WEBVTT Kind: captions Language: en 00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.960 *Felix Crying* 00:00:06.300 --> 00:00:07.620 Cardboard Felix: What's the matter PewDiePie? 00:00:07.700 --> 00:00:09.640 Felix: Well, ever since you lost your legs.. 00:00:09.700 --> 00:00:11.660 I have no one to react with.. 00:00:11.660 --> 00:00:12.600 (Unknown): What about me? 00:00:12.600 --> 00:00:15.100 I have a cringe challenge for you, PewDiePie. Pewds: Who said that? 00:00:15.100 --> 00:00:15.800 Felix: Where are you? ! 00:00:15.800 --> 00:00:17.000 (unknown): I love you. 00:00:17.000 --> 00:00:18.040 Kiss these plastic lips 00:00:18.040 --> 00:00:19.000 (Overlapping) Pewds: Show Yourself! 00:00:19.000 --> 00:00:19.600 (Unkown Source): boy 00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:21.400 (Distorted sound) 00:00:22.900 --> 00:00:23.800 Garble.. 00:00:23.800 --> 00:00:29.000 (Getting warm in this vid) 00:00:29.000 --> 00:00:31.000 (oooooOOOOOOOOOOOhhHhhhhHHHHHH) 00:00:31.000 --> 00:00:33.580 (#donttellmarzia) 00:00:33.580 --> 00:00:38.080 How did you know my favorite thing, these things are practically free views! 00:00:38.700 --> 00:00:39.900 Hey you wanna hit that, 00:00:40.700 --> 00:00:42.320 You wanna hit that vape, Garble? 00:00:42.600 --> 00:00:44.080 (Dope music) 00:00:44.080 --> 00:00:44.800 Hell yeah. 00:00:45.800 --> 00:00:47.100 I'm smokin' a pipe! 00:00:48.140 --> 00:00:49.100 Here you go, let me hit you up. 00:00:51.800 --> 00:00:53.120 (Felix making himself laugh) 00:00:53.200 --> 00:00:56.000 "TV Reporter Accidentally Ruins Martial Art..- 00:00:56.600 --> 00:00:57.880 ..'s Master Demo." 00:00:58.000 --> 00:01:01.620 Martial Artist: I'm gonna break that concrete slab with that glass without breaking the glass. 00:01:02.000 --> 00:01:03.180 *Felix imitating him* Without breakin' the glass! 00:01:03.180 --> 00:01:04.000 TV Reporter: You ready? Martial Artist: I'm ready. Let's go. 00:01:04.000 --> 00:01:05.540 Felix: Oh I'm excited for this, this is gonna be good. 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.480 Come on.. How is he gonna do that? 00:01:12.200 --> 00:01:14.100 How?? That's dangerous! Don't do it!! 00:01:14.500 --> 00:01:15.180 Garble! 00:01:15.400 --> 00:01:16.100 (Sound of concrete breaking) 00:01:16.800 --> 00:01:17.720 Pewds: Woah.. Reporter: That's incredible! 00:01:19.100 --> 00:01:21.300 Reporter: To be honest, I actually felt these bricks, these are real bricks. 00:01:21.500 --> 00:01:22.740 I mean there's no- Martial Artist: Don't! (He warned him enough...) 00:01:22.800 --> 00:01:23.900 Reporter: Woah woahh! 00:01:24.300 --> 00:01:25.500 Waahhh! (trying so hard to hide his mistake) 00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:26.840 Reporter: Check it out, baby. 00:01:27.500 --> 00:01:29.000 Reporter: Guns. Martial Artist: GUNS! 00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:30.900 Martial Artist: How the hell did you do that?? (Reporter laughing) (Martial Artist trying to keep up with the Reporter's shit) 00:01:31.700 --> 00:01:33.800 (Felix cringing noises) 00:01:33.900 --> 00:01:38.600 (In The End by Linkin Park plays) 00:01:38.600 --> 00:01:40.300 Reporter: That was- Good job, good job.. 00:01:40.300 --> 00:01:41.720 Pewds: OHHH THE HANDSHAKE- 00:01:41.720 --> 00:01:42.800 (Cringing noises) 00:01:43.200 --> 00:01:44.120 (Felix dying of cringeyness) 00:01:44.300 --> 00:01:45.400 THE HANDSHAKE.. 00:01:45.900 --> 00:01:47.500 Give me a replay of that shit! 00:01:47.600 --> 00:01:48.500 What the fuck? 00:01:48.500 --> 00:01:53.100 *In the end by Linkin Park playing* 00:01:53.100 --> 00:01:54.300 *Groans* OHHHHHHHH 00:01:54.300 --> 00:01:58.900 It hurts! This is why I love you, Gubble (Gubble?) because you don't have any fucking hands. 