just setting them up for disappointment ladies 00:06:58.760 --> 00:07:00.220 The first amendment and boobs 00:07:00.380 --> 00:07:01.126 *TRIGGERED WHAMEN IS TRIGGERED* 00:07:01.126 --> 00:07:02.980 I just want to make sure i heard you correctly as a woman anchoring the show. 00:07:03.080 --> 00:07:06.440 You say.. what did you just say? You believe in the first amendment and 00:07:06.600 --> 00:07:08.120 'B' double 'O' 'BS'? (B O O B S) 00:07:08.120 --> 00:07:13.540 Boobs. Two things that have only known down in this entire country's history the First Amendment and boobs 00:07:13.700 --> 00:07:17.100 So those are the only 2 things i believe in absolutely in the country 00:07:17.700 --> 00:07:21.260 Oh they're so upset! 00:07:21.260 --> 00:07:23.860 Blatant sexism. Comments about her appearance comments about 00:07:24.440 --> 00:07:26.860 She wasn't commenting about you dickhead! 00:07:28.880 --> 00:07:31.269 He said he believed in boobs oh no.. 00:07:32.000 --> 00:07:33.269 *offended whamen*:As a woman I'm-I'm... 00:07:33.800 --> 00:07:35.800 How fragile can you be? 00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:40.460 *HERE YOU SEE A TRIGGERED WHAMEN IN HER TRIGGERED STATE TRYING TO ARGUE ABOUT B O O B S 00:07:40.460 --> 00:07:41.720 (INHALEEEEEEEE) She just doesn't- 00:07:41.720 --> 00:07:44.040 Oh, that's beautiful 00:07:45.680 --> 00:07:47.680 She's rea- they're reacting reacting like- 00:07:48.350 --> 00:07:51.879 He's saying "I'm gonna kill you" or like 00:07:52.400 --> 00:07:54.100 threatening her for her life 00:07:54.100 --> 00:07:56.199 he just said he believes in boobs 00:07:56.450 --> 00:07:57.140 as a meme 00:07:57.140 --> 00:08:02.800 Ability to be able to comment on sports because of her gender and to say something like the only thing I believe in... 00:08:02.800 --> 00:08:08.200 (TRIGGERED)I'm Just- I'm Still There Too, And I Just Wanna Make Sure I'm Hearing You Correctly B-OO-ZE!? Or- 00:08:08.460 --> 00:08:14.580 I just want to make sure I understand horrible words that came out of your mouth 00:08:14.600 --> 00:08:22.000 on live television. Did you say B-O-C-C, or B-O-B?! 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:34.000 *guitar hero is lyf* 00:08:34.220 --> 00:08:40.740 Okay all right, okay? Yeah, yeah, all right, okay? All right? What do we got? 00:08:40.740 --> 00:08:43.060 (DIsneyland, land of fun times) 00:08:43.060 --> 00:08:45.060 (wait that's not christian at all) 00:08:45.740 --> 00:08:47.740 Oh, oh wow 00:08:48.860 --> 00:08:50.860 *laughs* 00:08:52.040 --> 00:08:54.040 What?! 00:08:56.600 --> 00:09:04.080 That's some weird furry shit man look he slaps his hand afterwards like... what? 00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:11.200 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 00:09:11.680 --> 00:09:16.880 No no no don't do it 00:09:17.480 --> 00:09:21.900 *R Kelly - I Believe I Can Fly* 00:09:22.280 --> 00:09:24.640 Thank you for watching another 00:09:25.020 --> 00:09:30.380 You Laugh, You Lose™. This is the first episode I mean. Thank you guys. I really hope this series will take off 00:09:30.630 --> 00:09:33.120 Maybe I'll make one or two more 00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:36.840 depending on the support that I'm getting from you bros and maybe one day 00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:41.120 we will not laugh in one of the episodes. Did you laugh, or did you lose? 00:09:41.460 --> 00:09:47.300 Let me know in the comments down below and as always have a great merry time 00:09:47.300 --> 00:09:50.000 And I am your host 00:09:50.340 --> 00:09:52.960 Kage Bunshin no Jutsu 00:09:53.080 --> 00:10:00.180 subscribe to Alex KimVideo https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcz1yff6OI8uXolGCZz6bmA