00:01:59.100 --> 00:02:00.760 There's no way we can handshake! 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:02.760 Gubble: On to the next cringe video 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:06.160 "Pharrell Stops Functioning For 20 Seconds... 00:02:06.160 --> 00:02:07.400 ...and it's awkward.." 00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:11.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson: The frequencies that are generated within atoms are far more accurate 00:02:11.000 --> 00:02:14.220 than anything earth, and the sun and the moon have ever dreamed of doing. 00:02:14.220 --> 00:02:16.660 And that- so now we use the atomic clock 00:02:16.660 --> 00:02:18.000 And we can- and you want to have time and space 00:02:18.000 --> 00:02:20.500 Pharrell interrupts: Oh, the atomic clock is really based on, like atoms? 00:02:20.500 --> 00:02:21.900 Neil deGrasse: Oh yea! so now you bring the clock in to space 00:02:21.900 --> 00:02:23.500 (Pharrell is "amazed") 00:02:23.500 --> 00:02:24.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson: And you don't- 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:29.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson: you- you no longer have to- yeah exactly (laughs) 00:02:29.000 --> 00:02:30.640 WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 00:02:30.640 --> 00:02:31.200 Felix:Oh. 00:02:31.200 --> 00:02:32.700 Neil deGrasse: It's actually based on electrons (Pharrell is still going WOAHHHHHHH) 00:02:32.700 --> 00:02:33.900 Pewds:He keeps going huh? 00:02:33.900 --> 00:02:37.360 Neil DeGrasse Tyson: To be precise Pharrell:WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 00:02:37.400 --> 00:02:38.320 Pewds:Pharrell stop! 00:02:39.040 --> 00:02:40.360 Neil: I don't know what frequency that is... 00:02:40.500 --> 00:02:42.060 Pewds:JUST FUCKING STOP! 00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:44.700 Dude in the video: It's Mind Blown Remix Pewds: No! 00:02:44.700 --> 00:02:45.700 Neil: Is that what that is? (laughs) 00:02:45.700 --> 00:02:48.200 (Pharrell is mindblown) Pewds: What The F*CK WAS THAT? 00:02:49.200 --> 00:02:50.500 *Groans* 00:02:50.500 --> 00:02:51.700 WHAT THE SHIT 00:02:54.900 --> 00:03:19.960 (Pharrell Settting the world record for the longest WOAH. 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:21.500 Well... 00:03:22.800 --> 00:03:26.100 We managed to fi- find someone more unfunny than me; How 'bout that? 00:03:26.100 --> 00:03:27.200 Pharrell 00:03:27.200 --> 00:03:28.000 Pharrell, everyone 00:03:28.000 --> 00:03:30.200 Maybe he should just stick to his music 00:03:30.200 --> 00:03:33.560 *gets out of topic* "Woman Takes Creep Shot of Guy's Junk." 00:03:33.800 --> 00:03:35.560 (why is the girl doing a face dance?) 00:03:36.760 --> 00:03:38.500 Oh. Look at her, she looks so guilty! 00:03:42.440 --> 00:03:43.900 Oh fuck yeah! 00:03:44.900 --> 00:03:45.800 oh... 00:03:53.240 --> 00:03:54.800 Look at her, she looks so guilty! 00:03:55.240 --> 00:03:57.480 This is the least casual person I've ever seen! 00:03:57.480 --> 00:03:59.480 *Felix is freaking out* SHE MADE EYE CONTACT WITH THE CAMERA 00:04:03.960 --> 00:04:04.960 OOOHHHH 00:04:07.200 --> 00:04:08.100 OH 00:04:08.700 --> 00:04:11.060 *Stutters* 00:04:12.340 --> 00:04:14.740 *Felix making an impression of the girl* Phones! How do they work?? 00:04:14.740 --> 00:04:16.740 Let me see that shit again. 00:04:16.740 --> 00:04:17.940 That was beautiful. 00:04:22.660 --> 00:04:26.820 (Comedy show credits) 00:04:26.820 --> 00:04:30.180 How are you doing now- You look so cute in this shot :3 00:04:30.180 --> 00:04:31.060 Isn't this a great shot? 00:04:31.060 --> 00:04:33.060 *Garble attacking Felix* 00:04:33.340 --> 00:04:33.840 hey 00:04:34.120 --> 00:04:34.620 Garble! 00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:35.420 gARBLE 00:04:35.720 --> 00:04:36.220 GARBLE 00:04:37.040 --> 00:04:39.480 "Bill Clinton Denied a Kiss From Hillary." 00:04:39.940 --> 00:04:41.940 *Hillary leans to Bill 00:04:41.940 --> 00:04:43.520 *Leans away and leans to Obama 00:04:43.520 --> 00:04:45.520 *Gives Obama a kiss :* * 00:04:46.400 --> 00:04:48.400 *Felix is amused* 00:04:49.120 --> 00:04:51.120 *Weird noises* 00:04:54.640 --> 00:04:55.140 WHAT 00:04:55.140 --> 00:04:55.640 THE 00:04:55.640 --> 00:04:56.140 FUCK 00:04:58.920 --> 00:05:00.920 Well, you know what they say... 00:05:01.220 --> 00:05:02.380 Once you go.... 00:05:04.500 --> 00:05:05.160 President.... 00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:05.980 *Stutters* 00:05:07.060 --> 00:05:07.780 You come back.... 00:05:11.620 --> 00:05:13.620 Alright moving on. (FINISH YOUR GODDAMN SENTENCE) 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:20.260 *More comedy credits...* 00:05:21.300 --> 00:05:21.820 "Code Babes" 00:05:22.440 --> 00:05:24.260 Camille (from the video):Hey this is Camille for CodeBabes.com 00:05:24.260 --> 00:05:25.540 Want to learn the code? 00:05:25.820 --> 00:05:27.540 Are you having trouble paying attention? 00:05:27.540 --> 00:05:29.180 Welcome to your solution. 00:05:29.380 --> 00:05:31.180 All the other sites offer same shit. (At an advertisement, really? 00:05:31.960 --> 00:05:33.960 We take [inaudible] to the next level 00:05:34.260 --> 00:05:35.960 Offering real positive feed back 00:05:35.960 --> 00:05:37.640 like Pavlov's dog on crack (SO MUCH DOOOGGGEEE) 00:05:37.640 --> 00:05:38.140 Felix: She said shit..... 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:39.920 This must be legit. 00:05:41.700 --> 00:05:43.020 Camille: You watch a lesson... 00:05:43.020 --> 00:05:44.180 Absorb the info 00:05:44.180 --> 00:05:45.860 pass the quiz 00:05:45.860 --> 00:05:47.860 Felix interrupts: And then you jerk off! 00:05:48.140 --> 00:05:49.860 Cam: Your instructor will remove one piece of clothing (HUWAT) 00:05:50.180 --> 00:05:56.540 (Hallelujah for Felix) 00:05:56.540 --> 00:05:59.180 Felix: oh my fucking God thATS GENIUS 00:05:59.500 --> 00:06:04.320 Cam: So join some ridiculously hot code babes and start your web development career today. 00:06:04.600 --> 00:06:07.520 *Felix actually doing so* 00:06:08.120 --> 00:06:09.260 Felix: I don't even care about coding! 00:06:09.540 --> 00:06:11.260 A-Alright- I get to select which one! 00:06:11.600 --> 00:06:12.680 Do I wanna learn... 00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:16.880 (Android Virgin.....) 00:06:17.220 --> 00:06:18.380 The Android Virgin... 00:06:18.380 --> 00:06:20.380 yeah- I'll go with the Android Virgin; I think 00:06:20.480 --> 00:06:22.100 Thank you very much :) 00:06:22.460 --> 00:06:24.460 *Skips the vid to find the girl naked* 00:06:24.760 --> 00:06:27.120 *Boring shit...* 00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:32.080 When the fuck is she taking her clothes off? 00:06:36.520 --> 00:06:40.240 Felix: It's always great to learn stuff from people who don't know what the fuck they're talking about 00:06:40.240 --> 00:06:43.480 Activity is just how Android refers to- 00:06:43.480 --> 00:06:47.460 *Insert sarcasm* That really- That really inspires me to learn because there's really passion behind the words 00:06:48.200 --> 00:06:49.780 Woman: I love sushi. 00:06:49.780 --> 00:06:51.460 Man: I love Japan; period. 00:06:51.800 --> 00:06:53.640 [Inaudible] 00:06:53.860 --> 00:06:56.720 oh my God I've seen this one, I've seen this one a very long time ago! 00:06:57.960 --> 00:06:59.960 GURUGOME 00:07:00.120 --> 00:07:02.880 Felix: GURUGAME *laughs* 00:07:03.460 --> 00:07:04.860 YEHEHESSS 00:07:05.680 --> 00:07:07.980 I forgot about that meme it was so fucking good! 00:07:08.500 --> 00:07:09.980 GURUGAME 00:07:09.980 --> 00:07:11.800 Other dude: I love anime! 00:07:12.040 --> 00:07:12.540 Oh my God.... 00:07:13.540 --> 00:07:15.960 Is this real?I never watched beyond this part! 00:07:16.640 --> 00:07:18.640 *Imitates other dude* I love anime! 00:07:18.640 --> 00:07:20.640 OD: I love anime! 00:07:20.640 --> 00:07:22.640 OG: And manga! 00:07:22.640 --> 00:07:24.240 OOD: AND GAMING! 00:07:24.240 --> 00:07:26.240 Felix: AND GAMING 00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:29.120 Onision: This is my vegitarian BOOODDEEEEHH 00:07:29.120 --> 00:07:30.800 aND GAMINg 00:07:30.800 --> 00:07:32.800 vEGAN BODY 00:07:32.800 --> 00:07:34.800 *Clusterfuck of voices* 00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:38.240 Felix: I would love to be that person 00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:40.240 I would LOVE to be that person <3 00:07:40.960 --> 00:07:42.000 So much. 00:07:42.000 --> 00:07:44.000 People are just randomly talking about the stuff they like 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:46.000 *Imitating* Oh man, this food is so good! 00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:49.560 And just randomly pop in with a fucking thing in your hand 00:07:49.560 --> 00:07:51.560 AND GAMIIING 00:07:52.020 --> 00:07:53.560 And gaming! 00:07:53.560 --> 00:07:55.060 Anime! 00:07:55.060 --> 00:07:56.300 OG: and manga! 00:07:56.300 --> 00:07:57.740 I love this video <3 00:07:57.740 --> 00:07:58.680 That's a great fucken video. 00:07:59.220 --> 00:08:00.180 A really good video. 00:08:00.180 --> 00:08:02.700 *Moves on to the next topic* "Sonic Heroes Happy Meal Ad." 00:08:02.700 --> 00:08:04.320 It's in Pakistan. 00:08:04.320 --> 00:08:06.320 *Distorted Captions incoming* 00:08:06.320 --> 00:08:08.320 i"ll cHECKMYHAPPYMEAL 00:08:10.580 --> 00:08:12.580 Tayls SUKER 00:08:15.440 --> 00:08:17.920 Sanic SKETBORD 00:08:20.300 --> 00:08:22.300 *Laughs* 00:08:22.720 --> 00:08:23.680 No... 00:08:27.320 --> 00:08:29.320 Poor Sonic- can you stop 00:08:29.320 --> 00:08:30.540 fucking Sonic? 00:08:31.480 --> 00:08:33.480 He's been fucked enough! (He's not a virgin anymore??) 00:08:33.780 --> 00:08:34.280 Stop! 00:08:34.560 --> 00:08:36.560 sANiC SKETBORD 00:08:36.560 --> 00:08:38.560 *Imitates* Sonic Sketbord! 00:08:39.280 --> 00:08:43.100 (More sanic sketbord) 00:08:43.420 --> 00:08:45.640 Shedow BASKETBOL 00:08:45.640 --> 00:08:47.640 *Imitates last line* 00:08:47.640 --> 00:08:49.640 Knukels BAYSBAWL 00:08:49.640 --> 00:08:50.620 *groans* 00:08:51.100 --> 00:09:00.080 *wat* 00:09:00.460 --> 00:09:02.460 Garble: Cringe, PewDiePie. 00:09:02.460 --> 00:09:04.460 You will cringe, PewDiePie 00:09:04.460 --> 00:09:06.940 YOU WILL CRINGE PEWDIEPIE! 00:09:06.940 --> 00:09:08.940 Watch this last video! 00:09:08.940 --> 00:09:10.940 "Mine-con 2016." (Get ready guys this is some veeerrryyy bad shit.) 00:09:10.940 --> 00:09:12.540 Host: Oh, hello! 00:09:12.540 --> 00:09:14.200 It has to be an ocelot, right? 00:09:14.200 --> 00:09:15.860 *Girl shakes her head* 00:09:15.860 --> 00:09:16.640 [Inaudible] See your tail? 00:09:17.380 --> 00:09:19.380 Host: Oh okay. 00:09:19.540 --> 00:09:21.540 She's actually my favorite game character ever; It's tails (Here it comes...) 00:09:21.700 --> 00:09:23.860 Girl: .....I'm STAMPY. 00:09:23.860 --> 00:09:26.980 (RIP Felix, Cause of death: Too much cringe) 00:09:26.980 --> 00:09:28.980 *ULTIMATE CRINGE GROAN 00:09:29.620 --> 00:09:31.620 HAHAHAH 00:09:32.860 --> 00:09:38.060 o-ho.. Oh no 00:09:41.780 --> 00:09:43.900 It was Stampy, you dumb bitch 00:09:44.700 --> 00:09:46.700 Oh no.